Things you just don't "get".

[Sefa Lagaaia]

Attention whores. Nuff said.

 

[lacktheknack]

Chalk another one up for strip clubs.

Anyways, I don't get interpretive dance.

<youtube=GNh9488y0WI>

I construct a lovely set of meanings in my head where the choreographer is trying to demonstrate the inherent injustice of a patriarchy with demonstrations of crippling and immobility, but then a woman with a microphone in her gullet goes offstage to have an orgasm while a dude with crutches glares menacingly at the audience while smacking a coatrack with a pole coming from his crotch, and I get confused again.

 

[umboo890]

My neighbor is an ant-racist skinhead, apparently those exist, but it still confuses me.
Then again, I like Kamen rider, a thing many people would put on their list.
People who still like fat wreck chords.

 

[fangclaw]

There are way too many things to list so i'll just stick with some gaming ones:

Hating something because it's popular. even worse if you try to hide that you hate it for its popularity and try to cover it up with lame excuses.

Excessive fanboyism. i have never liked anything as much as some other people like something, but i would still consider myself a fanboy of some stuff.

Dante (from original DMC's) he was just a giant joke i can't see any reason to like him.

all of these are my opinions based on my personal experiences.
(one more thing, the fact that i have to do this ^ or else risk being set upon be idiots who can't think enough to figure out that they are my opinions for themselves)

 

[Starik20X6]

I don't get Brony-ism. I've got no problem with it, whatever floats your boat and all that, but I was forced to watch some of the show and it definitely wasn't for me.

[hr]

I don't get how some people seem capable of going through life completely oblivious to the world around them. For an example of what I'm talking about, this is an honest to god conversation I had the other day:

Friend 1: What're you doing?

Me: Just listening to Mel Brooks.

F1: *blank stare*

Me: You know who Mel Brooks is, right?

F1: Yeah...

Me: Ok, what has he done?

F1: ... Movies?

Me: Jesus. *I turn to another friend* Do you know who Mel Brooks is?

Friend 2: *blank stare*

Me: *turning to yet another friend* Please tell me you know who he is!

Friend 3: *pause* ... Braveheart, right?

I swear that happened. And that's by far not the only example I have of this sort of thing. I mean, I can understand not knowing who, say, Bo Burnham [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k1wbG58vY7k] is, but this is comedy god Mel freakin' Brooks we're talking about. Honestly.

[hr]

I don't get why people feel the need to factionalise every damn thing on the planet. To these people, liking two similar products produced by different companies, or even acknowledging that the product you aren't supporting has its advantages, is utter madness.

For example, I'm an Apple user. I find the unified interface a lot easier to use than Windows, I like the aesthetics of the products and the Mac exclusive software is more applicable to me. But having said that, I fully recognise and understand that Windows has its own strengths, and I realise why some people prefer it. So it infuriates me when I run in to some narrow minded sack of syphilitic weasels who thinks they're so fucking cool for talking shit about Apple products, and equally as infuriated when some empty-headed hipster moron starts acting like an elitist fuckpuppet about their Apple fandom.

Just grow the fuck up and accept that someone might prefer a different brand to the one you like, or at least try being a bit civil about it. Unless they're saying Mega Bloks are better than LEGO, in which case feed them to the wolves. Honestly, fuck Mega Bloks.

 

[Zombie Sodomy]

I don't get anyone who has ever said, "I don't wan't to hear that." or "Never-mind I don't want to know" Stop getting involved in my conversations. I want to know everything. I don't care how gross or embarrassing it might be, I want to know and you're keeping me from finding out.

This other one is probably going to sound weird, but I just don't get kissing. I'm not asexual or germaphobic (auto-correct insists I mean hermaphroditic) or anything but I don't get the purpose or appeal. It just seems weird and like a waste of time to me.

 

[Zombie Sodomy]

Anal sex. Don't get it, never have, doubt I ever will. It seems unhygenic and just generally gross. I mean, why would you want to stick your dick in that anyway? It'd be like having sex with a dry tube smeared with crap. I don't understand how it could ever seem appealing. If you like it great, but I don't see why

As far as "dry tube smeared with crap" goes, both of those problems can be solved with lube and a few enema's.

 

[Candidus]

Fashion. Or any clothing 'issues' actually. I'm wearing pink pajama trousers right now that I don't like or dislike. I'm wearing a black button shirt-- one of about thirty identical shirts that I own-- that I don't like or dislike. I wear them because they negate the risk of my being arrested for indecent exposure out of doors, and I wear other things depending on the climate. Those are my sole motives for being attired at all.

I find the thought of dressing to make a statement pretty pathetic. The only statement one can make by getting dressed is the public affirmation that one owns some clothes and CAN dress at all (i'm prepared to take it on faith that most people I see dressed have done it themselves). Whoop de-do.

You think when I see you wearing a suit at work that I credit you anything based on how tidy it is? You could be the worst person in the world at your job, or the best. I don't know. Your rags do nothing to convince me either way, so you might as well be wearing something you actually like.

No, I don't get fashion or mandatory dress codes at all.

 

[JemothSkarii]

The main ones that I don't 'get' would cause riots on here far worse than those ones in Canada not too long ago. So time for the more 'tame' ones (some may admittedly be NSFW):

Big Bang Theory: Is it funny because nerds? I mean, I'm one for self deprecating humour, I use it all the time. But when I watch it or hear about it, people talk like it's the funniest shit since George Carlin. It's almost to the point of annoyance, but I do enjoy it when the whole 'Zimbabwe' thing gets involved, which leads me to my next one...

Reality TV: This will cover stuff such as Big Brother, King of the Nerds and The Biggest Loser. I think people enjoy this because they want to feel good about themselves. Now I'm not a perfect man, I've done little with my life in reflection so maybe I can sympathise. But watching people lose weight at unhealthy speeds? Watching super stereotyped nerds be nerds in an almost mocking fashion? It's personally moronic and just sad to watch someone laugh with glee over this.

(NSFW-ish) Vore: I just don't get it, is it tied in with masochism or sadism? With the pleasure of food (which I can understand, enjoying a meal, no matter how simple is always great). But arousal over eating/being eaten? It's something I generally see as a Furry (No, I don't like to fuck animals or anything, it ties win with a love of RP, Writing and some form of Escapism personally) and even I think it's freakin weird.

 

[dvd_72]

Y'know I don't *get* alcohol in general. You're seriously telling me to drink something that dehydrates you, makes you ill, makes you look and act like a complete twat and generally lowers your IQ for awhile? How about no?

I mean I don't even like the taste of any alcohols but that's beside the point.

Well a little bit of alcohol is fun. When you're tipsy laughter flows more easily, you feel a little bit happier and it generally makes a good time better.

Now, getting shit faced drunk is where I lose understanding. I get getting tipsy, but getting so drunk you act like a stupid dip shit the whole night, force the more sober of your friends to look out for you and then don't have the decency to remember? Yea, fuck doing that.

 

[Sigmund Av Volsung]

The more I think about it, the bigger a puzzle it seems to me - why is it in our generation of enlightened, strong, independent women are Twilight, 50 Shades, and Beautiful Creatures, stories that have female protagonists written by actual women who give them no respect or dignity, becoming not just successful but cultural phenomenons?

Because they're written by old, middle class women? Yes, I'm being a bit stereotypical, but the only way that I can rationalize the perversity of 50 shades as a manifestation of someone's imagination is either through boredom, or sexual repression, with Twilight, well, I presume that its self-insert fiction and beautiful creatures was written by a woman that was "rebelling" against her family's traditions by not marrying someone.

Actually, E.L. of 50 Shades is the only "old" woman at 50 years old - the others seem about in their 30's. Hell, one of the Beautiful Creatures authors worked for EA and Activision.

http://beautifulcreaturesauthors.com/about-us/bios/

Yes, I get the self-insertion and living fantasies and all and I myself hypothesize that the main appeal of these books is having boys pay attention to you under any circumstance, but it's those circumstances that bother me - the abstinence moralizing, the terrible writing (at least from what I've heard - I read the intro for 50 Shades and was appalled), the self sabotage - fine, have the witches be forced into light or dark, but why is it the MEN get a choice and women don't? It makes no sense and could've avoided a really bizarre dynamic by just changing one little thing.

Like a lot of other things I don't get, I keep thinking I've missed something, like there's a well-hidden point or message that shows that the author is making some sort of brilliant satire or important statement on sexism but no one has ever pointed it out and I'm forced to conclude that both the authors and the fans just don't care. Fine, that's their choice, but is it because they legitimately like it or is it the hype machine and the lack of material available that makes them overlook the troubling things and only make them think they want it?

Not even just that, but other things like cosmetic surgery, the prevalent laxity on rape in politics and the honest-to-God comeback of the corset makes me think restricted gender roles and stereotyping are still heavily ingrained in our society and it's making for some disturbing trends that women, despite living in a supposed "enlightened" age, either can't break free from or won't.

It could also be because they were forced to conform into gender roles as children; this is them "passing off the knowledge".

 

[Mr.Squishy]

Organized religion
Strip clubs
The popularity of Monthy Python
Same for Dr. Who
Obsessing over celebrities/the royal family
Watching sports
Smoking
Reality TV
America's gun fetish
WoW subscribers
People who like the cold
Fashion
Harry Potter
Pokemon
Klingons Proud warrior race guys with bizarre moral codes
Seth McFarlane
Red Dwarf
Deontology
Big Bang Theory hate
As someone mentioned before, status symbols, particularly expensive ones
Zombie fanaticism
Point and click games
The obsessive love for pixelated graphics

 

[Russian_Assassin]

I don't understand how to control my willpower and to set targets for myself. It seems I have a solution for every problem that I have, yet my mind won't move on to accomplishing anything. It is like I am stuck in a mental limbo or something. I just keep putting one imaginary foot in front of the other, but I don't ever seem to get anywhere. It is like I am subconsciously waiting for something to happen. A miracle or something like that.

 

[TriGGeR_HaPPy]

People who don't understand that other people are allowed to like things they don't, and vice versa.

Seriously, take any movie, music, tv show, video game, tabletop game, sport, franchise, material or immaterial thing which ultimately isn't hurting anyone. For this, there'll be people who like it and truly don't understand how people could dislike it, and there'll be people who dislike it and truly don't understand how people could like it.

I just... I really don't understand these people. There are many things in this world I don't "get", but these people top the list. The people who honestly can't understand how someone could hold an opinion on this thing, whatever it is, which doesn't match their own.

It boggles my mind.

People have differing opinions. It happens, it's okay. It's not the end of the world. ;>_>

 

[Scrubiii]

The appeal of being drunk - "I had such a good time last night! I don't remember any of it but I know I acted like an utter twat for all of it". Umm... good for you I guess.

Really heavy dubstep - I like melodic dubstep, where the music is what you're listening to, and the dubstep effects complement it in the background. Stuff like Blackmill or Lindsey Stirling. It's interesting and gives the music a different feel than it would have without it. What I really don't understand is the fact that the most popular kind of dubstep is the Skrillex kind. Listening to it genuinely gives me a headache. It's like someone went to the folder of "sounds that make people flinch" and mashed them all together into a cacophony of auditory pain.

Patriotism - This is the biggest one for me, because the two above are simply matters of opinion. Patriotism is nothing more than a means that people in positions of power use to get people without power to fight their wars for them.

I find the way people from the US are expected to "love their country" genuinely disturbing. I don't understand how anyone can state that their country is "the greatest country in the world" simply because they were born there, or because they were told it in school.

I like my country (Britain), it's certainly better than a lot of them, but at the same time, there are a lot of places I would rather live. Scandinavian countries, for example, seem to top every list from average income to average happiness, and pretty much every country in the world is superior to Britain in terms of natural beauty.

I'm pretty sure there's a quote from Yahtzee, although I can't seem to find it, that goes along the lines of "I don't see how anyone can be in a position to declare their country the best until they have lived in them all."

 

[Reeve]

What I don't get? Money, women, cars, zombies, giant robots on two legs, and theoretical mathematics just to name a few.

Concepts in theoretical mathematics often get applied in theoretical phsyics

 

[Living Contradiction]

Agreed on the stripclubs.
Also furries.

It's like... either fuck animals or fuck humans. Don't mix dat shit together, yo.

that last one i agree, fuck whatever you want but please dont fuck reality

But I like M. Night Shyamalan...well, sometimes.

while I do love and get sport...curling ie ice sweeping

Think shuffleboard...the jumbo version, on a field of ice with none of those fancy little rods. Yes, some people do have too much time on their hands.

As far as what I cannot comprehend: A ditto to the whole strip club experience (you want me to pay you to dance naked in front of me while enduring incredibly loud music and drinking overpriced alcohol? Pass, thank you, and what is wrong with you?), necrophilia (you want an unresponsive partner? Fine. Please pick a breathing one and stop making my skin creep), and Keynsian economics (I...just...fuck off...no).

 

[Vidiot]

The more I think about it, the bigger a puzzle it seems to me - why is it in our generation of enlightened, strong, independent women are Twilight, 50 Shades, and Beautiful Creatures, stories that have female protagonists written by actual women who give them no respect or dignity, becoming not just successful but cultural phenomenons?

My best guess would be the authors' insecurities matching up with those of the target audience. Reading about a character who has the same self-esteem issues as you might make them more appealing, especially in cases where the character has very little in the way of other noticeable personality traits. This makes them a perfect-fitting template for the reader's emotional hang-ups about themselves, while providing a blank slate for said reader to project onto.

 

[xplosive59]

People who listen to music because they think "OMG teh Lead Singer is so HAWT ROLFMAO!!!!11!1!", music is not a visual medium and therefore the looks of the artist should not be taken into consideration at all. Too many bands now are popular because of their looks than their actual music eg One Direction, Black Veil Brides, Attack Attack and almost every modern metalcore band essentially.

 

[MrHide-Patten]

Well, I get strip clubs. Wander in, see a few ladies dancing, sit down with friends, ladies in scantily clad outfits come and talk to you...

You know, they're actually pretty smart. One of the girls I talked to was at Newcastle uni studying business and finance. That means she got better A-levels than I did. Another was a med student. There was also a girl studying performance art (Right?! Funny!). I was basically too stingy to pay for my own lapdance (£20?!) but one of the girls who'd convinced me to go paid for it. The girl she chose to do it was fairly damn robust, never before have I been a little concerned about being smothered to death whilst having my face crammed into a lady's chest and, to be quite frank, I was somewhat scared to move at all during the 'dance' on account of hearing stories about people who get thrown out with their teeth kicked in...

But in the end, as I saw a lone, crazy Chinese business man SURROUNDED by lapdancers, throwing £20s in the air whilst laughing his old arse off, I realised it was all about the experience of the thing. Alternatively, if you want to think about it a different way (you're wrong, you should think of it as an experience) then think of it as going into a restaurant with some fairly attractive waitresses and thinking, "Huh, I wonder what they'd look like naked. Man I wish I could be a little scared of asphyxiation with my head in her bosom."

There. Also, fun fact, we told the strippers that one of us was a virgin. We all motorboated and saw our girls naked but that guy, with whom the girl never fully stripped or smothered with her boobies.

Ahem. I don't get the hate with lawyers. I've never been screwed over by a lawyer, but I have been by a delivery guy. Or a plumber. Or a carpenter, especially a carpenter. Then again, said carpenter paid for a starbuck's coffee for me to make up for it. But people should complain about them more, dammit!

At first I was going to chime in on the strip clubs, but now that you mention it... Boobs are nice.

You feel as nervous and as awkward as fuck (I'm reminded of that scene from 'The Girl Next Door' where the main guy is given a private lapdance with his teach, and they're just like 'nothings weird, just tits in my face. Hows the weather').