Ruin-A-Wish Foundation.

[jesse220]

Granted, but you must now go through life so drunk on beer that you can't walk straight or you'll be plagued with a never ending stream of unsolvable problems.

I wish I could cook delicious meals.

 

[Mullac]

Granted, they are delicious but also volatile.

I wish I could dance.

 

[jesse220]

Granted, your sweet dance moves cause your friends to be incredibly jealous and they no longer speak to you.

I wish my TV was bigger.

 

[Kitsune Hunter]

Granted, your TV is now the size of a city

I wish I could cook delicious food

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Granted but only others can eat it as it is poisonous to you exclusively.

I wish for more time in life.

 

[jesse220]

Granted, you have a hundred more years. Behind bars.


I wish I had super powers.

 

[EeveeElectro]

Granted, but it's only oxygen dependency.

I wish for a pretty dress.

 

[Morsomk_v1legacy]

I seriously had a hard time trying to figure out a respond that wasn't offensive, but I couldn't find one......so here we go.

Granted, but your fashion sense is still goddamn horrible.

I wish for forgiveness.

 

[username sucks]

Granted, all you need to do to atone for your sins is sacrifice your firstborn child.

I wish I could get payed for playing video games.

 

[MemLCol TBOT]

Granted but you get paid only if you finish bejewelled, tetris and
hexic

i wish for more magic cards

 

[jesse220]

Granted, you now have a thousand copies of Great Wall in place of your deck.

I wish for more wishes.

 

[TheDoctor455]

Granted, but now that's ALL you can wish for. Enjoy the wishing loop that only ends with your sad, pathetic, and completely pointless death!

I wish cats could talk.

 

[EeveeElectro]

Granted! but you know what cats are like... all they do is talk about themselves and constantly ask for food.

I wish I never had to dye my hair

 

[Morsomk_v1legacy]

Granted, you have no hair.

I wish for my copy of Pokemon Y

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Granted but I steal it.

I wish for a lottery win.

 

[Teoes]

Granted but you're also unable to turn down anyone who asks for money, so you quickly end up with nothing. Doesn't stop people asking you though.

I wish my lady could stop worrying about things.

 

[MemLCol TBOT]

she dies

i wish for a slice of cheese

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Granted but its from a spoiled goat.

I wish for a sandwich.

 

[MemLCol TBOT]

granted, its made with my cheese.

i wish for a copy of grand theft auto 5 for my xbox 360

 

[byte4554_v1legacy]

Granted, but it's an illegal copy, and your house is raided by local swat teams.

I wish for Black Mesa to receive the Xen update.