Treblaine said:
"In other studies, Fun itself is found to directly cause cancer"
Haha. Precisely, and the sad thing is, it's only a matter of time before that study is made and that conclusion is drawn. See, I'm almost certain that this "study" did not involve any real research. You know, like in the good ol' days when there were experiments with control groups and stuff like that. No, this was probably done with a vague survey. I'd love to meet the kid who puts her in her place. Not this interview is the way the study was done, but I like to think it could happen.
1. "Hi little Timmy, what are you doing?"
"I'm playing a video game what the hell does it look like I'm doing?"
*Subject has highly aggressive and unpleasant personality.*
2. "What kind of game are you playing?"
"It's called 'Half Life'".
"Oh and what do you do in Half Life?"
"Well you're this physicist who has to fight his way out of a research facility after an experiment goes horribly wrong and aliens from another dimension invade. That and there's a group of soldiers who are trying to kill you to cover the incident up. So you fight them off with a crowbar. Well, that and a bunch of guns.
*Subject believes that pursuits of science involve extreme amounts of violence.*
"Oh right, like I actually believe that; but if you open my backpack and look in my science textbook, I'm sure you'll find a whole chapter in there about how to use a sub-machine gun."
"How do you know what I just wrote?"
"Because I paused the game and I'm capable of reading."
3. "Um, okay. So, how many hours a day do you spend playing video games?"
"Oh I dunno, I guess about 2 hours. Sometime more, like 4-5 hours if it's bucketing rain outside. Ya know, like it is right now.
"So did you have trouble completing your school work?"
"No I'm already done. Did you know that a crowbar is used as a Class 1 lever? I learned that in science class today. It was right before the lesson on sub-machine guns."
*Subject shows extreme amounts of disdain and sarcasm towards others*
4. "So, do you play any other games?"
"Well yeah plenty."
"Like what?"
"Well, sometimes I play strategy games. You build armies and march them into battle to beat your opponent."
*Certain games cause subject to glorify war.*
"There's this one called Starcraft. It gets fairly difficult but I suppose if I got really, really, really, really, really good, I could move to South Korea and make a six-figure salary to play it professionally"
"Six figures?! Wow, no shit!"
"Moooom! Dr. Buzzkill is using swear words up here!"
5. "Hey lady, let me ask you something."
"Yeah, what?"
"What exactly do you do for fun?"
"Well I..."
"Here, let me guess. A few times a week, when you're not bugging 12 year-old kids like me, you go down do the local pub and cry into your Cosmopolitan about how no man will every want an obnoxious shrew like yourself and how you'll be alone until your ovaries are dried up like raisins. So, to compensate you start a massive "study" which is really just an attempt to coax politicians into creating new laws that severely restrict an activity that most people do simply for enjoyment. Have fun creating your contrived fascist legacy."
*Subject feels an almost sociopathic need to destroy others self-esteem.*
"Hey, I read that too! Now seriously are we done here?"
"Alright I'm glad that's over. Now, where was I? Oh yeah, time to fire up that rocket engine..."