Sonic '06 - Objectively Better Than Portal

[Vegosiux]

I'm still here, waiting for the "objectively" bit to be pointed out and elaborated on. So far, all I've seen was subjective stuff, or rather, you keep talking about why you liked Sonic more than Portal.

Sorry, but at the use of "irrefutably prove" and "objectively" in the OP, I think I will have to let my ol' pal Inigo Montoya do the talking.

Someone missed the joke. >.>

I tend to miss the unfunny ones, yes.

Silly me.

 

[hazabaza1]

changed gaming forever

Uuuuuuuh... I seriously think you're overstating the impact that Sonic 06 had.
It was a shitty game, sure, but it produced Pokecapn+Crew's LP and the GameGrumps series.
To be honest I enjoy watching those series a lot more than playing Portal. Not that Portal is bad.

 

[bafrali]

I'm still here, waiting for the "objectively" bit to be pointed out and elaborated on. So far, all I've seen was subjective stuff, or rather, you keep talking about why you liked Sonic more than Portal.

Sorry, but at the use of "irrefutably prove" and "objectively" in the OP, I think I will have to let my ol' pal Inigo Montoya do the talking.

Someone missed the joke. >.>

I tend to miss the unfunny ones, yes.

Silly me.

Come on. Don't be so jaded. Even if you don't find it funny, you must have seen the clever jabs at the "hardcore" and "retro" games...all of which tried to copy the genius of the Sonic 06 unsuccessfully. When will they learn?

 

[shrekfan246]

I'm still here, waiting for the "objectively" bit to be pointed out and elaborated on. So far, all I've seen was subjective stuff, or rather, you keep talking about why you liked Sonic more than Portal.

Sorry, but at the use of "irrefutably prove" and "objectively" in the OP, I think I will have to let my ol' pal Inigo Montoya do the talking.

Someone missed the joke. >.>

Edit: I thought trolling was a big forum no-no. Apparently OP didn't get the memo.

I fail to see where this is trolling.

These are things that many people like to complain are prevalent in "modern" games. Taking those complaints, I've matched them up to two separate games to see how they hold up. Examining each title closely, one clearly comes out as being superior to the other. They're both ostensibly "modern" games, one of which succumbs to all of these "tropes" that people like to say are huge problems with the current gaming industry, and one of which eschews the tropes in favor of the opposing stance.

 

[aguspal]

I'm still here, waiting for the "objectively" bit to be pointed out and elaborated on. So far, all I've seen was subjective stuff, or rather, you keep talking about why you liked Sonic more than Portal.

Sorry, but at the use of "irrefutably prove" and "objectively" in the OP, I think I will have to let my ol' pal Inigo Montoya do the talking.

Someone missed the joke. >.>

I tend to miss the unfunny ones, yes.

Silly me.

I thougt it was a pretty interesting read and I rather like this thread.



Now seriously. In my opinion: Portal is a good game but a tad overrated, Sonic 06 is kinda broken BUT its also pretty fucking hilarious to play a game with so many bugs. It was actually FUN. More than what I can say about other games...

 

[njrk97]

I... ahh cant even teh brain i think broke it you hasss

 

[Beautiful End]

I agree.

Sonic also deals with relationships a lot better than Portal as well.

A romantic relationship between a human woman and a blue hedgehog teaches us that our physical forms are just barriers to something deeper.

Truly, Sonic '06 is the Citizen Kane of this generation.

Daystar, you are right. And for that, I thank you.

Now, where is that cute little raccoon I saw yesterday...?

OT: Arguably, it could be better. But it's not. I know this is probably a satire but still. Sonic 06 is soooooooooo badly designed...

-The genre is a beloved one. It's kinda like a platformer but not all the way. It could have been great if well developed. Portal actually took the "kinda FPS" genre and made it their own.
-The color palette is bigger but just because you have colors doesn't mean you gotta use them all.
-The levels are more colorful but broken. You can glitch through them or simply die for no reason.
-Sonic 06's challenge is finishing the game without going nuts. So I guess it IS more challenging.
-The game wants you to figure everything on your own. That's ok...but there are ways to do it. Portal puts the solution in front of you and expects you to figure it out. Sonic throws you into the Lion's Den and doesn't even give you a toothpick to defend yourself.
-Sonic 06 is longer, perhaps too long. After playing a broken game for so long, you start to miss something like Portal.
-Investment is irrelevant and varies per customer.

But seriously, if you don't believe me, just watch Game Grumps playing Sonic 06.

Do it. Go now. I'll wait.

Actually, this would summarize it:


...

And I rest my case.

 

[Shadowstar38]

I'm still here, waiting for the "objectively" bit to be pointed out and elaborated on. So far, all I've seen was subjective stuff, or rather, you keep talking about why you liked Sonic more than Portal.

Sorry, but at the use of "irrefutably prove" and "objectively" in the OP, I think I will have to let my ol' pal Inigo Montoya do the talking.

You haven't really been around too many modern game disscussions have you?

Each point is a laundry list of what gamers say is "wrong" with games today. Those people think of wrong in terms of objectivity as well. I can see why. If I finish something in an afternoon, and have no story to really think about, nor interesting and varied gameplay, well does make a game shit.

Now statistically, many of the people that claim gaming today sucks will also look at Valve as the crowning acheivement of what developers should be doing. That there presents it's own issues. But I digress.

Take a well loved game and put it up against the standards being laid out, and you can see it fail horribly at it. While a game everyone hails to be shit hits all the high marks.

The ending result will have one of two options.

The first is that it gives you a wealth of insight into why something isn't as bad as people make it out to be. With this new viewpoint you can gain a newfound respect for it.

Or, alternatively, people who use all the hallmarks that allegedly make a game better have to abandon their system because looking at something like this will make them foam at the mouth.

In short, this thread is an epic exercise in critical thought. It's less of a "joke" as the others would think, and more of an analysis of the state of gaming as a whole today.

 

[Tuesday Night Fever]

In light of my recent thread, I've come to the realization that many people feel that shorter games are not worth their money. They feel that the number of dollars spent should be roughly equal to the number of hours spent playing the game, or else they haven't gotten their money's worth. I've noticed a few other complaints about "modern" games as well, namely that many of them are first-person shooters with an extremely limited color palette, or are linear and just a succession of corridors that don't let you explore, or that they're too easy and don't challenge the player in any significant way.

I was one of the people in that thread who argued that games are getting objectively shorter, and commented that I like to get the most content for my dollar.

I didn't feel it was completely necessary to specify that volume alone isn't the only thing that makes a game worth buying to me.

Apparently, it was necessary. So without further adieu...

I seek to get the most content for my dollar as a goal, but ultimately, a shorter/fun game is more worthwhile than a longer/terrible game. The ideal game however is long/fun. Therefore, to me, Sonic '06 is still an overall bad game and Portal is still awesome, even though it's short.

Please don't make me specify what 'fun' equates to.

EDIT:
Notably, Portal was also never a full-price game. It was originally part of the Orange Box (which was already pretty low-price for what you got in the bundle), and then got its own stand-alone release. I don't remember the prices for it everywhere, but the stores around here were selling Portal for $10 as a stand-alone when it was new. For only $10, I have no complaints about the amount of content.

Regardless, the post was hilarious and I got quite a few good laughs out of it. Brightened up an otherwise boring and uneventful workday.

 

[TheCommanders]

I get that this is at least partially a joke, but it brings up a good point. Games need to be judged as their own entities. As Top Gear continually points out about cars, just building/judging by numbers or formulas doesn't cut it. It's all about execution, and how the complete package feels to the individual. For example, there's been a recent trend (for some reason) of thinking it makes you a great artistic critic to point out how blue and orange are very prominent hues in... well everything. What are the two primary colors in Portal again? Does that in any way affect your enjoyment of the product? No? Then shut the fuck up with your banal generalities that serve as a poor substitutes for actual critical thinking.

 

[dessertmonkeyjk]

There is no form without function and if the function is abundantly flawed then the form also suffers in which then both form the experience. My experience with Portal was better then Sonic '06.

Sure, one has more content over the other but does that mean the content is better? I personally say no.
Yes, the color schemes are different but if it fits the setting well then does it matter? Unless it goes against function then no.
If a number of game provides a very similar experience from one another then should I buy a particular game anyway? Chances are, 4 slight variations are my limit before I will do something else.

 

[00slash00]

this my be my favorite thread on this site, ever. anytime someone says that a game is inferior because its too short, i will link them to this thread

 

[Lugbzurg]

Wut!?

Ok, Portal is not a first-person shooter any more than Sonic '06 is a racing game or a beat-em-up title.

Color palate. Let's take a look back at Sonic the Hedgehog and Super Mario World. Now, the Super Nintendo was capable of producing more colors than the Genesis. But at the dawn of Sonic's debut, someone asked a guy at Sega about this and how they could compete there, and the Sega guy showed the other person Sonic the Hedgehog and Super Mario World side-by-side and asked him "Which one has more colors? It's not how many colors you have, it's what you do with them." That applies here. Sonic '06 has some pretty shoddy visuals. There's a lot of blur and obnoxious repetition. Overall, it's not pleasant to look at. Portal has a very interesting look to it. It's not just the colors, its the visual style as a whole.

Level design. You've gotten "Level design" confused with "art design". Sonic '06 has terrible level design, as Clement would tell you. We didn't ask for confusing direction with empty areas and the ball puzzle. Portal had excellent level design. It was actually fun to play.

Challenge. The reason Sonic '06 is so hard is because of the bad design choices. Shadow's Kingdom Valley was his hardest level. And need I remind you how early you play that level? The game's constant glitches and terrible design make it hard in a way that's frustrating, rather than rewarding.

Depth. Ha, ha, ha. Depth? In Sonic '06? That's just painful. As Clement explained in his now-rather-famous videos on Sonic '06, the multiple gameplay styles were one of the main things that killed this game. You've got nine playable characters, along with the super forms, Shadow's vehicles, and the mach-speed sections. There were way too many gameplay styles to keep a tight grip on, and as a result, they all fall so hard. Sonic '06 doesn't leave you to figure out anything for yourself. What are you talking about? They spell out everything for you in that game! Playable characters and the voice of Elise's dead dad are constantly telling you how to overcome every obstacle and interact with every object through the whole thing as everyone constantly points out the obvious about the environment. Portal is the one that leaves you to figure everything out on your own. After all "This next test is impossible." And as for story? The story of Sonic '06 was convoluted at best. Portal? It took the interesting storytelling mechanics of Half-Life and improved them with things like the Ratman chambers.

Length. Actually, you'd be shocked at how many people actually like short games. Yes, some people actually like to clear through the entire thing in one sitting and not have the story broken up as they play through it over several days. After all, haven't you seen Portal 2? That game is feature-length, yet many weren't happy with that, and felt that it was weighed down with too much filler, whereas the original gave you everything it needed and didn't bother with any pointless rubbish to make the game longer. Also, Silver is inexcusably-slow in Sonic '06. So, that's gonna make game time longer. Just sayin'. And as for that extra content for $15? It's just Hard Mode and Super Hard Mode. What do we get for Portal? Cool media. Nothing that lags the game down and makes it even more frustrating.

Investment. You know, that last bit actually looks like you started to acknowledge Sonic '06 as crap. This stuff isn't an accomplishment. That's actually the whole reason why it's so widely despised!

You know what, I'll just leave the first part of Clement's review, since I was bringing it up like that.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dCwwxCL4iyw

Y'know, I want to play along with everyone here.

But I'm sorry, I can't.

I mean...I just can't joke about a game that managed to drive a popular internet animator to the point of mental breakdown.

Thank you.

Is this a joke? 'Cause, it really isn't funny. If it's supposed to be satire, as some people seem to be claiming it to be, it sure doesn't come off that way. It's like when people try to make the claim that this "Gungam Style" or whatever-it-is is supposed to be a parody on modern pop music videos when it's really nothing of the sort; contributing to the exact same things without a hint of irony.

 

[Ed130 The Vanguard]

Objectively: Your logic is flawed and attempting to compare two game of wildly varying genres in the way you have done it smacks of bias.

Subjectively: Pretty funny, just take care not to start a flame war and get involved in it, the Mods here can be brutal at times.

 

[Lunar Templar]

and you got all hat out with a straight face to, that's impressive by it self

 

[tautologico]

You should make a list of "games that are objectively better than Portal" following these criteria, I think it would be a rather long list.

 

[CommanderL]

Your Right How could I be so Blind And how could half life have won game of the decade over the epic master piece of sonic 06 sonic 06 the game that changed gaming forever sonic 06 the greatest and most perfect game off all time and how dare you compare the glory that is sonic 06 to that crap spargunkleweewee that is portal How dare you compare such an amazing game one that defined an entire gaming generation to that second rate filth

 

[Terrible Opinions]

You guys made it this far without bringing up this video?


It starts off tame and gradually turns in to insanity. The only thing I wish that video covered was the god damn motherfucking load times.

 

[DrunkOnEstus]

I've...wasted 6 years of my life. I could have achieved 100% in a game that deconstructs all the poisonous things about gaming. I will atone for my sin by starting the cult of Sonic. When I've finished my digital journey of 100% completion, I will drink melted rings, fall asleep in all blue, and wait for tails to spin down and take me to nirvana. The hazing ritual is rather tame, you simply have to make out with a dead hedgehog to prove your devotion to the most heartwarming and inspiring romance ever experienced.

 

[CrimsonBlaze]

Spoiler: large snip

In light of my recent thread, I've come to the realization that many people feel that shorter games are not worth their money. They feel that the number of dollars spent should be roughly equal to the number of hours spent playing the game, or else they haven't gotten their money's worth. I've noticed a few other complaints about "modern" games as well, namely that many of them are first-person shooters with an extremely limited color palette, or are linear and just a succession of corridors that don't let you explore, or that they're too easy and don't challenge the player in any significant way.

Keeping all of these things in mind, I feel that I can now irrefutably prove that Sonic '06 is objectively better than Portal.

[small]It's no use, Portal![/small]​

First - Genre:

People always lament the prevalence of first-person shooters these days. Well, Portal is a first-person shooter. You run around in first-person view, and shoot things. Portals instead of bullets, but functionally it's the same.

Sonic '06 is a rare gem, though. A speed-focused 3D platformer. We don't get many of those anymore, do we? Truly it's much more unique than Portal, then, since as Sonic we're not walking around at half the speed of a snail waving guns around in peoples' faces.

Second - Color Palette:

Portal is a game that most of us know by now. Love-child of Valve, spawner of memes, and based around puzzles, it's a media darling. But... it has somewhat of a limited color palette, wouldn't you say? I mean, all of that white and grey... sure, you have the occasional blue or orange because of the portals themselves, but you're moving through such bland environments.

Sonic '06, on the other hand, is a bright and vivid collection of the entire spectrum of colors. Everywhere you go, you see not only grey and white, but blues and greens and reds and yellows and oranges, violets and blacks and browns and aquamarine and pink. It's so colorful, and it really brings the game to life.

Third - Level Design:

Portal is a puzzle game, set in a long-abandoned test facility. As such, most of the stages are small, self-contained maps that are generally pretty closed-off. It doesn't allow for much exploration, and there's really only ever one distinct path for you to travel along, no matter how obtuse the portal puzzles might make it seem.

Sonic '06, however, has a semi-open hub world with many missions strewn about, and all of the individual levels are large, with wide open terrain that invites and encourages plenty of exploration. Sometimes you might even get lost and need to search out your own way of continuing the level further, and really, how often does that happen in other modern games?

[small]All right, if I triangulate the hypotenuse of these three platforms... Princess, do you have a map?[/small]​

Fourth - Challenge:

Portal is not a very complicated game. You find the wall you can shoot portals on, you shoot portals on it, and you travel through the portals. Progress! Consequently, it can be completed in a very short amount of time despite the sheer number of challenges present within the game. It's all so easy, right? And people hate easy games.

Sonic '06 is another story entirely. In fact, once you reach a level called "Crisis City", the difficulty bar skyrockets so quickly you'd think your grandmother just *****-slapped you from the afterlife. It's long, it's torturous, and it's challenging as all hell. And that's exactly what people want, right? More difficulty in their games! Well, Sonic '06 has it in spades! In fact, I'd wager that it's the most difficult game in the entire Sonic franchise!

Fifth - Depth:

As I've previously mentioned, Portal isn't terribly complex. You get a portal gun, and throughout the course of the game you use it to create portals that lead you to the next testing chamber. The most it mixes up the gameplay are during sections that you need to weigh down multiple switches, and even then it just usually consists of shooting a few portals to move cubes around and then back-tracking until you reach the door you've opened.

Sonic '06 throws you right in and expects you to figure out everything for yourself, and there's quite a fair amount for you to learn. Between all of the separate controls, the different objectives missions have, the game switching it up by swapping you out to a different character, who have unique move-sets all of their own, or throwing Sonic into what's colloquially known as "mach speed" sections where you're constantly moving forward at a fixed speed and need to navigate perilous terrain, Sonic '06 was a modern pioneer of "easy to learn, hard to master" controls that games like Dark Souls would later popularize. There's so much variety that really contributes toward keeping the game from getting stale, which is more than can be said for the Portal "I'm Gonna Hide That This Is A Linear Hallway By Making You Shoot Vertically" Gun.

[small]Now you're thinking with portals, son.[/small]​

Sixth - Length:

Portal is an incredibly short game. So short, in fact, that you could complete almost half of it over the course of an average lunch break. I don't know about everyone else, but to me that sounds like a pretty poor amount of content for the money you're spending. Who wants to be able to be able to beat an entire game during the time it takes to watch an episode of House? Not me.

[small]It takes longer for me to diagnose 'not lupus' than it takes to complete Portal.[/small]​

Fortunately, Sonic '06 is much longer. Not only do you get all of the content provided by Sonic's story from the start, there are also two extra playable characters with their own unique stories that unlock as you play through Sonic's. And the stages themselves aren't as short as the typical older Sonic games, either, where you could zoom through in two or three minutes. Oh no, these things are much more complicated than that, and a lot of them actually have multiple areas to go through before you actually reach the end too. Plus, then there's that overworld hub you get to explore, which also has its own missions. I mean, just look at the amount of content, and it's all for $15! What more could you ask for?

Seventh - Investment:

So, we've already covered how easy, simple, and short Portal is. Well, gee, but easy, simple, short games are pretty much poster-children for so-called "casual" gaming, aren't they? You don't need to put any significant amount of time or effort in to beat Portal, and pretty much everyone and their grandmother are able to beat it. You can just pick it up and play it without any problems, just like a mobile game!

Sonic '06 requires a much stronger resolve. You have to focus, you have to strain yourself to the limits of your gaming ability, and you have to tell yourself that you will beat it, no matter how much it kicks your ass around! And if you leave it for long enough, trying to go right back in will only end with the game kicking your ass even harder for being foolish enough to think your rusty playing would be good enough.

[small]Get used to this screen - You'll be seeing it a lot.[/small]​

No. Just no.

Not sure if you are trolling or if you believe that Sonic '06 is good for being unspeakably bad.

Either way, there's no denying that Sonic '06 is probably one of the worst Sonic games ever developed and certainly the worst to ever be released for the current gen consoles. I've never played Portal 1 or 2, but just from what I have seen and watched others play, it's a pretty intriguing game and I'd much sooner pick up a Portal title than to have to play Sonic '06 again.

Portal was a whole new IP that was not meant to be a fully fledged game, yet it had fun environments, great characters, a simple yet complex story, cleaver puzzles, a portal gun, and physics that further enriched the experience. It quickly obtained a cult following and became popular enough to warrant a fully fledged sequel.

Sonic '06 was probably one of the lowest points for the Blue Blur. Horrible controls, bad game mechanics (Sonic in the Adventure series was faster!), the wrong art direction for the hedgehog (i.e. too realistic and not warranted), an awful story, and overall, an unpleasant mess of a game. It is a disgraceful entry into a beloved and classic franchise that put Sega on the map of the gaming world.

So if you enjoyed or found Sonic '06 fun or even great, whatever. To each his own. All I can say is that there are far more installments, new and old, that are far better. Also, if Portal isn't your thing, don't try to convince people that it isn't cool, when it totally is.

Believe me, your 6 year-old blue cake is a lie.