So relationships...Why?
- Thread starter creager91
- Start date
I think of it like this:
Imagine you found the greatest, bestest ever thing in the entire world, bar none. You could argue the object of your success. What is the point without having someone to share it with?
You could argue you have friends, you'd be right. But how many friends wouldnt get tired of hanging round with you endlessly and wouldn't try and make inroads into their own lives? Not many.
I often find people with opinions that say "its all a waste" either haven't met the right person, got hurt, or have never experienced.
I find my relationship to be great, i do thing i may not otherwise do because i have someone to go with. For example the holiday i just came back from, could i have taken my friends? yes, would it have been boring if i had? yes. What did we do? Not much actually, no subtle winks there or anything, literally not a great deal. Just spent time wandering about somewhere different, without care or worry. Some would say that sounds boring and yes i would agree. But going and doing it, much different.
If you ignore the wall of text,
then all i have to say is this: Its like going travelling, yes you can see the 7 wonders of the world on the internet and experience them, but by visiting them you realise that they are just objects and its the people you were missing out on. Relationships are the similar
Imagine you found the greatest, bestest ever thing in the entire world, bar none. You could argue the object of your success. What is the point without having someone to share it with?
You could argue you have friends, you'd be right. But how many friends wouldnt get tired of hanging round with you endlessly and wouldn't try and make inroads into their own lives? Not many.
I often find people with opinions that say "its all a waste" either haven't met the right person, got hurt, or have never experienced.
I find my relationship to be great, i do thing i may not otherwise do because i have someone to go with. For example the holiday i just came back from, could i have taken my friends? yes, would it have been boring if i had? yes. What did we do? Not much actually, no subtle winks there or anything, literally not a great deal. Just spent time wandering about somewhere different, without care or worry. Some would say that sounds boring and yes i would agree. But going and doing it, much different.
If you ignore the wall of text,
then all i have to say is this: Its like going travelling, yes you can see the 7 wonders of the world on the internet and experience them, but by visiting them you realise that they are just objects and its the people you were missing out on. Relationships are the similar
You know, just because we know how and why something happens, does not make it bad.creager91 said:
I learned a few thing's from Dragunai's post, and realized most of them apply to me when I'm with my girlfriend, but that's not a reason for me to suddenly break up with her simply because my body and mind react that way with her.
Just to clarify, I'm not accusing you of anything, or something like that. I've read the all of the thread up to this post, so I get where your coming from and decided that this was a good spot to jump in.
Simply because that's how we react, or simply because sex and mating is our basic motivation for it, does not mean that it's bad, or that we can't get more out of it. Would I like to have sex with my girlfriend? Of course, but I haven't yet, because that's not what she wants right now, and I'm perfectly fine with it. Getting married to her is my biggest motivation to push myself through college and get a good job. Is that bad? I don't believe so. It happens to be my motivation, but that doesn't make it horrible or cynical.
... I guess what I'm trying to say is, just because "love" is a natural and explained phenomenon, does not make it bad. In the end, it's what you do with it, and how you react to it.
...I'm 19 too...
Exactly. Isnt the world a wonderful place thanks to science!creager91 said:
Who needs that poetic love shizen when we have scientific fact. The reality being - I dont love you I am merely drawn to you by a series of chemical reactions to incur the breeding process and propogate the species!
To me, a relationships is basically a tradeoff: sex for a place to stay. The deal applies to both genders, until one party finds someone who looks and/or can relate to better, then the other party is wondering where (s)he went wrong.
Also, I have never even so much as batted an eyelash at the dating scene, and from the nightmare stories I've read and heard, I would be wise to avoid it.
Also, I have never even so much as batted an eyelash at the dating scene, and from the nightmare stories I've read and heard, I would be wise to avoid it.
I think the difference is life goals. Yes you have best friends and such but a time will come when you guys might have to separate for work or whatever (not because of choice). A girlfriend or boyfriend has goals that are similar to yours and you work together to achieve them. Honestly, I'm not exactly sure what the difference between a really best friend and an actual spouse is... maybe it is just one of those things you know when you know and you can't describe it to someone who hasn't experienced.creager91 said:
I have a great relationship right now, for the past 6 years. She's very nice to me, and knows how to make me feel better. She is fun to just chat with EVEN NOW, and just sitting next to her on a sofa makes my day better. I like that I can do things for her, and make her happy, and I like that she doesn't want what I can't give to her. I like that she's the only person I've met who I cannot lie to, and the reason I can't lie to her makes me realize something about myself.creager91 said:
A good relationship is these types of things. If you haven't experienced it, then I don't think you can understand.
Honestly I've not really had a girlfriend since primary school, so basically, I've never really had a girlfriend but to me, i see a girlfriend as just a super best friend that i can have sex with, maybe i'm wrong because I've yet to get a girlfriend but i'm still young, i think when i turn 20, if i still haven't found one, i'll change my view.
I have trust issues. I tend to not like opening up to people in general, so relationships tend to be bad both for me and whomever got stuck with me. Being alone isn't so bad when your friends are pretty close, anyway. It's not like you deal with that whole loneliness all that often.
Edit: I'm also a bit of a wanderer, so having a relationship with anyone other than someone who's willing to wander with me would be... detrimental to both of us.
Edit: I'm also a bit of a wanderer, so having a relationship with anyone other than someone who's willing to wander with me would be... detrimental to both of us.
Its weird honestly, im the same way, (maybe to a lesser degree due to my age) but I honestly barely find reasons to be in committed relationships, mostly its just pick up a girl, or guy, have some fun in some form then just drop them and move on, no stress. But everyonce and then you run into someone who REALLY grabs your interest, someone you feel comfortable around 100% and genuinely have feelings for. I dont mean love, god no im to young to understand that clusterfuck but something...more then physical attractioncreager91 said:
Uhh sucks for you? It is the exact opposite for me, my other half is a de-stress, we trust each other so no worry or jealousy, and we split food and video games. It's the best thing ever.creager91 said:
Ok im just going to say to everyone in general that the girls I tend to be attracted to aren't what youd call gamers, sure they may play mariokart/party or def jam rapstar or other party games but they arent ones to play real games. I honesty don't think I could ever date a gamer anywayNova Helix said:
I gotta respect that attitude. While there's no way in hell I could live like that, if you can avoid the mess and complications of sex and relationships, go for it. You're lucky that you can. And good for you for refusing to let society or anyone tell you that's "wrong" or "weird."Gildan Bladeborn said:
Indeed, I agree with you, OP. Long ago, I decided that a relationship would be taxing to my time, money, and energy, and that no matter how good sex is, the necessary investment was simply not a logical or economically sound tradeoff for but a few minutes of pleasure. I am 19 now, I have never been on a date, I have never had a girlfriend, I am a virgin, and I plan never to date, marry, have children, or partake of sexual intercourse. I have a fully functioning heterosexual libido and reproductive organs, so the strength of my moral and intellectual fiber is clearly no accident of birth. I think that if I can weather the prime-breeding years of my adolescence (and weather I did) my prospects are good. I am enrolled in college, studying to be an engineer, and very content with my lot. I do not think that wasting my meager time and funds to woo some young lady would improve things at all, and I pity those who think it would.
Pardon my asking, but how do you mean "have?" I've had a meager handful of crushes in my time and even a few female friends, but I have the ability to dismiss the former as simple biological trickery to undermine my logic and get me to reproduce.creager91 said:
You do mean romantic/sexual relationships, I presume. I myself am a bit of a cynic when it comes to this, as well. However, my natural instincts tell me to find someone to spend my time with. So, while any relationship with anyone I currently am acquainted with would be a complete waste of time and money, I am keeping a lookout for someone, but I'm not going to go searching for them any time soon.
I've grown accustomed to the thought of spending my life alone. Considering my current standards are ridiculously specific, I think that's for the best.
I've grown accustomed to the thought of spending my life alone. Considering my current standards are ridiculously specific, I think that's for the best.