zelda2fanboy said:
In more ways than we'd like to believe, our relationships are determined by the other person. You two might be the "other person" but guys like me and the OP are not the other person. Someone could enter into our lives and make it a million million times better, but we can't make them want to, no matter what we do. It doesn't matter how much we want it, how we act, what we say, or how we feel. It's up to them. You can't make someone like you.
No! Bad fanboy!
Girlfriends are not fairy god mothers, no matter how much you wish they were. They don't work miracles, and they don't fix your problems. In the same way that Bill Gates will not, tomorrow, buy you a jetpack and your own army of robot ninjas, no girl will ever come into your life and fix you. I understand the longing, I really do... I weep to write this, but I know it's true.
What they do, if they're good ones, is provide you with some pleasant company, point out the wonderful things in you, and allow you to shine. They comfort, and they amuse, and they support. What they CAN do, but SHOULDN'T, is give you a reason for living. That's a trap. If you start thinking about them like that, then when they leave (and sadly, most do. The VAST majority of relationships do not endure, and people tend to go through several before finding happiness) they take that reason to live with them. Leaving you a broken, shattered husk for however long it takes to recover. And the more you base your life around them and them alone, the harder it will be to get back, because all your life reminds you of them and the emptiness that is now that they are gone. It BURNS. Trust me, I know... I take a while to fall in love, and haven't done so but a handful of times, but when I fall I fall HARD. Harder than I should. Depression medication and flunking out of school hard, at times.
So, my point isn't that girls will be falling all over you if you make yourself a whole, complete person with interesting stuff you're doing on your own. That does tend to happen, but my point is more important than that... when you become that guy (and trust me, you can), you don't NEED a girlfriend. You'll finally be happy (well, more so than otherwise) and the other then becomes more a welcome addition to your life than the definition, the soul of it. No matter how close you get to her, there will still be that spark of you, those friends that you go bowling with, your incredible talent at drawing green-clad lads with swords, your fiercly defended moral compass.
And if all turns sour, it is that spark that will save your life. It is that light of your own wholeness that will, eventually, lead you out of despair and back into the bright gray of mere loneliness.
Girls aren't the answer. Neither are boys. They're human, just like you, and if you start treating them like the solution they will rapidly become the next problem.
Oh, and no. You can't make someone like you. You can ask if they do, though, and if that fails? You can write them off, because if they're not willing to give you a shot then there's someone else, someone better. Just be sure you're who you need to be before she gets there.