So my mom tried to get me to come 'out of the closet...'

[MBergman]

Well I had a fairly uncomfortable one, although nowadays it's just humorous.

Anyways a little back-story:
So it was when I was in 7th or 8th grade I believe, around 15 years old. We had a week when you went spent a week working at a real job, to feel what it's like or something. Anyways, I was at a restaurant which was like an half hour bus ride away. Not too bad, but I had a friend that lived just next to it, he was maybe 21 at the time, living in his own place.

So I tried to argue (that is nag, nag and nag) to stay at his place cause it would be easier and I could sleep longer, but they would have none of it "school day's aren't sleepover days", they pretty much just said no on principle.

So I don't stay there and that week I fall asleep with my computer on, and MSN messenger running. So my friend sometimes has a special kind of humour, I'm woken up by my father who is pointing at the screen and asking: "What the fuck is that?" My friend had written to me: "If you don't watch out, I'll break up with your dad!"

So this isn't too harsh, but my dad has noo reservation for gay jokes at all. He instantly believes that this guy is 100% super gay and has corrupted me and that my nagging to sleep at his place was for whole other reasons that to just be close to work. So I'm forbidden from ever seeing him again, asks me how you can even say something like that etc. etc. I try to explain to him that it's his kind of humour and that it's just a joke, but dad can't fathom it.

But after a couple of weeks it has cooled down a bit and I'm going up to him to play some D&D, something we did once or twice every couple of weeks. Anyways, I'm standing at the station waiting for the train to go up there and my dad calls me and says: (and this is the real price winning conversation)

Dad - "So, I'm not sure I want to let you go up there!"
Me - "Dad, I've told you a million times! It was a joke okay?"
Dad - "Ok, but if I find out in a couple of years that you've had some kind of fucking gay club up there, I'm removing you from my will. Ok?"
#Click#

Suffice to say my only thought was "WHAT?"

 

[Drakane]

After my sister asking if I would of still been born had my mom not had a miscarriage between myself and my sister my mom responded.

"Of course, at the time me and your dad were just fucking like bunnies."

 

[WorldCritic]

My dad tried to explain to me what "a woman's time of the month" meant when I was ten years old. I didn't know what it meant then and how he described it still sounds creepily awkward today.

 

[DuctTapeJedi]

my dad tried to get me to come out of the closet and my mother keeps leaving gay literature in my room...
most awkward conversation though was finding out how i was concived and that im an accident.

Oh God, that's awful.

My sister got something similar a few years ago, when our mom told her that "no child is ever planned."

Oh, and another awkward mom conversation came when she tried to have "the talk" with me. I was 19 at the time.

 

[Mr Montmorency]

My parents used to think I was gay because I've never bought girls home with me. I had to keep hammering the point in that I hadn't found any that I liked. Of course, the real reason is that I'm too socially inept to get a girl to come home with me anyway. It hasn't helped that one of my friends is a bisexual.

 

[lolmynamewastaken]

my dad tried to get me to come out of the closet and my mother keeps leaving gay literature in my room...
most awkward conversation though was finding out how i was concived and that im an accident.

Oh God, that's awful.

My sister got something similar a few years ago, when our mom told her that "no child is ever planned."

Oh, and another awkward mom conversation came when she tried to have "the talk" with me. I was 19 at the time.

i had the "there's not santa" talk when i was about 17... that was just funny though

 

[NotAPie]

Turns out I was adopted but not really.
I grew up thinking my grandma was my mom when it turns out the girl that I've been calling my sister was my mom.
She was 15 when she had me and I wasn't even meant to happen.
God that sucked hearing.

 

[DuctTapeJedi]

my dad tried to get me to come out of the closet and my mother keeps leaving gay literature in my room...
most awkward conversation though was finding out how i was concived and that im an accident.

Oh God, that's awful.

My sister got something similar a few years ago, when our mom told her that "no child is ever planned."

Oh, and another awkward mom conversation came when she tried to have "the talk" with me. I was 19 at the time.

i had the "there's not santa" talk when i was about 17... that was just funny though

Holy crap, that's hilarious.

On a similar note, I never actually receiced the "no tooth fairy" talk. They trusted I figured it out when I woke up to find my dad with one hand under my pillow and the other hand holding a dollar bill after I lost my first tooth. They still kept giving me the money, though, so I wouldn't tell my sister.

 

[knight56]

I had my father ask me to the OT question two years after I got dumped for some odd reason. >_>

 

[lolmynamewastaken]

my dad tried to get me to come out of the closet and my mother keeps leaving gay literature in my room...
most awkward conversation though was finding out how i was concived and that im an accident.

Oh God, that's awful.

My sister got something similar a few years ago, when our mom told her that "no child is ever planned."

Oh, and another awkward mom conversation came when she tried to have "the talk" with me. I was 19 at the time.

i had the "there's not santa" talk when i was about 17... that was just funny though

Holy crap, that's hilarious.

On a similar note, I never actually receiced the "no tooth fairy" talk. They trusted I figured it out when I woke up to find my dad with one hand under my pillow and the other hand holding a dollar bill after I lost my first tooth. They still kept giving me the money, though, so I wouldn't tell my sister.

Yeah i never had that one either but that was because they could never find my teeth... i was told to HIDE them under the pillow, on the down side, i was never told and never got any money from it either.

 

[Dexiro]

Well once I tried to make a collar out of a belt just on a whim, and I accidentally fell asleep while wearing it. Then I got woke up to my mum panicking and she started asking if I was trying to suffocate myself, or if it was asphyxiation. Fast forward a few days and she started buying my furry stuff :/

 

[TheRightToArmBears]

Parents talking about drugs. They're ex-hippie types. That was awkward.

 

[dsmops2003]

Turns out I was adopted but not really.
I grew up thinking my grandma was my mom when it turns out the girl that I've been calling my sister was my mom.
She was 15 when she had me and I wasn't even meant to happen.
God that sucked hearing.

That same thing happened to my father in law. That has to be a mind fuck. I dont know why parents in that situation think its a good idea. They are trying to "save face" but really are screwing up their own kids and grand kids in the process.

 

[DuctTapeJedi]

Turns out I was adopted but not really.
I grew up thinking my grandma was my mom when it turns out the girl that I've been calling my sister was my mom.
She was 15 when she had me and I wasn't even meant to happen.
God that sucked hearing.

That same thing happened to my father in law. That has to be a mind fuck. I dont know why parents in that situation think its a good idea. They are trying to "save face" but really are screwing up their own kids and grand kids in the process.

I always wondered why people did that. It seems to benefit them more that their children.

 

[DonMartin]

...interested in carpentry and masonry work...

WHOA WHOA WHOA


when did carpentry become gay?




EDIT: Now that I think of it, Im always alone when doing it. Am I... Hiding?

EDIT EDIT: Oh, wait, you mean carpentry makes you butch? And I'm a guy...

EDIT EDIT EDIT: Phew.

 

[SimuLord]

My dad tried to explain to me what "a woman's time of the month" meant when I was ten years old. I didn't know what it meant then and how he described it still sounds creepily awkward today.

My first girlfriend explained it to me---I knew from sex ed in school how the whole thing worked in theory, but theory only takes you so far when your first sexual partner is bleeding and telling you she doesn't want sex.

Her: "Nobody ever explained this to you?"
Me: "Well, I don't have any sisters, and my mom never talked to me about anything."

Later:

Me: "How come you never told me about how girls...work?"
My mom: "You never asked."

 

[RoboGeek]

my mum constantly accuses me of cheating on my girlfriend every-time i even say hi to a girl, this got so annoying i don't even bother telling her that I'm going out with girls and just lie to her

 

[NeW SpEcTrUM]

Haha, I haven't experienced that. That said, my girlfriend went through that, who was always pretty tomboyish, so I'm surprised it shocked anyone that she's bisexual. Plenty of awkward moments involved in that story lol.

 

[DuctTapeJedi]

After my sister asking if I would of still been born had my mom not had a miscarriage between myself and my sister my mom responded.

"Of course, at the time me and your dad were just fucking like bunnies."

You win the thread.

 

[butteforce]

I always wondered why people did that. It seems to benefit them more that their children.

You seem to have figured it out. People are assholes.

Incidentally, has no one figured out how to work the carpentry angle into a closet-related joke here? About building one maybe?