Smacking Your Child.

[pearcinator]

As a teacher I can tell you that some kids just need a smack.

Smacking never hurt anyone and it lets the child know that they did the wrong thing. I don't think the cane is necessary but a slap on the bum doesn't do any damage. At school, kids hit each other way worse than a little smack. Some kids get away with too much nowadays and have lost the ability to respect others.

I don't exactly where you are from but as a teacher, do you think it's more harder to punish unruly kids today compared to, lets say, 10 years ago due to parents who will defend their child no matter what? Or do you think it's still the same. Once again I do not know where you are based and how long you have been a teacher before. I'm mostly thinking of it as a UK prospective.

PS. Please do not grade my grammar. It's bad I know lol

Well I am still new to teaching. Only graduated about 2 years ago but yes, I do believe that it's harder to punish kids today. As a male teacher I have to be extra careful where I touch a child as someone might think I'm some paedophile or some bullshit. At most, I can restrain a violent student by holding his or her arms by their side. 99% of the time though I just yell at them if they do the wrong thing but in some cases verbal discipline does not work at all.

How do children learn best? When they get a physical reaction from doing something. e.g. toddler tries to touch a fire, gets mild burn and knows not to do that again. Same thing with a smack! Child does something wrong, parents give them a (harmless) smack on the backside, child knows they did something wrong and won't likely do it again. I'll just finish it off with saying that I have no sympathy for children that hurt themselves because they did something stupid. I see it as a learning experience. The best ones are when you warn the student that they might hurt themselves and they continue to do it anyway (and hurt themselves). I almost want to say "I told you so!" but I have to remain professional and make sure the child isn't really injured.

 

[Leon Royce]

If you have to hit others to get them to respect you or to get them to follow the rules you put in place then you are probably not worth respecting or following.

Only brutes hit children.

If you speak to children with respect, and explain things to them like you would to an adult, you would be amazed at the results you can get. If your line of reasoning is clear and consistent, you will have no trouble. Most adults are terrified of this for multiple reasons:

- Some children are wiser than the adults around them (rare but does happen). Many adults are imbeciles their entire lives and don't want to look foolish in front of children. This is why many people preach the "you shouldn't talk back to an adult" BS. Of course you should talk back to an adult if s/he's wrong.

- Many adults have never taken the time to properly reflect on subjects of morality and discipline, and lead undisciplined lives themselves. Most have minds filled with cognitive dissonance, and they apply double standards all around them.

- Many adults see children not as human beings, but as semi-humans on probation waiting for their full human status.

- Many adults are lazy and like to take shortcuts. If someone is smaller than you, get their cooperation through coercion and threats. That's easier.

- Many adults are scared, hysterical or have control issues and are worried their children will not grow into a normal adult with being pushed and forced from every angle.

 

[Worgen]

Really all hitting a kid does is make you feel better. Because who doesn't want to hit a kid?

I've always been in the "shoot 'em or run the fuck away" camp myself. Absolutely terrified of kids, to the point I start thinking about looking for a new place to shop when I see one.

I could've been a REALLY fucking annoying kid, but you learn when you're held down for an hour that you probably shouldn't be acting that way, gets in the way of your own fun. So yeah, I'm all for smacking a kid, I'm all for smacking an adult when they're being pricks as well. Gets 'em ready for when the schoolyard comes into play too(which it will, for everyone at some point there was that one asshole that wouldn't leave you alone).

I mean, what is the alternative, constantly negotiate with a screaming brat? Letting them get their way every time? Allow them to cry themselves out? Sorry, but if they're going to cry, I'm either going to help them cut peppers without gloves and not tell them to rinse their hands, or do something for them to realize that doing that for no good reason is a detriment to them in some form. Whether that's pulling their ears, hitting their butts with a light cutting board, or just tying them to their beds and telling them they'd better get acquainted with their imaginations, because I'm not going to be talking to them while I sit in the corner for an hour with earplugs in.

Edit: reading this again, it wasn't clear that I was joking on most of this, but my basic feelings I think are plain.

Hitting will have an effect once or twice, maybe. But more than that and your just showing the kid the limit and teaching them that its not only alright to hit those smaller than them, but feels good too. Still though, even "having" to do it once means somethings gone wrong, you've already fucked something up.

let me tell you if you do the first spanking right the threat of receiving another is more then enough to keep you in line. Now I don't support abusing your child that's wrong but smacking a child and saying "No!" to them is not the same thing neither is spanking your child. A good parent is both loved and feared by their child.

That sounds like a fucked up upbringing.

 

[ecoho]

Really all hitting a kid does is make you feel better. Because who doesn't want to hit a kid?

I've always been in the "shoot 'em or run the fuck away" camp myself. Absolutely terrified of kids, to the point I start thinking about looking for a new place to shop when I see one.

I could've been a REALLY fucking annoying kid, but you learn when you're held down for an hour that you probably shouldn't be acting that way, gets in the way of your own fun. So yeah, I'm all for smacking a kid, I'm all for smacking an adult when they're being pricks as well. Gets 'em ready for when the schoolyard comes into play too(which it will, for everyone at some point there was that one asshole that wouldn't leave you alone).

I mean, what is the alternative, constantly negotiate with a screaming brat? Letting them get their way every time? Allow them to cry themselves out? Sorry, but if they're going to cry, I'm either going to help them cut peppers without gloves and not tell them to rinse their hands, or do something for them to realize that doing that for no good reason is a detriment to them in some form. Whether that's pulling their ears, hitting their butts with a light cutting board, or just tying them to their beds and telling them they'd better get acquainted with their imaginations, because I'm not going to be talking to them while I sit in the corner for an hour with earplugs in.

Edit: reading this again, it wasn't clear that I was joking on most of this, but my basic feelings I think are plain.

Hitting will have an effect once or twice, maybe. But more than that and your just showing the kid the limit and teaching them that its not only alright to hit those smaller than them, but feels good too. Still though, even "having" to do it once means somethings gone wrong, you've already fucked something up.

let me tell you if you do the first spanking right the threat of receiving another is more then enough to keep you in line. Now I don't support abusing your child that's wrong but smacking a child and saying "No!" to them is not the same thing neither is spanking your child. A good parent is both loved and feared by their child.

That sounds like a fucked up upbringing.

nope pretty nice actually, never got into fights, I prefer to negotiate problems rather then defaulting to force, and I abhor bullies. I don't know how old you are but if you look at parents who were baby boomers their children tend to be pretty well adjusted and civil, were as those who are younger tend to have children who are often in trouble all the time.

 

[Olas]

Only if the child is currently in the immediate process of doing something terrible and physically hitting them is the only available means of preventing it.

In other words... no. There are lots of ways to discipline bad behavior that aren't traumatic and anxiety inducing, and don't teach the child that violence is acceptable.

If your an adult who doesn't mind hitting a child, there's something wrong with you.

 

[Worgen]

Really all hitting a kid does is make you feel better. Because who doesn't want to hit a kid?

I've always been in the "shoot 'em or run the fuck away" camp myself. Absolutely terrified of kids, to the point I start thinking about looking for a new place to shop when I see one.

I could've been a REALLY fucking annoying kid, but you learn when you're held down for an hour that you probably shouldn't be acting that way, gets in the way of your own fun. So yeah, I'm all for smacking a kid, I'm all for smacking an adult when they're being pricks as well. Gets 'em ready for when the schoolyard comes into play too(which it will, for everyone at some point there was that one asshole that wouldn't leave you alone).

I mean, what is the alternative, constantly negotiate with a screaming brat? Letting them get their way every time? Allow them to cry themselves out? Sorry, but if they're going to cry, I'm either going to help them cut peppers without gloves and not tell them to rinse their hands, or do something for them to realize that doing that for no good reason is a detriment to them in some form. Whether that's pulling their ears, hitting their butts with a light cutting board, or just tying them to their beds and telling them they'd better get acquainted with their imaginations, because I'm not going to be talking to them while I sit in the corner for an hour with earplugs in.

Edit: reading this again, it wasn't clear that I was joking on most of this, but my basic feelings I think are plain.

Hitting will have an effect once or twice, maybe. But more than that and your just showing the kid the limit and teaching them that its not only alright to hit those smaller than them, but feels good too. Still though, even "having" to do it once means somethings gone wrong, you've already fucked something up.

let me tell you if you do the first spanking right the threat of receiving another is more then enough to keep you in line. Now I don't support abusing your child that's wrong but smacking a child and saying "No!" to them is not the same thing neither is spanking your child. A good parent is both loved and feared by their child.

That sounds like a fucked up upbringing.

nope pretty nice actually, never got into fights, I prefer to negotiate problems rather then defaulting to force, and I abhor bullies. I don't know how old you are but if you look at parents who were baby boomers their children tend to be pretty well adjusted and civil, were as those who are younger tend to have children who are often in trouble all the time.

That's a fallacy, youth crime actually spiked in the 70s and 80s, about when kids from the tail end of the baby boomers would be around. Not to mention the fact that I doubt you will find many people in prison who lament not fearing their parents enough or being there from lack of being hit.

 

[ecoho]

Really all hitting a kid does is make you feel better. Because who doesn't want to hit a kid?

I've always been in the "shoot 'em or run the fuck away" camp myself. Absolutely terrified of kids, to the point I start thinking about looking for a new place to shop when I see one.

I could've been a REALLY fucking annoying kid, but you learn when you're held down for an hour that you probably shouldn't be acting that way, gets in the way of your own fun. So yeah, I'm all for smacking a kid, I'm all for smacking an adult when they're being pricks as well. Gets 'em ready for when the schoolyard comes into play too(which it will, for everyone at some point there was that one asshole that wouldn't leave you alone).

I mean, what is the alternative, constantly negotiate with a screaming brat? Letting them get their way every time? Allow them to cry themselves out? Sorry, but if they're going to cry, I'm either going to help them cut peppers without gloves and not tell them to rinse their hands, or do something for them to realize that doing that for no good reason is a detriment to them in some form. Whether that's pulling their ears, hitting their butts with a light cutting board, or just tying them to their beds and telling them they'd better get acquainted with their imaginations, because I'm not going to be talking to them while I sit in the corner for an hour with earplugs in.

Edit: reading this again, it wasn't clear that I was joking on most of this, but my basic feelings I think are plain.

Hitting will have an effect once or twice, maybe. But more than that and your just showing the kid the limit and teaching them that its not only alright to hit those smaller than them, but feels good too. Still though, even "having" to do it once means somethings gone wrong, you've already fucked something up.

let me tell you if you do the first spanking right the threat of receiving another is more then enough to keep you in line. Now I don't support abusing your child that's wrong but smacking a child and saying "No!" to them is not the same thing neither is spanking your child. A good parent is both loved and feared by their child.

That sounds like a fucked up upbringing.

nope pretty nice actually, never got into fights, I prefer to negotiate problems rather then defaulting to force, and I abhor bullies. I don't know how old you are but if you look at parents who were baby boomers their children tend to be pretty well adjusted and civil, were as those who are younger tend to have children who are often in trouble all the time.

That's a fallacy, youth crime actually spiked in the 70s and 80s, about when kids from the tail end of the baby boomers would be around. Not to mention the fact that I doubt you will find many people in prison who lament not fearing their parents enough or being there from lack of being hit.

Correlation does not imply causation. Every kid ive met who parents were like mine, as in children of baby boomers, has one thing in common none of them got in trouble till well into their 20s. By that I mean your standard fighting ticket, speeding ticket, and fender bender. my neighbor's kids on the other hand are raised in the new way of no real consequences go sit in the "naughty chair" kind of punishments, and low and behold one just got busted selling drugs, and her youngest just got expelled for attacking a younger girl. now their middle child is actually not that bad got straight A's and is now in college studying to be a doctor, so I guess the new way works on 1 out of 3.

(the ages of the 3 kids are as follows 25 the oldest,22 the middle child and the last one is only 14 all three boys.)

 

[Nailzzz]

I am of the opinion that there should be one point when the child does something terrible anytime between the ages of 5-12, where the parent should beat that kid to the point where it considers that their parent may actually kill them. Just once. You will never have to do it again. I feel that it is important that the child understands that without rules, they are not safe and that it is in the child's best interest to uphold them itself. They need to understand that their actions have consequences that they themselves may suffer from, including in regards to their interactions with parents. Physical pain isn't the point. Fear of consequences is the point.

Beyond that you should generally avoid beating your kids.

 

[ecoho]

Really all hitting a kid does is make you feel better. Because who doesn't want to hit a kid?

I've always been in the "shoot 'em or run the fuck away" camp myself. Absolutely terrified of kids, to the point I start thinking about looking for a new place to shop when I see one.

I could've been a REALLY fucking annoying kid, but you learn when you're held down for an hour that you probably shouldn't be acting that way, gets in the way of your own fun. So yeah, I'm all for smacking a kid, I'm all for smacking an adult when they're being pricks as well. Gets 'em ready for when the schoolyard comes into play too(which it will, for everyone at some point there was that one asshole that wouldn't leave you alone).

I mean, what is the alternative, constantly negotiate with a screaming brat? Letting them get their way every time? Allow them to cry themselves out? Sorry, but if they're going to cry, I'm either going to help them cut peppers without gloves and not tell them to rinse their hands, or do something for them to realize that doing that for no good reason is a detriment to them in some form. Whether that's pulling their ears, hitting their butts with a light cutting board, or just tying them to their beds and telling them they'd better get acquainted with their imaginations, because I'm not going to be talking to them while I sit in the corner for an hour with earplugs in.

Edit: reading this again, it wasn't clear that I was joking on most of this, but my basic feelings I think are plain.

Hitting will have an effect once or twice, maybe. But more than that and your just showing the kid the limit and teaching them that its not only alright to hit those smaller than them, but feels good too. Still though, even "having" to do it once means somethings gone wrong, you've already fucked something up.

let me tell you if you do the first spanking right the threat of receiving another is more then enough to keep you in line. Now I don't support abusing your child that's wrong but smacking a child and saying "No!" to them is not the same thing neither is spanking your child. A good parent is both loved and feared by their child.

That sounds like a fucked up upbringing.

nope pretty nice actually, never got into fights, I prefer to negotiate problems rather then defaulting to force, and I abhor bullies. I don't know how old you are but if you look at parents who were baby boomers their children tend to be pretty well adjusted and civil, were as those who are younger tend to have children who are often in trouble all the time.

That's a fallacy, youth crime actually spiked in the 70s and 80s, about when kids from the tail end of the baby boomers would be around. Not to mention the fact that I doubt you will find many people in prison who lament not fearing their parents enough or being there from lack of being hit.

Correlation does not imply causation. Every kid ive met who parents were like mine, as in children of baby boomers, has one thing in common none of them got in trouble till well into their 20s. SNIP

Not agreeing or disagreeing with your actual point, but there is no way you can say something like "Correlation does not imply causation." and then launch into a litany of your personal anecdotes as though that meant anything.

lol I wasn't sure if what I posted in itself was correlation as it is plainly what ive seen with my own eyes. if its is then im as bad as worgen and I apologize.

 

[Michel Henzel]

Nothing wrong with a correcting smack imo, sometimes it's necessary.

 

[Worgen]

Really all hitting a kid does is make you feel better. Because who doesn't want to hit a kid?

I've always been in the "shoot 'em or run the fuck away" camp myself. Absolutely terrified of kids, to the point I start thinking about looking for a new place to shop when I see one.

I could've been a REALLY fucking annoying kid, but you learn when you're held down for an hour that you probably shouldn't be acting that way, gets in the way of your own fun. So yeah, I'm all for smacking a kid, I'm all for smacking an adult when they're being pricks as well. Gets 'em ready for when the schoolyard comes into play too(which it will, for everyone at some point there was that one asshole that wouldn't leave you alone).

I mean, what is the alternative, constantly negotiate with a screaming brat? Letting them get their way every time? Allow them to cry themselves out? Sorry, but if they're going to cry, I'm either going to help them cut peppers without gloves and not tell them to rinse their hands, or do something for them to realize that doing that for no good reason is a detriment to them in some form. Whether that's pulling their ears, hitting their butts with a light cutting board, or just tying them to their beds and telling them they'd better get acquainted with their imaginations, because I'm not going to be talking to them while I sit in the corner for an hour with earplugs in.

Edit: reading this again, it wasn't clear that I was joking on most of this, but my basic feelings I think are plain.

Hitting will have an effect once or twice, maybe. But more than that and your just showing the kid the limit and teaching them that its not only alright to hit those smaller than them, but feels good too. Still though, even "having" to do it once means somethings gone wrong, you've already fucked something up.

let me tell you if you do the first spanking right the threat of receiving another is more then enough to keep you in line. Now I don't support abusing your child that's wrong but smacking a child and saying "No!" to them is not the same thing neither is spanking your child. A good parent is both loved and feared by their child.

That sounds like a fucked up upbringing.

nope pretty nice actually, never got into fights, I prefer to negotiate problems rather then defaulting to force, and I abhor bullies. I don't know how old you are but if you look at parents who were baby boomers their children tend to be pretty well adjusted and civil, were as those who are younger tend to have children who are often in trouble all the time.

That's a fallacy, youth crime actually spiked in the 70s and 80s, about when kids from the tail end of the baby boomers would be around. Not to mention the fact that I doubt you will find many people in prison who lament not fearing their parents enough or being there from lack of being hit.

Correlation does not imply causation. Every kid ive met who parents were like mine, as in children of baby boomers, has one thing in common none of them got in trouble till well into their 20s. By that I mean your standard fighting ticket, speeding ticket, and fender bender. my neighbor's kids on the other hand are raised in the new way of no real consequences go sit in the "naughty chair" kind of punishments, and low and behold one just got busted selling drugs, and her youngest just got expelled for attacking a younger girl. now their middle child is actually not that bad got straight A's and is now in college studying to be a doctor, so I guess the new way works on 1 out of 3.

(the ages of the 3 kids are as follows 25 the oldest,22 the middle child and the last one is only 14 all three boys.)

You do realize you just pretty much said your point means nothing, right?

Anyway, you also mentioned no real consequences parenting, that doesn't mean anything on its own. It sounds like parenting by neglect, which doesn't work.

 

[Cowabungaa]

Not only is there no scientific pedagogic evidence that spanking works, there is evidence [http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3768154/] that it doesn't work and in fact poses a developmental risk you're taking without any real benefit.

So no, I wouldn't hit my child. Why would I? Doing so in face of evidence to the contrary would be ignorant, irrational, immoral and uncivilized.

let me tell you if you do the first spanking right the threat of receiving another is more then enough to keep you in line. Now I don't support abusing your child that's wrong but smacking a child and saying "No!" to them is not the same thing neither is spanking your child. A good parent is both loved and feared by their child.

What? A good parent is feared?! Where'd you get that from? Again, we see a lack of evidence that it works better than other techniques in the long run and an increase of evidence that it poses a developmental risk. As the title of that little meta-study said; we now know enough to stop hitting our children.

 

[Redryhno]

Not only is there no scientific pedagogic evidence that spanking works, there is evidence [http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3768154/] that it doesn't work and in fact poses a developmental risk you're taking without any real benefit.

So no, I wouldn't hit my child. Why would I? Doing so in face of evidence to the contrary would be ignorant, irrational, immoral and uncivilized.

let me tell you if you do the first spanking right the threat of receiving another is more then enough to keep you in line. Now I don't support abusing your child that's wrong but smacking a child and saying "No!" to them is not the same thing neither is spanking your child. A good parent is both loved and feared by their child.

What? A good parent is feared?! Where'd you get that from? Again, we see a lack of evidence that it works better than other techniques in the long run and an increase of evidence that it poses a developmental risk. As the title of that little meta-study said; we now know enough to stop hitting our children.

As an example, how many times did your parent(s) call you by first, middle, and last name? And exactly what did you feel when they said that? Because prickly fuzzy wonderfulness wasn't one of them for me or anyone I know.

 

[KissingSunlight]

It does seem like we are living in a time where it's a crime to hold anybody accountable for their actions. Especially when it comes to parents disciplining their children. I read an article recently where some states are considering laws to punish parents who publicly shame their children. The link is here, but it's behind a paywall. http://time.com/3935308/when-parents-publicly-shame-their-kids/

Physical punishment for children is a more nuance position that I want to get into right now. Appropriate use of spanking is alright. However, if you physically hit your children out of personal frustration. That is abuse. I'll go into more details later on. I just wanted to share that article and wonder if there is anything at all that parents can do to discipline their children without somebody trying to make it illegal?