Things That Make or Break a Relationship
- Thread starter Julianking93
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Attraction, i would not date somewone who i dont find attractive.
Humour, i would not date some one who can make me laugh/understand my own jokes.
Humour, i would not date some one who can make me laugh/understand my own jokes.
Trust. Common interests. Sex. Attitude. If some of these are not in line, the relationship is unlikely to work.
Haha, I love the fact that I agree with you on pretty much every point.Borrowed Time said:
Communication. Yeah, I want to be able to talk about absolutely anything. I always tell her that if something is ever bothering her in our relationship, I want her to tell me, and we'll talk about it. Rather then it blowing up in a fight 4 months later.
Trust. Withouth it there isn't that much of a point to it is there? Ofc, you don't have to totally trust each other from the start, but if you never start doing it I would very much consider not staying for dessert.
Intelligence. Oh hell yes! I'm thinking about it in another way you described, but still. To me an event came to pass, I was talking to a girl whom I thought looked rather nice and I figured something might come from this. But then a certain subject came up, a philosofical piece of text that a guy had on a poster. I thought it wasn't true, she did and I tried explaining my view of it...again...and again...and again. She never got it. And it wasn't that she just didn't agree with me, she just didn't understand the point I wanted to make. And that just killed all the sex appeal she had.
Maintenance. Pretty much what you said. If it's not enough that I say I'll be here, but have to constantly prove it, then I'm out. That said, as you said it's always nice to do your best to make him/her happy with things, but only as long as it's not per demand from him/her.
Love. It will come sooner or later, if not, maybe you should just be fuck buddies?
I don't think love have to be around in the beginning. "You kinda like me? Well I kinda like you!" is quite enough at the start. Then of course if it doesn't develop the way you want, feel free to leave. But me, yeah I think it feels nice to have someone tell me they love me in this stage in life at least. I think this one can differ though, if I just wanted someone to be with, to not be alone, love probably wouldn't matter that much. It all depends on what you're after here I guess.
Aye, well considering I'm one of the older, married Escapists, I kind of base my idea off of a relationship that I'll be playing for keeps in. :shrug: Then again I was never one to dink around in the dating field. I never really figured that it was worth my time to devote myself emotionally, mentally and physically to a relationship that was just for shits n' giggles.MBergman said:
Common interests are vital, you've got to be able to talk to the other person without boring them. For me, compatable interests include- Video gaming, rock/metal music, anime/manga, cinema, comedy, literature, and internet culture. It would also be ideal if they had some acedemic interests of sort, thus being intelligent enough to discuss academic topics with. For me, the humanities most interest me. I'm alright with sciences, but humanities are preferable. Provided they have some academic interest, then i'm ok. If they have a creative interest, like playing instuments or writing stories or poetry thats great.
Ultimatly, you just want someone who is interesting, and thus you will be confortable spending time with them, and essentially get on like a house on fire.
Cognate personality- their personality has to match with my own. I could not really go out with one big highly social extrovert, since i would feel forever in their shadow. Ideally, they should be reflective, thoughtful and to an extent introverted. That way your on an equal level with them, and you can easily relate to eachother.
Other features- practical things like where they live are important, you obviously need to be able to get to them easily enough. Physical attractiveness as well, since thats the first thing you notice about them in the first place. It also helps if you get on with the rest of their family.
Ultimatly, you just want someone who is interesting, and thus you will be confortable spending time with them, and essentially get on like a house on fire.
Cognate personality- their personality has to match with my own. I could not really go out with one big highly social extrovert, since i would feel forever in their shadow. Ideally, they should be reflective, thoughtful and to an extent introverted. That way your on an equal level with them, and you can easily relate to eachother.
Other features- practical things like where they live are important, you obviously need to be able to get to them easily enough. Physical attractiveness as well, since thats the first thing you notice about them in the first place. It also helps if you get on with the rest of their family.
Here's my stance:
Maker-She's an average looking (I.E not some glitzy bimbo, just a normal girl) Decently intelligent (It wouldn't be very good if she wasn't very intelligent, but if they were some kind of prodigy that would get in the way too) girl who has a surprising (But not extremely geekish) knowledge of videogames and movies. And a good sense of humour is always a very nice touch...as is brown hair...and uh, mild...freckles.
Breaker-A control freak genius (To the point where she could rival great minds like Steven Hawking) who never wants to have fun, is always straight faced, super well kept and squeaky clean along with being a very hardcore Atheist (Actually being too Christian would be a downer as well) who constantly points out inconsistencies in plot and logic whenever I try to watch a film or play a game. Or if she was once a man that would be an instant kill even if he/she was what I was looking for.
But honestly when the time comes as long as we make each other happy then she doesn't have to be some kind of dream girl. I haven't had any real experience with the uh, opposite persuasion (Though I'm only 14 so why should I?) so forgive me if I failed to mention some unspoken rule of finding a partner.
Maker-She's an average looking (I.E not some glitzy bimbo, just a normal girl) Decently intelligent (It wouldn't be very good if she wasn't very intelligent, but if they were some kind of prodigy that would get in the way too) girl who has a surprising (But not extremely geekish) knowledge of videogames and movies. And a good sense of humour is always a very nice touch...as is brown hair...and uh, mild...freckles.
Breaker-A control freak genius (To the point where she could rival great minds like Steven Hawking) who never wants to have fun, is always straight faced, super well kept and squeaky clean along with being a very hardcore Atheist (Actually being too Christian would be a downer as well) who constantly points out inconsistencies in plot and logic whenever I try to watch a film or play a game. Or if she was once a man that would be an instant kill even if he/she was what I was looking for.
But honestly when the time comes as long as we make each other happy then she doesn't have to be some kind of dream girl. I haven't had any real experience with the uh, opposite persuasion (Though I'm only 14 so why should I?) so forgive me if I failed to mention some unspoken rule of finding a partner.
Trustworthy, in both the cheating and and regular senses,
Moderately good looking. I know it makes me sound like a dick but if you're ugly you're out!,
Decent music taste, we would have to have at least one common band/genre or something like that, music being a huge part of my life,
Gets along with my friends, this was the problem with my ex, whenever a friend tried to talk to me she would hit them then try and pretend nothing happened which brings me to. . .
Not too clingy, I need to have my own friends, and I need to spend time with them as well.
That would be great for me, but hey I guess I can't have it all.
Moderately good looking. I know it makes me sound like a dick but if you're ugly you're out!,
Decent music taste, we would have to have at least one common band/genre or something like that, music being a huge part of my life,
Gets along with my friends, this was the problem with my ex, whenever a friend tried to talk to me she would hit them then try and pretend nothing happened which brings me to. . .
Not too clingy, I need to have my own friends, and I need to spend time with them as well.
That would be great for me, but hey I guess I can't have it all.
To put it bluntly. The sex.
I've broken off at least 2 relationships because she has just been bad in bed.
I've broken off at least 2 relationships because she has just been bad in bed.
I don't want one of the ***** white trash ghetto girls that seem to populate my school.
All they do is:
A.)Smoke
B.)Fight
C.)Date guys who probably beat the shit out of them
D.)Spread 'em
All they do is:
A.)Smoke
B.)Fight
C.)Date guys who probably beat the shit out of them
D.)Spread 'em
Simple really, if a girl thinks video games are stupid we were never meant to be together to begin with. I'm not that shallow; if she's great and all I may let that slide by although other things come into play. Loyalty, patience, communication, creativity and eagerness... Can go on for a while.
This may sound ridiculous, but I've never seen the point of dating if the two people don't love each other, and if that's the case, well, things will probably work themselves out. You can argue that loving someone doesn't make you become perfect, but if it's actually love, then that you will do whatever it takes to please your love and be the best person you can. Unfortunately, many people don't really realize what love is and mistake passion or some other feeling with it. Others, well, are just dicks.
I know this will come across as immature and naive to most of you, but it's what I believe in and you can bet I'm a very, very happy person.
I know this will come across as immature and naive to most of you, but it's what I believe in and you can bet I'm a very, very happy person.
Confidence is a major, major plus for me one sided conversations get old real fast and certinaly wont last a relationship nor am I desperate enough to try building on usless foundation. Personality this one speaks for itself I dont care if we dont have all the same things in common, if we disagree on issues thats going to be the case 9/10 times but dear god please be yourself, be a damned person have opinions, have problems dont just nod and go along with everything. Being hot is always a big plus and healthy and interesting in bed seriously stressing on that last one.
Oh but nagging is an instant break I hate having people get on at me I do things at my own pace and speak to me like a damned person I will not have bloody shouting matches.
Oh but nagging is an instant break I hate having people get on at me I do things at my own pace and speak to me like a damned person I will not have bloody shouting matches.