BlueInkAlchemist said:
posted [http://machineageproductions.com/] the following ten reasons why Pac-Man should wrap his big yellow mouth around the barrel of a shotgun:
Today's the 30th anniversary of some old people game. If you go to the Google Home Page, you can play it on their logo.
I'm going to tell you why it sucks.
1) The graphics are shit. Even outside of a console, you should at least be able to get 2005-era textures out of a browser-based game. This tells me that the designers didn't care about the fans.
2) Pac Man is tired. There hasn't been a good Pac Man game for like thirty years. It's because designers keep making games like this that we almost never get memorable titles like Bayonetta. They're worse than Nintendo with Mario.
3) There's no chicks. Why's Pac Man killing ghosts if he doesn't even get to pork a hot babe at the end? I heard there's a "Ms Pac Man" game, but that's probably just designed by Ubisoft to appeal to the DS fashion designer game crowd. (BTW: If you think this statement is sexist, it's not. You should just get thicker skin.)
4) There's no violence. Some professor in Indiana proved beyond a shadow of a doubt that video games can never, ever have an influence on children's minds, so there's no excuse to have a video game without excessive violence. Real gamers only play games that are rated M.
6) You can learn to play it in minutes. You can just turn it off and pick it back up at any time. My mom's played it. That's right: it's a casual game. It's just another stupid browser game like Farmville, made for lousy housewives. When's Google going to get a life and start making games for the hardcore gamers? A guy I talked to said that casual games don't make as much money as hardcore games.
7) There's no multiplayer. Get a clue. Modern games should be played in online multiplayer. If you don't include multiplayer, that's just Google saying that you're leaving the option open to sell us later as DLC. Lamesauce.
8) It doesn't have a good physics engine. If the Unreal and Half Life engines aren't broken, why use other ones?
9) So you're a little yellow guy that hunts ghosts and wanders around mazes getting randomly attacked? Didn't anyone tell these guys that JRPGs are dead?
10) The CEO of Rockstar Games said he doesn't really like Pac Man anymore. Read this out of context quote, "I don't really" [like Pac Man anymore].
In summation, Pac Man should die in a fire.
My Replies -
1) It is like trying to compare a Jim Carrey movie of today to a Charlie Chaplin movie of yore.
2) That is true, where is the Pacman MMO ?
3) And thats where Ms. Pacman comes into the scene. This is where they hooked up and so forth. That being said, follow by that was Jr. Pacman which means they had Pacsex I guess. Although there was no following Mrs. Pacman game, so I suppose Jr. Pacman was born out of wedlock, but makes a key political statement for its time.
4)No violence you say? Ghosts are trying to kill you! And if you touch them you die. But eat the magic power pill and you flip the script and turn the tables on them ghosts, killing them instead. However, unfortunately the ghosts are not limited to the number of times they can respawn, unlike Pacman. Although you bring up a good point. Why haven't they made Death Pac 2010 with blood, guts, explosions, and helicopter escapes.
5) Number 5 is so hardcore it didn't even get listed.
6) It was one of the first games to grow in popularity like that. There was no casual or hardcore. Hell, people played and do play Pacman hardcore. There is some guy that got a "perfect" game, as in beat the whole game, ate every dot, ghosts, fruit, and what not until the last level. But again I refer you to the Pacman MMO comment.
7) There was 2 players, but not at the same time. But yeah, I guess your friend should be playing the ghosts trying to get your, right? Although I have seen some version of Pacman where you play the ghosts instead, and its much harder than it seems.
8)Yeah, I know what were they thinking using 8bit hardware instead of software overlays, I mean come on!
9) I heard from a guy at a rave that he said that he doesn't think video games are addicting, he said if that was true, with Pacman for example, you would be running around in a dark room, listening to repetative music, being acosted by figments, and consuming power pills. With that, he took something from his hand, downed it with his water bottle, and darted, arms flailing into the crowded room.
10) That was an exact quote, no way to take that out of context, you got me there.
11) Ahh I see what you did there...