Self Harm and You

[The White Hunter]

I'll keep this short, SFW, and clean.

I have self harmed, usually in the form of cutting myself in various places that are easily concealed (legs, chest, sides, hips, thighs, things like that). The reason is usually for the brief, searing moment of clarity and calm it fels to feel the sting, burn, cut and drip of the wound over the roaring background of anxiety, self doubt and absolute, all consuming despair that comes with a heavy depressive episode.

Have you?

Why?

To what ends?

Do you currently? (Didn't for about a year, did 4 days ago, and about 30 minutes ago)

Edit: As a side note, what is your gender, sexual orientation, and your age, as it will be interesting to see the trend across ages and genders for this, as it seems to be stereotyped towards teenage girls.

I'm 22, male, bisexual

Do not answer this if you feel uncomfortable doing so

 

[Dark Knifer]

I've never done it myself as the feeling of pain didn't give me any kind of kick, clarity etc. It just makes me angry so I stayed clear even during my times of depression.

19, male, mostly straight.

 

[Elfgore]

Nope. I say this in the nicest way possible, but I fail to understand how self-harm can ever make you feel better. But then again, I've never been depressed or anything like that so I really have zero clue about how it feels.

18, male, straight.

 

[Frothy Gibblets]

.

 

[The White Hunter]

Nope. I say this in the nicest way possible, but I fail to understand how self-harm can ever make you feel better. But then again, I've never been depressed or anything like that so I really have zero clue about how it feels.

18, male, straight.

Failing to understand if you have never experienced it is perfectly understandable and not unpleasant in the least.

 

[The White Hunter]

Yeah a little. I did it as a physical manifestation of my own self loathing I guess. You could argue that whilst I don't use anything sharp anymore, my lifestyle is a continuation of this. Excessive smoking, drinking and an incredbly unhealthy diet that keeps me overweight as that is all I feel I am worth. I'd say the continuation of doing harmful things to your body, even if they take effect over a long period of time qualifies as self harm if that is the intent behind it.

26, male, straight.

I can see how that would be a form of self harm.

I personally exercise like fucking crazy to the point where movement aches because I simply cannot stand being fat and weak and never want to return tot he awful existence where I couldn't crush apples in my bare hands..

 

[Caiphus]

Afraid not, OP. I don't think I've ever seriously considered it either.

Sorry to hear that you may have fallen off the wagon again, so to speak. I don't think I can offer any sound advice, since I just haven't experienced that mindset. It's probably something that's rather difficult for the layman to comprehend if they haven't been in that situation themselves. So I hope that you can find someone to help you out, or just to listen, on this website or otherwise.

21, male, straight, since we're sharing.

 

[staika]

I've thought about it before when I was younger but never went through with it. I'm not a big fan of pain so I never did it. Though when I'm angry I sometimes just clench my fist so hard that if I had longer nails it would probably pierce the skin. But those moments are few and far between.

Male, 22 (in a little under two weeks) straight

 

[Imp_Emissary]

You were not joking. This is heavy.

I have not cut, but I have been tempted to, and I know a few friends who have, at least once. That said, I've done a few things that have harmed myself when I got mad, but nothing too bad.

If I didn't have things like games, TV, and friends to involve myself with to "escape", I very well may have gone through with it.

21, male, straight.

Let me know if ya ever need to vent, Skarkrow. All the other "bastards" at the league will listen too, of course.

 

[Barbas]

Never done that before, but I do sometimes wish for the peace and solitude of eternal slumber.

 

[The White Hunter]

Afraid not, OP. I don't think I've ever seriously considered it either.

Sorry to hear that you may have fallen off the wagon again OP, so to speak. I don't think I can offer any sound advice, since I just haven't experienced that mindset. It's probably something that's rather difficult for the layman to comprehend if they haven't been in that situation themselves. So I hope that you can find someone to help you out, or just to listen, on this website or otherwise.

21, male, straight, since we're sharing.

Your avatar changed and now I do not recognise you

Stuff is stuff and I'll deal with it as I go, this thread isn't a cry for help so much as an "I wonder how many other people deal with this crap?".

 

[The White Hunter]

You were not joking. This is heavy.

I have not cut, but I have been tempted to, and I know a few friends who have, at least once. That said, I've done a few things that have harmed myself when I got mad, but nothing too bad.

If I didn't have things like games, TV, and friends to involve myself with to "escape", I very well may have gone through with it.

21, male, straight.

Let me know if ya ever need to vent, Skarkrow. All the other "bastards" at the league will listen too, of course.

Thanks Imp, I do appreciate that you guys are there for me but I don't feel the need to bother you with it, since any attempt to advise generally goes in circles if I'm down and when I'm up there's nothing wrong.

I do attempt to use games and things to circumvent it but people aren't always available for a bit of simple multiplayer deathmatch or w/e to distract me from it.

 

[Caiphus]

Your avatar changed and now I do not recognise you

Stuff is stuff and I'll deal with it as I go, this thread isn't a cry for help so much as an "I wonder how many other people deal with this crap?".

Haha, I didn't realise that anyone recognised me.

Sure, I didn't think this thread was a cry for help. At least, that wasn't the main function. It sucks that you're feeling this way during what should be a happy time of year, so I'd totally understand if you were looking for hugs and guidance. Unfortunately, I can only probably offer that first one .

 

[xmbts]

I've never cut, I've smacked myself in the head before, probably harder than necessary, particularly bad episodes had some hair tearing.

Nowadays my anxiety attacks usually just leave me nearing tears and needing to remove myself from crowds more than anything.

The reason for the teenage girl stereotype is that in general boys tend to deal with emotional problems by lashing outwards, while girls direct it inwards. Certainly not the case for everybody but generally speaking that's how it tends to be.

And I'm a 23 year old bisexual lady. For the most part.

 

[SomeLameStuff]

Yeah, sure I have. Having both depression and 'Dissociative Identity Disorder' (I STILL don't like that term. What was wrong with Multiple Personality Disorder?) it was my way of keeping under control. Somewhat.

Ten years, eight attempts, three therapists, and a whole lot of pills later though, I'm pretty dang good now.

Male, 20, straight

 

[The White Hunter]

Your avatar changed and now I do not recognise you

Stuff is stuff and I'll deal with it as I go, this thread isn't a cry for help so much as an "I wonder how many other people deal with this crap?".

Haha, I didn't realise that anyone recognised me.

Sure, I didn't think this thread was a cry for help. At least, that wasn't the main function. It sucks that you're feeling this way during what should be a happy time of year, so I'd totally understand if you were looking for hugs and guidance. Unfortunately, I can only probably offer that first one .

I recognise you! Especially since I invited you the the League for that avatar xD (you should be more active in the league, we don't bite)

Yeah, I'm genuinely curious when I post threads like this as a cry for help generally falls on deaf ears and isn't worth the paper it's written on.

Thing is I've been perfectly happy most of it, with some massive highs and plummeting lows. Such is my life.

I would gladly accept the first one and the marginal amount it would help.

 

[The White Hunter]

Yeah I did, a couple of years ago. It was during my grade 10 year, and I can pretty much say that was my worst year of highschool, in spite of seeing The Gorillaz on their last show of the 'Plastic Beach' tour. On top of self-harm, I had one poorly thought out suicide attempt, and basically spent the end of school year, and most of summer in hospital, but that was over two separate occasions. The second of which was in the adolescent psych ward (I was 17 at the time), in Kelowna, which was really nice. They had Rock Band 3, and I played the shit out of that, and it was also the place where I discovered my now favorite band, Devo, with this little ditty:

Overall, it was a great learning experience and I'm now starting to wean myself off behavioural medicine, so all's good now.

And I'm a bi-sexual male, but my sexuality never factored into it.

I would self harm after seeing plastic beach knowing the good albums that had come before

Suicide crosses my mind frequently in these kinds of times but I lack the .44 necessary to fulfill that desire.

Good to hear you're getting better and that I have a bastard to vaguely relate to.

Edit: I'm not going to kill myself, vague effort at humour clearly fell flat.

 

[Crispee]

I self harmed once, I can't recall my exact state if mind, but I think it was a combination of anxiety, and self loathing because of said anxiety. I scratched my head repeatedly until I bled, but luckily it was my forehead and I have a big fringe so nobody noticed.

20, Male, Straight.

 

[Drummodino]

I've never self harmed. I dunno, I do suffer from random episodes of depression (kinda in the middle of one right now) but I've never had the urge to hurt myself over it. Having the support of a loving family helps I think, I would never want to do anything that would hurt them.

I'm 20, male and straight.

Suicide crosses my mind frequently in these kinds of times but I lack the .44 necessary to fulfill that desire.

Whenever I encounter someone who feels suicidal I always say this; suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Things will get better. Plus think about all the people who you would hurt by leaving them, it just doesn't seem fair to me.

If you (or anyone) ever need to chat about feeling down or anything feel free to shoot me a message. Always willing to listen.