The sarcasm/BDSM discussion thread!

[ItsAChiaotzu]

I like the fem-dom k

Well this thread exploded! And I haven't got fifty million messages saying I'm a ****, which usually happens everytime I try to talk about real issues.

I'd say that's a win!

Wait, what? You got insulted? What did you do?

Also... why did you change your avatar? I miss the toast...

You know what reading through this made me realise?

You are the guy from 50 Shades of Grey. That's kinda funny.

Anyway, back to being OT, or at least kind of. I dunno about anyone else but my penis doesn't give a shit about my ideologies. I could be the staunchest feminist on earth and it wouldn't control what my penis did whatsoever. Describing any kind of pornography as sexist kind of misses the point of pornography as far as I'm concerned because pornography and sex don't deal in the same circles as equality and rhetoric.

I am? Lol. You gotta explain this one to me.

It's simple really. The guy from 50 Shades of Grey, as I understand it, was abused by a woman when he was younger which left him with issues in which in his relationships with women he liked to have complete control over them and this took the form of sexual dominance. As far as I can glean from your post, you have pretty much the exact same issues. Thought that was an interesting parallel.

 

[Tippy]

I like the fem-dom kind of BDSM roleplay, personally. I don't like the male dominant version because I dislike men having any power.

Are you serious?

The more you post the less I can take you seriously. "Feminism is a celebration of women, that's why I hate men".

Guuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrrrrl, sort yourself out. Mmmm hmmm

You're going to have to show me where I said I hate men. I'd really like to see this magical ability of yours to summon forth things people never said. You should also probably explain to my boyfriend that I hate him.

Seems like major issues with men if you (and I quote) "dislike men having any power".

That's not a healthy attitude.

Oh, you can't show that I "hate men"? Odd that you would make the claim, knowing you cannot support it.

"I dislike women having any power."

Do you know what would happen if I (a man) said that? Or especially, a man in power (e.g. a game developer). Feminist groups will tear him to shreds.
Hell, men have said far more light-hearted and vague stuff than that and feminists have STILL launched attacks on them, trying to twist and exaggerate their words into blatant sexism.

Which is why you need to be careful of what you say. Men don't really mind if women say they "dislike men being in power" (it's easy to throw off as a joke) but women and political groups become very, very serious when a man says the same thing.

 

[Geo Da Sponge]

I like the fem-dom kind of BDSM roleplay, personally. I don't like the male dominant version because I dislike men having any power.

Are you serious?

The more you post the less I can take you seriously. "Feminism is a celebration of women, that's why I hate men".

Guuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrrrrl, sort yourself out. Mmmm hmmm

You're going to have to show me where I said I hate men. I'd really like to see this magical ability of yours to summon forth things people never said. You should also probably explain to my boyfriend that I hate him.

Seems like major issues with men if you (and I quote) "dislike men having any power".

That's not a healthy attitude.

Oh, you can't show that I "hate men"? Odd that you would make the claim, knowing you cannot support it.

"I dislike women having any power."

Do you know what would happen if I (a man) said that? Or especially, a man in power (e.g. a developer). Feminist groups will tear him to shreds.
Hell, men have said far more light-hearted and vague stuff than that and feminists have STILL launched attacks on them, trying to twist and exaggerate their words into blatant sexism.

Which is why you need to be careful of what you say. Men don't really mind if women say they "dislike men being in power" (it's easy to throw off as a joke) but women and political groups become very, very serious when a man says the same thing.

Back up a bit, Tippy. We already had a massive argument over this and she clarified the context. Don't see why she doesn't go back and edit it, but... She apparently means "I dislike men having any power over me".

 

[Fiz_The_Toaster]

I don't understand BDSM and I don't see the appeal of it, but whatever. People can do whatever the hell they want in the bedroom, and why should I care?

Also, I really don't think it's sexist, but then again, some people will claim anything is sexist if they look at it hard enough.

 

[Skullpanda]

I like the fem-dom k

Well this thread exploded! And I haven't got fifty million messages saying I'm a ****, which usually happens everytime I try to talk about real issues.

I'd say that's a win!

Wait, what? You got insulted? What did you do?

Also... why did you change your avatar? I miss the toast...

You know what reading through this made me realise?

You are the guy from 50 Shades of Grey. That's kinda funny.

Anyway, back to being OT, or at least kind of. I dunno about anyone else but my penis doesn't give a shit about my ideologies. I could be the staunchest feminist on earth and it wouldn't control what my penis did whatsoever. Describing any kind of pornography as sexist kind of misses the point of pornography as far as I'm concerned because pornography and sex don't deal in the same circles as equality and rhetoric.

I am? Lol. You gotta explain this one to me.

It's simple really. The guy from 50 Shades of Grey, as I understand it, was abused by a woman when he was younger which left him with issues in which in his relationships with women he liked to have complete control over them and this took the form of sexual dominance. As far as I can glean from your post, you have pretty much the exact same issues. Thought that was an interesting parallel.

I don't abuse an unwilling partner or gain satisfaction from basically ruining someone's life.

He's insane. I'm dominating.

Also, to add to your argument here: You're far more entertaining and much better written than that terrible character. Not to mention the whole gender difference thing.

 

[Daystar Clarion]

I don't understand BDSM and I don't see the appeal of it, but whatever. People can do whatever the hell they want in the bedroom, and why should I care?

Also, I really don't think it's sexist, but then again, some people will claim anything is sexist if they look at it hard enough.

Also, I really don't think it's sexist, but then again, some people will claim anything is sexist if they look at it hard enough.

...but then again, some people will claim anything is sexist if they look at it hard enough.

...if they look at it hard enough.

hard enough.

Childishness aside, I don't think I'll ever understand why people get so worked up about how others get their jollies in the bedroom.

If there's consent, then it's nobody's damn business.

 

[ItsAChiaotzu]

I like the fem-dom k

Well this thread exploded! And I haven't got fifty million messages saying I'm a ****, which usually happens everytime I try to talk about real issues.

I'd say that's a win!

Wait, what? You got insulted? What did you do?

Also... why did you change your avatar? I miss the toast...

You know what reading through this made me realise?

You are the guy from 50 Shades of Grey. That's kinda funny.

Anyway, back to being OT, or at least kind of. I dunno about anyone else but my penis doesn't give a shit about my ideologies. I could be the staunchest feminist on earth and it wouldn't control what my penis did whatsoever. Describing any kind of pornography as sexist kind of misses the point of pornography as far as I'm concerned because pornography and sex don't deal in the same circles as equality and rhetoric.

I am? Lol. You gotta explain this one to me.

It's simple really. The guy from 50 Shades of Grey, as I understand it, was abused by a woman when he was younger which left him with issues in which in his relationships with women he liked to have complete control over them and this took the form of sexual dominance. As far as I can glean from your post, you have pretty much the exact same issues. Thought that was an interesting parallel.

I don't abuse an unwilling partner or gain satisfaction from basically ruining someone's life.

He's insane. I'm dominating.

I haven't read the whole thing, but I have read the part where he provides her with a contract to sign if she is willing to conform to his system. His style of domination may be more severe than yours but it's rooted in the same psychological problems and manifests itself in almost the same way.

 

[Fappy]

-Snip-

I am disappointed in myself that I didn't notice this

Daystar's always hard enough. That's a fact.

 

[Fappy]

-Snip-

Hey, hands off!

We're not quite divorced yet!

I am still discussing with my lawyer how I am going to get his moon fortress in the settlement.

 

[Daystar Clarion]

Oh Daystar...You always know JUST what to say!...MARRY ME!

I'm spoken for I'm afraid

-Snip-

I am disappointed in myself that I didn't notice this

Daystar's always hard enough. That's a fact.

You let the side down bro.

Your response was flaccid and premature.

 

[taciturnCandid]

There is nothing wrong with BDSM. It is an extension mainly of natural tendencies to either be a dominant leader or a submissive follower. There are no predefined roles and actually many partners who engage in it switch roles occasionally.

Afterwards the partners come together and recognize that it is just play. They recognize each other as equals and as partners. Those that don't often turn abusive, which is something that puts a strain on the relationship. It is often times misportrayed in media.

There are other things that bother me with the portrayal of BDSM in media. One thing is the link to Sadomasochism. BDSM is about power, humiliation and pleasure. Pain is used to reinforce roles.

Sadomasochism is about using pain for pleasure. Masochists feel pleasure when recieving pain and Sadists find pleasure in inflicting it. Often times this is completely seperate from the BDSM scene as there is no part of power playing involved. Just indulgence in pleasures. However, Sadomasochists often times participate in BDSM and find enjoyment in some of the acts use to establish dominance.

While as people can be into the BDSM scene and not be Sadomasochists at all. For them, the pain is part of humiliation. It is part of the play and not an action of pleasure in itself.

It just seems to me though that people forget about aftercare so much. They focus on the roles people take during the sessions and not really on the whole experience.

 

[Fappy]

Oh Daystar...You always know JUST what to say!...MARRY ME!

I'm spoken for I'm afraid

-Snip-

I am disappointed in myself that I didn't notice this

Daystar's always hard enough. That's a fact.

You let the side down bro.

Your response was flaccid and premature.

Too many innuendos!

Is it getting hot in here or is it just me?

 

[Fiz_The_Toaster]

-Snip-

I am disappointed in myself that I didn't notice this

Daystar's always hard enough. That's a fact.

You let the side down bro.

Your response was flaccid and premature.

So is that why you guys are getting a divorce, some things were flaccid and premature?

[HEADING=1][/HEADING]

 

[Daystar Clarion]

-Snip-

I am disappointed in myself that I didn't notice this

Daystar's always hard enough. That's a fact.

You let the side down bro.

Your response was flaccid and premature.

So is that why you guys are getting a divorce, some things were flaccid and premature?

[HEADING=1][/HEADING]

[sub][sub]Dude, I told you that in secret, why you gotta be that way?[/sub][/sub]

*cough*

Fappy does not have performance issues. Any implication that he does is purely coincidental.

 

[Fiz_The_Toaster]

-Snip-

I am disappointed in myself that I didn't notice this

Daystar's always hard enough. That's a fact.

You let the side down bro.

Your response was flaccid and premature.

So is that why you guys are getting a divorce, some things were flaccid and premature?

[HEADING=1][/HEADING]

[sub][sub]Dude, I told you that in secret, why you gotta be that way?[/sub][/sub]

*cough*

Fappy does not have performance issues. Any implication that he does is purely coincidental.

[sub][sub]Sorry bro, but you left it wide open and I had to go there, I won't divulge any more secrets[/sub][/sub]

*cough*

Well, I'm sure that you guys will still be on the best turns, I mean, bros for life right?

 

[OtherSideofSky]

I imagine that this would be of interest to at least some of you:
http://clarissethorn.com/blog/

Also, the guy from 50 Shades of Grey is 100% pure female fantasy, just like Prince Genji and the heroes of "romance novels" (read: books people don't want to admit are porn).

 

[Geo Da Sponge]

Snippage.

And exactly who do you think write those wikis? You have to remember that the BDSM communities were quite closed and have spent several decades keeping things internal whenever possible, simply because of mainstream condemnation of sexuality in general, and feminism played quite a large role in that incidentally (but that's another topic for another thread. Quite interesting phenomenon, though.). The majority of BDSM and D/s information that was readily available to the average joe/jane was almost mythical in nature and was almost always either exaggerations or outright mistakes.

BDSM and such have exploded quite a bit the last two decades, though, but that has lead to the exact same thing that happened to Wiccans: People invented their own definitions and ideologies even, yelling them out as some sort of truths and what had been kept internal in the communities drowned in the quite frankly ignorant 'truths' of the amateurs that jumped on it. Leaving the "original" watered out and almost on the fringe.

It was not malicious, nor was it outright wrong since there usually was some kernel of truth in it all, but that combined with the very politically correct attitude (at the time, anyway, and to a small degree now) of 'everyone's opinion was relevant and equal in worth' meant that there was massive amounts of misconceptions.

That anything 'roleplayed' is any kind of real BDSM (or D/s in particular, lifestyle in particular) is one of them and it is hugely offensive to those who take the extra steps of giving someone else something so extremely valuable as their unlimited trust, love and bond without pretense or lies.

I don't mind hobbyists of anything, but putting together the kinder egg toy does not make me a master model builder.

Well thank you for the lecture, grandpa. I shall forever think of you as "Hipster BDSM guy".

Okay to be serious here, I know there are a lot of misconceptions about BDSM in the media, on the internet, everywhere. But I don't think it helps to knock down anything that isn't a 100% investment into it. It seems like a very arbitrary line to draw through very significant topics, and acting isolationist about what you do can only spawn more misconceptions.

So sorry, but I disagree. I know I don't have as much experience as you, but your interpretation of BDSM just doesn't seem as enjoyable or fulfilling as what I've heard elsewhere. As in, enjoyable and fulfilling for anyone who might be interested. I'm sure how you approach BDSM is incredibly satisfying for both you and your submissive, and I respect that.

Oh, and sorry about being kinda mocking in the opening of my post. I just found the mix of your tone and the subject matter a bit funny.

 

[fuzz]

I really want to know.

I really want proof that I "hate men" ;D

You haven't said it, but you play up to the rhetoric... you make many comments in these type threads defending women to the bone, no matter what their faults are, whilst making it quite plain that you think men as lesser to women, rather than an equal. This is clear by your inability to accept views that are in any way against any women... even if it is blatant the women is wrong...

It's similar to if someone said: 'Whites are totally awesome, and black people are bad at everything'... but then turn around and say 'I can't be racist because I didn't say I was...'

Thank you.

She hasn't explicitly said she hates men but her attitude towards men are just as damaging, if not much more so. Saying an entire gender should be deprived of holding any power is a very messed up attitude and that kind of thinking should hardly be around in this day and age.

I think it's people wearing the feminist label prancing around trying to have a role reversal of how it was in the early 20th century that are really damaging modern feminism, and even making society take steps back.

It's like all the online petitions about really whiny issues with games and films. It devalues the petitions, so when one is set up for something that needs speaking out on, it has a lessened effect. IE, any legislation put forward to do things like close the wage gap between the sexes is probably more likely to be discarded because of extremist people running around spewing vile everywhere in the name of 'feminism'.

Just some food for thought.

You've got a point but I have to point out that a man and woman doing the same job, working the same hours will earn the same amount of money. The reason men on average earn more is because they choose to get higher paying jobs. Also women often stay at home to raise their children. The 'wage gap' thing is simply not true.

 

[zumbledum]

Aaaaanywho, The topic I want to discuss is: The whole BDSM fetishism type thing. I've heard a lot about a book called 50 shades of gray, a book I am inherently terrified of reading because it started life as a twilight fan-fiction. Buuut, the content of this book is apparently largely sado-masochistic pornography, and, because my brain works in weird ways, It led me to question whether you can truly say the BDSM fetish is sexist or wrong in some other way, considering the fact it requires a lot of mutual trust and co-operation, and that as some people have claimed otherwise, the man is not always dominant.

However, a lot of statements claim that these sorts of actions are inherently sexist towards women, often objectifying them as toys or slaves to a mans whims or desires. But, Even in these situations where the women act submissively, consenting adults usually have to put a lot of trust in their partner to not hurt them too badly, or to any degree that takes away the enjoyment of the experience, and, everything is set in place by choice. So whilst you may not be into that sort of "exchange", Is it neccesarily a bad thing? It almost seems that these exchanges require a deeper and more trustibg relationship from the parties, due to the nature of being immobilised in such a way that your safety is completly in your partners hands. It's interesting to think about, in a kind of "Why the damn hell has this thought just popped into my head" kind of way. So yeah, discuss.

i havent read 50 shades but ive heard enough talking about it to get its not a great window into this world, i would recommend "The training of O" as a better example, again i havent read it but its a well respected book within the scene.

BDSM covers a massive range of practices, sexual and lifestyle. Subs , slaves and Pets all very different things.
I have met women that just like to be submissive with no SM , others than NEED to be whipped/spanked almost for foreplay. some people like to be objectified, tortured, breath control, humiliated, used, degraded, taken by force, put on display.
the amount and range of things as big as the imagination.

is it sexist? i can easily see why the acts are viewed that way, but its a choice thats made, its what they want so i dont see that it matters. and of course there are many switches and dominatrix out there to.

I get the idea of trust being the big thing for some but i have to say for me it isnt, its intense its primal its free and its honest. not implying its not for other flavours we each like a different thing.

i think the fundamental point about the feminist argument is in being able to make the choice in what you want , not in what you happen to want.

 

[Treblaine]

I haven't read 50 Shades... but from what I hear it's the same bodice ripper stories they have been printing since the 1970's only this time far more explicit. From what I've read it does seem to be very focused on the man and what he does and how he makes the woman feel all tingly, I don't think this would appeal to straight males much.

As such I wouldn't call this sexist, it does seem to be serving the genuine non-coerced desires of females but is it healthy? Not my place to say. If I like being tied up and whipped I wouldn't like someone barging into my room an telling me not to have fun.

BDSM is to rape, as Quake is to murder; the difference is a matter of agreed consent and not causing any permanent harm, it's all just a harmless game and everyone has agreed to the rules. Just because I kill my friend in Team Fortress 2 doesn't mean I'd actually violently end his life! I imagine the same is for BDSM play.