Ruin-A-Wish Foundation.

[Ham_authority95]

I give you a metal hat with sugar on it! HAHA!!

I wish I could die. HA!

 

[BigDeadMushy]

granted.but because you have used the DeathNote,you can neither go to heaven nor hell.

I wish I had a 2 petaByte hard drive.

 

[Eumersian]

Granted, filled up with goatse.

I wish for nothing in particular.

 

[BigDeadMushy]

granted.you get slapped across the face by an angry genie,who then shackles you,and tells you in long,laborious detail about how wasting wishes like that demeans his entire profession.


I wish for the ability to conjure delicious snacks when I want them.

 

[cryogeist]

Granted! they pop up in your head

I wish i could use magic

 

[BigDeadMushy]

granted! in order for your spells to work,you have to ritually write a 1000 word thesis and perform an interpretive dance to the sound of bagpipes and belly-drums.

an easy one:
I wish I could fly.

 

[cryogeist]

Granted! into a plane!

I was i could kill people on command

 

[BigDeadMushy]

granted.but having the power makes you just not want to do it any more.


I wish for a 13 sided die.just to mess with DMs.

 

[Athol]

Granted, the first DM you show it to crams it down your throat.

I wish for a good nap

 

[BigDeadMushy]

granted.the nap is soooo good,you don't notice your house burning down around you.


I wish it would stay warm and dry enough to get all my washing done.

 

[Eumersian]

Granted. But good luck getting your washing done when you're DEAD!

I wish for another cookie.

 

[BigDeadMushy]

granted.you find another cookie behind the fridge.
go on.
eat it.
I Dare you.
it LOOKS delicious enough...


I wish my razor wasn't broken

 

[Protocol95]

Granted, the razor is missing.

I wish to be a happier person.

 

[BigDeadMushy]

granted.people find your happiness so irritating that they abandon you.


I wish for motivation to match my potential

 

[AwesomeExpress]

Granted, your potential plummets.

I wish for the power of Shazam.

 

[Eumersian]

Granted, but then you die because I'm uncreative.

I wish for sleep.

 

[BigDeadMushy]

granted.now only the kiss of a handsome prince will wake you.

I wsih tish bda caes if tyops wuld clare op

 

[Eumersian]

Granted. You will receive your medicine and regimen of face-punches in the mail tomorrow.

I wish for an avatar.

 

[staika]

Granted, but its invisible

I wish for a lamp

 

[BigDeadMushy]

granted.it is voice activated and everything,it's so fancy.
too bad you have forgotten the very specific passwords and pitch required for the sensor.


I wish for my own super-secret underground laboratory fulla scienticians