Things That Make or Break a Relationship

[Julianking93]

First off, yes its another relationship thread, but this one's different. It isn't about me personally, it has a discussion.

So, what are some things that can make or break a relationship for you? Something that is on your list for a perfect girl/boy and things that would make you instantly decide to never see that person again.

For me, things that make a relationship are; likes manga, intelligent, likes same movies and if she's Asian or English.
Things that break a relationship; she's a devout religious fanatic, hates videogames, traditionalist and wants to marry as soon as possible.

So what about the Escapist? What makes or breaks relationships for you?

 

[Akkiko]

My biggest hype is trust. Not in the way of cheating on me or whatever but being able to tell him a secret and not have it broadcasted to all of our friends. The cheating thing doesn't hurt me nearly as much as a betrayal.

 

[Icecoldcynic]

My biggest hype is trust. Not in the way of cheating on me or whatever but being able to tell him a secret and not have it broadcasted to all of our friends. The cheating thing doesn't hurt me nearly as much as a betrayal.

I agree with the whole trust thing. But to add to it: I'd need her to be able to trust me, because if she feels she can't trust me, I don't feel like I can trust her. In my opinion, trust is ALWAYS a two-way thing.

 

[the_bearpelt]

Ignoring obvious things (racist/evil/murderer/etc.), for me a deal-breaker is when they're immature. I just can't stand immaturity.
Which I consider different from youthfulness or silliness.

The two things I have always found to be the things that make me attracted to a guy are these: he has to be intellectual, and he has to be able to make me laugh. I have a very picky sense of humor, but if you know what makes me laugh, chances are I'll laugh at the same joke for several years and not get tired of it.


Other deal-breakers would just include the obvious, for me.

 

[the_bearpelt]

Mm, yeah, trust is a big focus for me too, actually.

My problem is that I expect people to be as trusting with their secrets as I am. Unfortunately, it is not so. Sometimes it's hard for me to remember that, even with friends. *sighs*

 

[Berethond]

If they don't like music. That would be an instant deal-breaker, considering I'm studying to become a musician. The other thing that would make me run away from a date is if we have a conversation like this:

Me: So I'm studying to become a musician.
Date: I love music! It's, like, my life.
Me: So who're some of your favorite artists?
Date: [Insert pop artists ere]
Me: *runs in front of bus*

 

[Kaboose the Moose]

She has to be tall. It's weird and possibly shallow but..we 6'3" folk need some loving too. I once dated a girl who was 5'3" and it was ridiculous.

That and she can't be the clingy type, you know the ones who are always looking for your approval and company. That just annoys me. She has to be independent.

 

[Cherry Cola]

Here are what I don't want in a girlfriend:

*reads a long list of all my ex-girlfriends and why they where total bitches*

Done.

 

[Cherry Cola]

She has to be tall. It's weird and possibly shallow but..we 6'3" folk need some loving too. I once dated a girl who was 5'3" and it was ridiculous.

I dated a girl who was 5'1", and I'm 6'6".

Although that wasn't what killed the relationship. It was because she lied to me [sub]And the five-o's of course[/sub]

 

[Borrowed Time]

Communication... If she can't talk to me about the littlest thing and instead sucks it inside to fester and turns it into a toxic relationship, we're done.

Trust... If I feel like I can't turn my back without a dagger sticking out of it not long afterwards, there's no hope. This pertains to all forms of the word, from cheating to secrets. I don't keep secrets from my significant other as that would show I don't trust her.

Intelligence... If I can hold a 10 minute conversation with her with out it devolving into having to talk about some mainstream pop culture fiasco, then I'm good. If I can throw a couple big words around with out her eyes glazing over, then I'm good. If I have to resort to talking like any of the individuals from any MTV reality show to hold her interest, NEXT!!! (pun intended)

Maintenance... If I have to constantly worry every moment of the day about whether or not I'm doing everything right to make her little princess reality true, even on the days when I'm working a 12 hour shift, then it's just not going to work. Sure, I love making my significant other happy and I'll try my hardest to do so, but if too much is demanded, I'll eventually break down. Not to mention that wonderful feeling of being taken advantage of. I tend to get rather bitter when I detect that bull crap.

Love... She... has... to... choose... to... love... me... None of this touchy, feely, same hobby, same kind of music, same kind of food bull. She better damn well be prepared to make the choice each and every day to love me, if that's not the case, then someday we WILL fail. I know that I'll have to make that choice every day to love her. There will be tons of times that I won't want to love her, but I'll choose to otherwise. I need the same from her. It's the one condition of unconditional love.

 

[Caligulove]

people say trust etc a lot... but honestly, what can make or break a relationship with me is physical attractiveness. It does not mean the kind of shallow relationships that people have.

But you need that to be around the person. I guess attractiveness overall, emotional, etc- something that makes you WANT to be around them beyond the fact that they are your girlfriend, or your boyfriend or you wife etc. You can have all of that trust and other emotional bonds with someone... but you need to be able to have that physical activity, the attraction and the sexual activity.

Sex changes everything between two people, and its also an indicator of other things going on in the relationship... and also can be the first thing to fix.

(I should say that I am talking about long-term relationships. I wont know how old everyone in this thread is, nor do I assume anything about anyones sex lives.)

 

[Link Kadeshi]

A big thing is that she has to be a real woman. Not one with an a surgery in the past.... No, if you've got DNA that is not female, please no.
In case you think I'm over hyping it, I live in New York remember... Yeah.
Beyond that, no cheating, and we're good. Though if you are like an ex and can't count too high, I don't care how good your body is, I'm not doing that again.

 

[Noamuth]

I don't like people who are really pushy about their religious views as a general rule, so dating someone like that would be very hard for me. That goes for racism as well, actually.
Childishness gets to me as well. I mean, a bit of cute/baby talk every now and then is okay, but when adults talk to each other like they're fucking toddlers? Makes me feel sick, 'specially since I know people like that. So that's a big no.

Self-respect is important for me as well. I worry when people don't take care of themselves, especially what they eat. If you don't care about what you have in your diet at least a little bit, then how much do you care about yourself in general, let alone others?
Probably just the wog in me coming out, but I make try to make sure my girlfriend at least eats well when she stays at my place, an' she loves it.

Things that make a relationship for me? Well, the above point, self-respect, for one. A good sense of humour is a must, as well as an open mind. A passion for hobbies/nerdiness is always awesome (my girlfriend likes knitting and.. Battlestar Galactica? wut).
The ability to express oneself and to trust is an obvious one as well, along with physical attractiveness. Mmm, tall.

 

[Axle_Bullitt_19]

I'd have to say this pretty much sums it up

Spoiler: Perfection by ALL

i'm the kind of guy who never gets there with too
many expectations i don't mind every time i try to
make concessions i feel like a dope for thinking
she's so fine then i'm back where i started from i
won't settle for blank affection i'll hold out for
total perfection so for now i'm caught in the
middle i'm waiting for the perfect someone all in
time till then i've got my friends to count on
they give me all the strength i need to ease my
mind time for life to be divine i won't settle for
blank affection i'll hold out for total perfection
you pretend and live a lie stain yourself with
compromise i intend to conquer the day make my
love in a better way in the end i won't settle for
blank affection (i'll hold out for total
perfection) i won't settle for blank affection
(i'll hold out for total perfection)

I Love this song. Now if only it wasn't a 1:37 long.

 

[Kaboose the Moose]

She has to be tall. It's weird and possibly shallow but..we 6'3" folk need some loving too. I once dated a girl who was 5'3" and it was ridiculous.

I dated a girl who was 5'1", and I'm 6'6".

Although that wasn't what killed the relationship. It was because she lied to me [sub]And the five-o's of course[/sub]

Single bed, I'm tall and she's not, I toss and turn a lot when I sleep..I nearly smothered her by accident one day.

Though that wasn't the final nail in the coffin (I was leaving the country for a significant period of time) I couldn't help but feel that the variation in height was straining more than my anatomy.

I'm not saying that I don't love short girls, just not as much as the ones above 5'6".

 

[Julianking93]

She has to be tall. It's weird and possibly shallow but..we 6'3" folk need some loving too. I once dated a girl who was 5'3" and it was ridiculous.

What about a girl who's taller than you?

My first girl friend was 5'11 when I was still 5'8 (I'm now 6'3)

 

[Borrowed Time]

She has to be tall. It's weird and possibly shallow but..we 6'3" folk need some loving too. I once dated a girl who was 5'3" and it was ridiculous.

I dated a girl who was 5'1", and I'm 6'6".

Although that wasn't what killed the relationship. It was because she lied to me [sub]And the five-o's of course[/sub]

Single bed, I'm tall and she's not, I toss and turn a lot when I sleep..I nearly smothered her by accident one day.

Though that wasn't the final nail in the coffin (I was leaving the country for a significant period of time) I couldn't help but feel that the variation in height was straining more than my anatomy.

I'm not saying that I don't love short girls, just not as much as the ones above 5'6".

6'2" here and my wife is 4'11". Then again, we have a Queen bed and I don't move around much. Holy crap though, it's amazing how much of the bed she can take up while still being so small, kind of like a cat.

 

[Kaboose the Moose]

She has to be tall. It's weird and possibly shallow but..we 6'3" folk need some loving too. I once dated a girl who was 5'3" and it was ridiculous.

What about a girl who's taller than you?

My first girl friend was 5'11 when I was still 5'8 (I'm now 6'3)

If she's taller than me then why teach her when she can teach me..eh?..eh?..eh?

She has to be tall. It's weird and possibly shallow but..we 6'3" folk need some loving too. I once dated a girl who was 5'3" and it was ridiculous.

I dated a girl who was 5'1", and I'm 6'6".

Although that wasn't what killed the relationship. It was because she lied to me [sub]And the five-o's of course[/sub]

Single bed, I'm tall and she's not, I toss and turn a lot when I sleep..I nearly smothered her by accident one day.

Though that wasn't the final nail in the coffin (I was leaving the country for a significant period of time) I couldn't help but feel that the variation in height was straining more than my anatomy.

I'm not saying that I don't love short girls, just not as much as the ones above 5'6".

6'2" here and my wife is 4'11". Then again, we have a Queen bed and I don't move around much. Holy crap though, it's amazing how much of the bed she can take up while still being so small, kind of like a cat.

Oh I have been an avid supporter to have all university dorms swap single wooden beds for queen beds but sadly some people think it's a waste of a good budget. Queen/King size beds are the only way to go for a comfortable nights sleep.

 

[madcap2112]

Me: So I'm studying to become a musician.
Date: I love music! It's, like, my life.
Me: So who're some of your favorite artists?
Date: [Insert pop artists ere]
Me: *runs in front of bus*

I like to think of those situations as a challenge. It's a chance to spread the good word of good music.

But if it doesn't work, then run. Run far and fast.

 

[Julianking93]

Me: So I'm studying to become a musician.
Date: I love music! It's, like, my life.
Me: So who're some of your favorite artists?
Date: [Insert pop artists ere]
Me: *runs in front of bus*

I like to think of those situations as a challenge. It's a chance to spread the good word of good music.

But if it doesn't work, then run. Run far and fast.

Usually if someone says they like any random top 40 artist, they won't like good music.