Ruin-A-Wish Foundation.

[Eumersian]

Granted. This dog turns out to be a robot dog, who grows in intelligence and eventually gaining sentience and taking over the world. Then, you will never get your pipe and slippers again, and you can just forget about that soup.

I wish for a chair.

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Granted.

There's your chair.

I wish for more Far Side cartoons.

 

[QuietCupOfTea]

Granted, but you lose your sense of humour, so they're not funny to you anymore.

I wish for snow.

 

[steeple]

granted, you cant see any (because they're too far!)

EDIT: granted, but because you're a terrible ninja, you're stuck on the top of a frozen mountain with only a york pepper-mint patty as food!

I wish for better jokes...

 

[QuietCupOfTea]

Granted, but you're the only one who gets them.

I wish I was good at dancing.

 

[steeple]

@tea: I could live with that, most of my jokes currently only make me laugh anyway

OT: granted, now every time you dance you light up on fire

I wish my hand was a dolphin

 

[Robert632]

Granted. You just lost an arm in exchange for an animal that has been connected to raping humans. Have fun.

I wish I could remember everything ever at the same time.

 

[QuietCupOfTea]

Granted, but it's too much information for your brain to handle, so you just sit there staring into space for the rest of your life.

I wish I could have a cat.

@Steeple: Don't ruin my evil plan! XD

 

[steeple]

@tea: but where's the fun in that? >

OT: granted, but it's evil and turns you into a slave to bring him milk every day and scratch it's belly on mere request (you know, like any other cat)

I wish I could have a pet wolf, that would not eat me or any other human being (unless I want them to be eaten, of course)

 

[QuietCupOfTea]

Granted, but it ruins everything else it comes across.

I wish I could turn invisible whenever I wanted to.

@Steeple: There's... plenty of fun in that... <.<

 

[steeple]

@tea: not nearly as much as foiling plans!

OT: granted, but you turn back visible at the worst possible moments

I wish I had four stomachs (cookie for ref, and no cheating with mr. google!)

 

[QuietCupOfTea]

Granted, but you get cancer in all of them. (But, but... D

I wish for a cookie.

@Steeple: Damn it. >.<

 

[steeple]

@tea: that's what you get for planning plans!

OT: wish DENIED! (even seen the show ed edd n' eddie?)

I wish for milk with my cookies, which shall remain mine

 

[Robert632]

Granted. The only way you can ensure that they remain yours is if you seal them away, never to be eaten/drunk.

I wish I didn't feel awkward jumping into your wish-ruining fight.

 

[QuietCupOfTea]

Granted, but now everything else feels awkward instead.

I wish it wasn't so late.

@Steeple: Maybe I should just stop. Maybe I'm not cut out to ruin other people's wishes! D:

@Robert632: Hello to you!

 

[pyramid head grape]

Granded. I unadd you! D:

I wish to stop missing up threads! XD

 

[steeple]

@tea: nonsense! you're doing a fantastic job at it so far!
@robert: you dont have to, the more the merrier!

OT: granted, you're now so anal about your posts that you stop being funny and lovable...
also you can never be drunk again

I wish for an epic pouting maneuver

 

[Eumersian]

Granted. Your pouts are so adorable, that everyone who sees it asplodes.

I wish for nothing more than true love.

 

[steeple]

granted, lover boy ;D

I wish that it wasnt forbidden

 

[StormShaun]

Wish granted, now people think that killing you isn't forbidden...better run.