Ruin-A-Wish Foundation.

[Crimson Lucario]

Granted, it's too powerful for any computer for the next 100 years.

I wish that my cat would be elected president of the USA.

 

[zombiekiller1907]

Granted. Your cat then runs USA to the ground, causing a war that killed you and your family. All that in a record time of 2 days.

I wish that people would stop doing stupid things for the sake of world records.

 

[Crimson Lucario]

Granted, they are doing it for the "World minus zombiekiller1907" records now.

I wish I had 4 arms like Machamp.

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Granted, you're handed a license plate that reads 3DS XL. It's short a digit so it costs you more.

I wish for more Loons.

 

[Dr.Susse]

Granted but now porn doesn't either.

I wish time was money.

 

[zombiekiller1907]

granted. Physics as we know it breaks down, and destroys the whole universe.

I wish for figures of speech to become literal

 

[madseverus]

Granted, the food you just ate really WAS the dog's bollocks.

I wish for a lower chair.

 

[Dalek Caan]

Pssssssssssst, your forgot to make a wish.

I wish Tizzy would make a wish.

 

[Dr.Susse]

Granted he is now you live in room mate.

I wish AFL was the most popular game in the world.

 

[Porygon-2000]

Granted, it tastes like crap (which it does, incidentally)

I wish those damn spy-bots would leave my vulnerable back alone!

 

[madseverus]

Granted, now everyone in a 5 mile vicinity of you wants one.

I wish for a car.

 

[Roxas1359]

Granted, it's a vintage 1954 Chevy truck model car. Mint-condition, still in the box.

I wish for some cheese.

 

[Living_Brain]

Granted. I feel less evil today so there's too much salt in it.
I wish for longer days and years.

 

[Porygon-2000]

Granted, it's so thorough, it even wipes the display clean off!

I wish I could get out of bed in the morning

 

[zombiekiller1907]

Granted, but you can't get out of your house.

I wish valve made better quality games more frequently

 

[Porygon-2000]

Granted. Say hello to Team Fortress 3, 4, 5, 6....

I wish I could draw

 

[Living_Brain]

Granted. Your drawings are so great they are stolen and never seen again. All of them.
I wish for $764.98 quick.

 

[dtgenshiken7]

Granted, you overdose on sleeping pills and never wake up.

I wish for the below wish to go wrong.

 

[Porygon-2000]

Granted, you cause a paradoxical singularity that erases you from time.

I wish I had a good ringtone for my phone.

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Granted, its easy to relax your muscles after being beheaded.

I wish for a wingmate.