I'd hardly call the moderation group a private group. Isn't that what it's supposed to be for?Sassafrass said:
The sarcasm/BDSM discussion thread!
- Thread starter SpectacularWebHead
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Ok since I havent been involved with the rest of this conversation so theres no "history" can you tell ME why you dislike men having power? Its a curious line to take that you make a statement and then repeatedly refuse to defend it.Boudica said:Still waiting for an admission of error on your part or proof of your statement. You made a claim regarding myself at the start of the conversation. Once one of those occurs, I'll answer any question you haveMatthew94 said:
But since im asking nicely could you please tell me?
And what if your aggressive treatment of men makes them hate women and act aggressively towards them? Do you see what I'm getting at here?Boudica said:Since you asked nicely ;PMr_Spanky said:Ok since I havent been involved with the rest of this conversation so theres no "history" can you tell ME why you dislike men having power? Its a curious line to take that you make a statement and then repeatedly refuse to defend it.Boudica said:Still waiting for an admission of error on your part or proof of your statement. You made a claim regarding myself at the start of the conversation. Once one of those occurs, I'll answer any question you haveMatthew94 said:
But since im asking nicely could you please tell me?
I've simply been abused too many times by men to want to allow them to have any more power over me. Like a child bitten by a dog, I guess. I let my current boyfriend have a little control in some ways--gently pushing my boundaries with me so I can work through my issues--but as a general rule, I like it to be all me, zero him. He's pretty much the most amazing person I've met and he totally gets it. So all is well!
No one should be abusing anyone, regardless of gender. Just because men have been abusive and dickish to you, doesn?t mean that you can be abusive and dickish to other, unrelated men.
But wouldn't you think that it is bad to allow your negative experiences to dis-colour your outlook on gender based discussions?Boudica said:
(Apologies if it looks like I'm diminishing your views, its not my intention).
OT: What consenting adults do within privacy is none of my business etc.
I was talking about your general behaviour towards in men on these forums and I can only assume, real life.Boudica said:The point of BDSM is Bondage, Discipline, Sadism and Masochism. It's not really abuse if your partner asks for it and participates in it.Blunderboy said:And what if your aggressive treatment of men makes them hate women and act aggressively towards them? Do you see what I'm getting at here?Boudica said:Since you asked nicely ;PMr_Spanky said:Ok since I havent been involved with the rest of this conversation so theres no "history" can you tell ME why you dislike men having power? Its a curious line to take that you make a statement and then repeatedly refuse to defend it.Boudica said:Still waiting for an admission of error on your part or proof of your statement. You made a claim regarding myself at the start of the conversation. Once one of those occurs, I'll answer any question you haveMatthew94 said:
But since im asking nicely could you please tell me?
I've simply been abused too many times by men to want to allow them to have any more power over me. Like a child bitten by a dog, I guess. I let my current boyfriend have a little control in some ways--gently pushing my boundaries with me so I can work through my issues--but as a general rule, I like it to be all me, zero him. He's pretty much the most amazing person I've met and he totally gets it. So all is well!
No one should be abusing anyone, regardless of gender. Just because men have been abusive and dickish to you, doesn?t mean that you can be abusive and dickish to other, unrelated men.
Besides, he loves women (and me) <3
@PrinceFortinbras
No worries. I'm all for knowing more from people who have had more experiences or different viewpoints. I freely admit that I haven't even scratched the surface of the lifestyle so as such I'm more than willing to bow to superior knowledge or experience in that department.
There is most definitely different and varying layers of relationships. The reason I went mostly to either the shallow or deep end of the pool is that those levels are the things many people hear rumors about.
Mutual enjoyment was indeed something I missed and I should have pointed it out. Although I'd imagine most people with sense would understand that these people wouldn't be willingly doing these things if they didn't get some kind of a kick out of it.
Communication is indeed a huge factor in it, that's rather evident even from the outside looking in. I'd be interested to know what the numbers are in terms of practice in different countries. Here in America it seems like one of the biggest relationship issues is communication in terms of misunderstanding it or a lack thereof, and it would be interesting to cross-reference those who do practice with that vaunted 50% divorce rate we have. See if the practitioners come up on one side of the coin or the other.
I was unaware about the comparison to orientation, although it makes a fair amount of sense. Do you think that covers all 'layers' of BDSM, though? Or would you think it mostly covers the more 24/7 end?
Mostly I just wanted to point out that the rabbit-hole can go very deep and that it's not something to be taken lightly or without proper responsibility. It CAN be very interesting and fulfilling to the people who practice it, though. It's just not for everyone. I just worry about people getting way too excited because of 50 Shades and then hurting themselves or someone else. Not a good thing for anyone.
No worries. I'm all for knowing more from people who have had more experiences or different viewpoints. I freely admit that I haven't even scratched the surface of the lifestyle so as such I'm more than willing to bow to superior knowledge or experience in that department.
There is most definitely different and varying layers of relationships. The reason I went mostly to either the shallow or deep end of the pool is that those levels are the things many people hear rumors about.
Mutual enjoyment was indeed something I missed and I should have pointed it out. Although I'd imagine most people with sense would understand that these people wouldn't be willingly doing these things if they didn't get some kind of a kick out of it.
Communication is indeed a huge factor in it, that's rather evident even from the outside looking in. I'd be interested to know what the numbers are in terms of practice in different countries. Here in America it seems like one of the biggest relationship issues is communication in terms of misunderstanding it or a lack thereof, and it would be interesting to cross-reference those who do practice with that vaunted 50% divorce rate we have. See if the practitioners come up on one side of the coin or the other.
I was unaware about the comparison to orientation, although it makes a fair amount of sense. Do you think that covers all 'layers' of BDSM, though? Or would you think it mostly covers the more 24/7 end?
Mostly I just wanted to point out that the rabbit-hole can go very deep and that it's not something to be taken lightly or without proper responsibility. It CAN be very interesting and fulfilling to the people who practice it, though. It's just not for everyone. I just worry about people getting way too excited because of 50 Shades and then hurting themselves or someone else. Not a good thing for anyone.
Boudica said:
Okay, okay, I hate to be the one who sits here and then casts down my judgement from my high-horse (I know Matthew94 has called me out on it before), but I think we just need a bit of clarification here. I think what Boudica originally meant was that she doesn't want men to have any power... Over her and/or in the bedroom. Which I think we can agree is a bit fairer, although that clarification is all important. Anyway, that's the impression I'm getting, which makes this all one hi-larious misunderstanding. At least I hope it is.Matthew94 said:
Am I right in saying that's what you originally meant, Boudica?