The sarcasm/BDSM discussion thread!

[Sassafrass]

I'm not making it personal. She said if I admitted that I can't prove she hates men she would elaborate on her post.

I did my part, she is ignoring her responsibility. That makes her dishonest.

I know this is a late reply but if it's not personal, why have you helped people drag this shit out for a good 20 or so posts? Why have I heard rumours of you complaining about this user before?

If this isn't personal, all the evidence I've heard/seen is either wrong or I'm in an alternative reality.

 

[Bara_no_Hime]

The Fifty Shades of Gray brand of BDSM is this kind of BDSM, you kind of have to read the book to properly get it but it is very much about reducing an otherwise independent(ish) woman to a slave/dog status. He follows her around, wants to beat her up, only wear the clothes he approves of, wear her hair a certain way, eat what he wants her to eat, sleep an approved number of hours, not look him in the eyes unless directed to and "punish" her if these demands are not met.

Yeah... that isn't real BDSM. That's just weird fucked up shit.

**snip**

OP, I think your issue is that the book in question is Sexist, but it is NOT real BDSM. It is the author's sick twisted fantasy about what BDSM is written with little to no research (outside, possibly, of Hentai, the only place I've seen that weird interpretation of BDSM).

So basically, BDSM isn't sexist - but "Fifty Shades of Gray" is, because it isn't BDSM, it's porn. (not that porn is inherently sexist - it isn't - but that particular type of porn where women are treated as dogs or - a popular Japanese theme, as 'toilets' - is extremely sexist)

Actual BDSM, from the BDSM community, generally is about trust. Or about feeling alive. And in proper BDSM, the Submissive actually has as much (if not more) control over the situation than the Dom does. Good BDSM is a dance - a cooperative act requiring both partners to play a role. Some members of the BDSM community continue playing outside the bedroom, others leave it there and return to a different (often more socially acceptable, although not always) relationship status outside the bedroom. For that matter, some BDSM relationships will actually switch up who plays Dom and who plays Sub.

Good BDSM is a game. Some people play all the time, some people only play sometimes, but it requires give and take. Both partners have equal power and control, even if one of them is playing at having none.

The story you mentioned is not good BDSM. Just like most BDSM pornography doesn't demonstrate good BDSM (although some does, usually depending on if it was made by members of the community, or just paid actors). And just like Hentai doesn't demonstrate good BDSM.

Oh, and in case anyone was wondering, I enjoy dabbling in BDSM. Not all the time, and certainly not outside the bedroom, but there are times when it's fun to put on my corset and be a Dominatrix for an evening. ^^

 

[Blunderboy]

snip

Actually, the quote was:

I like the fem-dom kind of BDSM roleplay, personally. I don't like the male dominant version because I dislike men having any power. My current boyfriend enjoys it, so I've little reason to care about changing lol.

50 Shades of Grey had BDSM in it to the same degree that A Serbian Film has sex in it--i.e. it's all wrong. The book itself is creepy, but not sexist.

So yeah, you can take something out of context to make it suit your position, that's not enough to support your assertion that what she expressly said was "Men shouldn't have any power in any aspect of our world ever."

If it was so simple then why did she fuck about for so long then ignore me. Notice how after I said I couldn't prove she didn't hate men, she refused to reply to me even thoughshe said she would (which makes her a liar).

Why not just elaborate from the outset, why fuck around for so long?

Also, people think it's ok for her to judge all men based on her having a few bad experiences? Talk about double standards ahoy!

Well, to be fair, I wouldn't exactly want to respond to you in this state either.

But yeah, I recall you saying you couldn't prove she hated men, but really that's undercutting the gist of the matter quite a bit. Thing is, you can't prove anything. Everything you have said up to this point has been one accusation after another, none of which have the proof you need to actually have a solid argument. At this point i'd honestly suggest walking away. I'm getting the sense that you're growing irritable and you're not really holding the high ground of this debate.

I made 1 accusation then asked for an elaboration on her original point. I recanted the accusation and she has pissed about in this thread then played a victim card. Once again you have no issue with her frankly terrible logic of "some men abused me, I'm going to judge all men"

So not only have you made things up you're trying to defend her strategy of basically trying to piss me off. I won't use the word we are all thinking of. Seems pretty messed up to me.

I reckon I'm holding the high ground fairly well. Also, I'm perfectly calm.

"Everything you have said up to this point has been one accusation after another, none of which have the proof you need to actually have a solid argument"

Sounds to me like that is you...

Actually you've made another in your last few posts

Also, people think it's ok for her to judge all men based on her having a few bad experiences? Talk about double standards ahoy!

There was also another before that, but I suppose that's being overly technical.

That accusation was right, she admitted it herself. It's hardly a point against me when I'm right.

Also, thanks for ignoring 90% of my post, it says a lot when people do that.

Actually it wasn't proven correct in the slightest when the statement it's based on was not correctly interpreted.

Since you asked nicely ;P

I've simply been abused too many times by men to want to allow them to have any more power over me. Like a child bitten by a dog, I guess. I let my current boyfriend have a little control in some ways--gently pushing my boundaries with me so I can work through my issues--but as a general rule, I like it to be all me, zero him. He's pretty much the most amazing person I've met and he totally gets it. So all is well!

She clearly refers to her sex life solely, and in context of the thread it makes sense. Giving the requested context that should be enough to satisfy you, yes?

As for not answering the next part: Well it was pretty much based on this part being correct (Which it wasn't) So there was no real need to answer it.

I'm right and you're twisting it. I said she was judging men based on a few of them. Look at her post, she is doing that.

Keep twisting it, I'll keep you straight.

Well now you're just being homophobic Matthew.

 

[Geo Da Sponge]

Snip.

When she has a history of making derogatory statements about men, sexist behaviour, quoting things out of context, ignoring everything that proves her wrong, deflecting anything she can't answer without incriminating herself and generally behaving rather poorly... well, it's not particularly surprising that people will call her out on it.

Especially when she does exactly that in this very thread, then completely changes the statement when called on exactly how sexist it was.

If you want to see a double-standard, just look at her own post history.

Okay, let's have a look back at her post history. Tum-te-tum... Ahh! Here we go, "So I found this feminist site?", this ought to be juicy.

...

You, Sir, are a spectular hypocrite and several other things that I might get a warning for mentioning. Yeah, Boudica has a bad habit of sticking with one point when other people are trying to move the argument on and then running it into the ground, I'll grant you that. But when you say shit like this to her:

"Now, are you going to acknowledge what exactly you are doing when you dismiss it as roleplay, or are you just going to keep going with the insults?"

In the same thread as you saying this to her:

"Your mindboggling ignorance can only be attributed to willfully ignoring anything you can't refute. The girl who you've spent quite a lot of effort trashing and mocking with your insistence on her actions being mere pretense have been reading over my shoulder and her scorn is starting to turn into anger. The facts aren't changing and you seem incapable of grasping them. In the end, it all turns into delicious irony that the feminist turns out to be the lesser creature when compared to the girl who knelt and gave herself over to another.

Or perhaps I'm misjudging you. Perhaps you simply lack the strength and courage to do anything but pretend, and thus refuse to believe others are truly capable of doing it without pretending. Either way, it all ends in the same way. In pitying you."

I can't see her insulting you at all before that point, and then you spew that bile just because she disagrees with you? Your first post towards her was practically spitting in her face just because she has a different view of BDSM from you.

Take a look at this: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sexual_roleplay

See how it mentions BDSM under the heading of sexual roleplay? Yes, I know it's a wiki article and I'm not saying that it completely proves your point wrong, I'm just saying that she's not exactly alone in thinking that roleplay and BDSM go hand in hand. I just can't believe you got so amazingly defensive and aggressive over the fact that someone referred to BDSM as 'roleplay' or 'pretend', and that's coming from a submissive. It's just...

Christ, you get riled up easily. Especially over something that's so inherently open to personal interpretations, preferences and experiences as BDSM.

 

[Geo Da Sponge]

I can bust out definitions too.

" Discrimination based on gender"

She was sexist. By definition

Not letting someone sexually dominate you is discrimination? Okay then. I'm assuming that you're a heterosexual male. If not, imagine you are. Now, would you let a guy do -Kinky thing that you are personaly into- to you? No? But you'd let a girl do it?

You sexist.

I just think it's hilarious that you keep trying to put what she said in as vague as possible terms in order to make it look sexist. Are you really saying that she's sexist because she no longer enjoys doing something that reminds her of an abusive relationship...?