Huh. I just lock the gate in front of my house. That seems to keep most people out.
Although, I suppose this works too.
Although, I suppose this works too.
The Ones Who Knock
- Thread starter The Wooster
- Start date
As a non religious door to door saleswoman... that dog brings back horrid memories... man...evil yard dogs... in the south... in the country.... with no leash laws...
*cringes*
*cringes*
I don't get door to door evangelists where I live now, praise Bob, but we had a serious problem at my parent's house. 7th Day Adventists, Jehovah's Witnesses, LDS, you name it, we got them. I was the one who always ended up dealing with them, for some reason.
Claiming to be a Satanist just made them more eager, professing Catholicism scared off a few, but not enough. Eventually I found that placing a statue of Ganesh in a position prominently visible from the door did the trick. One look at it and they all made their excuses, and pretty soon we were free of the wretches, as they must have warned their friends.
Claiming to be a Satanist just made them more eager, professing Catholicism scared off a few, but not enough. Eventually I found that placing a statue of Ganesh in a position prominently visible from the door did the trick. One look at it and they all made their excuses, and pretty soon we were free of the wretches, as they must have warned their friends.
Ha, I actually AM one of Jehovah's Witnesses, and I found this hilarious. Spoiling good media is all sorts of twisted and takes a particularly vile sort of mind... might have to burn that house down for the good of humanity. Not very Witness-like behavior, but we all have our shortcomings.
Now, to clear a few misconceptions:
Most of us have been at it long enough to place your dog into one of three categories: 1. Overgrown Puppy, 2. All Bark, or 3. Cujo. Some of us avoid dogs like the plague, most of us are equipped to handle types 1 and 2. No one screws with the type 3. Faith is a wonderful thing, but one ought not put God to the test. Your dog has a great many rights so long as he remains in your yard, if he comes into the street, I have the right to stove his head in. Remember that if you're the sort to loose a dog on a bloke for laughs.
Additionally, I've had some rather lovely conversations with NeoPagans of various traditions and Levayan Satanists. They're typically much more productive than talks with chest thumping Baptists who've never taken a moment to actually peruse the pages of the Bible they'll so ineptly defend, or the lazy atheist who's really an agnostic but can't be arsed to make a distinction between the two. We don't go knocking to judge, who am I to judge you? We go knocking to have a conversation. Anything in excess of this, anything less than this, is done in error. Unfortunately, errors do occur, for this I apologize. Folks are imperfect by nature, and even with a surprising amount of training, not all of us take to it naturally, though all of us are obligated to try. I've got a rather mild disposition, but obviously I'm not always the one who knocks.
If you don't want us stopping by to chat, there are two remarkably simple options open to you:
1.) invest all of a dollar in a "No Trespassing" sign. That sign carries a legal obligation (and if you live state side, it provides a homeowner a host of legal protections that you may be interested in.)
2.) Simply ask not to be called on. We've got a list, and we try to stick to it rather judiciously. Granted we may come around in a year or so to see if you still feel that way, but the last thing we want to do is be a nuisance.
Do Not:
Open the door naked - It'll just lead to many, many, many snide remarks and uncouth jokes at your expense later. Not to mention its a good way to end up on the sex offender registry
Hide - It's your bloody house, just shout something through the door, eh? Contrary to popular belief, you are not a ninja, your house creaks with every step you make, and the dog suddenly going quiet isn't fooling anybody. I have seen grown men cower behind a sofa (because apparently they'd forgotten the ill placement of the mirror on the mantle, and the fact that the front door is wide open.)
Pull a gun - So incredibly unnecessary and apt to cause legal trouble.
~~~
Jokes are jokes, jokes are lovely. But its amazing how much misinformation circulates about a group of people who go out of their way to talk to folks about themselves and their beliefs.
Now, to clear a few misconceptions:
Most of us have been at it long enough to place your dog into one of three categories: 1. Overgrown Puppy, 2. All Bark, or 3. Cujo. Some of us avoid dogs like the plague, most of us are equipped to handle types 1 and 2. No one screws with the type 3. Faith is a wonderful thing, but one ought not put God to the test. Your dog has a great many rights so long as he remains in your yard, if he comes into the street, I have the right to stove his head in. Remember that if you're the sort to loose a dog on a bloke for laughs.
Additionally, I've had some rather lovely conversations with NeoPagans of various traditions and Levayan Satanists. They're typically much more productive than talks with chest thumping Baptists who've never taken a moment to actually peruse the pages of the Bible they'll so ineptly defend, or the lazy atheist who's really an agnostic but can't be arsed to make a distinction between the two. We don't go knocking to judge, who am I to judge you? We go knocking to have a conversation. Anything in excess of this, anything less than this, is done in error. Unfortunately, errors do occur, for this I apologize. Folks are imperfect by nature, and even with a surprising amount of training, not all of us take to it naturally, though all of us are obligated to try. I've got a rather mild disposition, but obviously I'm not always the one who knocks.
If you don't want us stopping by to chat, there are two remarkably simple options open to you:
1.) invest all of a dollar in a "No Trespassing" sign. That sign carries a legal obligation (and if you live state side, it provides a homeowner a host of legal protections that you may be interested in.)
2.) Simply ask not to be called on. We've got a list, and we try to stick to it rather judiciously. Granted we may come around in a year or so to see if you still feel that way, but the last thing we want to do is be a nuisance.
Do Not:
Open the door naked - It'll just lead to many, many, many snide remarks and uncouth jokes at your expense later. Not to mention its a good way to end up on the sex offender registry
Hide - It's your bloody house, just shout something through the door, eh? Contrary to popular belief, you are not a ninja, your house creaks with every step you make, and the dog suddenly going quiet isn't fooling anybody. I have seen grown men cower behind a sofa (because apparently they'd forgotten the ill placement of the mirror on the mantle, and the fact that the front door is wide open.)
Pull a gun - So incredibly unnecessary and apt to cause legal trouble.
~~~
Jokes are jokes, jokes are lovely. But its amazing how much misinformation circulates about a group of people who go out of their way to talk to folks about themselves and their beliefs.
Nope, not as funny, and likely not as efficient either. Seriously, which makes a better story? Telling people the reaction of a Johova's Witness to seeing you nude, or just them walking up, then walking away? (which likely won't happen anyway, they're quite persistent. Admittedly, I prefer the pentagram approach, since it doesn't require me to even go to the door.RicoADF said:
I must offer, the finale to Breaking Bad was pretty good as far as finales go, but I have to say, the bit with the Zombies at the end through me way off.
I've never seen a Johova's witness, I don't know if it's because they don't exist around here or what but never had one drop by. I do know though that if you have said sign and they still walk onto your property and knock you can just call the cops to arrest them for trespassing which is what I'd do, I don't have time to waste with door to door salesman.JaceArveduin said:
Thanks for taking the time to explain what it's like from the other side, over here in Australia we don't normally get such people and thus the jokes about not being able to get rid of them while funny never made much sense. Also thanks for pointing out what I already suggested regarding the do not disturb/trespass sign, it sounds like an obvious solution to me (I posted it myself before reading your post)EnigmaticSevens said:
RicoADF said:
Your welcome. A good book that deals with them is the Bartimaeus trilogy. It is completely fictional,* but it's a great read, and it goes into details about what they use for them in that universe to make the summons stronger, though not so detailed as to tell you each and every letter.RicoADF said:Oh them, yes Doom 3 used them quite well. Didn't know what they were called, thanks for the info.JaceArveduin said:These things, tend to be used in literature n such for summoning demons of various kinds.
I can't believe that Walt and Jesse were actually robots from the future the entire time.iamjonah said:
I must be on some no-o list now as the last time a jehovas witness came to my house we had a nice long conversation that made him doubt his own words and he promised "To look into it". whether he actaully did or not, he never came back, so that works. Thing is, he wasnt a very smart one really, he could have argued his way out of it without much ffort but he didnt knew how and whoever is his superior probably would just do that if he actaully didi nvestigate it further.
OK. That's... interesting to say the least. I've just always wondered why. It seems to me that when you, as a society, have moved from polytheism to monotheism, there doesn't really seem any need to go back to a more primitive* version of religion. I mean, I really interested, but I do find it mind boggling.MinionJoe said:
*For what of a better word, but sociologically speaking societies do tend to progress from polytheism to monotheism the older they become.