Stolen Pixels #210: The Business Plan

[Canadamus Prime]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
That was hilarious! I was half expecting Wesker to do the Dr. Evil pinky finger thing when he was explaining his master plan there.

How would I handle the Resident Evil reboot?
I'd probably scale back the whole bit with the Umbrella Corporation to the point where they'd only be mentioned in the backstory to explain why there are zombies. Well you'll probably go to a lab or two, but you'll never have to sit through a long winded dialogue bit with an Umbrella Executive or anything.

 

[Tolerant Fanboy]

If I were to reboot Resident Evil, I'd make Umbrella an innocuous biotech company who accidentally made the zombie virus when they were, let's say, trying to engineer a viral anti-neurodegenerative agent. Instead of curing Parkinson's, they've made a tenacious little bugger that turns people into mindless, cannibalistic berserkers, with an emphasis on tenacious. They thought they destroyed all traces of the thing in testing after the obvious bugs reared their brain-craving heads, but just enough got loose, and now Raccoon City (or wherever) has been bitchslapped by George Romero. So, what does Umbrella do? It admits its mistake and asks for help as it desperately tries to make a cure.

In short, I propose making the virus itself the main antagonist, giving it, endurance that makes a cockroach look like a hothouse orchid and a viable lifespan that makes a sequoia look like a mayfly with rapid aging syndrome, and casting Umbrella as an organization capable of saying mea culpa and who then works to correct its errors. More believable behavior by the corporate guys, an excuse for an IN SPACE spinoff, and better rationale for sequels in general. Thoughts?

 

[Infernostrider]

im sure it's been mentioned, but too lazy to read

resident evil 4 was detached from umbrella corps entirely. there might be a couple more aswell ^^

 

[BlackDodongo]

I think if Resident Evil got a good script then people would still complain, "Where is the Resi I used to play!" etc.

 

[The Random One]

It's not that Apple murdered few people, it's that they know who to murder. Efficiency over quantity, you know?

...Wait, Apple makes products?

 

[Kuhkren]

I say have a simple plot that explains why the zombies are there. Then make the game play really fun, scary, and creative. Don't personally play resident evils for the plot, play it for the premise of capping monsters in a creepy environment.

 

[Helmutye]

If you want to do zombies and corporate evil, it is much more scary if you start with the corporation already in power, like they are now. Maybe it could take place sometime in the future, where corporations have amassed such power with their products that they have slowly infused the "common" population with additives or nanobots or something that have effectively turned those people into zombies. Maybe they have even caused physical changes, like making the people stronger and more resilient and resistant to pain so they can be better workers, and so they are inexpensive to maintain. They would be like worker bots but better. Worker bots require maintenance and a lot of expensive raw materials. But biological organisms maintain themselves. They reproduce very cheaply, and as long as you feed them some kind of nutrient slurry they keep on working for decades, and sometimes even a century. All you have to do is highjack their minds.

The game would probably involve the player as some sort of outsider, either a rebel or a freed zombie, who goes against this entire world. And once the people in charge see there is an intruder, they would broadcast some signal that would make all their zombies hostile towards you.

If you're willing to play with the traditional idea of 'zombie' and move away from the dirty and decaying corpse idea, you could come up with some pretty terrifying scenarios--imagine a "Prozac Zombie," a creature that has been chemically lobotomized and is now incapable of feeling anything other than a sick and unnatural happiness no matter what happens. You shoot it and it keeps smiling at you. You blow its arm off and it laughs like someone who just heard a funny joke. Imagine being beset upon by a hoard of people smiling like it's their wedding day and saying pleasant, neighborly things as they walk towards you and try to rip you apart. They are chemically unable to feel pain, fear, or anything unpleasant, and no matter how you kill them they die laughing and smiling. They would look like normal people except just a little bit off, and the world would be very neat and orderly, maybe no different than how it is today. It would be kind of the inverse of a Zombie Apocalypse--rather than destroying society, the zombies ARE society.

 

[The_ModeRazor]

Nice comic, the last bit made me laugh.

And if I did the reboot, I'd replace Umbrella corporation with Generic Evil Corporation corporation, and the main characters would be the crew of a Tiger tank (along with said tank) who got teleported into the evil future, with the tank made scientifically (it's SCIENCE! after all) very durable with SCIENCE fuel that doesn't run out and a SCIENCE gun that can adapt to basically anything at all. Yes, it would be able to shoot refrigerators.
And in one level, you'd have to shoot down a Zeppelin full of evil Generic Evil Corporation corporation people, while storming through the evil countryside full of grass and trees at 80 mp/h, and since the zeppelin is SCIENCE! protected from outside damage caused by projectiles moving faster than a certain speed, you'd have to launch a huge fucking anchor at it (which would naturally go slow enough, because that's exactly what anchors do) tied to a rope, then your (rather elite) main character would epic-climb it to the zeppelin, where you'd fight the evil people and then slide down the anchor-rope , with the zeppelin (having been pimped out with bombs) exploding behind you in a blaze of awesome.
And the foot combat would be TPS, and the good type.
You'd probably get a landshark gun, too.

 

[xqxm]

I actually think Resident Evil 4 was a reboot of sorts. Suddenly everything stupid that came before didn't matter as much, and the only tip-offs that there might have been a game beforehand came from the occasional run-ins with other characters such as Mia and Krauser. If they'd just forget everything that came before and continue with the Las Plagas stuff from RE4, and most importantly, Leon, I think RE6 would do really well.

 

[Arfreid]

I certainly would be interested in a zombie virus. :3

That makes two of us.

Remember kids, zombie is the new living !

 

[Sonofadiddly]

I would reveal Chris Redfield to be the real head of Umbrella. Wait, that's not a reboot. I just hate Chris Redfield and would enjoy shooting him in the face.

 

[Faenus]

Now lets be fair, the entire resident evil story hasnt been complete crap. Resident Evil 4 had a unique story (midget napolean ftw)and it was fun. They used old characters but it was fresh. But ya other then that its been crap.

Wow, people commented before Shamus even posted. Now that's some speed.

What would you do with the Resident Evil story if Capcom asked you to handle the reboot?

I'd make some better characters, for one. Like an intelligent zombie with cool powers, or a villain that you come to respect or empathize with.

Pretty much this idea for a new story

 

[the1ultimate]

If I was handling the reboot I would make an epilogue to the previous series at the beginning of the new series (in which you are an employee of the umbrella corporation) and handwave it as a computer simulation of what would happen if the zombie virus ever did get out (as being screened to new employees, of which you are one). And then of course the virus does get out.

 

[duchaked]

HAHAHA wow this one really made me laugh =D thanks for totally making my day...er, night (well okay it's technically morning)

 

[UberCharlie]

I have an idea. Make the game a character driven story. Something small and personal. Imagine a man caught in the middle of a city. Zombies are everywhere. He's unarmed(to start) and unskilled. Maybe he's even a little bit of a wuss. The man desperately seeks his wife or girlfriend or whatever. She's on the other side of the city. As Jeff (let's call him Jeff) makes his way across the city, he comes across obstacles. He must deal with zombies, lickers, hunters, etc.

Jeff even needs to deal with other people. He could assist someone against a zombie attack, make a quick negotiation for supplies or even fight hostile or simply desperate people. Jeff's actions throughout the game determine how his character grows. He could become a badass, a raving lunatic or an even bigger wuss depending on the player's actions throughout the game.

Jeff's characterization and the amount of time it takes him to reach Natalie (let's call her Natalie) determines not only if she survives, but also shapes how she interacts with him. Did Jeff abandon others to save himself? Then Natalie berates him for his cowardly behavior. Did Jeff kill people in cold blood? Then Natalie reacts to the cold and violent man he has become. Did Jeff become the epitome of awesome morality? Well, then I guess Natalie loves him more, saving the relationship we learn was failing. If Jeff took too long, then maybe he just finds Natalie's lifeless body.

You don't need an obnoxious British prat as an antagonist. Nor do you need a faceless corporation to be a bad guy. You have ZOMBIES and our own shortcomings in the onslaught of disaster.

 

[neilsaccount]

i have an idea, add some more good guys and then having both forces have major battles possibly. Also more in depth about the virus such as environmental effects and maybe having jungles and forests envelope you. Also maybe integrate fear back into the franchise with dark rooms and scenes that make you jump, re5 had none of those.

 

[neilsaccount]

I have an idea. Make the game a character driven story. Something small and personal. Imagine a man caught in the middle of a city. Zombies are everywhere. He's unarmed(to start) and unskilled. Maybe he's even a little bit of a wuss. The man desperately seeks his wife or girlfriend or whatever. She's on the other side of the city. As Jeff (let's call him Jeff) makes his way across the city, he comes across obstacles. He must deal with zombies, lickers, hunters, etc.

Jeff even needs to deal with other people. He could assist someone against a zombie attack, make a quick negotiation for supplies or even fight hostile or simply desperate people. Jeff's actions throughout the game determine how his character grows. He could become a badass, a raving lunatic or an even bigger wuss depending on the player's actions throughout the game.

Jeff's characterization and the amount of time it takes him to reach Natalie (let's call her Natalie) determines not only if she survives, but also shapes how she interacts with him. Did Jeff abandon others to save himself? Then Natalie berates him for his cowardly behavior. Did Jeff kill people in cold blood? Then Natalie reacts to the cold and violent man he has become. Did Jeff become the epitome of awesome morality? Well, then I guess Natalie loves him more, saving the relationship we learn was failing. If Jeff took too long, then maybe he just finds Natalie's lifeless body.

You don't need an obnoxious British prat as an antagonist. Nor do you need a faceless corporation to be a bad guy. You have ZOMBIES and our own shortcomings in the onslaught of disaster.

i like everything besides having the game timed. People should be able to go their own pace without worrying about that.

 

[Silva]

What would I do?

More Las Plagas, less Umbrella.

More new villains, less old plotlines.

In other words: put less crap in, and assume that at least good ingredients will make a good product.

If Capcom can make Resident Evil 4 as good as it was while still mildly alluding to past games, then you can assume that without having to please fans, the next game could be excellent.

Though, they really need to employ a serious Western writer to revamp whatever crappy translations have come across during the series. Even in the RE1 remake back on the Gamecube, "LOOK OUT! IT'S A MONSTERRRR" sounded not just camp or satisfyingly B-grade but extremely narmful.

It'd cost next to nothing in the large scheme of the game's budget, and they'd be saving so much money on copying the same damn engine again that they'd have no excuse not to hire some poor scribbler's skills.

End result: RE4, but with a good story. Watch it become Game of the Year.