Teaching kids about homosexuality

[Gigano]

At that age I see no reason to go beyond the common romantic relationships the child is likely to encounter and pick up on.

When it eventually discover for itself that other forms of romantic relationships exist, then it's of course important to explain it properly and that there's nothing wrong with it. But let it occur in conjunction with the child's own development and curiosity.

By that time, it may be too late. A kid may be recognizing their sexuality, but they don't understand it, they see everyone isn't gay like them, and people are trying to keep it secret. Therefore it needs to be discussed so that kids understand that, no, not everyone is straight, and that you're sexual attractions may be this way, or may go that way. Simply not talking about it creates stigma and confusion, not openly discussing it.

I still believe they need to be at an age where they can comprehend the concept of sexuality - rather than mere romancing - before engaging in explaining the many varied forms of harmless sexual attractions, innocent and equal as they are to any reasonable adult.

There are many varied sexual attractions which do no harm - coprophilia, consensual bondage etc - and which are thus all completely and utterly OK, but I'm not convinced that relegating them to the child without it giving any prior reason or showing any prior interest in them will always provoke a positive long-term reaction.

Let the child give reason for such discussion. If it see two men kissing, and ask questions, then explain it, and once it's ready to learn about sex and sexual attraction a wide range of sexual attractions - or at least the fact that they're all totally OK as long as they're consensual - should of course be discussed.

 

[101flyboy]

As I said in my post, this is an entirely different discussion. There's a big difference between explaining the mechanics of sexual intercourse to a child and teaching a child about different sexualities.

I can see where you're coming from, but if I were explaining the mechanics of sexual intercourse to my child simply as a way of making babies, they may then get confused when they are exposed to homosexual scenarios (in a book, films, classmates, whatever) where no child can be produced. Ergo, I would explain that heterosexual sex alone can produce children, but there are people who are attracted to people of the same sex, and this cannot produce children. From my own perspective, I would also tell my child I consider neither situation better or worse than the next one, so long as my child is happy. You can't really discuss the mechanics of sex by itself without considering the emotional impact, as it is a social situation that involves the feelings of two (...or more) people.

I can see what you mean, but in the edit of the post you quoted, which I put in after you quoted me, I said that usually this talk come from a child asking where babies come from. In that scenario, explaining homosexual sex would be bit confusing for them. Plus I can't really think of any scenario where a child of 7 would be exposed to homosexual themes and I believe if they were, they'd ask their parents about it, which they should then lead to them explaining it to their child. I'm not against explaining homosexuality to children by any means, but I think there aren't many situations where it's necessary.

Explaining homosexuality isn't confusing unless you make it confusing. Simply saying that some are heterosexual and some are homosexual is not confusing. YOU may be confused but that doesn't make it confusing in general. And yes, it is very necessary to teach kids about homosexuality, since most kids have homosexual thoughts, a major amount of kids are homosexual themselves, and the truth is, most kids do encounter some type of homosexual situation in their youth. Keeping it all secretive is what creates confusion.

 

[Fleaman]

Just do everything. Hold a three-day seminar to cover all the crazy shit that's gonna go down between fourth and eighth grade: sex, sexuality, puberty, popularity, and drugs.

Monday: Where babies come from
Tuesday: Hair down there
Wednesday: Weeeeeeeeeed

 

[101flyboy]

My pregnant sister has a 7 year old step-daughter who's in the process of learning about the birds and the bees. I was a little rattled to learn that my sister is only teaching her about hetrosexual relations, saying that it would be 'inappropriate' to tell her about homosexuality at such an early age as the step-daughter might discuss it at school and awkward phone calls from the teachers might follow. Since my sister is in a hetrosexual marriage she argued that it's what her step-daughter encounters on a daily basis, and thus is what she should be taught as the 'norm'.

Do you escapists think that children should be told about homosexuality and homosexual relationships at the same time as they're learning about straight relationships?

Well when I was taught about the birds and the bees, I was learning about how babies were made, not relationships. As far as I know, when a pair of homosexuals have a physical relationship, it doesn't end up producing a baby.

The birds and the bees is inherently discussing relationships. A sexual relationship. Without a sexual relationship, there are no birds or bees.

True, no sex no baby but sex does not equal love. While I would agree that kids should be taught about test tube babies and artificial insemination, what point would there be in adding a blurb saying something along the lines of "Gays are okay and have sex too", when we're teaching kids about the biology part of making a baby?

The whole discussion is about sex. So, if you are teaching kids about sex, just say "when 2 people love each other"............then discuss the fact that a woman and a man come together, and they can have babies. Then say some men and men/women and women come together, and then discuss test tube/IVF/adoption etc, that while two people of the same-sex don't have kids in the same way two people of the opposite sex do, there are plenty of other ways for them to be parents.

I can understand not doing it all at one time, but since it's a reality of life, it needs to be discussed.

 

[Smooth Operator]

The kids are probably the only ones that could understand that concept without bias that we all seem to be so firmly set into.

I say teach your kids everything there is to this world, and someday they will teach you to understand it a little better.

 

[Tyr2440]

Homosexuality, heterosexuality, bisexuality, nonsexuality, etc, it should be said that none of that is important. None of that matters.
Kids should be taught that only love matters, it doesn't matter about the physical sex of the person.
Sure, tell them that only a heterosexual relationship brings a new life into the world (without the intervention of science), but don't make them think they have to go out and have kids. They can be who they want, and be with whoever they want. Plenty of kids out there who need to be adopted by loving parents anyway.

I?ve seen a lot of good argument and speculation about this topic (with the exception of a troll or two) that made me sign up.

I think fundamentally the most damaging thing in teaching any child about sex at an early age is that it is something done for pleasure as well as procreation, that the whole process as a subject should be kept simple as possible between a man and a woman. I totally agree that there?s nothing wrong with teaching a child about homosexual relationships or any relationship but id have thought that would come under the love category, that it?s fine for two men/women to love each other and not sex which is being taught to a child in an explanation of where they came from, Personally I think that?s a failing of the education system. there is nothing wrong with teaching that there can be love love of any type, but I do agree that homosexuality , as well as the intricacies of heterosexual relationships (the bedroom part) should be covered in sex education and not the ?birds and the bee?s? which I find to be quite different.

I know when I was in primary school I was more worried about being able to run around in the park after my dog or dodging my bedtime to stay up an hour later, and that when it comes down to it I don?t think many younger children would even understand the concepts around it (i know i didn?t)

J

 

[101flyboy]

At that age I see no reason to go beyond the common romantic relationships the child is likely to encounter and pick up on.

When it eventually discover for itself that other forms of romantic relationships exist, then it's of course important to explain it properly and that there's nothing wrong with it. But let it occur in conjunction with the child's own development and curiosity.

By that time, it may be too late. A kid may be recognizing their sexuality, but they don't understand it, they see everyone isn't gay like them, and people are trying to keep it secret. Therefore it needs to be discussed so that kids understand that, no, not everyone is straight, and that you're sexual attractions may be this way, or may go that way. Simply not talking about it creates stigma and confusion, not openly discussing it.

I still believe they need to be at an age where they can comprehend the concept of sexuality - rather than mere romancing - before engaging in explaining the many varied forms of harmless sexual attractions, innocent and equal as they are to any reasonable adult.

There are many varied sexual attractions which do no harm - coprophilia, consensual bondage etc - and which are thus all completely and utterly OK, but I'm not convinced that relegating them to the child without it giving any prior reason or showing any prior interest in them will always provoke a positive long-term reaction.

Let the child give reason for such discussion. If it see two men kissing, and ask questions, then explain it, and once it's ready to learn about sex and sexual attraction a wide range of sexual attractions - or at least the fact that they're all totally OK as long as they're consensual - should of course be discussed.

Coprophilia and bondage are sexual fetishes, not sexual orientations. Sexual orientations, heterosexuality and homosexuality, are the basics of life. The overall concept of sexuality and romancing both include homosexuality. Saying "men and women fuck and have babies." Well, yeah, but that's not discussing like, why are they having sex, what does it mean to have a baby, and so on and so forth. And then discussing the fact that not all men are with women or women with men. These are the basics as well. And they are realities of life that kids will encounter.

If a child sees 2 men kissing, if you teach them beforehand about the reality that some men like men, then there wouldn't be any potential confusion or drama. They would understand it. If they start feeling some attraction towards the same-sex, they would understand it. Keeping it closeted would cause the confusion.

 

[SteewpidZombie]

I would totally teach kids about it. The more you sidestep or avoid discussing it, the more closed minded the child will be to the subject in the future. If you don't tell them, they won't think of it as appropriate or normal in society and may become homophobic.

 

[101flyboy]

My pregnant sister has a 7 year old step-daughter who's in the process of learning about the birds and the bees. I was a little rattled to learn that my sister is only teaching her about hetrosexual relations, saying that it would be 'inappropriate' to tell her about homosexuality at such an early age as the step-daughter might discuss it at school and awkward phone calls from the teachers might follow. Since my sister is in a hetrosexual marriage she argued that it's what her step-daughter encounters on a daily basis, and thus is what she should be taught as the 'norm'.

Do you escapists think that children should be told about homosexuality and homosexual relationships at the same time as they're learning about straight relationships?

well, i think your sister was right, if the girl is so young, you shouldn't overly complicate things with being "politically correct".

Reality is not politically correct.

 

[Casual Shinji]

I don't think kids should get lectures about homosexuality forced on them. Just as I don't think they should get lectures about hetreosexuality forced on them. Let kids by nice and naive for a while before dumping all this complicated stuff on them.

If they're curious about the subject they'll ask you in their own due time... Unless ofcourse they don't know yet when they're about to enter high school, then you need to have a serious sit-down.

This seems reasonable on the surface, but it isn't. Because kids encounter heterosexuality and these days in most cases homosexuality on an every day basis. So, it's not something you can hide. Instead you need to teach kids about the facts of life so that when they do encounter these things or start realizing "hey, I'm attracted to ____," they aren't ignorant going into the situation, which could lead to bad decisions being made.

I'm not saying hide it, just don't blindside them with lectures about sexuality. Little kids won't know what to do when a slew of information about something so complex is suddenly unleashed upon them.

If a kid encounters homosexuality in real life or on TV, he/she is going to ask questions about it or comment on it. And a good parent knows how to gage their child's inquisitory nature. Don't force the information, just let it gradually reveal itself.

 

[101flyboy]

My pregnant sister has a 7 year old step-daughter who's in the process of learning about the birds and the bees. I was a little rattled to learn that my sister is only teaching her about hetrosexual relations, saying that it would be 'inappropriate' to tell her about homosexuality at such an early age as the step-daughter might discuss it at school and awkward phone calls from the teachers might follow. Since my sister is in a hetrosexual marriage she argued that it's what her step-daughter encounters on a daily basis, and thus is what she should be taught as the 'norm'.

Do you escapists think that children should be told about homosexuality and homosexual relationships at the same time as they're learning about straight relationships?

Well when I was taught about the birds and the bees, I was learning about how babies were made, not relationships. As far as I know, when a pair of homosexuals have a physical relationship, it doesn't end up producing a baby.

The birds and the bees is inherently discussing relationships. A sexual relationship. Without a sexual relationship, there are no birds or bees.

True, no sex no baby but sex does not equal love. While I would agree that kids should be taught about test tube babies and artificial insemination, what point would there be in adding a blurb saying something along the lines of "Gays are okay and have sex too", when we're teaching kids about the biology part of making a baby?

The whole discussion is about sex. So, if you are teaching kids about sex, just say "when 2 people love each other"............then discuss the fact that a woman and a man come together, and they can have babies. Then say some men and men/women and women come together, and then discuss test tube/IVF/adoption etc, that while two people of the same-sex don't have kids in the same way two people of the opposite sex do, there are plenty of other ways for them to be parents.

I can understand not doing it all at one time, but since it's a reality of life, it needs to be discussed.

Have people lost track of the fact this is a 7 year old?

Yeah, lets explain IVF, infertility drugs, and lots of other stuff that a 7 year old really doesn't need to know about.

Even if you were going to an IVF clinic a 7 year old doesn't need the details about what you are doing at the doctor beyond, at most "the doctor is going to try and help us make you a little brother or sister". Really that's all most 7 year olds care to know.

I didn't bring up IVF. I said IF you were going to discuss that, then that's how you should do it. That's something a bit more complicating that I would agree, is something that should be maybe held off until they reach an age where they can comprehend it fully, but if they do ask about it, be honest about it, in an appropriate way.

 

[bz316]

It might be a good idea to talk to kids about homosexuality as well as heterosexuality. That way, if they turn out to be bi-sexual or homosexual, they won't feel as though there is something wrong with them due to the fact that they were only taught about one kind of orientation.

 

[Popido]

This thread is starting to sound more and more about gay rights than growning children...

...
Well some of you people sound sincere about this, but I still think that you're overreacting.

 

[mumakurau]

Seriously, though, I believe we should teach children about homosexual relations at the same capacity as other things - at the discretion of the parent, of course. It's their children, after all. Should they choose to teach them about homosexual relations as they would heterosexual, it would go a LONG way to erasing the stigma and easing the worries of children how may actually be gay.

No, I do not. I don't think homosexuality should be encouraged, unless it actually comes from the child itself, with as little as external influence as possible.

The same goes for the opposite- The kid will learn soon enough, and probably ask her parents about it- then they should tell her, naturally, as unbiased as they can. If she later finds out she is indeed actually queer, it would be better if she does not have any subconscious issues with it inherited from her parents.

But still, they should not be handled equally, as heterosexuality is still the norm- and the natural way to reproduce. If the children are gay, they will probably find it out themselves. The important thing is to then make sure they are neither ashamed or feel otherwise repressed.

Whether the user meant it or not, I can't help but feel a sort of homophobic vibe from this post. To approach homosexuality in a retroactive fashion only helps the stigma. To make it known that it "isn't right" even though that besides sexual preferences, gays and lesbians are people like everybody else.

Furthermore, to say heterosexuality is the norm is like saying that being right-handed is the norm. Sure, their may be more right-handed people than left-handed people, but that doesn't mean left-handed people are abnormal. Like a person's handedness, many forms of sexuality have been around since the beginning.

Yes, heterosexual intercourse is the only way for new life to be born. However, encouraging everybody to do so will only create problems. Whether people believe it or not, the world is overpopulated. With overpopulation comes scarcity in resource (just because it isn't happening to you, does not mean it isn't happening elsewhere). Homosexuals are actually doing the world a grand favor in the long run. They cannot produce new life (in most cases*) and many are willing to give homes and a family to children in need of both.

Some may argue that allowing the general acceptance of homosexuality will make it okay for people to willingly end there genetic legacy, which may be the biggest concern to some parents. Personally, I believe such a thing to be arbitrary. Yes, I am here today to say these things because those before me created a union of a man and a woman, but that was their choice (at least, I hope). They were people in control of their own destiny.

But I digress...

My point: Yes, we should teach children about homosexuality. We should teach them because at the end of the day sexuality doesn't matter and that we should love our children despite their preferences.

 

[blindthrall]

I think whomever made the kid can raise them however they damn well please. It's none of the Internet's business.

 

[Gigano]

...

Coprophilia and bondage are sexual fetishes, not sexual orientations. Sexual orientations, heterosexuality and homosexuality, are the basics of life. The overall concept of sexuality and romancing both include homosexuality. Saying "men and women fuck and have babies." Well, yeah, but that's not discussing like, why are they having sex, what does it mean to have a baby, and so on and so forth. And then discussing the fact that not all men are with women or women with men. These are the basics as well. And they are realities of life that kids will encounter.

If a child sees 2 men kissing, if you teach them beforehand about the reality that some men like men, then there wouldn't be any potential confusion or drama. They would understand it. If they start feeling some attraction towards the same-sex, they would understand it. Keeping it closeted would cause the confusion.

Undoubtedly they are part of reality, but you should be introduced to concepts in it in correlation with your ability to understand it. I doubt sexuality is something a 7 year old child would speculate much on, so only explaining the basics of what it'll see everywhere (kissing), and perhaps the physical steps required to create a baby (without really touching on the other reasons adults enjoy copious amounts of that process) should suffice at that age.

Other than superficially explaining these things which it will inevitably encounter at an early age, I feel initiative should rest with the child and its own curiosity, to ensure its natural modesty is respected, and that it's not brought into a world it does not have the necessary precondition to understand, much less appreciate.

In their reactions to any such questions the parents should of course be accepting of any plurality in the area that isn't inherently harmful, but I feel that letting the world gradually expand rather than throw it all at them to sort out is the way to go.

 

[Sporky111]

I'm a little disgusted at how many people think that teaching kids about homosexuality is about teaching them about gay sex.

Why make it such a big deal? It could just be something like, "Some boys want to have a girlfriend, and some boys want to have a boyfriend." There's something that a child can learn in as innocent a way as possible. And they won't grow up homophobic or insecure if they do turn out not to be straight.

I wish I had that when I was a kid. I didn't even have a concept of homosexuality until I was in junior high and suddenly everyone used "gay" as an insult and it makes you think it's the worst thing you could ever be.

 

[Klarinette]

Ugh... "the norm." Just because it's not normal to you doesn't mean it isn't normal to a shit-tonne of other people. Also, not teaching them about it isn't going to keep them from being exposed to it in life.

 

[Of-the-Lion]

Definately. Physicist Max Planck famously stated:
?A new scientific truth does not triumph by convincing its opponents and making them see the light, but rather because its opponents eventually die, and a new generation grows up that is familiar with it?

 

[The_ModeRazor]

Well, the Jedi never told their little students about the Dark Side, because that's Evil. And so many little jedi students fell to the Dark Side for some reason.
Except that gay people are not cool, and the above comparison is completely pointless. I don't care when or even if you decide to teach your kids about gay relations. I don't like gay people. I'm not gonna bash them over the head with a baseball bat, or gather a nazi mob to lynch them, but I dislike them.