So you've just found out your spouse is a former porn star.

[Jenvas1306]

No I cant answer that, if I think about it I can hardly type cause of laughing so hard. He already has a hard time saying anything naught out aloud and is affraid the neighbors could hear us...
Nope, just nope....

 

[Woodsey]

It'd probably bother me a bit. Not enough to have "relationship trouble" over though.

 

[AgentNein]

To add another perspective to this conversation: my first girlfriend at 15 or 16 was down for whatever. It was great! Zero hang ups, she wanted to try everything and we had a lot of fun. A lot of fun my next serious girlfriend would've probably been weirded out by. She was a virgin when we started dating and it honestly upset her when I admitted (after she had asked) to having had sex in the past. Damn religious upbringings. Does anyone feel I was obligated in any way to share with her all the weird sexually adventurous junk I was doing before? Was I somehow being dishonest to her by not sharing the specifics of my sexual history, a history that dated back to before I even knew her? I don't think so.

And if she had ever found out and confronted me about being supposedly dishonest with her, I'd tell her that I didn't tell her because I knew it would make her upset, and while I'm sorry that it came up to her, I'm not sorry in keeping knowledge that was mine to keep. Knowledge dating back to before she was a part of my life. If it's a relationship dealbreaker then it is what it is, but I'm not ashamed of the choices I made that hurt no one and I'm not going to be made ashamed of them, even though I'd regret the pain this info somehow caused.

 

[Icehearted]

@BloatedGuppy
I can accept that, but I would suggest that if a person has a secret they worry would end their marriage they should reconsider who they are marrying rather than deceive their would-be spouse.

@Saladfork
Ultimately our choices have consequences. Renting your body for sexual acts on camera should have consequences. We can't simply be irresponsible and expect others to accept us regardless. I believe that to each their own, but my personal reaction, as requested by the op, would be a grave and extreme one in finding out, by no admission on her part, that my wife was let a large number of strange men use her for sex and paid her for it, on camera, and covered it up.

People can put their past behind them, that's fine, but part of doing this is reconciling how it affects one's future or the people they care about. Hiding it or pretending it never happened didn't help this poor guy, he found out, and if I were in his shoes I'd be crushed.

 

[DeimosMasque]

Since mine wife actually is involved in the adult entertainment industry and has been since about a year after we started dating I'd have to say... yeah whatever.

And if I were in the exact same situation as the guy in the Dear Abby: Yeah whatever.

 

[Something Amyss]

Unless she hid an STD from me, I don't really care. I mean, I don't assume everyone I date is a nun, and sex for money doesn't bother me.

Now, if she presented me with a BILL...

 

[zehydra]

Hell yes, I'd ask her for the videos, lol.

It wouldn't bother me at all if it was in the past. It would only bother me if she was doing it while we were in a relationship. It would also probably bother me if our relationship was still non-sexual.

 

[Moth_Monk]

I probably wouldn't care at all.

 

[game-lover]

I'm not sure. I feel as if it might bother me. But I guess I have no way of knowing

 

[Mel Theofficegamergirl]

dude, it's in the past, get over it. We'd probably laugh about it over some drinks.

 

[Judgment90]

As long as she tells me, the impact won't be as strong, but it'd still be rather unsettling. Also, as long as she wasn't in anything freaky like something gross, I don't mind.

 

[manic_depressive13]

I'm confused at the people who say they wouldn't care, but they'd be angry because she didn't tell them sooner. Wuh? If my boyfriend kept telling me shit I don't care about I'd be pretty annoyed. If it truly didn't bother you, the fact that she kept it a secret wouldn't bother you either. That's like saying "I'm not morally opposed to making salads, but the fact that you made a salad 15 years ago and didn't tell me about it just can't be forgiven."

 

[joshuaayt]

I'd ask her where I can get some of that action, you bet I'd want to watch my no doubt smokin' hot partner doing dirty business.

Really, though? It's just more sex, albeit paid sex. If she hasn't told me already, it's because she's uncomfortable with me knowing. I'm fine with the odd secret, as long as it isn't harmful.

Why do couples have to share every detail about their lives with each other, anyway? I don't want to marry an enigma, but I can deal with slightly mysterioso, if you follow.

 

[BaronUberstein]

Wouldn't bother me that they had been one, though if they had tried to actively hide it from me and we were married I'd be more concerned about the dishonesty.

 

[EHKOS]

I'd make her do porn-starry things in bed for a while to make it up to me and then move on.

 

[Bara_no_Hime]

As I was reading my morning paper today I skimmed over the "Dear Abby" advice column which had the tagline "Wife's dark past". A man had just found out that his wife of five years had starred in somewhere between ten to twenty porn films when she was 19.(she is 32 now according to him) The man was devastated at this revelation, as was his wife when he confronted her about it, and was having trouble getting over it.

Now, imagine yourself in the same situation with your significant other; be they real or hypothetical. How would you go about handling it, and would it bother you at all?

I'd ask my spouse to call up some previous co-workers and either A) have a fun evening or B) have a fun evening AND start a brand new paid website on the internet.

....

I'd probably want to work out a little (or a lot) before that last option. My abs haven't recovered from pregnancy yet.

 

[Azurian]

Well it would be weird kissing her knowing what went in and came out of that mouth (no pun intended).

 

[Kargathia]

As usual, the liberal, always nice guys responses. It would bother the fuck out of you all. men most so, but women. Its the human ego you see, and the male ego is the worst. How could you compete with all those hour long sessions with the biggest members u cud imagine! She was lying when she said I was the best she ever had! Did she just fake that orgasm just now? - And so the decent into egomanical maddnness and jealousy would go. Until you hate your partner and, but more so yourself.

Before you all jump to respond, this is the cold truth that you either deny, or lack the relevant life experience to know.

Apart from that I generally don't task my sexual partners with grading my performance, I can see where you're coming from.
Which doesn't mean I agree with you - not everyone has a neurotic need to compare himself to previous partners of his girlfriend. Sure, the basic instinct to measure dicks will be there, but whether it persists past the first few seconds is another thing altogether.

Or at least, this I conclude after accidentally stumbling across nude pics of a previous partner, lingering in a dark and forgotten corner of a girlfriend's pc that needed cleaning. (dang, that guy was ripped. =O)