Ruin-A-Wish Foundation.

[Not G. Ivingname]

Spoiler: Granted!

I wish I had Brain Bleach.

 

[Dr.Susse]

Granted but it's applied the same way as you picture....

Seriously whoa!

I wish for the end to suffering.

 

[thesilentman]

Granted. Hope you like the Brave New World!

I wish for less politicians.

 

[Living_Brain]

Granted. Anarchy reigns.

I wish for a few clones to do multiple things at once.

 

[Euryalus]

Granted, but they'll murder you in your sleep for giving them life just as a means to cheap labor.

I wish to wish on eyelashes

 

[thesilentman]

Granted. Enjoy your next 37000 lives as eyelashes!

I wish to work more.

 

[NoOne852]

Granted. Enjoy your stay in one of Hitler's concentration camps!

I wish I had a time machine...There's something I need to take care of...

Spoiler

 

[Hemlock]

Granted. But you can only go backwards in time.
I wish for a shrubbery!

 

[Dr.Susse]

Granted but first you must cut down the tallest tree in the forest......WITH A HERRING!

I wish Monty Python was still around.

 

[MrCollins]

Granted, but they do not write any new sketches, they just repeat their old punchlines with no effort.

I wish for some Lego.

 

[Hemlock]

Granted, but they are invisible to you.
I wish for a robot with skilled fencing.

 

[Living_Brain]

He builds more fencing robots and takes over the planet.

I wish I actually loved my girlfriend.

 

[Hemlock]

Granted, but she cheats on you a bit later on.
I wish for a cardboard box.

 

[thesilentman]

Granted. Said cardboard box is a Mimic that kills you brutally.

I wish for more luck.

 

[Living_Brain]

Granted. Bad luck though. So much (bad) luck you become the next Bad Luck Brian.

I wish I could be funny on the internet as I am IRL sometimes.

 

[Hemlock]

Granted, but you use the same schtick over and over again.
I wish for a sandwich.

 

[Living_Brain]

Granted. It is made not with bread but with small bags of sand.

 

[thesilentman]

And your wish is screwed up, and you cease to exist due to a divide my zero in the thread computer. Don't be sad.

I wish for someone to live the rest of my life without being looked at funny.

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Granted. Now everyone looks at you normally but talks to you like you're a baby.

I wish for more interesting games to play.

 

[thesilentman]

Granted. Hope you like the shit games out there!

I wish for a better way to fall asleep.