If you aren't bothered by it then don't bother asking her about it. Rather simple but it seems that you are bothered by it since you bothered to post this question.
So, my girlfriend is in porn and I don't know what to do.
- Thread starter Panzer_God
- Start date
Read up on the Lateran Treaty - The creation of the Vatican City.Panzer_God said:
They took their laws from those of 1929 Italy, when the age of consent was 12. They never bothered to change it.
Captcha: Tastes like chicken.
You are sick, Captcha.
Honestly? I have to say that if you're asking here, it means you care in some capacity. Most people, men or women, would care in some capacity in a situation like this.
The real question, and one I think you need to address with yourself before you talk to her, or IF you talk to her, is 'how do I feel about this?' or 'in what way do I care?'
Do you care because it might mean she's slept with other people and that makes you uncomfortable?
Do you care because it might mean that she's had 'better' men than you and you may never be able to live up to heightened expectations?
Do you care because other people have seen this and....well, you get the idea....and the notion of other people seeing her and whatnot bothers you?
Do you care because she wasn't up-front and honest with you about it?
Do you care because you're just curious and interested about what it was like in the industry if it really was her?
I think you get the idea. Talking or not, the first step is to decide how you genuinely feel. If you don't care? Brush it off and walk on. If you do? decide why and factor that in to your decision on addressing it with her or not.
The real question, and one I think you need to address with yourself before you talk to her, or IF you talk to her, is 'how do I feel about this?' or 'in what way do I care?'
Do you care because it might mean she's slept with other people and that makes you uncomfortable?
Do you care because it might mean that she's had 'better' men than you and you may never be able to live up to heightened expectations?
Do you care because other people have seen this and....well, you get the idea....and the notion of other people seeing her and whatnot bothers you?
Do you care because she wasn't up-front and honest with you about it?
Do you care because you're just curious and interested about what it was like in the industry if it really was her?
I think you get the idea. Talking or not, the first step is to decide how you genuinely feel. If you don't care? Brush it off and walk on. If you do? decide why and factor that in to your decision on addressing it with her or not.
I would be way too curious to not ask about somethinhg like that but I would definatly be careful about how I do it.
If I were you I would be very delicate about how you bring this up maybe a nice dinner out and then maybe over the dessert BAM! lay it on her and see how things turn out.Just remember to ba tactful about it and you should be alright.
If I were you I would be very delicate about how you bring this up maybe a nice dinner out and then maybe over the dessert BAM! lay it on her and see how things turn out.Just remember to ba tactful about it and you should be alright.
Yeah, men (and women) still have needs, you know. Just because you get a girlfriend doesn't mean you automatically don't ever feel the desire to jack off again. Sometimes people like some alone time with themselves, or the relationship you're in might not be full-on banging 24/7.Sexy Devil said:
Heh, I understand that feeling, but frankly? Any woman who's ever had partners before you, that's gonna be a possibility. Granted being in porn the possibility is definitely higher, but that concern is something I think every guy runs into and I think every guy learns to live with in his own way.Panzer_God said:
Personally I dealt with it by deciding that I may not be as 'good' as whoever she's had before, but just because I might not have top-notch equipment doesn't mean I can't get the job done just as well as anyone; and whatever other tools I had to adopt to meet up to that were the price of admission. A price I was willing to pay. If all you have and know how to use is a hammer, no matter how big said hammer is, all you'll ever be able to do is pound nails. As long as your hammer isn't the only tool in your bag that you use, I'm pretty sure it's not a problem.
Not to mention the fact that from the start it's not apples-to-apples anyway. It's the porn industry. You're getting paid to bonk someone else or let them bonk you. It's a business arrangement, and sure, most of the time the two of you have a good time and everyone leaves with a smile on their face. It's physically intimate, but I'd question how emotionally intimate it is. If it is at all.
I'm taking a shot in the dark here, as I really don't know any porn-stars, but I'd imagine that if she WAS in porn, especially if she had done it more than once or twice or she'd actually done it long-term, emotional intimacy is probably the most important thing to her. Sure it's all fun and games, but again, it's a business-deal. Everyone's friends or at least likes each other, but it's unlikely that there's any love or real emotion besides lust involved, and personally I think that can make a big difference, and in the end you'll always come out on top (no pun intended) over anyone else she might have had in her 'on-screen' time.
Yeah, either way it's no fun to focus on the negatives. I'm a over-weight guy with stupid hair who still managed to land a pornstar for a girlfriend, concerns are invalid. Hell, I should be *****-slapped a few times for even bringing up the possibility that it could be a problem.
Now you're getting it. Any guys around can brag about their girlfriends, you can lean back in your chair and say nothing and grin because you know that you have them beat without having to open your mouth. It's the best kind of victory there is.Panzer_God said:
Lollers xD That was quite funny and inventive but definetely not the way to proceed. I have 2 questions for the original poster: Why on earth are you posting such a delicate topic on a gamingsite? And why are you ok with it if she is in porn business? I personally wouldn't be but that's just my opinion and it doesn't make me narrowminded at all. It's fairly normal requisite from a person you're involved with that he/she isn't sleeping with others. I'm not going to give any advice on how you should proceed with it since I don't think it's my place to. However if I'd be in a similar situation I'd try to make absolutely sure that she is the person in the picture before bringing the topic up. No point in doing so if she isn't. Good luck pal, you're going to need it (perhaps)JoesshittyOs said:
Yep that's my excuse for visiting porn links as well: I thought I recognized someone.Panzer_God said:
Keep that handy for when she catches you spanking off to some porno.
But just a heads up: I don't think "baby I thought it was you" is gonna go over too good in that conversation.
I only commented on this because there are people who think about getting off when instead they can be with the person they are in a relationship with. Yes, I understand there are urges and it's natural to satisfy them once in a while, but when your intimate with someone, you tend to rely less on porn than when you are alone.Eamar said:
If it really is a big part of who you are or is needed to satisfy your needs, then it's not an issue. I'm just saying that there are people in a relationship who wouldn't find it too appealing.
I see. I think the reason you got a few surprised responses was that you seemed to be implying that it was somehow "wrong" or the relationship couldn't be serious if one or both parties used porn. The wholeCrimsonBlaze said:
bit.CrimsonBlaze said:
Incidentally, I think it's rarely, if ever, a case of porn being "a big part of who someone is" or that it's "needed," more a case of there being nothing wrong with it and not a threat the the relationship's integrity. I have never understood people (usually women) who somehow feel threatened if their partner watches porn, or their need to control someone else's masturbation habits. Unless they're an addict or something, I guess.
It's no fun, but that doesn't mean you're not allowed to be upset by it.Panzer_God said:
Anyways, I don't think you should belittle yourself, you're as real and deserving of a relationship that makes you happy as she is. But as so many others have said before, just talk to her if you two are serious, or at least planning on being. Unless you're absolutely sure you can live with not knowing, of course. (And by 'live' I mean 'Live', and please be honest with yourself.)
Oh hell no, I was watching porn anyway, but the only reason I clicked on the ad was that I thought it was her xD.AngleWyrm said:
That's.... a very good question. I have no idea.Istronen said:
I don't think it makes you narrow-minded at all, in fact I'm pretty sure that that's the normal response. However, I truly believe that emotional intimacy is the only part of a relationship that really matter, and the only reason people care is that they mentally connect physical and emotional intimacy. I know that sometimes a rigid conformity to monogamy hurts people's relationships in the long run, and since I'm a big fan of open relationships, I can't really get upset. I don't mind if my girlfriend sleeps with someone else, as long as they still come home to me.Istronen said:
Yeah, if that's ok with you then there's not a problem. We people tend to come from different backgrounds and upbringings and sharing opinions is the proper way to benefit from discussions. Some people have called me narrowminded in the past as I've had quite strong views on things and I'm not as "relaxed" about some things in life as others are. My problem with that is that they are dismissing my view entirely and forcing their own on me. Lately I have mostly been quiet if I see a serious discussion somewhere and sticking my spoon in the soup would only be bad news for me You however wrote a very mature description of your point of view and I totally respect that. May you have a happy life and whatever you do, enjoy every moment! Greetings from Finland
You however wrote a very mature description of your point of view and I totally respect that. May you have a happy life and whatever you do, enjoy every moment! Greetings from Finland 
I found a really sexy link. OP should be worried!RedBird said:
http://globalgeeknews.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/Sexy-Link-Cosplay-by-Abigail.jpg