The slut issue

ArnRand

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el_kabong said:
Interesting stuff. I only use the term "slut" when I know someone's inner workings and personal history. It's entirely situational. If a women's sexual activities disgust me on a personal level, then they get the label "slut". My personal sexual put-down for a man is to call him a "skeevy/shifty ************/pervert".

While I know that this can be personally biased, I think there's a huge difference between a woman who's comfortable talking/engaging in sex (or dressing provocatively) and someone that I find morally reprehensible. I understand how important healthy sexual activity is to human beings. It's when people make it either unhealthy or completely trivial that I get offended.

Example of what I use the term "slut" for. I have an acquaintance (a women) who's at least had over 25 sexual partners. She had a child as a result, which she doesn't give the proper care to (essentially, she lets her parents take care of it while she goes to get smashed at bars and pick up guys). In hearing from a couple friends who made the mistake of sleeping with her, she apparently doesn't use protection (though, thankfully, my friends insisted). One night, she came over to me and my friends while we were having a pint, pointed out two guys that she was with and asked which she should sleep with that night. I, disgusted that she is making sex so trivial that she's asking outside opinions from guys she barely knows, said sarcastically, "why don't you just flip a coin?". And she did...it was heads.

I definitely use the term "slut" in referring to her. She's disgusting and deserves a title that carries my feelings of disgust towards her.
Small point, I know, but how is 'over twenty five sexual partners' so bad? Over, say, five years, that's only one every ten weeks. Not exactly frigid, but it doesn't seem particually excessive.
 

el_kabong

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ArnRand said:
el_kabong said:
Interesting stuff. I only use the term "slut" when I know someone's inner workings and personal history. It's entirely situational. If a women's sexual activities disgust me on a personal level, then they get the label "slut". My personal sexual put-down for a man is to call him a "skeevy/shifty ************/pervert".

While I know that this can be personally biased, I think there's a huge difference between a woman who's comfortable talking/engaging in sex (or dressing provocatively) and someone that I find morally reprehensible. I understand how important healthy sexual activity is to human beings. It's when people make it either unhealthy or completely trivial that I get offended.

Example of what I use the term "slut" for. I have an acquaintance (a women) who's at least had over 25 sexual partners. She had a child as a result, which she doesn't give the proper care to (essentially, she lets her parents take care of it while she goes to get smashed at bars and pick up guys). In hearing from a couple friends who made the mistake of sleeping with her, she apparently doesn't use protection (though, thankfully, my friends insisted). One night, she came over to me and my friends while we were having a pint, pointed out two guys that she was with and asked which she should sleep with that night. I, disgusted that she is making sex so trivial that she's asking outside opinions from guys she barely knows, said sarcastically, "why don't you just flip a coin?". And she did...it was heads.

I definitely use the term "slut" in referring to her. She's disgusting and deserves a title that carries my feelings of disgust towards her.
Small point, I know, but how is 'over twenty five sexual partners' so bad? Over, say, five years, that's only one every ten weeks. Not exactly frigid, but it doesn't seem particually excessive.
Good point. However, keep in mind that this is not her self-described number. This is only confirmed sexual partners I've gathered from direct exposure. I've only known them for around 2 years and I never voluntarily hang out with her. Realistically, that number is probably doubled/tripled for an actual figure, but past about 25, I'm extrapolating based on times she's not around my social circle (quite a bit) and before I met her.

Also, the number of times isn't all that crucial to me, but how that number was achieved. As noted, I believe that there's a difference between someone who regularly engages in sexual activity and a slut. It's all about the execution.
 

SadakoMoose

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Context. Slut is kind of insult, and it's only really ever hurled at someone when someone else is trying to shame them for being sexual/engaging in sexual behavior/not conforming to social norms. Also, it's an insult that men never have to face.
Honestly, I think there's MUCH better things to do than shaming women for enjoying/having/taking an active role in sex. It doesn't really make any sense.
 

cobra_ky

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Smeatza said:
Hoplon said:
Rape is not about desire, it's about power and control.
In some cases.
It is a myth that is always the case, do some research and you will see that the older you are, the less likely you are to get raped.
AKA. The less attractive you are, the less likely you are to get raped.
This is especially relevant when referring to opportunistic rape, the rape that the slutwalk movement refers to.
Conflating age with physical attractiveness is one hell of a false equivalency. Based on your argument, and the statistics you used to support it, men are most attractive between the ages of 50-64, because that's the age group most likely to report being rape. Even then you've only proven a correlation between rape reports and age group, not a causal relationship.

Also, I'm not sure where you got the impression that the SlutWalk movement refers only to opportunistic rape, or are "entirely about the mean streets". It's also very much about the cultural perception of female sexuality.
 

Paradoxrifts

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Treblaine said:
Child abandonment? No, seriously?

Yeah.

If a woman chooses to carry her pregnancy to term and then chooses to leave the child to die of exposure rather than go through the ethical processes of giving them up for adoption, leaving them in care of the state, or alternatively terminating the pregnancy when it was a relatively simple surgical procedure, then I would say that yes, that would probably qualify under crazy behaviour she really ought not to be doing.

Sort of like unprotected sex, but wherein that would only require a regrettable lapse of judgment on behalf of one or both sexual partners, what you're talking about would require a lengthy and sustained period of deception that ends with either an attempted or successful murder of a newborn.

So no, they are not even remotely equivalent.

And you're coming back full circle again to the undeniable fact that in our society today the fetus is only recognised as a human being with rights once a woman decides to keep the child.

If a pregnant woman is the victim of serious physical assault, or is otherwise accidentally injured due to negligence and suffers a miscarriage due to those injuries, the person{s) responsible can be brought to trial on charges of murder or manslaughter depending on the circumstances of the case. And yet despite this the option of abortion is widely available, which putting aside discussions of legal semantics means that when the results are measured, a fetus only becomes a human being after a woman decides to keep the child.

Women are given every option, and men are given derivative choices stemming from the options that she selects. That is not equality. That does not even remotely come close to anything resembling equity. The child 'must' be supported because the mother made a choice. It is her decision, but if it is her decision then she must wear the consequences of pursuing it.

If a woman is worried that a man will hit and run, then paperwork could be filed in advance showing that her partner is ready and willing to undergo the rigours of fatherhood. A follow up opt-out paternity test could be wrapped into the deal too to provide certainty to the potential father that the child is in fact theirs, without forcing that awkward 'prenuptial agreement' style moment on the mother. And of course the paperwork could be filed afterwards, because their really is no onus on the man to try and avoid it.

You talk of a defending a person's sovereignty over their own body, but I can think of few things more invasive then forcing that body to provide for an unwanted dependent for anywhere up to 18 years.
 

Treblaine

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Paradoxrifts said:
And you're coming back full circle again to the undeniable fact that in our society today the fetus is only recognised as a human being with rights once a woman decides to keep the child.
That's not an undeniable fact.

The threshold of when a foetus becomes "alive" in the same threshold where a sick patient becomes "dead": brain activity.

Scientific investigation of Human Foetus that had been aborted or miscarried show that there is not any brain neurotransmitters before 25 weeks. That makes brain activity impossible. There are no thoughts, feelings nor emotions. Muscles twitch spontaneously but that's it.

When a sick patient has all brain activity ceases or made impossible by their brain being completely destroyed by their affliction, there is no reason to keep the heart beating and lungs breathing. They are dead even if their heart beats, lungs breath and muscles twitch.

This is nothing to do with mother's interpretation. This is science. The mother can terminate the pregnancy before any possibility of the foetus being "alive" but after that time then they can't have an abortion.

Most countries that allow abortion forbid late term abortions.

Interestingly, 25 weeks is also the earliest stage of development that the foetus can reasonably safely survive outside the womb. So to terminate the pregnancy after 25 weeks; abortion is not the choice, early term delivery is the method.

This really is a simple issue, abortion is only any kind of issue with ignorance or misinformation.
 

Paradoxrifts

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Treblaine said:
Paradoxrifts said:
And you're coming back full circle again to the undeniable fact that in our society today the fetus is only recognised as a human being with rights once a woman decides to keep the child.
That's not an undeniable fact.
That is an undeniable result, and it is also an undeniably inequitable result. You can certainly try to justify the result, but justifying the inequity is a far harder task.

It remains that abortion is the choice that literally terminates all other choices that could have been taken. Even when it is the choice which is not taken a woman's ability to seek an abortion casts a stark shadow across all of the other options that could have been on the table. She can apply pressure on the father to agree to give the child up for adoption if that is what the mother wants, or even should the father wish to go it alone and raise the child by himself, and even if she were open to the possibility, the reality is that the potential future threat of paying child support payments will likely see her terminate the pregnancy instead of giving the child over to the custody of the father.
 

Dascylus

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So, page 1... Talking about Slut

Page 8 and it's about abortion I think... whatever... OT...

You say slut like it's a bad thing.
I am a slut, I sleep with any good looking piece of ass that takes an interest in my good looking piece of ass.

However I am against the idea of calling someone a slut because in your eyes they are sexually immoral.
You are not a slut because you have slept with more than 3 people in your life... More than 3 this week and that might be a different story.

Also, being a slut does not mean indiscriminate sex with anything with a pulse.
Case in point, overly drunk girl last friday... Pass
Fairly drunk girl grabbing my ass on tuesday... Ok

They were interested in me and I was interested in them. Had it been an ugly (according to my standards ok cos we're not getting into that discussion) girl or any guy then I would say no.

Oh and people, grow up and take the gender off the word slut. It applies to us all.

In short, Slut is to me like the N-word is to black culture. I'll use the word, friends can use the word with me. But I will not tolerate it being used as a hurtful insult.
 

2HF

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By your logic, shouldn't we be calling them "Sleepers"? Or maybe "Sexers". Either of these work I think.
 

Treblaine

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Paradoxrifts said:
Treblaine said:
Paradoxrifts said:
And you're coming back full circle again to the undeniable fact that in our society today the fetus is only recognised as a human being with rights once a woman decides to keep the child.
That's not an undeniable fact.
That is an undeniable result, and it is also an undeniably inequitable result. You can certainly try to justify the result, but justifying the inequity is a far harder task.

It remains that abortion is the choice that literally terminates all other choices that could have been taken. Even when it is the choice which is not taken a woman's ability to seek an abortion casts a stark shadow across all of the other options that could have been on the table. She can apply pressure on the father to agree to give the child up for adoption if that is what the mother wants, or even should the father wish to go it alone and raise the child by himself, and even if she were open to the possibility, the reality is that the potential future threat of paying child support payments will likely see her terminate the pregnancy instead of giving the child over to the custody of the father.
I can't continue this conversation. for the following reasoning:

(1) and endless stream of baseless assumptions presented as certain declarations which are too disingenuous to be qualified
(2) this has gotten completely off topic via supposed guilt of womanhood justifing "slut" slurs.
(3) the argument presented is amazingly paranoid and selfish it's more trouble than it's worth to counter
(4) Your focus on child support is entirely backward seeing it as a "threat" rather than a matter of responsibility for helping children.
 

Segafriday

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Here's my two cents. if men love to congratulate each other on how many sexual partners they have in a short amount of time, IE, being a player, then women can do the same without being judged, if you DO judge her on it, your a hypocrite.
 

UberNoodle

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Here's a test for you do OP:

Imagine a male rapper singing a song in which he boasts about being a player. Now imagine a woman rapper siging a song about how much of a slut she is.

You can't honestly say that you responded equally to both. Most likely, the male rapper was kind of heroic for all his conquests, and the women is someone you wouldn't f**k with somebody elses d**k, or you'd at least wear two condoms.

Player is clearly a word designed to stroke male egos. Slut, however has this etymological origin:

c.1400, "a dirty, slovenly, or untidy woman," probably cognate with dialectal Ger. Schlutt "slovenly woman," dialectal Swed. slata "idle woman, slut," and Du. slodder "slut," but the ultimate origin is doubtful. Chaucer uses sluttish (late 14c.) in reference to the appearance of an untidy man. Also "a kitchen maid, a drudge" (mid-15c.; hard pieces in a bread loaf from imperfect kneading were called slut's pennies, 18c.). Meaning "woman of loose character, bold hussy" is attested from mid-15c.; playful use of the word, without implication of loose morals, is attested from 1660s.

Our little girl Susan is a most admirable slut, and pleases us mightily. [Pepys, diary, Feb. 21, 1664]

Sometimes used 19c. as a euphemism for ***** to describe a female dog. There is a group of North Sea Germanic words in sl- that mean "sloppy," and also "slovenly woman," and that tend to evolve toward "woman of loose morals" (cf. slattern, also English dial. slummock "a dirty, untidy, or slovenly person," 1861; M.Du. slore "a sluttish woman").
http://www.etymonline.com/index.php?term=slut
 

sunsetspawn

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Queen Michael said:
The problem it's that it doesn't just categorize, it judges. "Liar" just mean "person who tells lies," but "slut" means "person who has a lot of sex and is a bad person because of that."
That's not entirely true. Although I prefer the term "hoe" because I grew up in New York, let's go with "slut" for the moment.

Slut doesn't have to be bad. A girl can be a righteous slut, or not. I love a good righteous slut because they know what they want, don't care what others think, and they do their dirt for themselves.

Then there's the kind of slut that behaves that way for the approval of men, and that shit is rather off-putting.

See, if I'm talking about a righteous slut I just make sure to emphasize the word "righteous," and I also explain what I'm talking about. Of course, I say "righteous hoe," but hey, I'm in New York, fuhgeddaboutit.
 

sunsetspawn

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Dascylus said:
Oh and people, grow up and take the gender off the word slut. It applies to us all.
I'm going to address this because it's simply incorrect. In the case of promiscuity the different terms for men and women are there for a reason. For a straight man to be promiscuous he needs to have two additional character traits in addition to simply wanting to make cumsies with a woman.

First, a man must be skilled in the art of seduction or simply be able to spot a woman too drunk to say no. Of course, this trait is inversely preportional to how attractive said man is, but no matter how attractive, some degree of seduction must be present.

Second, that man must also posses the ability to disregard the emotions of the woman involved. Now, it may not be always be the case that you will hurt the woman in question, but it often will be and therefore requires the ability to not care if you do so. This is actually the reason I've bowed out of dating for over a year: I don't feel capable of actually having a relationship, but I don't want to hurt any feelings with casual nut busting.

A woman needs no other trait other than desire.

Class dismissed.
 

FallenMessiah88

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Because words like "liar" and "cheater" are merely descriptive terms, while "slut" is judgemental.

Also, "slut" can also be used against men just as much as against women.
 

Musette

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Apr 19, 2010
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Above all else, it's the connotation of the word and the implied judgements made. "Slut" tends to have a negative connotation, as it implies that you are not as good of a person because of how much you sleep around or how provocatively you dress. Because of this connotation, calling a person a slut is making an assumption that they dress too provocatively or sleep around too much, and by extension, assuming that this person is inferior because of these traits.

I know that people are trying to retake the word and give it a positive meaning, but the connotation hasn't really changed yet.
 

GildaTheGriffin

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Slut is a word that describes a women that has a lot of sex with many different men or dresses provocatively. Usually from my POV, women who are sluts are usually dress with a very design to provoke men to have sex with her.

Though never call a women a slut if she sleeps/have sex with one man a lot.
 

Infernai

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SmashLovesTitanQuest said:
I'll leave you with this piece of wisdom OP: you can say anything you like, anything. It just depends on how you say it.
In other words:


As you said, you can say anything you want. It just depends on how you say it. Also, is it wrong that i've really been wanting to use that clip i just posted for a long time?

(Thank you for giving me the opportunity to do so)
 

CannibalCorpses

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I use the word slut to mean anyone who has a lot of sexual partners in a short space of time. I've called my brother a slut for having 3 partners on the go at once. I've called my female friends sluts when they pull in a nightclub on multiple occasions. I've been called a slut for pulling a different girl 3 weeks running.

From what i've read on here, it depends on which country you live in as to what the actual context is. I'm from northern England and we tend to be rather blunt in our approach to language, but also less harsh in meaning. I call my friends '****' from time to time and it has no more meaning than 'mate'...slut is no different.