Teaching kids about homosexuality

[101flyboy]

No, I do not. I don't think homosexuality should be encouraged, unless it actually comes from the child itself, with as little as external influence as possible.

The same goes for the opposite- The kid will learn soon enough, and probably ask her parents about it- then they should tell her, naturally, as unbiased as they can. If she later finds out she is indeed actually queer, it would be better if she does not have any subconscious issues with it inherited from her parents.

But still, they should not be handled equally, as heterosexuality is still the norm- and the natural way to reproduce. If the children are gay, they will probably find it out themselves. The important thing is to then make sure they are neither ashamed or feel otherwise repressed.

No offense, but bullshit. Gay/lesbian teens need help too. Not secrecy or avoidance of their sexuality. They need HELP too, they need ADVICE, they need KNOWLEDGE. Not saying anything is essentially creating shame around their sexuality, which is a major source of the reason gay teens commit suicide.

Heterosexuality is the norm, and guess what, homosexuality is normal too. In fact, most kids have same-sex thoughts/encounters. And since it's a reality of life, it's not something that should be seen as abnormal. The only subconscious issues would be revolving around not being open or honest with the REALITIES of life.

 

[Jamous]

Maybe not go into specifics? But apart from that, go for it, methinks.

 

[101flyboy]

I don't think parents should shy away from talking about it but at the same time I wouldn't suggest mentioning it when having 'the talk'. It's something that kids will become curious about in time and that's when a parent should talk about it but including it in talking about straight relatonships might just confuse them.

Being gay is not confusion. It's a legitimate sexual orientation. It develops same as heterosexual attraction. Gay/lesbian teens are as worthy of understanding and being helped in figuring out their sexuality as straight teens, and all kids should understand the realities of life, otherwise THAT will create confusion.

 

[random_bars]

I couldn't be arsed to read through the whole 6 page discussion, just wanna throw this out there:

Kids don't develop a sexuality until their teens. Telling a 7 year old girl about the possibility of being attracted to other women instead of men, at a time when she still thinks boys are icky, could confuse her and give her mixed messages. Would you still be happy about being totally open and honest if your kid gets the wrong end of the stick and announces to you that they're gay, before they even reach the age where they'd consider ANYONE in a sexual way?

Not saying I have any evidence this would happen, it's just something that came to my mind.

Since sexual orientation is not "created", these are false statements. Also, saying kids don't develop sexually until their teens, is false as well. Kids are developing sexually at 7 years old. Their immutable sexual attractions don't start fully emerging until early adolescence/early teen years.

Being gay/lesbian is not a "wrong end of the stick" or "confusion". There is nothing wrong in being non-heterosexual. Implying that there is, is offensive.

I didn't mean that they'd turn gay or anything. All I meant is that they might believe that because of currently being at an age where they don't like boys, they could potentially think "oh, I'm gay then". Note here that I am not saying that them actually being homosexual is a bad thing in any way. What I'm saying is that there's the potential to cause them to think they're gay when they're a kid, then feel confused if they find they're not as they become teenagers and discover what their sexuality actually is. Would this happen realistically? No idea. It's just something I thought of.

 

[101flyboy]

No, I do not. I don't think homosexuality should be encouraged, unless it actually comes from the child itself, with as little as external influence as possible.

...or the kid might catch the gay?

You would be amazed how many people think they have a sexuality they indeed have not (at least that's what I firmly believe). I feel sorry for people under 18 who claim to be homosexual, as it's more often than not insecurity.

No, it's actually gay/lesbian teens who have come to terms with their sexuality, like straight teens. Not everyone is born to be straight, so therefore not just heterosexuality should be taught to children.

 

[ShadowsofHope]

Yes, they should absolutely be informed of both at the same time.
The way I see it, what's the fucking difference?

Its not like giving them information about something will make them more interested in it.
However, it has been proven over and over and over time after time after fucking time that withholding information makes something more interesting to people. We want to know why we're not being told something. Don't make a big deal out of this kind of thing, because it isn't a big deal.

And I'm sorry to OP, but your sister sounds like a bigot to me if she's trying to set heterosexuality up as the "norm". Because that is exactly what all of the bigots do, regardless of what they are prejudiced against: they set their own situation up as the "norm" and devalue everything else or at least whatever they deem to be the "opposite" or "abnormal".

This all stems from how I view the issue as a whole: it doesn't matter if sexuality is biology or if its a choice; neither case is a valid reason to deny someone their human rights.
And encouraging ignorance in children is a step towards encouraging bigotry and hatred in children.

But thats the point, isnt it? It all stems from how YOU view the issue. Which is fine, everyone has opinions. But his sister doesnt view it the same way, nor do I. How does that make it right to call us bigots? No, you didnt call me a bigot directly, but a blanket statement like that certainly includes me.

That all depends. Why do you view homosexuality with a negative connotation, personally?

I simply do not believe it is right, personally. However, I wouldnt treat anyone any differently because of it, just like I wouldnt treat anyone differently because of their skin color, or political differences, etc. etc. As per my earlier post, I believe in treating others how you want to be treated, and do so.

I understand that, but your justification is still one of irrationality. Why do you not believe it is right? What makes it "wrong"? What qualifications do you have to decide whether or not an individuals sexuality is "right" or "wrong"?

Also, opinions on this subject can be wrong. If you find homosexuality is wrong just.. because, then your opinion is quite frankly worthless. If you have a reasonable justification for why you would think so otherwise, then please do share.

Simply put, I was raised in a strongly christian home. So my beliefs are that its wrong. You live in your world, with your beliefs, and I live in mine. My children, that my wife and I are raising, feeding, loving, and caring for, are OUR children, and are being raised in our world. I will not teach them that it is wrong, I will let them make that decision on their own. However, I will teach them to treat people with respect, and I will teach them about sex when the time comes.

My children will be raised believing in the bible. My children will be raised to believe in God. My children will be raised to treat other people with respect. My children will be raised to respect the American Flag. They go to a school where they still say the Pledge of Allegiance to the Flag. This is my world, this is how I am raising my children, and I am very happy with that, and very content with that.

Fair enough. I do not believe anyone has said you could not do such, otherwise. While I disagree entirely on the "validity" of viewing sexuality through the lenses of the Bible (considering the time frame most of the authors wrote the ideals in), you are free to do as you wish. It is at least good to hear you are following the Golden Rule, in which so many of your faith tend to discard as soon as bigotry is convenient.

 

[Dags90]

I really don't get how telling children that "Some boys have boyfriends and some girls have girlfriends" is going to hurt them. I've never seen anything supporting the "telling kids about teh gays makes them gay/confused" and I wouldn't care if my kids were gay, anyway.

 

[101flyboy]

I'd say no. There's nothing wrong with parents talking about both, but not at the same time and heterosexuality first.

I wouldn't teach them both at the same time for the same reason I wouldn't try to teach the kid multiplication and division simultaneously with addition and subtraction. Let them get a firm grasp on the basic concept of sexuality first, then discuss differing instances.

The basic concepts of sexuality, includes homosexuality.

 

[101flyboy]

I think the reasons people have said for no are pretty good. For me it would depend entirely on the kid's surroundings. If, for example, I had a sibling that was gay and my kid grew up with a gay uncle/auntie, then I would think it was appropriate to explain homo and heterosexuality at the same time. If there's been little exposure so far, I'd probably wait a bit longer, but when the time came, explain it properly.

After all-

The kid will learn soon enough, and probably ask her parents about it- then they should tell her, naturally, as unbiased as they can. If she later finds out she is indeed actually queer, it would be better if she does not have any subconscious issues with it inherited from her parents.

Is a really good point. I'm pretty sure every teen wonders if they are (or could be gay) at some point, even if it's only for a moment followed by 'nah, there's no way!' And to even have the suspicion that that particular train of thought could have been brought on from the parents could be extremely damaging, whether it be implying that the parents are guiding them that way, or themselves being wary of it or something.

So I think I would wait until asked about it.

Kids don't "become" attracted to the same-sex. Parents don't turn kids gay. And yes, most kids have had same-sex thoughts. Homosexuality is open these days, it's all around them. It's a reality of life. Therefore, kids need to know what it is about, so that they can be somewhat knowledgeable when they potentially encounter these situations or feeling an attraction towards the same-sex. Not doing otherwise is making it seem as if homosexuality is abnormal or inappropriate, and that is offensive.

 

[loc978]

Seven's a little young to be talking about love and relationships. Biology, fine... but she's too young to develop sexuality.

 

[Rockchimp69]

No, I do not. I don't think homosexuality should be encouraged, unless it actually comes from the child itself, with as little as external influence as possible.

The same goes for the opposite- The kid will learn soon enough, and probably ask her parents about it- then they should tell her, naturally, as unbiased as they can. If she later finds out she is indeed actually queer, it would be better if she does not have any subconscious issues with it inherited from her parents.

But still, they should not be handled equally, as heterosexuality is still the norm- and the natural way to reproduce. If the children are gay, they will probably find it out themselves. The important thing is to then make sure they are neither ashamed or feel otherwise repressed.

I don't think OP means it should be "encouraged" rather that the child should be brought up with knowledge of homosexuality so that she won't have any pressure about coming it, should she realise she's gay.

 

[One of Many]

My pregnant sister has a 7 year old step-daughter who's in the process of learning about the birds and the bees. I was a little rattled to learn that my sister is only teaching her about hetrosexual relations, saying that it would be 'inappropriate' to tell her about homosexuality at such an early age as the step-daughter might discuss it at school and awkward phone calls from the teachers might follow. Since my sister is in a hetrosexual marriage she argued that it's what her step-daughter encounters on a daily basis, and thus is what she should be taught as the 'norm'.

Do you escapists think that children should be told about homosexuality and homosexual relationships at the same time as they're learning about straight relationships?

Well when I was taught about the birds and the bees, I was learning about how babies were made, not relationships. As far as I know, when a pair of homosexuals have a physical relationship, it doesn't end up producing a baby.

 

[101flyboy]

I couldn't be arsed to read through the whole 6 page discussion, just wanna throw this out there:

Kids don't develop a sexuality until their teens. Telling a 7 year old girl about the possibility of being attracted to other women instead of men, at a time when she still thinks boys are icky, could confuse her and give her mixed messages. Would you still be happy about being totally open and honest if your kid gets the wrong end of the stick and announces to you that they're gay, before they even reach the age where they'd consider ANYONE in a sexual way?

Not saying I have any evidence this would happen, it's just something that came to my mind.

Since sexual orientation is not "created", these are false statements. Also, saying kids don't develop sexually until their teens, is false as well. Kids are developing sexually at 7 years old. Their immutable sexual attractions don't start fully emerging until early adolescence/early teen years.

Being gay/lesbian is not a "wrong end of the stick" or "confusion". There is nothing wrong in being non-heterosexual. Implying that there is, is offensive.

I didn't mean that they'd turn gay or anything. All I meant is that they might believe that because of currently being at an age where they don't like boys, they could potentially think "oh, I'm gay then". Note here that I am not saying that them actually being homosexual is a bad thing in any way. What I'm saying is that there's the potential to cause them to think they're gay when they're a kid, then feel confused if they find they're not as they become teenagers and discover what their sexuality actually is. Would this happen realistically? No idea. It's just something I thought of.

OK, thanks for the clarification. I don't think that actually happens, since, as you say, when their start discovering their true sexual identity, that is what they are going to connect to. Simply saying "some girls like girls, some girls like guys", that alone won't lead a kid into actually thinking "I'm a lesbian." Kids........no offense, they aren't *that* smart. They aren't going to connect A+B=C in that sort of way, since they obviously don't really understand sexuality past the basics, or at least one would think that's all they should know at 7. Once they mature, then that's when obviously, they'll start to realize their true sexuality, and from there you continue to guide that child in an appropriate ways.

 

[Zorrok the Merciless]

You shouldn't teach a kid about homosexuality for the same reason you shouldn't teach them about bestiality or necrophilia. They're not legitimate forms of reproduction or sex, even. They're just weird things people do to things that shouldn't be done to them. Teach them to keep their privates away from animals, dead people, and people of the same sex and then we all win!

 

[101flyboy]

My pregnant sister has a 7 year old step-daughter who's in the process of learning about the birds and the bees. I was a little rattled to learn that my sister is only teaching her about hetrosexual relations, saying that it would be 'inappropriate' to tell her about homosexuality at such an early age as the step-daughter might discuss it at school and awkward phone calls from the teachers might follow. Since my sister is in a hetrosexual marriage she argued that it's what her step-daughter encounters on a daily basis, and thus is what she should be taught as the 'norm'.

Do you escapists think that children should be told about homosexuality and homosexual relationships at the same time as they're learning about straight relationships?

Well when I was taught about the birds and the bees, I was learning about how babies were made, not relationships. As far as I know, when a pair of homosexuals have a physical relationship, it doesn't end up producing a baby.

The birds and the bees is inherently discussing relationships. A sexual relationship. Without a sexual relationship, there are no birds or bees.

 

[101flyboy]

You shouldn't teach a kid about homosexuality for the same reason you shouldn't teach them about bestiality or necrophilia. They're not legitimate forms of reproduction or sex, even. They're just weird things people do to things that shouldn't be done to them. Teach them to keep their privates away from animals, dead people, and people of the same sex and then we all win!

Um............funny trolling?

 

[101flyboy]

No, I do not. I don't think homosexuality should be encouraged, unless it actually comes from the child itself, with as little as external influence as possible.

...or the kid might catch the gay?

You would be amazed how many people think they have a sexuality they indeed have not (at least that's what I firmly believe). I laugh at people under 18 who claim to be homosexual, as it's more often than not insecurity.

That I can agree with. Lots of 'bisexual' kids running around because it's the cool thing to be this week. My point was just that in my oppinion, information is important when building tolerance. If she doesn't know about gays, they'll always be strange and different. Teach a kid from the start that people are different and like different things, and maybe the social stigma will eventually go away.

But there's a difference between learning about sex and teach kids about sexual orientations. Homosexuality is something for when they're a bit older methinks.

Heterosexuality is sex, and homosexuality is sex. Homosexuality is sexual orientation, and heterosexuality is sexual orientation.

 

[captainwolfos]

Being gay myself, this may seem somewhat biased, but here we go:

My parents, whether they admit it or not, are slightly homophobic. They didn't teach me about homosexuality at all, and reflecting back, I wish they had. I figured out quite early on that I'm attracted to wimmenz, and that scared me. It took me a full six years to come out and be comfortable with it. (But still not nearly comfortable enough to tell my parents...)
Still, I wish they'd have told me about it early on. Maybe that way it would have been easier for me.

So yes. I would say tell the kid. Maybe not at the same time, or whatever, but make sure she knows.

Spoiler: And now for something completely different:

 

[101flyboy]

At that age I see no reason to go beyond the common romantic relationships the child is likely to encounter and pick up on.

When it eventually discover for itself that other forms of romantic relationships exist, then it's of course important to explain it properly and that there's nothing wrong with it. But let it occur in conjunction with the child's own development and curiosity.

By that time, it may be too late. A kid may be recognizing their sexuality, but they don't understand it, they see everyone isn't gay like them, and people are trying to keep it secret. Therefore it needs to be discussed so that kids understand that, no, not everyone is straight, and that you're sexual attractions may be this way, or may go that way. Simply not talking about it creates stigma and confusion, not openly discussing it.

 

[James Joseph Emerald]

"When a man and woman love each other very much, the man puts his penis into a woman's vagina, and that's how babies are made. Also sometimes men love men and so the man puts his penis into another man's anus, but this doesn't make babies. Alternatively they rub their penises together, which is called 'frottage'. Also, some people like to tie each other up and then pee on each other, though you should always ask permission from your partner before doing that. Also, sometimes people have sex for reasons other than love, such as for money, which is called 'prostitution', or for revenge, like when you saw mommy in bed with a man who wasn't daddy, which is called 'getting pay back for four long years of oppressive patriarchal dominance'."

Heh, that got kind of long.
Anyway, my point is that your job as a parent is to make things less confusing, not more. It's up to the individual parents how to do that. If homosexuality isn't a major issue in their kid's life, why make it one? I mean, I could make an argument about the importance of teaching your children about the hardships Irish immigrants in America went through, and why the Lucky Charms leprechaun is a horrible throw-back to extremely prejudiced attitudes towards the Irish. But try explaining that to a kid who just wants to eat the damn marshmallows.