Spanking

[-Samurai-]

I see no problem with spanking your children. There's a huge difference between punishing, and beating.

I grew up in a spanking household. Paddles, hands, belts. I didn't get spanked much because I learned my lesson the first time. I'm not violent. I'm not rebellious. I'm not a psychopath.

You can't say that spanking will turn your kids into violent psychopaths. There's no proof of that. Some kids learn from it. Some rebel. It depends on the child. Some kids are spoiled because they aren't properly disciplined. No discipline can be just as bad as too much.

Kids these days need some damn discipline. They need more than a stern talking to when they misbehave in public. If you see someone spank their child, stay out of it. It isn't your business.

When I was a kid, my two brothers and I were at the store with my mom. My younger brother told her to "stop being a *****" and he got his mouth slapped soo hard. A random woman came up to her and said "You shouldn't hit your kids. You should be ashamed." My mom said "Take him home with you and see if you can go 10 minutes without slapping him.". The woman huffed and left.

Punishment is an ineffective form of discipline.

Proof? It worked pretty well for me and my brothers. And many other people in this thread.

Anecdotal evidence may be used to more effectively illustrate a point, but it is rather weak evidence in and of itself.

As stated previously:

The source: http://ceep.crc.illinois.edu/eecearchive/digests/1997/ramsbu97.pdf

Some highlights:

"Spanking may be ineffective because it does not teach an alternative behavior (American Academy of Pediatrics,1995). In fact, children usually feel resentful, humiliated, and helpless after being spanked (Samalin & Whitney, 1995). The primary lesson they learn appears to be that they should try harder not to get caught."

"One reason parents spank is that they are not aware of other effective strategies for changing children's undesirable behavior. To be effective, discipline that is appropriate for a child's age should be used. Ineffective methods are often based on unrealistic expectations about what children are capable of learning."

Read that already, and I'm living proof that it isn't correct for every child. There is no, and can be no study that shows how every child on Earth will react to specific forms of discipline.

Quote all the hippie whack-jobs you want. They're wrong because they think that their ideas apply to every child.

You know what lesson I learned from getting spanked? Don't do what I did again, because it was more than wrong. Simple.

 

[Worgen]

actually hitting kids probably makes them act like more of little shits then less, once you go to hitting they know you cant really go any further

I'm pretty sure most of those that went through that kind of treatment would disagree with your there... Including the posters in this very thread.

The kids around the area I grew up in that didn't get a good whack, would pretty much control their parents. Telling them to go fuck them selves, even going to attack them. Me, I wouldn't dare, even to this day and I'm 20... Because I would have been killed.

there is a big difference between not hitting your kids and not being a parent, sounds like you had pretty bad parents if you were in fear for your life from them

Though I didn't mean killed quite so literally... I guess it could have been debated on how good my parents are. They started to neglect us when they started playing MMO's and they'd beat us when we were bad. Though they did love and care for us and did turn us into, well I'd say okay people. I wouldn't say I'm really an arsehole and I try to get along with most people... I don't like hurting people out side of competitive fighting (sparring and such at the gym)and neither one of us have ever been to jail.

As for the other kids around us, not so much. Again, as said... I didn't agree with what my parents did... I think it was extreme and I would never do that to my child. I wouldn't be able to look my self in the mirror if I did that.

I just don't think that punishing your kids or giving them a smack on the hand automatically equals they are going to be violent when they get older. I feel there are more things that factor into that. Mainly meaningless violence. The punishments I got were pretty extreme, an out-dated method from 50's and 60's time... However we got punished and beaten for being bad... Whilst I feel those that turn out bad are those that got beaten simply because daddy was drunk or mummy wanted to put her sig out and an ashtray wasn't there.

well the is only one certainty when your raising kids, that you cant be sure what the outcome will be, its possible for someone who was horribly abused to be a wonderful person when they grow up or for someone who was raised in a loving home to turn out to be a cereal killer, kids are pretty much the ultimate throw of the dice, really the best you can do is to apply percentages but at best those are guidelines. But if you hit then at some point the kid is more likely to hit, maybe not when they are young but maybe when they have kids of their own

 

[Koroviev]

I'm pretty sure I turned out all right, and my dad sure didn't spare the rod if I misbehaved. Yeah, I'd say it was necessary a few times.

Anecdotal evidence can be used to more effectively illustrate a point, but it is rather weak support in and of itself.

However, this is an opinion thread. As my opinion is influenced largely by my own experiences growing up and not much else, I'm going to have to ask you to shove it.

Your tone is unnecessarily harsh. I was simply pointing out that an unsupported opinion doesn't hold much weight.

 

[pulse2]

You know, people often talk about what's right and whats wrong, but then, I sit here and watch on the news, this one stabbed that one, that one beat up this one, then I see everyday kids treating old people like shit and swearing and the list goes on. I also watched worlds strictest parents where two unruley binge drinking, swearing, fighting etc kids were sent to africa, when they heard that caning still existed, they were shocked and ranted on about how it wasn't acceptable, but the people there laughed at them because the kids who were caned there have grown up into respectable citizens taking thier studies seriously and respect thier parents, while these two delinquents were sent to africa in the first place for doing the exact opposite.

Appropriate behavior does not automatically follow from the absence of spanking. Discipline is necessary. Punishment is not.

I know people who were beaten to half an inch of thier life as children and would never condone that kind of punishment, but that is an extreme case. Most of the people against smacking are usually those who have never had it and those who have experienced it at it's worst. People like myself will never really see the harm of it because we weren't exposed to that form of beating.

It is easy to say that beating is the number one form of traumatizing a child, but all of these factors completly neglect that with or without beating, a child needs both a form of discipline and a show of affection. Giving a child a firm stare without showing love is no more a better way of raising a child then beating them.

My great grandmother didn't spank her kids, but she didn't seem to understand how to show love either, she didn't believe in hitting a child and was very much against it, but she was still a hypocrite in my eyes, because first and foremost, you should demonstrate to your kids how to love others the way you wish to be loved and the same with respect.

THIS is where most parents fail, children need attention almost 100% of the time, you can't be off doing your own thing, you can't ignore a child to pay more interest in your spouse or such, you can't not get involved in what your children are doing, you can't pretend that your child has great friends in school and everything is peachy. There are many factors in parenting, whether or not you give your child a smack is pretty minor on that list when you look at things from a larger scale.

 

[Death God]

No because it only serves to cause them pain because when I was getting spanked as a little kid I wasn't thinking of not doing it again. I was thinking of how my ass hurt. So I'll choose to take their favorite whatever and break/rip/destroy it. That fixed me when my favorite book was ripped in half.

 

[TehCookie]

-snip-

You say you should reward the child for good behavior, what if the child is already happy with what they have and doesn't want anything more?

If you were going to punish/discipline the kid how would you do it effectively? For examples sake let's say the kid will ignore anything you say (kids do that).

 

[Sovvolf]

Proof? It worked pretty well for me and my brothers. And many other people in this thread.

Same here for me and my brothers... Along with most people in this thread with the looks of things. Though something tell me that the evidence from our own personal experiences won't be enough.

 

[Strain42]

Oh and to add to my post, I'm not saying spank for everything, and I'm not saying it should be the only option.

The ideal solution is just to be an active and attentive parent and try to raise a kid who doesn't do things that would warrant punishment in the first place.

 

[justhereforthemoney]

I like the sexy kind.

 

[Koroviev]

I see no problem with spanking your children. There's a huge difference between punishing, and beating.

I grew up in a spanking household. Paddles, hands, belts. I didn't get spanked much because I learned my lesson the first time. I'm not violent. I'm not rebellious. I'm not a psychopath.

You can't say that spanking will turn your kids into violent psychopaths. There's no proof of that. Some kids learn from it. Some rebel. It depends on the child. Some kids are spoiled because they aren't properly disciplined. No discipline can be just as bad as too much.

Kids these days need some damn discipline. They need more than a stern talking to when they misbehave in public. If you see someone spank their child, stay out of it. It isn't your business.

When I was a kid, my two brothers and I were at the store with my mom. My younger brother told her to "stop being a *****" and he got his mouth slapped soo hard. A random woman came up to her and said "You shouldn't hit your kids. You should be ashamed." My mom said "Take him home with you and see if you can go 10 minutes without slapping him.". The woman huffed and left.

Punishment is an ineffective form of discipline.

Proof? It worked pretty well for me and my brothers. And many other people in this thread.

Anecdotal evidence may be used to more effectively illustrate a point, but it is rather weak evidence in and of itself.

As stated previously:

The source: http://ceep.crc.illinois.edu/eecearchive/digests/1997/ramsbu97.pdf

Some highlights:

"Spanking may be ineffective because it does not teach an alternative behavior (American Academy of Pediatrics,1995). In fact, children usually feel resentful, humiliated, and helpless after being spanked (Samalin & Whitney, 1995). The primary lesson they learn appears to be that they should try harder not to get caught."

"One reason parents spank is that they are not aware of other effective strategies for changing children's undesirable behavior. To be effective, discipline that is appropriate for a child's age should be used. Ineffective methods are often based on unrealistic expectations about what children are capable of learning."

Read that already, and I'm living proof that it isn't correct for every child. There is no, and can be no study that shows how every child on Earth will react to specific forms of discipline.

Quote all the hippie whack-jobs you want. They're wrong because they think that their ideas apply to every child.

You know what lesson I learned from getting spanked? Don't do what I did again, because it was more than wrong. Simple.

No, of course not. There is almost always an exception to the rule. That being said, studies have revealed that spanking is a rather ineffective means of discipline. I cannot adjust the weight of your personal experiences as you perceive them, but as it concerns an argument, they are poor support for your point.

 

[Dr Snakeman]

I happen to know for a fact my siblings and I would have been completely unruly if my mother did not occasionally spank us.
In fact, I reckon she did not do it often enough. She was far too lenient with us. We were seriously little shits.

That does not mean it is required for every punishment, or that every child needs it. Just that it is not something TERRIBLE AND AWFUL that we need to ban forever.

Gotta agree with you here. It annoys me to no end when people think that a good smack is always child abuse. Occasionally, they need it.

 

[pulse2]

No because it only serves to cause them pain because when I was getting spanked as a little kid I wasn't thinking of not doing it again. I was thinking of how my ass hurt. So I'll choose to take their favorite whatever and break/rip/destroy it. That fixed me when my favorite book was ripped in half.

Oh dear, don't get me started on that, the day my dad ripped up my favourite playstation mags, I went completely insane, I screamed all night and turned my room into a bomb, I even ripped up all my school work books in a revenge attack, lmao. Lets just say that did me no favours.

 

[Koroviev]

-snip-

You say you should reward the child for good behavior, what if the child is already happy with what they have and doesn't want anything more?

If you were going to punish/discipline the kid how would you do it effectively? For examples sake let's say the kid will ignore anything you say (kids do that).

In the absence of support, "what ifs" don't amount to much of a counterargument.

 

[pulse2]

-snip-

You say you should reward the child for good behavior, what if the child is already happy with what they have and doesn't want anything more?

If you were going to punish/discipline the kid how would you do it effectively? For examples sake let's say the kid will ignore anything you say (kids do that).

Rewards don't aways have to be in the form of something physically gained, even so much as a "Well done [insert name here], you did a very good job, daddy is proud of you" is enough to make that child want to do that again to be praised, even as adults we like praise, nobody wants to do months of hard work for the boss, he looks at it and either shouts at you about little errors or tell you to get on with the next assignment.....unless you're working for Donald Trump & Alan Sugar, where just the fact you have a job in thier business is good enough, lol

 

[UltraParanoia]

Considering that all of the people I know(trendy assholes that they are) who refuse to spank their children all have kids who are little bastards who do things I would have never considered doing when I was younger for fear of an ass whooping, I'm gonna go ahead and say spanking works quite well as a deterrent.

 

[Koroviev]

You know, people often talk about what's right and whats wrong, but then, I sit here and watch on the news, this one stabbed that one, that one beat up this one, then I see everyday kids treating old people like shit and swearing and the list goes on. I also watched worlds strictest parents where two unruley binge drinking, swearing, fighting etc kids were sent to africa, when they heard that caning still existed, they were shocked and ranted on about how it wasn't acceptable, but the people there laughed at them because the kids who were caned there have grown up into respectable citizens taking thier studies seriously and respect thier parents, while these two delinquents were sent to africa in the first place for doing the exact opposite.

Appropriate behavior does not automatically follow from the absence of spanking. Discipline is necessary. Punishment is not.

I know people who were beaten to half an inch of thier life as children and would never condone that kind of punishment, but that is an extreme case. Most of the people against smacking are usually those who have never had it and those who have experienced it at it's worst. People like myself will never really see the harm of it because we weren't exposed to that form of beating.

It is easy to say that beating is the number one form of traumatizing a child, but all of these factors completly neglect that with or without beating, a child needs both a form of discipline and a show of affection. Giving a child a firm stare without showing love is no more a better way of raising a child then beating them.

My great grandmother didn't spank her kids, but she didn't seem to understand how to show love either, she didn't believe in hitting a child and was very much against it, but she was still a hypocrite in my eyes, because first and foremost, you should demonstrate to your kids how to love others the way you wish to be loved and the same with respect.

THIS is where most parents fail, children need attention almost 100% of the time, you can't be off doing your own thing, you can't ignore a child to pay more interest in your spouse or such, you can't not get involved in what your children are doing, you can't pretend that your child has great friends in school and everything is peachy. There are many factors in parenting, whether or not you give your child a smack is pretty minor on that list when you look at things from a larger scale.

I recognize that there is more to parenting than discipline, however, based on your topic introduction, I was under the impression that this particular thread concerned punishment.

 

[Koroviev]

Considering that all of the people I know(trendy assholes that they are) who refuse to spank their children all have kids who are little bastards who do things I would have never considered doing when I was younger for fear of an ass whooping, I'm gonna go ahead and say spanking works quite well as a deterrent.

The absence of spanking does not imply an effective application of discipline.

 

[Sovvolf]

No, of course not. There is almost always an exception to the rule. That being said, studies have revealed that spanking is a rather ineffective means of discipline. I cannot adjust the weight of your personal experiences as you perceive them, but as it concerns an argument, they are poor support for your point.

However, numerous posts from personal experience on the matter surely carry some weight. One or two, no... Exception to the rule... However the higher percentage of this thread is stating the same as Samurai and I are stating. Surely this has to carry some weight to support this point.

 

[ServebotFrank]

It's necessary but it should NEVER be overused. There should be a high limit before you do it.

 

[Thedarkness77]

Question was spanking classified as child abuse? If this is true its complete BS. My parents grow up in homes where their parents beat them with belts that is child abuse not spanking.