Sexy Sex and You

COMaestro

Vae Victis!
May 24, 2010
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idon said:
Man it's depressing to read this thread and see how much sex most people here have had. I see some people complaining about how they've only had 2 or 3 partners in their life, I would love to be in their position...

Anyone can guess what's coming next, but I've never had sex, never even kissed someone romantically/sexually, 21 bloody years old. Obviously not by choice, I just had a rough childhood where I never really made friends and it went from there to where I am now. I'm not even a creepy/ugly dude, I'm just not comfortable in most social situations anymore, life just beat the fight out of me I guess.
If it's any consolation, I never had a girlfriend until I was 21, and that relationship was short lived. While there was some sexual contact there, I really didn't lose my virginity until I was 28. So while I know it can be totally depressing to be as old as you are without ever having a relationship, it can still happen in time. I've been there.
 

Theminimanx

Positively Insane
Mar 14, 2011
276
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Zero. No sex, no relations, no nothing. Not all that surprising considering I rarely leave my house, so whatever. I'm 18 for anyone curious.
 

Inglorious891

New member
Dec 17, 2011
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Same story here as others have told: kissless, dateless 19 year old virgin. I blame it due to me only leaving my house for work/school/neccessary stuff, as all of my friends are all 21+ and almost always go to bars where I can't legally enter, so I don't go out for social reasons at all. That and the fact that I lived and currently live in a place where there aren't a lot of people, so finding others with similar interests is extremely difficult, especially those who have interests in games outside of Assassians Creed/CoD/etc. as I've never ran into someone like that.
 

Kevlar Eater

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Sep 27, 2009
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I don't mind answering these. I've been asked questions significantly more awkward than these.

Do you think your number is too high, too low or completely meaningless?
Many would think, for my age, 0 would be too low of a number. I'm comfortable with that number.

Do you judge other people based on how many people they've had sex with or think there's a limit to the amount of sexual partners a person should have?
Depends. If they were simply one-nighters, I've no problem. If the other person has a large number of exes (whether they were in short- or long-term relationships), then I'm gonna question their fidelity. In a way, I do judge.

Do you perhaps think that sex should be reserved for two people who are in a relationship or do you skulk around dance floors and chip shops at four in the morning desperate to find a decent looking randomer to bring home for the night?
I hate nightclubs for the kind of people they attract, and the only people I've seen in fast food restaurants at stupid o'clock were stoners. But to seriously answer the question, I don't think sex should be limited to people in relationships. I don't care if people form the two-backed beast on a whim and a few well-said sentences.

If you've never had a sexual partner, is there a reason you don't want to or has the opportunity just not presented itself?
I've yet to have the opportunity present itself. Then again, in western society I'm expected to make the initial move and I'm an extremely introverted person; I don't think I could do that and not look creepy.

Including your age would also be helpful. I say helpful, it's not really helpful as this entire thread is stupid, it just provides a more complete picture.
25. Nothing wrong with stupid threads once in a while. Not every thread has to be super serious.
 

maninahat

New member
Nov 8, 2007
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I'm 26 and I've had two sexual partners, and five relationships over all.

I'd say the number is low because I tend to stay in the same relationship for years at a time and also spend a long time recovering from break ups. Two of those relationships were specifically with girls who didn't want sex. I've never had casual sex - too shy to have pulled it off (so to speak).
 

SonOfAnarchy91

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Sep 22, 2014
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I'm 23 and lost my virginity and the very young age of 14, Been on a Dryspell for 2 years after breaking up with my fiancee' after finding out she was cheating on me. Despite being a Sex Addict I've only been with 7 Women and 4 men. The number isn't really important but due to my high sex drive I'm constantly at it and get frustrated very easily when I don't cum quite often. I see a shrink to talk about it been given all kinds of meds but still have a "hunger" for sexual gratification.
 

xDarc

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Feb 19, 2009
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I'm 32 and I've been around. At one point I tried to count and came up with a list of around 70 girls names, there were 5 "Jenny"s. I also like to mess around with guys whenever I get the chance, which was often, so there must have been at least 50 of those, whose names I don't remember at all generally.

My first time was at 17 with a girl I met on ICQ and drove several hundred miles to go see for a weekend. Never saw her again. No romance, no lovey dovey crap- I'd never even had a girlfriend before that. This pretty much set the stage for lots of guilt-free no strings sex.

I met an odd punk rock couple who were musicians and hung around a lot of scene kids, myself I was always a plain t-shirt and jeans guy, but it didn't matter. They knew some crazy people and the count went up quick when I hung around them. 11 people jockeying for position on the only queen sized mattress in the room was one that sticks out in my memory. The girl punk used to tell all her girl friends about my prowess and she got me quite a few referrals. In a couple years hanging around those two I went from my first time to losing count.

It also helped to be a young man in the peak of the chat hook-up days; I remember once an older lady who had me hide in a closet when her husband came home. Later I had to squeeze through a window that could only open about 9 inches, then jump down from the roof. There was one very strange instance where a girl I met offline actually intended me for her terminally ill 17 year old sister. I didn't know this at first until she ditched me at a party and left me alone with the younger sister who suddenly made moves on me and I turned her down, very apologetically, because she was too young. She cried, ran out, and then her sister burst in screaming what the hell is wrong with me and I needed to leave.

I've had more than a few weird meet ups that went badly, but that was the one that stick out in my memory the most.

By the time I was 25 that's when I realized there were about 70 names I could write down on paper from memory. I also got herpes somewhere along the way. Figured it was time to slow down. I became part of a group of people who also have H and became kind of a boy toy for several of the older ladies there. Outside of the group, I didn't talk to normal girls I'd see out and about.

For the next 3-4 years I kind of withdrew from everything completely, had no friends, went to diners and read books in a corner by myself. Minded my own business. Once in a while a girl would get interested in me, but I'd scare her off in a month or so once she got to know more about me. Until about 3 years ago I met one that I couldn't scare away, no matter what she found out about me. So we've been together these past 3 years and it's been an adventure. Next year we're getting married. So I'm grateful.

Edit:

I was a little nervous that I would just be alone, I was ready to be ok with that but I'm glad I didn't end up that way. I don't know what a good number would be, but I wish I'd stopped before I got herpes. Oh well it's pretty superficial; at least it's not HIV. But see, I wasn't gonna stop. I'd become comfortable meeting total strangers and injecting myself into any situation if there was even a chance of getting laid- knowing full well I could just disappear after and never be seen again like I had so many times before. It was pretty damn addicting. I'd like to think I'd do things differently if I had to do it over again, but I'd probably end up in the same place. I'm ok with it.
 

wulf3n

New member
Mar 12, 2012
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Colour Scientist said:
If you've never had a sexual partner, is there a reason you don't want to or has the opportunity just not presented itself?
I think a quote from the movie Year One sums up the situation nicely.


Year One said:
Oh: I'm a virgin by choice.

Zed: Ha! Not *your* choice!
The notion of the opportunity not presenting itself is an interesting one, and can be decent safety blanket but the funny thing about opportunity is that it's always there but it's easy to miss out of fear.
 

grey_space

Magnetic Mutant
Apr 16, 2012
455
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38 years (yes I am ancient) I'd say...maybe 30-odd sexual partners? All women. I never kept count so that's a best guess. Committed monogamous relationships = 7 (though some of them weren't exactly as committed as I was it seems).

When I'm single I tend to be incredibly single and enjoy it so I've hard my share of one nighters.

I'm not a judge of others either, whatever floats your boat I say.
 

Redlin5_v1legacy

Better Red than Dead
Aug 5, 2009
48,837
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Ummmmmm..... Ummmm....

Well shit, I've lurked here in this thread too long to NOT post my own thoughts...



[sup][sup][sup][sup]Nobody will see how anxious and inadequate this topic makes me feel...[/sup][/sup][/sup][/sup]
[HEADING=1]<_<[/HEADING]

Fine.

I've had no sexual experiences whatsoever but I don't judge others on their sexuality or promiscuity provided its with people of legal age and have consented. There's probably no limit to how many partners one can have throughout their life and I would not seek to impose that on anyone. For myself, I would probably be shocked if I surpassed 15 partners by the time this mortal coil fails me.

Sex is a tough topic for me personally because I have a massive libido but I want to reserve my rigor for someone I want to share that primal pleasure with over a long period of time, rather than give in to my selfish desire to fuck a girl for the experience of sex alone. It's basically brain vs body for me and brain has been keeping this going for 22 sexless years. That's just my choice and the opportunity to satisfy both sides of my sexuality (emotional and physical) just hasn't arrived.

If you've never had a sexual partner, is there a reason you don't want to or has the opportunity just not presented itself?
Well, I guess the big thing is I'm kind of a traditionalist for this generation I've been born into. Lots of Christian upbringing and coming from a smaller community will do that to you, where frequent one night stands just don't happen without being the gossip of the month. Dodging the terrible choices of High School was tricky enough, especially when MY hormones were in overdrive. One could say they still are. >_>

So I want to have sex with a girl who doesn't only want to reciprocate that desire but is willing to consider me as a permanent fixture of her life in the years ahead. I want to have a family, I want to commit but at this point in my life I'd probably be a miserable failure as a father and I absolutely loathe condoms. Yes, you can work around this but my desire to be a good father in the future outweighs my need to screw around now.

Now add to this the fact that I'm probably still a little sore emotionally over my sexuality due to the events of my last major relationship. Suffice it to say I did not have sex with my ex but we talked about it constantly. I'm still untangling what I fear might be a part of what she wanted out of my sexuality and what I inherently want.

Vague but that's all I'm going to say about that.

So yeah. The anxiety of picking the right partner who I can see myself marrying, worrying about performance and the uncertainty of knowing if my own fetishes will ever be appropriate or if they'll be a factor leading to the loss of a great friend. That's what considering my own virginity makes me think about. Every time.

Also hello Colour. Now you know more about a Canadian who desperately "needs to get laid". The thing is, I could get "laid" where I'm at more easily than ever before in my life since I'm at university. I just don't want to begin with a girl who will consider me as a part of the university experience and not someone they actually could see themselves loving 'till death do us part'. At least I'm looking again. The fallout of the last relationship is over, I'm genuinely happy with who I am and the choices I made in the course of getting here.

>_>

Oh, sex is such a wondrous paradox. I'm also quite aware that I'm putting a lot of importance on my virginity but hey, that's my choice. Judge me for who I am if you must but I haven't been changed by anyone yet. The closest I ever got to breaking my resolve over this was when a VERY attractive girl at a party I was at two years ago pulled me away to give me a blowjob. She removed the buckle but I removed myself from the party.

This is a long way of writing "I want a wife."
 

Colour Scientist

Troll the Respawn, Jeremy!
Jul 15, 2009
4,722
0
0
Redlin5 said:
Ummmmmm..... Ummmm....

Well shit, I've lurked here in this thread too long to NOT post my own thoughts...



[sup][sup][sup][sup]Nobody will see how anxious and inadequate this topic makes me feel...[/sup][/sup][/sup][/sup]
[HEADING=1]<_<[/HEADING]

Fine.

I've had no sexual experiences whatsoever but I don't judge others on their sexuality or promiscuity provided its with people of legal age and have consented. There's probably no limit to how many partners one can have throughout their life and I would not seek to impose that on anyone. For myself, I would probably be shocked if I surpassed 15 partners by the time this mortal coil fails me.

Sex is a tough topic for me personally because I have a massive libido but I want to reserve my rigor for someone I want to share that primal pleasure with over a long period of time, rather than give in to my selfish desire to fuck a girl for the experience of sex alone. It's basically brain vs body for me and brain has been keeping this going for 22 sexless years. That's just my choice and the opportunity to satisfy both sides of my sexuality (emotional and physical) just hasn't arrived.

If you've never had a sexual partner, is there a reason you don't want to or has the opportunity just not presented itself?
Well, I guess the big thing is I'm kind of a traditionalist for this generation I've been born into. Lots of Christian upbringing and coming from a smaller community will do that to you, where frequent one night stands just don't happen without being the gossip of the month. Dodging the terrible choices of High School was tricky enough, especially when MY hormones were in overdrive. One could say they still are. >_>

So I want to have sex with a girl who doesn't only want to reciprocate that desire but is willing to consider me as a permanent fixture of her life in the years ahead. I want to have a family, I want to commit but at this point in my life I'd probably be a miserable failure as a father and I absolutely loathe condoms. Yes, you can work around this but my desire to be a good father in the future outweighs my need to screw around now.

Now add to this the fact that I'm probably still a little sore emotionally over my sexuality due to the events of my last major relationship. Suffice it to say I did not have sex with my ex but we talked about it constantly. I'm still untangling what I fear might be a part of what she wanted out of my sexuality and what I inherently want.

Vague but that's all I'm going to say about that.

So yeah. The anxiety of picking the right partner who I can see myself marrying, worrying about performance and the uncertainty of knowing if my own fetishes will ever be appropriate or if they'll be a factor leading to the loss of a great friend. That's what considering my own virginity makes me think about. Every time.

Also hello Colour. Now you know more about a Canadian who desperately "needs to get laid". The thing is, I could get "laid" where I'm at more easily than ever before in my life since I'm at university. I just don't want to begin with a girl who will consider me as a part of the university experience and not someone they actually could see themselves loving 'till death do us part'. At least I'm looking again. The fallout of the last relationship is over, I'm genuinely happy with who I am and the choices I made in the course of getting here.

>_>

Oh, sex is such a wondrous paradox. I'm also quite aware that I'm putting a lot of importance on my virginity but hey, that's my choice. Judge me for who I am if you must but I haven't been changed by anyone yet. The closest I ever got to breaking my resolve over this was when a VERY attractive girl at a party I was at two years ago pulled me away to give me a blowjob. She removed the buckle but I removed myself from the party.

This is a long way of writing "I want a wife."
That seems like such a bizarre attitude to me.

I admire your resolve, I guess I just don't understand the "saving yourself" attitude, especially when it's not motivated exclusively by religious beliefs. Obviously, there's nothing wrong with it, it's just very different from my own worldview and I have difficulty wrapping my head around it. Particularly wanting a wife so badly at such a young age.

Maybe I'm just immature but I can't see myself getting married for quite a while. :3

Also, how do you know you hate condoms? :p

I say this as someone who also hates them!
 

Colour Scientist

Troll the Respawn, Jeremy!
Jul 15, 2009
4,722
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0
Spot1990 said:
8. Don't really think it's too high or too low. I lost my virginity admittedly a bit late. I was 21. I am now 24.

think there's a limit to the amount of sexual partners a person should have?
Like at once? Because purely from a stand point of don't hurt yourself I reckon like having sex with a few dozen people at once would be tricky.

Do you perhaps think that sex should be reserved for two people who are in a relationship or do you skulk around dance floors and chip shops at four in the morning desperate to find a decent looking randomer to bring home for the night?
I want to be able to cast judgement at the chip shops line but I once pulled at a bus stop at four in the morning so I can't really get up on that particular high horse. Not a fan of the words "skulk" and "desperate", makes it all sound so tawdry.
24?

Huh, for some reason I thought you were a lot older than me.

Well, I figure if someone tries to pick me up while I'm shoving garlic cheese chips into my face they must be a little desperate. XD
 

Elidibus

New member
Apr 15, 2011
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Colour Scientist said:
So, this is a thread about the number of sexual partners you've had, if any.

Do you think your number is too high, too low or completely meaningless? Do you judge other people based on how many people they've had sex with or think there's a limit to the amount of sexual partners a person should have?

Do you perhaps think that sex should be reserved for two people who are in a relationship or do you skulk around dance floors and chip shops at four in the morning desperate to find a decent looking randomer to bring home for the night?

If you've never had a sexual partner, is there a reason you don't want to or has the opportunity just not presented itself?

Including your age would also be helpful. I say helpful, it's not really helpful as this entire thread is stupid, it just provides a more complete picture.
I'm 32 years old. One sexual partner. Lost my virginity at 28 the day I got married. Same thing for her, but she was two years older.

I think the number of sexual partners a person has is meaningless. I really don't care how many partners someone had, as sex is something different in today's society versus 50 or 100 years ago. Thanks to medical science, women are allowed to have sex for fun the same ways guys are. Of course, a long time ago, thinking like this was just crazy. Weird world we used to live in. But I don't care, honestly. If that's how you want to have fun, do it. Just be safe and if you get a disease, stop.

My reason for waiting until I was married at the age of 28, even though that meant turning down a half dozen girls over the years? Well, that question has many answers. All of these little things sort of added up to a 100% abstinence in my head. In no particular order, this is why I decided to wait.

1. I didn't want children. My luck is horrible. And a 99% chance of not getting someone pregnant wasn't good enough for me. To my knowledge, the only 100 percent way not to get someone pregnant is not to have sex.
2. Backing up number one, of the six close female friends I had, five of them were using birth control and had children anyway.
3. The town I lived in had a 63% STD infection rate. I would often see the health department van parked around town, giving free screenings. I hate playing with fire.
4. I was a nurse for six months. Ever see an STD test from back around the the year 2000? Do. Not. Want.
5. I also worked in the third and fifth floor of the hospital. Those were considered the rooms where patients go to die. Ever seen an AIDS patient dying? No fun at all. And I had all this medical knowledge of other STDs that were just as bad.
6. I saw everyone around me having fun having sex and stuff. And then hear people talking like "Yea, you can do this and this to spice up the night you get married, even though you've already slept with him or her." That didn't seem too...romantic to me. So I thought, what would it be like to wait and have sex with the woman I loved most out of all the other women I met? For the record, awesome doesn't begin to describe it.
7. Drama. Drama. Drama. Nearly all the fights both my guy friends and girl friends got into were over sex. I had a job, was an aspiring writer, and had tons of video games to play. Ain't nobody got time for that!

I guess that's it, really. When a person decides to have sex should be no other person's opinion, and a person shouldn't be thought less going in either direction. Sex has evolved into just one of those things people do together, in my opinion, and no one should feel forced to do something they don't want to do, nor should they be criticized for doing something they find fun and enjoyable, as long as they are safe.

P.S it's also been my experience that a lot of people respected my decision when I told them. I honestly don't think I can come up with a point where someone made fun of me, especially when sexual partners are so easy to find. I mean, come on. I'm an honest to goodness nerd in every way imaginable, down to being skinny with glasses and good with computers. And I actually had to turn down several women. It can't be that hard, can it? :)
 

SuperSuperSuperGuy

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Jun 19, 2010
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I'm 19 years old. I lost my virginity at age null. The number of sexual partners I've had is 0. I've touched a (singular) girl's boobs before. A close friend offered because we were both curious, and it wasn't sexual so much as it was an experiment. She's asexual, so there wasn't even a chance of it being sexual, but she was curious as to what it would be like.

Other than that, I've never even held hands with a girl before. I'm only 19, of course, and I'm not really in a rush to have sex with someone, per se. I do get lonely every so often, in an affectionate rather than explicitly sexual way, so while I would like to have someone to cuddle with every now and again, I don't necessarily need sexual contact. Even if I did, I wouldn't get any. I don't have the confidence to meet girls. I don't have interests that are conducive to meeting girls. I'm disturbingly enthusiastic and obsessive about the things I'm interested in. I have strange needs, wants and mannerisms. I'm scrawny, blemished, and I have long, curly hair, that I normally tie up into a ponytail. I have anxiety problems and (as you can probably tell) self-esteem issues. I'm not exactly the most attractive person ever, y'know?

Besides, girls that I find attractive are few and far between in reality. You might say that my standards are too high, but I can't see myself dating someone that I can't look in the eyes, y'know? Real people look strangely uncanny to me, but there have been a couple exceptions. Neither of them liked me in return, and I'm completely certain that the second thought I was a creep. ;-;