THE SHOCKING TRUTH ABOUT TACONEWS!!!

JoJo

and the Amazing Technicolour Dream Goat šŸ
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Mar 31, 2010
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Jandau said:
PsychicTaco banged Zoe Quinn. True story...
I know right, why won't the media pick up on Taco's discretions, giving out free newscasts in exchange for sex! It's madness.

On topic, I approve of this new religion, any suggestions what I should patronise with my new found powers?
 

StormShaun

The Basement has been unleashed!
Feb 1, 2009
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As resident self-claimed Archangel ...
The only true God here is the sun, and our sun on the Escapist is Jim Sterling!

Do not be fooled by these false deities, they created such tomfoolery as Aliens: Colonial Marines, on-disk DLC, and those threads about Zoe Quinn/Anita Sarkeesian.

Praise the sun chungus!
and praise be to those mods that guard his threads! [sub][sub][sub]... and pants.[/sub][/sub][/sub]
 

xaszatm

That Voice in Your Head
Sep 4, 2010
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Colour Scientist said:
Daystar and Fappy are Gods?

They don't even go here!

Daystar Clarion said:
TIL I am a god.
Yeah, god of being a douche.
JoJo said:
Jandau said:
PsychicTaco banged Zoe Quinn. True story...
I know right, why won't the media pick up on Taco's discretions, giving out free newscasts in exchange for sex! It's madness.

On topic, I approve of this new religion, any suggestions what I should patronise with my new found powers?
Dirty Cop James funs said:
That's just silly, Taco's obviously not a god or anything. I mean, if he is, why didn't he just erase your thread from existence? Silly conspiracy theorists.

[sub][sub][sub][sub][sub]Damn it, the mortals are on to us! Told you to eradicate those damn monkeys when they were still tossing their feces at each other as a form of communication![/sub][/sub][/sub][/sub][/sub]
StormShaun said:
As resident self-claimed Archangel ...
The only true God here is the sun, and our sun on the Escapist is Jim Sterling!

Do not be fooled by these false deities, they created such tomfoolery as Aliens: Colonial Marines, on-disk DLC, and those threads about Zoe Quinn/Anita Sarkeesian.

Praise the sun chungus!
and praise be to those mods that guard his threads! [sub][sub][sub]... and pants.[/sub][/sub][/sub]
I go to bed and...

[HEADING=1]ALL HAIL COLOUR SCIENTIST: GODDESS OF MAD SCIENCE[/HEADING]

[HEADING=1]ALL HAIL JOJO: GOD OF STANDS[/HEADING]

[HEADING=1]ALL HAIL DIRTY COP JAMES FUNS: GOD OF FUN[/HEADING]

[HEADING=1]ALL HAIL STORMSHAUN: ANGEL GOD[/HEADING]
 

StormShaun

The Basement has been unleashed!
Feb 1, 2009
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xaszatm said:
[HEADING=1]ALL HAIL COLOUR SCIENTIST: GODDESS OF ART[/HEADING]

[HEADING=1]ALL HAIL JOJO: GOD OF STANDS[/HEADING]

[HEADING=1]ALL HAIL DIRTY COP JAMES FUNS: GOD OF FUN[/HEADING]

[HEADING=1]ALL HAIL STORMSHAUN: ANGEL GOD[/HEADING]
*cough*

Okay, I'll stand down from that previous statement.
Also, heh, JoJo's makes sense.

Now ... since there are so many Gods gathered in one spot.
Will there be a war? If so, I'll fight with the worst weapons ever assembled ... controversial threads!
 

Gustof26

New member
Apr 7, 2011
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Well lets see here. Gods who's divinity is based upon post count. Whelp that puts me at the shallow end of the Pantheon. Some of the bestowed roles seem to relate to the picture you wield. Very well then, I accept role!

I am Gustoff, God of small rodents, insignificant thing. It am the 26th entity to fulfill this role. Whenever an entity becomes the Gustoff they become more and more insignificant until they no longer exist. There upon another entity is thrust into the role. I fear I have not long now before a 27th is named. Before I am vanished from this thread I ask. Worship at my feet, beg for my favors, perhaps we may fend off the curse of my title.
 

xaszatm

That Voice in Your Head
Sep 4, 2010
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Colour Scientist said:
xaszatm said:
[HEADING=1]ALL HAIL COLOUR SCIENTIST: GODDESS OF ART[/HEADING]
Can I pick a different one?

Something that sounds a bit more basass and awesome. XD
...

[HEADING=1]ALL HAIL COLOR SCIENTIST: GODDESS OF MAD SCIENCE![/HEADING]
 

lacktheknack

Je suis joined jewels.
Jan 19, 2009
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xaszatm said:
I'm just gonna be adding gods for every 5 digit poster I see. :p
AND WHAT DOES THIS MAKE ME?

(I'm genuinely curious, I don't really know what people think when they see me. :p)
 

xaszatm

That Voice in Your Head
Sep 4, 2010
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lacktheknack said:
xaszatm said:
I'm just gonna be adding gods for every 5 digit poster I see. :p
AND WHAT DOES THIS MAKE ME?

(I'm genuinely curious, I don't really know what people think when they see me. :p)
[HEADING=1]ALL HAIL LACKTHEKNACK: GOD OF FOOD![/HEADING]

I still primarily remember you for you previous avatar :p
 

lacktheknack

Je suis joined jewels.
Jan 19, 2009
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xaszatm said:
lacktheknack said:
xaszatm said:
I'm just gonna be adding gods for every 5 digit poster I see. :p
AND WHAT DOES THIS MAKE ME?

(I'm genuinely curious, I don't really know what people think when they see me. :p)
[HEADING=1]ALL HAIL LACKTHEKNACK: GOD OF GIANT MOUTHS![/HEADING]

I still primarily remember you for you previous avatar :p
<color=red>BOW BEFORE MY ":D" EMOTICON!

Seems kind of one-trick-ponyish, don't you think? I might do what Colour Scientist did and ask for a reroll. xD
 

xaszatm

That Voice in Your Head
Sep 4, 2010
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lacktheknack said:
xaszatm said:
lacktheknack said:
xaszatm said:
I'm just gonna be adding gods for every 5 digit poster I see. :p
AND WHAT DOES THIS MAKE ME?

(I'm genuinely curious, I don't really know what people think when they see me. :p)
[HEADING=1]ALL HAIL LACKTHEKNACK: GOD OF GIANT MOUTHS![/HEADING]

I still primarily remember you for you previous avatar :p
<color=red>BOW BEFORE MY ":D" EMOTICON!

Seems kind of one-trick-ponyish, don't you think? I might do what Colour Scientist did and ask for a reroll. xD
...what am I, a DM?

[HEADING=1]ALL HAIL LACKTHEKNACK: GOD OF FOOD![/HEADING]

...better?
 

lacktheknack

Je suis joined jewels.
Jan 19, 2009
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xaszatm said:
lacktheknack said:
xaszatm said:
lacktheknack said:
xaszatm said:
I'm just gonna be adding gods for every 5 digit poster I see. :p
AND WHAT DOES THIS MAKE ME?

(I'm genuinely curious, I don't really know what people think when they see me. :p)
[HEADING=1]ALL HAIL LACKTHEKNACK: GOD OF GIANT MOUTHS![/HEADING]

I still primarily remember you for you previous avatar :p
<color=red>BOW BEFORE MY ":D" EMOTICON!

Seems kind of one-trick-ponyish, don't you think? I might do what Colour Scientist did and ask for a reroll. xD
...what am I, a DM?

[HEADING=1]ALL HAIL LACKTHEKNACK: GOD OF FOOD![/HEADING]

...better?
As the local food addict, I'll take it. xD
 

Colour Scientist

Troll the Respawn, Jeremy!
Jul 15, 2009
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lacktheknack said:
I might do what Colour Scientist did and ask for a reroll. xD
How about the God of Copycats then? XD

I'm not too enraptured by my new one either.

[HEADING=1]Colour Scientist: Goddess of Being a Demanding Pain in the Arse[/HEADING]

Hm, maybe that's a bit too long...
 

xaszatm

That Voice in Your Head
Sep 4, 2010
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Colour Scientist said:
lacktheknack said:
I might do what Colour Scientist did and ask for a reroll. xD
How about the God of Copycats then? XD

I'm not too enraptured by my new one either.

[HEADING=1]Colour Scientist: Goddess of Being a Demanding Pain in the Arse[/HEADING]

Hm, maybe that's a bit too long...
...give a god an inch...

[HEADING=1]ALL HAIL COLOUR SCIENTIS: GODDESS OF ROYAL PAINS![/HEADING]

:p
 

lacktheknack

Je suis joined jewels.
Jan 19, 2009
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xaszatm said:
Colour Scientist said:
lacktheknack said:
I might do what Colour Scientist did and ask for a reroll. xD
How about the God of Copycats then? XD

I'm not too enraptured by my new one either.

[HEADING=1]Colour Scientist: Goddess of Being a Demanding Pain in the Arse[/HEADING]

Hm, maybe that's a bit too long...
...give a god an inch...

[HEADING=1]ALL HAIL COLOUR SCIENTIS: GODDESS OF ROYAL PAINS![/HEADING]

:p
In the Mythos, I hope we'll retain our God status for all the subjects we've cycled through.

Yes, this means Colour is the most powerful and influential by far, but oh well. xD
 

Euryalus

New member
Jun 30, 2012
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Daystar Clarion said:
Gods need a theme tune, it's written in a book somewhere, I swear.
I think this is appropriate for my realm then. Butts are serious business. Can you imagine not having one? You'd have to sit with your knees all the time. I'm like the most important god.


JoJo said:
Jandau said:
PsychicTaco banged Zoe Quinn. True story...
I know right, why won't the media pick up on Taco's discretions, giving out free newscasts in exchange for sex! It's madness.
I hear he swats rival news casters anonymously just to get an edge too. He's no saint that one. WHY IS THE MEDIA BLACKING OUT ON THIS?!

TizzytheTormentor said:
xaszatm said:
[HEADING=1]ALL HAIL TIZZYTHETORMENTOR: GOD OF TIZZINESS![/HEADING]
I am honored to be the god of Tizziness, it was what I was born to be!

I proclaim you [user]xaszatm[/user] as our prophet, to spread the good word!

[sub][sub]And why is Fapster the cat god? I am the local cat bastard, I am even blue! Not now for obvious raisins...[/sub][/sub]
Good word? Someone wrote an escapist bible? What's in it? Ooh! We should make our main theme be about hedonism. That's a fun philosophy right? :D



Colour Scientist said:
xaszatm said:
[HEADING=1]ALL HAIL COLOUR SCIENTIST: GODDESS OF ART[/HEADING]
Can I pick a different one?

Something that sounds a bit more basass and awesome. XD
So needy :p
 

Euryalus

New member
Jun 30, 2012
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lacktheknack said:
xaszatm said:
Colour Scientist said:
lacktheknack said:
I might do what Colour Scientist did and ask for a reroll. xD
How about the God of Copycats then? XD

I'm not too enraptured by my new one either.

[HEADING=1]Colour Scientist: Goddess of Being a Demanding Pain in the Arse[/HEADING]

Hm, maybe that's a bit too long...
...give a god an inch...

[HEADING=1]ALL HAIL COLOUR SCIENTIS: GODDESS OF ROYAL PAINS![/HEADING]

:p
In the Mythos, I hope we'll retain our God status for all the subjects we've cycled through.

Yes, this means Colour is the most powerful and influential by far, but oh well. xD
But Lack! Everyone has a butt! I lord over everyone! MWAHAHAHAHA!
 

Something Amyss

Aswyng and Amyss
Dec 3, 2008
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I refuse to believe anyone who claims that Taco is not giving us the unprocessed truth, wrapped in a tortilla shell.

MysticSlayer said:
And always remember to thank God for Jim!...Or should I say, thank Jim for Jim!
So Jim is and endless loop of shameful self promotion? Eeeeexcellent.