The Stupidest Thing You've Ever Heard

[DocBalance]

@Skyline14

Also - being isolated or considered a lunatic for not believing in overwhelmingly accepted theories within scientific and academic forums is not limited to evolution. If one is so ignorant in the face of logic and evidence to believe that the Earth is flat, or that the Sun revolves around the Earth then of course they will be considered an irrational lunatic.

It is no surprise that this is also the case with evolution-disputers.

However, I think that evolution is not given anywhere near enough credibility as a widely-agreed theory. How it is still up for debate is astonishing - similarly to abortion/homosexuality (Christianity), circumcision/kosher (Judaism) and rape/punishments/sexism/takeyourpick (Islam) it is ultimately because of religion that the progress and adoption of rational science is stunted

And yet this is not exclusive to religion. I will submit and agree that woefully perverse things have been done in the name of religion towards science, but the same also applies in reverse. To put evolution disputers on the same level as believing the Earth is flat is both hasty and shows exactly what I mean. Show me one, just one stitch of proof that actual evolution, not natural selection, but actual, wide-scale evolution, has EVER occurred, and such a view would perhaps be justified. However, the above proof DOES NOT EXIST. Thus, evolution SHOULD be up for debate, and SHOULD be classified as a highly-suspect theory until such a time when ACTUAL proof surfaces.

@Chrono180

There are no such thing as species; we simply classify various stages of animals based on the evidence we have at hand. Bizarrely, if we had access to a fossil of every creature that has ever existed then there would be absolutely no way to classify each species! We would see a continuous line of almost impossibly minute changes all the way from the single-celled primitive life forms all the way to modern-day mammals, viruses, plants and bacteria. Amazing, huh?

Gaps, rather than flaws, would be more accurate. Deliberately placed gaps (in the face of insufficient evidence in certain areas) however, in much the same way that the periodic table was designed.

Good sir, I ask you, if there is no fossil record of an animal, and no proof that it is around today, then how can you say it existed in the first place?

 

[Vhite]

/flameshield on
Macs are better then PC in every way.

 

[jojoemon]

Plenty of things I can't recall at this time. One thing that does stand out is a time from H.S. science class when someone was explaining a problem involving survival-of-the-fittest.

The teacher asked the student what happened to the animals that didn't survive to procreate.

To which the student responded, "They got dead."

I shoved my fist in my mouth as to not burst out laughing.

Why? I mean, the student was correct. You just laugh at people for bad grammar?

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

"You know Canada is communist, right?"

Unbelievable...

 

[Deathsong17]

One girl in my school didn't know that were black people in America. The same year Obama was elected too...

 

[A random person]

That the Illuminati created love to control the masses. This explains why the Bible, another one of their mind control devices, has Jesus say the greatest love is laying your life down for a friend. Also, the Illuminati created the family in the stone age.

The above came from a men's rights conspiracy theorist known as Globalman.

 

[Hawkeye16]

"Why do we get monday off?"

"Its bid day stupid!" Dumbass replied.

"Its also MLK day." Says the teacher.

"Yeah, MLK day is always on Bid Day".

 

[DocBalance]

Well, I was going to use "every time someone takes the iPhone seriously as a handheld game platform and compares it to the PSP or DS", but after reading this thread, I have to agree with the following:

The above-quoted text demonstrating ignorance of utterly basic science is my candidate for stupidest thing I've read or heard this week, possibly this month.

Sir, is the ad hominem really necessary? Really? If you want to disagree, then let's act like adults here. Otherwise we are no better than children, squabbling in a sand box.

 

[Aureli]

The stupidest thing I have ever heard comes from the mouths of the members of the Westboro Baptist Church. Everything they say is complete and utter nonsense.

 

[Jedamethis]

The Theory of Evolution.

Yeah, go ahead, laugh. I'm entitled to my opinion, and you can pry it from my cold, dead hands

If you don't mind my asking, why is it the stupidest thing you've ever heard?

Well, because it is often trumpeted as the end all, be all solution for where life came from, when it is actually laughably flimsy. I'm a very "prove it" sort of guy, and so far I haven't seen any proof that evolution is even possible. Natural selection, yes. Evolution? No.

I guess I should reform my statement a bit: The theory, as presented by Charles Darwin, while somewhat ridiculous, has merit, as a theory and a theory alone. The way it is presented, at least around here, as the Holy Grail of Science makes me absolutely sick to my stomach. That slavish devotion to a theory that hasn't even been proven as of yet tops every stupid thing I've ever heard from a religious fanatic, if only because religion, in and of itself, attracts fanaticism and fervor. It is built on the principle of believing the unbelievable. Science is supposed to be above that, but that sadly ceased being the case some time ago.

Ah, I see what you mean.

 

[Link Yeah]

Just so you know - I'm not trying to make this argument religious and I'm happy to drop the topic, it's just that evolution/atheism and creationism/ID/religion are so closely linked in Western culture. I certainly don't mean to attack your assumed spiritual beliefs; I do so only when they interfere with what I believe is logical scientific and social thought.

There IS evidence for said animal. But let's say we have a fossil record available for an animal at 20million years, 10million years and 1million years old. We would classify the three different distinct fauna as separate species based on their taxonomy. We can easily track the changes in the genetic structure across this time period and there is overwhelming evidence to suggest mr20mill evolved into mr1mill via the middle stage of mr10mill. However, if we had access to every single fossil for that 20million year period then we would not be able to pick out any individual as distinctly different from any other near its generation - they would super-gradually blend into the next.

I'm not sure how you can believe in natural selection and not apply that to evolution? Please would you kindly elaborate?

There is no objective proof for anything. We have evidence that the Earth is not flat (satellite pictures, curvature of the Earth, global navigation) though none of it is 100% proof. Some irrefutable evidence could somehow show up at a later date to prove this theory wrong.

Similarly with evolution, there is overwhelming evidence to suggest its validity. Even the most primitive analysis of DNA & genetics can tell us a great deal about how different genes are inherited and carried throughout organisms throughout extended periods of time. A good and unarguable example is Catalyst8's peppered moth as described above, among countless others. Mutations irrefutably happen and can also be observed to remain within the species, especially if it is a beneficial one. I'm not going to list all of the evidence for evolution, it would take a long time and may also require an advanced understanding of genetics for some parts (I have a degree in psychobiology so I don't mean to patronise or baffle - I'm never sure how much to assume of others).

How do you propose people of other ethnicities came to be? Were they all put there simultaneously and different (same species I know)? How do you propose genes are able to be inherited and mutated across different species? How did modern humans come into existence? What day was that on? Are you suggesting that Cro-Magnons and Neanderthals slowly developed in physique and intelligence over hundreds of thousands of years only to one day all die just before they were of 'human-quality' and be replaced by modern homo-sapiens? Evolution easily and scientifically explains and rationalises this - what conceivable other process occurred?

 

[MadMechanic]

Whenever I end up listening to some uneducated cretin trying to discuss politics in public.
[sub]I'm sorry, but I'm a politics student, and I've been interested by this stuff since I was 10[/sub]
The run up to the latest UK election was absolute hell, but pure comic gold too.
I really tried not to laugh at this (and ended up getting off the bus for a moment)

"Who you gunna vote fer in the election then?"
"ooh, yano, sdp...cos I like their policies on immigration, cos there's too many people here"
[sub] the SDP do not exist. the SNP do - but they're scottish nationals, with no immigration polices...I assume she meant BNP...[/sub]
"how about you?"
"I know...Ned Clogg!. Yano, the fit guy from the Labour-Demicoots..."

*facepalm*

 

[SFR]

The Theory of Evolution.

Yeah, go ahead, laugh. I'm entitled to my opinion, and you can pry it from my cold, dead hands

If you don't mind my asking, why is it the stupidest thing you've ever heard?

Well, because it is often trumpeted as the end all, be all solution for where life came from, when it is actually laughably flimsy. I'm a very "prove it" sort of guy, and so far I haven't seen any proof that evolution is even possible. Natural selection, yes. Evolution? No.

I guess I should reform my statement a bit: The theory, as presented by Charles Darwin, while somewhat ridiculous, has merit, as a theory and a theory alone. The way it is presented, at least around here, as the Holy Grail of Science makes me absolutely sick to my stomach. That slavish devotion to a theory that hasn't even been proven as of yet tops every stupid thing I've ever heard from a religious fanatic, if only because religion, in and of itself, attracts fanaticism and fervor. It is built on the principle of believing the unbelievable. Science is supposed to be above that, but that sadly ceased being the case some time ago.

EVOLUTION SAYS NOTHING ABOUT WHERE LIFE CAME FROM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Why do people not know that? Seriously... It says nothing about it. Also, the "theory" part is based of the scientific definition, which states that a scientific theory is how something happens, in short, it's fact... Evolution is more proven than GRAVITY. We have more understanding of evolution than gravity (known as "The Theory of Gravity" mind you). I don't think anyone can deny evolution happening, it happens all the time with bacteria and houseflies. The main thing is, people just don't know what evolution is.

 

[moosek]

My 10th grade english class's discussion on analogies. Half the class was focused on the "anal" part of analogy, and the other half was mentally asleep.

I blew a fuse when I close female friend failed at making a deep analogy. Something about apples and apple juice, then apples and orange juice. I actually blacked out from the rage I felt towards the surrounding stupidity.

 

[Link Yeah]

I'll shut up now. The topic has gone of track by miiiiiilllllesss.

Stupidest things I've ever heard are conspiracy theories. Man definitely, definitely, DEFINITELY landed on the moon. 9/11 wasn't an inside job. The Illuminti don't do shit. Especially kill Heath Ledger and make The Imaginarum of Dr Parnassus!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8uRgedp1v5U

typical - the first comment. WTF!!!!
"the tragedy in Moscow metro ,another ritual sacrifice by the illuminati ,high rank freemasons in russian's goverment. l will be not surprise if the next target is Canada especially Montreal because the infrastructure are old and creepy(bridges;highways)remenber that"

Also, here's a classic I heard

"wouldn't it be way easier if the alphabet was in some kind of order?"

 

[flipsalty]

I don't remember how we got started talking about this, but one of my old co-workers once claimed that AIDS was not a disease, it was a symptom of a disease.
Another former co-worker claimed that he was a part of the Crips, Bloods and Jugalos (the three biggest gangs in America. THis same co-worker also claimed that he and a friend hacked into the worlds Nuclear Launch codes (U.S.A.,Russia, etc.) and created a program that, if they did not input a code every so often, would launch every single nuclear missile into the sun and cause it to either explode or go supernova (either way it would have destroyed Earth).

Yet another former co-worker thought that him (at age 17) reading all of the Goosebumps books in a year was an accomplishment. Finally, the stupidest thing I may have heard was when Goosebumps guy claimed that Jar-Jar Binks was a better character than Chewbacca.

AIDS is not a disease, HIV is, AIDS is a side effect

 

[DocBalance]

-snip-

Well, sir, it is quite simple, really. I shall use the three-point system of judgement, as outlined by Aristotle in Nichomechean Ethics: Natural selection is the balance, fervent creationism that states everything was created and nothing has changed is the absence, and evolution is the over-abundance. Natural selection states, for instance, that moths can change their colors, that finches can change their beaks, etc etc. Evolution takes that a step further: Over millions and millions of years, a finch in a certain region, with certain conditions, can change it's beak, bone structure, diet, wing-span, talons, eyesight, and so on to become an eagle, if proper conditions are met. Evolution is, in essence, the over-appliance of natural selection. Is it feasibly possible because of natural selection? Yes, of course. However, the question is this: Would the intermediate beings, feasibly, be able to survive? If, to use the example of apes turning into humans, apes evolved lack of musclemass, or hairlessness first. Their conditions would suddenly be changed to the point of where the new species was less apt for survival except in extreme circumstances. In most situations, significant intelligence would have to be adapted before any other changes can occur, but this begs the question: Why are there people in regions where apes readily survive? If both man and ape can survive in an environment, then what impetus is there for evolution, if it is theoretically possible, to occur?

As to the different ethnicities, it is the same as above: Different traits where subtly adapted within homo sapien to suit their given region. HOWEVER, this is natural selection, not evolution. As stated before, evolution is the over-appliance of natural selection.

The Theory of Evolution.

Yeah, go ahead, laugh. I'm entitled to my opinion, and you can pry it from my cold, dead hands

If you don't mind my asking, why is it the stupidest thing you've ever heard?

Well, because it is often trumpeted as the end all, be all solution for where life came from, when it is actually laughably flimsy. I'm a very "prove it" sort of guy, and so far I haven't seen any proof that evolution is even possible. Natural selection, yes. Evolution? No.

I guess I should reform my statement a bit: The theory, as presented by Charles Darwin, while somewhat ridiculous, has merit, as a theory and a theory alone. The way it is presented, at least around here, as the Holy Grail of Science makes me absolutely sick to my stomach. That slavish devotion to a theory that hasn't even been proven as of yet tops every stupid thing I've ever heard from a religious fanatic, if only because religion, in and of itself, attracts fanaticism and fervor. It is built on the principle of believing the unbelievable. Science is supposed to be above that, but that sadly ceased being the case some time ago.

EVOLUTION SAYS NOTHING ABOUT WHERE LIFE CAME FROM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Why do people not know that? Seriously... It says nothing about it. Also, the "theory" part is based of the scientific definition, which states that a scientific theory is how something happens, in short, it's fact... Evolution is more proven than GRAVITY. We have more understanding of evolution than gravity (known as "The Theory of Gravity" mind you). I don't think anyone can deny evolution happening, it happens all the time with bacteria and houseflies. The main thing is, people just don't know what evolution is.

Your argument has already been addressed, good sir. Also, please stop abusing Billy Mays mode. Caps lock was not meant for entire sentences.

 

[tha lime]

haha.. nice storys but this one is a topper.

i dont remember how but one day me and a friend start talking about relegion, and for some reasone we start talking about jesus, and were he lived. after a while she suddenly says:
ooooooh.... i thought Jesus were Danish (me and my friend are both Danish) I stare at her and say´s WHAT?!!! were do you get that idea from??? then she replys: because its written in danish, in the relegion books!(shes thingking that because the language is Danish, then jesus must be Danish)

that made my MONTH!

 

['Aredor]

I have to go with the whole "Obama = Hitler" comparison seen at those tea parties in the wake of the health care debate.

You can divide by zero; the result is infinity.

Um, no you can't and it isn't. Oldest proof in the book for that: otherwise 1 would be equal to 2.

one of my old co-workers once claimed that AIDS was not a disease, it was a symptom of a disease

Well that's not so far from the truth, I guess it depends on your definition of a disease: AIDS is, in fact, a syndrome caused by HIV; what he meant to say was probably that you can't get infected with AIDS, only with HIV.