Stolen Pixels #241: The Gaming Afterlife
- Thread starter Shamus Young
- Start date
Irridium said:
here, I diffuse all of your arguments.
If you choose to let the queen live, you DO inform the council and let them deal with it, unless you somehow missed that cutscene that happens almost immediately after, you work for cerberus because it was a splinter group that tested the thresher maws, a splinter group that was destroyed in ME 1, This one is your personal opinion, just make up your own reason, and lastly, what undeniable proof? They believe Sovereign to be a geth warship, seeing people turn into something similar in appearance to geth doesn't help your case, and a geth vouching for you makes you look bad.
also, would you rather not have any choice? I'm fine with picking an option out of three to six, but with bioware, people complain if their games aren't plated with diamond studded platinum casing. Why do we hold them to a much higher standard than everyone else?
I dunno, I think Megaman Legends and Zero are pretty redeeming in their quality, but I definitely think Squeenix is a cut above Capcom.Tom Phoenix said:Wouldn't it be more correct to say "In Hell, stories are written by Capcom"? While I am sure recent stories written by Square Enix are bad, they still don't have the reputation of being elementary student bad.
Nevertheless, one of your best comics yet. Hilarious and quite true.
My true complaint is how you fudged Square Enix into the stories for Hell. Every game (barring the already simplistic) will sound stupid when you reduce it to only it's most absurd elements and then string them together. Hell, even FFXIII, possibly the most reviled Final Fantasy had a good story (or at least a good 3/4ths of a story, I haven't beaten it yet). It feels like a cheap dig, rather than true parody. Maybe it's just because I associate the argument of "ridiculous story" with bandwagon FFVII haters. Sorry if I'm just misplacing my rage.
Edit: Snaps, I just remembered the FFXIV debacle. Okay, second most reviled FF game.
This comic is so true, and as a longtime lurker, I made an account just to comment!
- Bioware is definitely one of the best companies for their dialogue, but sometimes it can fail rather poorly. The "Can I punch you in the dick?" Thing is a good, if made-up, example: you have 2-4 ways (In other Bioware games, mostly. I sadly never got to play ME very long but I only remember Good/Bad/Neutral choices, with a 4th option for extra info) of saying the exact same thing which causes the same events to happen in the same way, but only cause minor changes in people's reactions, having no real impact on the scene. In essence, what could have theoretically been an open plot with all the options you have, is basically a railroad plot with occasional input on whether to say "Sure!" "Affirmative" or "Shut up, what I say goes and I say we do what you just suggested which is the same plan I'd agree to in choices one and two."
- Flashy cutscenes and minute long ubermoves are basically all Square does right, sadly. I grew up during the SNES era of gaming (I got my SNES for my 4th birthday) and spent my childhood with Super Mario RPG, Mystic Quest, and Final Fantasy 4 (Only playing FF6 as a teenager, and only renting many other Square titles without ever owning them) Square's stories may have been enough as a kid, but even during the PS1 era, things just began to feel hollow. Too many plotholes, unexplained gaps, emphasis on attacks that take over a minute and deal barely any more damage than a normal attack. Honestly, I just think that anyone who's satisfied with a Square story only likes it because they have never played anything better.
There are a few very minor points to make about what I disagree with, though. Capcom's cutscenes aren't the worst by any stretch, but I guess the joke was to keep everything from the Heaven strip, huh? Oh, and Obsidian could have just as easily been replaced by Namco (Story? See Tales of the Abyss. Testing? I'm pretty sure it was Tales of Graces that was released with heavy bugs that made the game unbeatable.)
- Bioware is definitely one of the best companies for their dialogue, but sometimes it can fail rather poorly. The "Can I punch you in the dick?" Thing is a good, if made-up, example: you have 2-4 ways (In other Bioware games, mostly. I sadly never got to play ME very long but I only remember Good/Bad/Neutral choices, with a 4th option for extra info) of saying the exact same thing which causes the same events to happen in the same way, but only cause minor changes in people's reactions, having no real impact on the scene. In essence, what could have theoretically been an open plot with all the options you have, is basically a railroad plot with occasional input on whether to say "Sure!" "Affirmative" or "Shut up, what I say goes and I say we do what you just suggested which is the same plan I'd agree to in choices one and two."
- Flashy cutscenes and minute long ubermoves are basically all Square does right, sadly. I grew up during the SNES era of gaming (I got my SNES for my 4th birthday) and spent my childhood with Super Mario RPG, Mystic Quest, and Final Fantasy 4 (Only playing FF6 as a teenager, and only renting many other Square titles without ever owning them) Square's stories may have been enough as a kid, but even during the PS1 era, things just began to feel hollow. Too many plotholes, unexplained gaps, emphasis on attacks that take over a minute and deal barely any more damage than a normal attack. Honestly, I just think that anyone who's satisfied with a Square story only likes it because they have never played anything better.
There are a few very minor points to make about what I disagree with, though. Capcom's cutscenes aren't the worst by any stretch, but I guess the joke was to keep everything from the Heaven strip, huh? Oh, and Obsidian could have just as easily been replaced by Namco (Story? See Tales of the Abyss. Testing? I'm pretty sure it was Tales of Graces that was released with heavy bugs that made the game unbeatable.)
And my rebuttle.Warachia said:
Both options for letting the queen live involve you releasing her into the wild. You can't just leave her in the cage, then contact the council. You have to release her, or kill her. There are options between "release a potentially dangerous alien into the wild" and "kill potentially dangerous alien, causing genocide of an entire race". You contact the council after you release/exterminate it. I'd have chosen to leave it in its cage, then contact the council. A perfectly logical option that you do not have for some reason.
Even if it was a splinter group, why couldn't I at least talk about it with the Illusive Man. This is the reason my Shepard is what he is, the reason he makes the choices he makes, the single most defining moment of his life. There should at least me an option to talk about the event which turned Shepard into either an asshole or an unwavering hero.
And about the Reaper proof, you find reaper artifacts on many other worlds, Sovereign was far more advanced then anything the Geth have, and the Geth even state he's a Reaper. And that brings up another point. You'd think they would want to question or interview the Geth, and here you are with a prime candidate for that, and all they do is just pass it off with one sentence? The fuck is with that? I guess they're cool with having a Geth, and the Geth attacked the Citidel remember, just walking around with you.
also, would you rather not have any choice? I'm fine with picking an option out of three to six, but with bioware, people complain if their games aren't plated with diamond studded platinum casing. Why do we hold them to a much higher standard than everyone else?[/quote]
All we want are more choices other then pure black/white choices. And choices that aren't the same choice but phrased differently, thats just the illusion of choice.
Even if it was a splinter group, why couldn't I at least talk about it with the Illusive Man. This is the reason my Shepard is what he is, the reason he makes the choices he makes, the single most defining moment of his life. There should at least me an option to talk about the event which turned Shepard into either an asshole or an unwavering hero.
And about the Reaper proof, you find reaper artifacts on many other worlds, Sovereign was far more advanced then anything the Geth have, and the Geth even state he's a Reaper. And that brings up another point. You'd think they would want to question or interview the Geth, and here you are with a prime candidate for that, and all they do is just pass it off with one sentence? The fuck is with that? I guess they're cool with having a Geth, and the Geth attacked the Citidel remember, just walking around with you.
also, would you rather not have any choice? I'm fine with picking an option out of three to six, but with bioware, people complain if their games aren't plated with diamond studded platinum casing. Why do we hold them to a much higher standard than everyone else?[/quote]
All we want are more choices other then pure black/white choices. And choices that aren't the same choice but phrased differently, thats just the illusion of choice.
It very much depends. I bloody love some of their stories, but some others are, in short, stupid._Janny_ said:
I want to be buried with the Atari Pac-Man cartridges in New Mexico. I suspect the result will be something like the movie Poltergeist. And it will be awesome.
This was a great comic Shamus! Thanks for bringing a smile to my face. 
Also I think the "I am a space marine, aliens are bad" is a huge leap forward compare to Square Enix and it's story telling! @_@
Also I think the "I am a space marine, aliens are bad" is a huge leap forward compare to Square Enix and it's story telling! @_@
Agreed. So funny, and so horribly, beautifully true.John Funk said:But this is still one of the best you've ever done, Shamus
As much as I love bioware, they do occasionally have those moments where someone says: "Shepard, place your face in this bear trap" to which you have the options of replying
"Yes sir, Thank you sir, may I do it again!" OR
"Screw you, I'm sticking my genitals in the bear trap!"