Ruin-A-Wish Foundation.

[TacticalAssassin1]

Granted, but then all your friends hate you for being a layer.

I wish for all the games on Steam. FOR FREE. On an account that never gets hacked.
To be played on a computer that never breaks down and is always updated.

 

[StormShaun]

Granted, Except Gabe Newell comes over to your house and sits on you because he does not like FREE GAMES!.

I wish I had the power of lightning and I'm wearing a full suit of rubber, with oxygen tank, food and water support.

 

[Hyperrhombus]

Granted, the lightning strikes the metal oxygen tank which promptly explodes you into tiny little pieces.

I wish my 100th post (yay!) had a little more significance...

 

[steeple]

granted, it's will be studied an analyzed in the future by our successors...

I wish for more pirate music!

 

[souper soup guy]

Granted, but you arrested for illegally downloading it
I wish that I had a badass fedora right now

 

[staika]

Granted, but fedora's fall out of style completely and everyone mocks you for wearing one and you are kicked out of public places as well when you have it on D:

I wish I had more hats :3

 

[Robert632]

Granted. You gain so many hats, your house collapses under the sheer weight of them.

I wish for a thing to wish for.

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Granted but you lost your place in the queue and when you get to wish again, you forget again.

I wish I would remember his wish for him.

 

[Eumersian]

Granted, but the wish is appalling to you.

I wish for something nice.

 

[AwesomeExpress]

Granted, you get a nice kick in the shins, and a nice bruise afterwords.

I wish for another exciting episode of Castle.

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Granted, the Castle documentary about James Castle is on. He's known about being the most boring man in the history of history.

I wish for opportunities.

 

[steeple]

granted, you dont use any of them

I wish for chocolate rain

 

[socialtangent]

Granted, but now you're dealing with the biggest ant infestation Earth has ever known.

I wish for new guitar strings.

 

[staika]

Granted, but they break after you put them on D:

I wish for I had more skill :/

 

[steeple]

granted, you know are as skilled as a noob parrot playing halo (you asked for more, not a lot more)...

I wish for an ocean of punchlines...

 

[souper soup guy]

Granted but you laugh so hard you drown,
alternatively none of them are funny.

I wish that I could make bacon appear out of thin air at no cost to me.

 

[steeple]

granted, it tastes horrible (yes, that is possible!)

I wish to dance the dance of solitude

 

[StormShaun]

Wish granted. I do not know what the hell that is but I shall make you dance until you dance so much that you explode and the Earth.

I wish to know more.

 

[steeple]

Wish granted. I do not know what the hell that is but I shall make you dance until you dance so much that you explode and the Earth.

I wish to know more.

Spoiler: granted

I wish that what was seen could be unseen

 

[StormShaun]

Wish...NOT GRANTED!

Even me the genie cannot make that video go away.

I wish I could fulfill your wish.