Sometimes spanking is justified if they´re being really bratty.But... If i was a parent, i´d try to punish my kids in other ways.Taking away stuff they like might prove more successful.
Spanking
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Where did you get evidence from? I'm asking how to discipline a kid without physical harm. You didn't like the what-if so I gave you an actual scenario, but how would you have handled that? I'm in the minority of your research, and I don't see any other way. So would you at least give your more educated opinion?Koroviev said:
What evidence do you want? I guess you can read up on <a href=http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Operant_conditioning>operant conditioning if that will help. Negative reinforcement is just taking away something unfavorable to increase the likely hood a behavior is done. I guess the example would work better if the not spanking days couldn't be so frequent. Let's say a kid gets spanked at 3pm except on days he gets a paid extra for mowing his neighbors lawn. Actually, that works better. The kid will work hard so he doesn't get spanked and the varied scheduled of reward is a nice touch too.Koroviev said:
Can't remember where I read it, but someone was saying parent's shouldn't be allowed to raise their voice any more.
Lol
Anyways, let's try it - *whispers* "hey timmy...come back, you shouldn't run into the middle of the road, really, it's naughty"
I think 'GET THE FUCK BACK HERE NOW' could be more effective personally, and an aid to road safety, followed by a swat on the back of the legs or butt.
If they've hurt themselves already, smacking them's not going to add much however. They need your love and caring at that point, whoever's fault it was.
To me, single spanks are fine, as they're meant to link mild pain with dangerous activities.
The main rule for me is it should be controlled, if you're angry and hit your kids because of that, you're doing it wrong.
I've gotta say, my friends are doing very well so far with their toddler, a stern NO seems to stop almost anything, lets hope it works for the next 15 years or so
Lol
Anyways, let's try it - *whispers* "hey timmy...come back, you shouldn't run into the middle of the road, really, it's naughty"
I think 'GET THE FUCK BACK HERE NOW' could be more effective personally, and an aid to road safety, followed by a swat on the back of the legs or butt.
If they've hurt themselves already, smacking them's not going to add much however. They need your love and caring at that point, whoever's fault it was.
To me, single spanks are fine, as they're meant to link mild pain with dangerous activities.
The main rule for me is it should be controlled, if you're angry and hit your kids because of that, you're doing it wrong.
I've gotta say, my friends are doing very well so far with their toddler, a stern NO seems to stop almost anything, lets hope it works for the next 15 years or so
Actually, right and wrong are somewhat subjective. It may be right for a child to talk to strangers in one culture but frowned upon in the next. If they know right and wrong by then it is because they were taught it. I don't know about you, but I know I didn't have a concept of ownership when I was 5.pulse2 said:
You know, you keep running circles and chasing your own tail about this. You keep saying research doesnt support my answer. well thats graet, but yhave you ever seen research? Research is controlled. Variables dont affect it. Control groups are kept away from each other. In the REAL world, where most of live, instead of out of college psychology books, things like that are never so perfect. Groups mix. Kids who are spanked interact with kids that arent, and when they hear that they arent being spanked, they think, "Gee, they took away my toy but so what. they're not hitting me. whats a toy to me, i have more, or i can wait." When the kid knows that they will burt hit, that they will Feel, the discipline, they wont chance it.Koroviev said:
I'm not a certified expert myself, so for this I will rely on a credible source.TehCookie said:
[spoiler = "General Ideas"]"Suggestions for All Ages
1. Support good behavior. Hugs and praise will go a long
way (Ruben, 1996).
2. Try an ounce of prevention (Ruben, 1996). Effective
discipline means announcing clear, simple family rules
(the fewer, the better) at a time when children are calm
and listening.
3. Try to understand the feelings behind your child's
actions (Ruben, 1996). Ask older children why they are
angry. When an infant cries, ask yourself: Does she
want to be held? Is her diaper wet? Is she hungry?
4. Share your change of heart (Ruben, 1996). If you have
spanked your children in the past, but have decided that
you will stop, talk to your children about your decision.
This lesson can be valuable for your whole family. "[/spoiler]
If you would like age-specific answers, then I'm going to direct you to the source. [http://ceep.crc.illinois.edu/eecearchive/digests/1997/ramsbu97.pdf]
Well, there's reasoning, and then there's evidence. I think your reasoning is strong. Nevertheless, as strong as your reasoning is, I feel that I need evidence to ascertain your assertion. It is by all means reasonable, but that does not necessarily mean it is supported.crudus said:
I've read about operant conditioning, which is why I am hesitant to classify punishment as something other than punishment.
you've said it every person that disagrees, only you called it "evidence" whihc is from your original source of research done on the subject.Koroviev said:
I don't mean that sort of right and wrong, the basic things, 'don't touch' being one, 'don't spit' being another and you can sort of get the idea from there.crudus said:
If your child doesnt know whats right and wrong at that age, its probably the best time to start teaching them. Especially if they bite, scream and throw a temper tantrum like I did. I was a terror from 3 up to at least 13, from that point I suddenly started behaving myself.
Ask aynone with kids. They'll push the boundaries. its part of the growing up and learning limits phase. when they finally learn the worst that can happen that they experience, tehy stop.Fagotto said:
Are you referring to anecdotal evidence? Come to think of it, that is a bit of a misnomer. While it is referred to as anecdotal evidence, it really isn't much in the way of evidence. Within the scope of an argument, anecdotal "evidence" is best suited for making a point relevant, while actual research factually supports the point. I'd never even thought about that. Good point.emeraldrafael said:
There are easier ways but spanking is often easier because talking to a child often will not work. A lot of you children will be persistently stubborn to their ideas, even if the idea is terrible. A lot of people might find spanking a bit gratuitous but it is often for the best, so a child won't grow up into an idiotic pig who gets what they want when they want it.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=Es_uivijpek
spanking would have been the best option.
spanking would have been the best option.
Well, sometimes.
You can tell your child a dozen times that the oven is hot and touching it is bad, but some children will learn it only after they touched the oven. We learn/experience things basically in two ways, one is learning-by-watching/hearing, the other is learning-by-doing. The occasional spank is the learning-by-doing method of teaching. As always a healthy mix between these two methods is usually the best method for raising a child. Although in the end it depends on the child how effective each method really is.
You can tell your child a dozen times that the oven is hot and touching it is bad, but some children will learn it only after they touched the oven. We learn/experience things basically in two ways, one is learning-by-watching/hearing, the other is learning-by-doing. The occasional spank is the learning-by-doing method of teaching. As always a healthy mix between these two methods is usually the best method for raising a child. Although in the end it depends on the child how effective each method really is.
I agree with what you say and I wouldn't say that a large part of my development as a child attributes to the spanking I recieved, like I've said, the spanking I recieved went hand in hand with the love, care and affection I recieved and of course those positives had a larger share on my positive outcome, and yes, not in all cases is spanking necessary, neither do all children push the boundaries. But in the rare case, some children do, like I said, I myself did it, in fact, the only person I ever listened to was my mother, and even she had a hard time with me. Admittedly I was expelled from several primary schools for my extreme temper tantrums (which resulted in one school having its books torn and its fish tank smashed). So seeing as my mother used to get my attention with a good smack on my bottom when I wasn't listening and then turn me towards her face, come down to my level and speak to me firmly, I'd say it had an effect on my up bringing.Fagotto said:
I like to think there is no such thing as a bad child, there is only bad parenting, but my parents were amazing parents, and they still are, it's evident in the fact they have adopted my little sister and she is the happiest little person I know. My brother and I both recieved smacks and we talk about it proudly because while the smacks themselves didn't make us better people, they contributed in a small way.