The Guide to Skyrim Modders: Part 2

[Lord_Gremlin]

It's just a giant enemy crab. Aim for the weak point...

 

[jack583]

women beware...
that dude has crabs...

 

[Danceofmasks]

These are the salad days of Skyrim, when thousands of game-changing mods have yet to be released. My New Vegas game is one massive, violent battlefield of strange.

I've never understood the desire to turn Bethesdas games into depraved sex romps, and the mods that make characters look like pretty(?) Japanese cartoons have always freaked me out, but to each his own.

Pretty much my thoughts. What I don't understand, personally, is how people would automatically jump to creating skimpy versions of female armour in a place like Skyrim.

Think about it for two seconds: you're playing someone who's very likely to climb her way to the Throat of the World, with its skin-scorching blizzards that actually require a Thu'um to be dispelled and its high abundance of snow. This is literally the coldest spot in all of Skyrim... and you want to get there wearing nothing but metal shoulder pieces, a Battle Bra, a flimsy bit of loincloth and ankle-high Battle Buskins? The whole of it being made out of *steel* pressed directly against your skin?

Ooooh, yeah. Frostbites sure are sexy. I loves me some desiccated bitches, all mummified by extreme cold and shit... HNG. UNF UNF.

I just-

I can't wrap my head around that. It was barely acceptable in Oblivion, in that you could at least stretch plausibility to its very limits and assume that in Cyrodiil, Battle Bras are just as useful as a full suit of plate armour. In Skyrim? Fuck, I'd say the worst enemy you'd be facing wouldn't be Alduin; it'd be all those damned Frost Dragons and the snow and the ice caves and just the all-around Nordic cold of this entire place!

TL;DR: I just don't get the compulsive modders. Stop turning Skyrim into a glorified Sims 3 and go kill some freaking dragons with appropriate gear, for a change!

Well, I don't get it at all.
Full plate is totally sexier than a chainmail bikini.

Hmm ... now I'm tempted to do a panel 3 and make a Charlotte Christine de Colde mod.

 

[Terminal Blue]

I ignored the warning..

Now I will never be clean again.

 

[ravensshade]

stupid sexy mudcrab...

 

[Artemicion]

There'll be banana hammocks everywhere!

 

[Kross]

That King Mudcrab is beautiful. I wants one!

 

[seraphy]

Is that giant mudcrap from actuall mod? If so what is it name and where can I get it!

 

[IamLEAM1983]

Well, I don't get it at all.
Full plate is totally sexier than a chainmail bikini.

Hmm ... now I'm tempted to do a panel 3 and make a Charlotte Christine de Colde mod.

Heck, look at Samus' Varia Suit. It's armoured up the wazoo, and it still manages to be feminine. As a protagonist, she absolutely doesn't need to show off.

Considering this, why would anyone honestly consider that their Skyrim experience is incomplete if they can't do the main quest attired as a Playboy Bunny? That's my argument. I've got nothing against those people who mod Skyrim into some sort of personal runway for virtual models, but I figure they'd be better off playing the game vanilla, first off. That way, they'd get a sense for the feel of the place - the lore and the Dovahkiin's place in it. Otherwise, you're left with the odd concept that being Dragonborn gives you a free pass for personal health and safety.

Lydia: "Be careful, my Thane! This dragon's breath burns bright!"
DovahPlayboyKiin: "S'totally fine, Lydia. Like, I'll make kitty faces and poses, flutter my eyelashes, angle my head so the camera catches my super-glossy modded skin, and it'll go away. Eventually. I've got God Mode turned on."
Lydia: "But... What of me, my Thane?
DovahPlayboyKiin: "Oh, you? Um... You die horribly. Kthnxbai! ^_^ "

 

[Sir Prize]

Out of those four choices, the most frightening of them is 'The stylist' if only because I've seen what some of those hair mods look like. I can stand the rest of them, but I shudder to think of all the cutesy hair-styles that may be created.

 

[iblis666]

A Google search for 'Oblivion sex mods' is pretty much a one-way ticket to the horror-dimension; consider yourselves warned.

Warned?! You do realise that I had now to google 'Oblivion sex mods' without safesearch because you wrote that?

just did that and oh the depravity it was truly /sniff GORGEOUS

 

[Glutnix]

Mmm...Sexy mudcrab...

Sex mods!? what horrible people use them!
.>

...Err...I mean...

I herd u like mudcrabs.

(Seriously, it took three pages before someone made this joke?!)

 

[stewox]

This Article: children sensor overloaded

 

[Furbyz]

NOW LISTEN HEEEERREE!!! I condone the right of any man to have his ficticiousonal avatar bone any sexy lizard/cat/crab lady he pleases. BUT I draw the line at this travesty of nature when a MAN is supposeddubably having relationnigans with a MALE mud crab. None o' that deviant homo stuff in my man/crab sexial relations.

Now that I'm sure at least 12 of you have not gotten that I was joking, I find it strange and even more funny that the Mudcrab is supposed to be male and still wearing the nipple tassels. Poor li'l dude. Great Comic guys.

 

[CommanderKirov]

Stupid sexy mudcrabs.

 

[MrMajenta]

when i saw that last panel, i instantly combined it with all the others: a pretty princess guy orc with pasties, riding a giant king crab... also with pasties

if anyone needs me i'm going to be bleaching my eyes out of my skull.

 

[ace_of_something]

I only want the king of all mudcrab mods so that I can see if I can get a dragon to do battle with it. That would be glorious.

 

[Wintermoot]

am I that weird for wanting a mudcrab sex slave?
also I feel sorry for the mudcrab on panel 2

 

[Jabberwock xeno]

I knew I wasn't the only one who thought it would be awesome to replace the Fusrodah sound file with a Kamehameha.

There's a DBZ mod in Skyrim? That is badass! The only thing more awesome than killing a dragon, is killing a dragon with a Kamehameha wave.

Seconded. A link would be nice.

 

[Tarik94]

I went to the comments, saw a lot of comments about the mud-crab, checked the comic in the last panel. *MINDISBLOWN*