The Customer Is Always Wrong

[The_root_of_all_evil]

I never want to go into a shop ever again. One of you people might be working there and shout at me.

Perhaps the problem is that most of us are stunningly polite most of the time; but then there's 'that' customer...and the eyebrows arch.

I find a lot of people are actually surprised at how polite and helpful we are.

 

[Xhumed]

I never want to go into a shop ever again. One of you people might be working there and shout at me.

Perhaps the problem is that most of us are stunningly polite most of the time; but then there's 'that' customer...and the eyebrows arch.

I find a lot of people are actually surprised at how polite and helpful we are.

Actually being able to help a customer makes me feel all warm and fuzzy, especially when they express their gratitude. It sometimes makes up for the utter arsewipes that can ruin your day.

 

[The_root_of_all_evil]

I never want to go into a shop ever again. One of you people might be working there and shout at me.

Perhaps the problem is that most of us are stunningly polite most of the time; but then there's 'that' customer...and the eyebrows arch.

I find a lot of people are actually surprised at how polite and helpful we are.

Actually being able to help a customer makes me feel all warm and fuzzy, especially when they express their gratitude. It sometimes makes up for the utter arsewipes that can ruin your day.

Especially if she's cute

 

[Digitalpotato]

Digitalpotato> gherkins is the yiddish name (in fact it's gherkele) for the big "kosher pickles" you put in sandwiches and hamburgers, it comes from the German Gurke, which means cucumber, and the recipe is not originally kosher, it's more or less malossol, a russian recipe for conservation of pickles in a mixture of saltwater, vinegar, onions and herbs.
The MOAR You Know...

I didn't know that...probably not Gherkins we got since we just order Pickles. (we probably wouldn't make money off of selling Gherkins)

-$4.00 will not buy eight bags of chips.

-The Price for Six-Inches is written on the menu. All you really need to do is to tilt your headupwards about five or ten degrees and you can see the prices right up there.

-Prices do not include tax - No offense but you shoulda known that by now since you're obviously from this country (bland unrecognizable accent) and I saw you two days ago here.

-"We don't Carry Swiss" means we do NOT carry it.

-We don't carry Big Macs.

-If you want Napkins, simply wait in front of the register and ask. do NOT follow us into the back.

-There is a pizza place next door with a MUCH shorter line - get Pizza from THERE.

-Please don't say you don't want anything and then say "No no no wait! I want this! Okay it's done...NONONO WAIT I changed my mind I don't want banana peppers!"

-Please don't say Banana Peppers unless you really want them - Just as a warning for those of you who don't know, they are VERY watery and soak into the nearby ingredients.

-Please don't say "Mustard" and then say "NONONO! I mean Honey Mustard!".

-Especially after we just put it on.

-No, I do NOT know Jared.

-When you say "Whatever comes on it" for something like Turkey, we are just going to wrap it up plain.

-You have to pay extra for bacon.

-And you have to pay extra for a double-meat-double-cheese Meatball. Even with the $5 foot long deal it will still cost extra.

-Thank you for informing us about the Sprite being just Soda water and -WHAT THE HELL YOU'RE DUMPING IT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FLOOR DURING THE LUNCH RUSH WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?! That's what the SODA GRATE is for!

-You seriously don't want a wrap toasted.

-There's a reason we don't have the scrabble pieces anymore - we are not doing the game anymore.

-Please don't say "no" when I ask if you want chips or a drink and then go take them anyway - that's called "stealing".




And here's a story...one person seems to have this goal, of beating our watchful eye to get a free milk from Subway. Thing is, he doesn't just take it and run when we're not looking - he stands in a blind spot from the Register and starts chugging the milk. I once pretended I was half asleep and then he tried to walk away after throwing it away and scared him. "Excuse me sir - are you going to PAY For that?"

 

[Omnidum]

Sometimes, the shopkeep can be painful too:

My mother wanted to return an internet connector.

Mother: Hi I would like to trade in this wireless internet connector.
Clerk: Yes, lemme jus' check. *Pretends searching after her number*
Clerk: No, sorry you can't trade it in here.
Mother: But, I bought it here yesterday, and we have traded cellphones here all the time..
Clerk: You can't bring it in here, sorry.
M: The clerk who sold it to me in this very shop said we could return it here.
C: I'm sorry but we just can't

Then they begin to fight and hurl verbal shit after eachother, and the crescendo being my throwing the connector with all her might into the floor, and they fight again, whilst me & my sister picked up everything.

-If you want Napkins, simply wait in front of the register and ask. do NOT follow us into the back.

Ultimate retardation if they think they can go anywhere they want.

 

[hayaki]

my favorite was when I was working at [name withheld-a major department store] and this lady came up to ask me where she could check out.

I was standing in front of the register.

Under a giant sign that said, CHECKOUT.

Happened more than once.

People are rude too...

OH! Yeah! Another time, at [name withheld again-ANOTHER major department store, I get around, heh!] this lady came charging out of the bathroom, yelling for the manager. She was very upset. When we got her calmed down a bit, she told us that some lady was, and I quote, "Beating her Child in the Bathroom!!!!!"

Turns out the lady in question picked up her two year old child, swatted him once in the butt (which was covered by a very large padded diaper) and sat him down. The hysterical lady was screaming (literally) that we needed to call the cops, that we should call child services, that the child was being abused...

It took us a half an hour to get her out of the store.

 

[Xhumed]

I never want to go into a shop ever again. One of you people might be working there and shout at me.

Perhaps the problem is that most of us are stunningly polite most of the time; but then there's 'that' customer...and the eyebrows arch.

I find a lot of people are actually surprised at how polite and helpful we are.

Actually being able to help a customer makes me feel all warm and fuzzy, especially when they express their gratitude. It sometimes makes up for the utter arsewipes that can ruin your day.

Especially if she's cute

Well... yes, true

Hayaki: Ah yes, the old "asking where something is while standing right next to it" routine. It's not particularly annoying (it can be pretty funny.) For some reason, it happened to me 3 times in the space of an hour last week, all with the same items- photo albums. All of them stood right in front of them (their backs to the shelves.) And all of them felt a bit silly when I smiled and said, "they're just there," whilst pointing behind them.

 

[sequio]

So i'm waiting to fill up gas at Valero and there's an old crone in front of me wanting to buy 2 pack of Newport. One box of Newport goes for $4.25 here but a row of them was placed in the Marlboro section which are $3.99. So i stood there with this old hag ***** about how she should get the 2 packs for $3.99. I waited for 10 mins. before going to 7-11 across the street (Valero had $.03 cheaper gas).

 

[The_root_of_all_evil]

It's the one problem. If shops were still under that draconian regulation where the customer was always right, they could quite of easily moved that packet themselves and still be "WITHIN THE LAW!!!11!".

But then certain shops just treat the customer as an inconvenience to their chatter, so it's a two edged sword.

 

[Cheesus333]

You know, to begin with you guys actually frightened me as employees, with all your shouting and bityching about it here. But now I realise that every embarassing or agressive thing I have or ever will done/do in a shop pales in comparison to the stories you've told. The next time I ask for a price marked above the product, or slip and pretend it didn't happen, I'll think of this thread. Sadly I don't have a job, being 13 and legally disallowed from working, but I wish I did, just to laugh at the twats you seem to get.

 

[hcselaw]

Every day working at Domino's some ass hat would ask which is thicker between hand tossed and THIN crust.

 

[Alone Disciple]

When I was in High School I had a job at a 1hr photo place. Here are just a few things I can remember:

1) We had this guy who had a *wink* business account. He was a little shady to begin with and I never understood why the owner ever put up with this guy. Anyway, he overdue on his account so we called him up and requested that he settle his tab promptly. I was stunned when he replied:
"Can I fax you a check."
"Uh, no."
"Why, I can fax it over right now."
"Sir, the bank will not accept a facsimile of a pesonal check on thermal paper."

2) Women came in all the time with these top of the line $500+ cameras with all the bells and whistles and I woudl be amazed at the following requests (circa 1989):
"Can you load/remove the film for me? I don't know how."
"What kind of film does this one take?"
"Do I need batteries for a flash?"
"Can you just set it up for point and shoot? I don't need any of this fancy stuff?"
I never understood why they had these expensive cameras and never read the manuals, or just a point and shoot but have these bloody expensive SLR's with 50 settings and still really just basically want a poloroid in the end.

3) "I'd like a set of color prints, glossy, 4x6"
"Sorry, I can't do that."
"Why not?"
"You handed me a canister of black and white film."
"So?"

4)"Excuse me, how big is a 5x7?"

5)"Hi, I'd like this roll of my daughetrs graduation/prom developed." Hands me camera. I open it up...no film.
"Um, there's no film in the camera."
"Huh? I just handed it to you."
"Yes, and I just opened it in front of you and you'll notice there is no film in the camera."
"But what about all the pictures I just took?"
"I'm afraid you didn't take any."
"But I was clicking...."

And of course.....cardinal rule #1 in a photo shop...(pre digital cameras). If you walk in with sunglasses, cannot look me in the eye, and are desperate to get out quickly and want to know EXACTLY when the pictures are going to be ready....THEN I am almost 100% positive me and all the guys will be making duplicates...'cause there are some nudies and X-rated stuff about to come out. The more wacky you act....the more we developers know we have gold on our hands.

 

[AuntyEthel]

We had a pizza sent back to us that had mosquito legs baked into the cheese. I suppose in that case, the customer was right, but I had to re-deliver it even though I didn't do the original delivery. The customer/wankjob yelled at me for ten minutes while I tried not to laugh, then still tipped me.

For not being tipped (in South Africa its customary/expected), I've broken someones garden gnome and pissed over their house wall and front window.

 

[milskidasith]

Alone Disciple, did you ever have any "shocker" pics on the film you developed? Just curious, because that would definatly make things... interesting.

 

[Alone Disciple]

Alone Disciple, did you ever have any "shocker" pics on the film you developed? Just curious, because that would definatly make things... interesting.

Yes, I have seen some pretty horrific pictures all those years ago.

We used to develop pictures for the Highway Patrol, so I've seen a lot of fatality pictures, usually involving drunk drivers or motorcycles accidents. I've seen multiple amputations, and none of them are pretty.

We called the police once to have a man investigated and turned over photos which appeared to be the sexual assault of a little boy. I don't know what happened in the end, but the pictures really creeped us out and were disturbing.

I've developed plenty of smut related material and then ran into these people about town and no matter how 'proper' they seem to appear in public...I've seen basically orgies (and not everyone is good looking or in shape) and I assume swapping, maybe even some 'hidden camera' shots of girlfriends or wives. On the flip side....yes, I've seen some pictures that may even make Penthouse blush.

I think the most shocking picture I ever saw was two vacationeers just happened to be in China during the Tienamen (sp?) square protest, the one where China denied to the world atrocisties that were reported.....well, I saw a picture of a citizen who was burned alive and dragged into a back alley with his waistline split open and his guts hanging out on the outside. That picture still bothers me today, even more so when Chinese officials *denied* to the world that there were any problems on the news that night....the same day I developed that picture.

 

[COR 2000]

This is one when I worked at Subways. This kid comes in and has to use the bathroom. I doesn't matter that he isn't buying anything, so I tell him, "Go ahead." He is in there for about 20 minutes, then he runs out of the store and leaves a strange smudge on the front door. I look at this brown smudge on the door and realize that it's shit, so I run into the bathroom. Turns out that this kid decided to fingerpaint with his own shit. It took me an hour to clean up his "masterpiece."

How old was the kid? Was it a single-digit aged kid who can't tell right from wrong, or a rotten punk who can't tell right from wrong?

 

[Xhumed]

Alone Disciple, did you ever have any "shocker" pics on the film you developed? Just curious, because that would definatly make things... interesting.

Yes, I have seen some pretty horrific pictures all those years ago.

We used to develop pictures for the Highway Patrol, so I've seen a lot of fatality pictures, usually involving drunk drivers or motorcycles accidents. I've seen multiple amputations, and none of them are pretty.

We called the police once to have a man investigated and turned over photos which appeared to be the sexual assault of a little boy. I don't know what happened in the end, but the pictures really creeped us out and were disturbing.

I've developed plenty of smut related material and then ran into these people about town and no matter how 'proper' they seem to appear in public...I've seen basically orgies (and not everyone is good looking or in shape) and I assume swapping, maybe even some 'hidden camera' shots of girlfriends or wives. On the flip side....yes, I've seen some pictures that may even make Penthouse blush.

I think the most shocking picture I ever saw was two vacationeers just happened to be in China during the Tienamen (sp?) square protest, the one where China denied to the world atrocisties that were reported.....well, I saw a picture of a citizen who was burned alive and dragged into a back alley with his waistline split open and his guts hanging out on the outside. That picture still bothers me today, even more so when Chinese officials *denied* to the world that there were any problems on the news that night....the same day I developed that picture.

Just curious, did blackmail ever cross your mind, even for a moment?

 

[smallharmlesskitten]

On a disturbing not I got asked for KY jelly by a dodgy old due yesterday...

I had a very bad nightmare last night

 

[smallharmlesskitten]

Customer: ?Look! My friend told me I could get this type of hammer at your store! Now go get it for me!?

Cashier: ?Sir, I already told you? we don?t have ANY hammers back here that aren?t already stocked on the shelves.?

Customer: ?LOOK HERE. F**K YOU! I KNOW YOU?RE TRYING TO SAVE MONEY BY SWITCHING OUT YOUR STOCKS! GET ME THIS HAMMER!?

(At this point, I come to the front of the store, overhearing what?s going on; note that I?m the manager.)

Me: ?Is there a problem??

Customer: ?Yes sir! Your employee here is not doing what I tell her to!?

Me: ?Well, you need to calm down and understand that we don?t have what you?re looking for. So maybe you should go back to shelves and check??

Customer: ?F**K THAT!!! IT?S NOT THERE, OKAY?! YOU NEED TO F**KING GET ME WHAT I ASK FOR!?

Me: ?That?s it. Get out of my store.?

Customer: ?What? NO!?

Me: ?Sir, get out, or I have to take you out.?

Customer: ?Then do it!?

(I go around the counter and approach the customer. I yank him by his collar & drag him to the door.)

Me: ?Now, then? you wanna apologize and maybe come back in??

Customer: ?No! I just want my hammer! God, what is this madness?!?

Me: *puts the customer down*

Customer: *confused* ?? What is it??

(I turn back to the cashier, who nods in approval. I then turn back to face the customer.)

Me: ?Madness? THIS! IS! SPARTAAAAAAAAA!? *kicks customer out of store and slams door