To Marry an Escapist

[Fappy]

I have some bad news Fappy.

Smash is already mine.

Suck it.

Now now. Theres enough of me for both of you.

What I mean by that is I'm going to be leading an elaborate second life, using frequent business trips as an excuse to leave one of you alone every 2 weeks while I visit the other.

Hey, its fine as long as neither of you ever find out, right?

Plus, Smash might break your face out of jealously or some shit.

I'm ashamed to say this is almost accurate. Almost. I'm not a violent person but I'm a very jealous guy. I try to control it though.

Anyway, I couldn't choose someone from this site to marry, mainly because I hate you all and I would love nothing more than to see you guys suffer horrible deaths I love all of you equally.

Seriously though, I'd have to get some big polygamy going. Theres no way I can choose just one. Daystar, Fappy, Lyri (for kindly correcting me everytime I say something that's plain wrong about DOTA), Rastien, anyone with Geralt in their avatar, everyone from the Total Warriors user group and loads more I'm forgetting right now. .

We could all move to Utah and form a convent! It would be glorious!

 

[Fappy]

I saw him first! You always get this way about things I have that you don't! >:O

What the hell is this? New avatar?

Stop CHANGING things. How am I supposed to tell you people apart?

I'm sorry guppy. You are the last person I want to disappoint! HOW CAN I MAKE IT UP TO YOU!?

 

[BloatedGuppy]

I'm sorry guppy. You are the last person I want to disappoint! HOW CAN I MAKE IT UP TO YOU!?

Who is this?

Who are you?!

 

[Fappy]

I'm sorry guppy. You are the last person I want to disappoint! HOW CAN I MAKE IT UP TO YOU!?

Who is this?

Who are you?!

I am the vanguard of your destruction.

Sorry bro.

 

[DoPo]

Well, I think of only one Escapist I'd actually marry. That one [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/profiles/view]. Because they are just incredible like that. Yeah, I love you, I do. Keep being awesome!

 

[Fiz_The_Toaster]

Well I'm already internet engaged to Fiz_the_Toaster, but I haven't got much plans beyond Carbonyl planning the ceremony. Can't really decided which of my friends will do what, but I do know there will be gryphons. Anyone care to volunteer their services?

Dude, Carbonyl already has that planned out.

I was drunk (not really) at the time this was being talked about and even I remember what was going on. Jesus, it's like you don't care.

 

[Fappy]

Well, I think of only one Escapist I'd actually marry. That one [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/profiles/view]. Because they are just incredible like that. Yeah, I love you, I do. Keep being awesome!

I can't wait for someone to fall for this. I hope it's a lurker.

 

[DoPo]

Well, I think of only one Escapist I'd actually marry. That one [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/profiles/view]. Because they are just incredible like that. Yeah, I love you, I do. Keep being awesome!

I can't wait for someone to fall for this. I hope it's a lurker.

But I do love everybody. Except for that one person [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/profiles/view], that is. But everybody else, I adore.

 

[Fiz_The_Toaster]

Well I'm already internet engaged to Fiz_the_Toaster, but I haven't got much plans beyond Carbonyl planning the ceremony. Can't really decided which of my friends will do what, but I do know there will be gryphons. Anyone care to volunteer their services?

Dude, Carbonyl already has that planned out.

I was drunk (not really) at the time this was being talked about and even I remember what was going on. Jesus, it's like you don't care.

I just said Carbonyl was planning it. Did we have a best man?

Yeah, she said Daystar would.

BreakfastMan would be the DJ, Hazy992 would be the priest, and Carbonyl and Binnsyboy would work with the animals for music and shit.

GOD! I remember why I was drinking when this was going on.

 

[The Funslinger]

Hey, hey, guise...What would I be? !

I'd quite like to marry Binnsyboy, because he and I had a nice talk about music yesterday..He and I would spend our nights, sitting romantically in a field, gazing at the stars, listening to Red Hot Chili Peppers

*Ahem* No homo...

*No homo*

Uh... I think I'd have Elementary Dear Watson be my best man.

Scratch that, I know I would.

I suppose Daystar would be the best person to conduct the ceremony.

 

[Fappy]

-Snip-

Ah yes, Daystar maybe the "First Brovenger", but I am clearly the "Best".

Suck it Daystar!

 

[Daystar Clarion]

-Snip-

Ah yes, Daystar maybe the "First Brovenger", but I am clearly the "Best".

Suck it Daystar!

Shows what you know.

The woman who he is marrying... is me!

 

[Fappy]

-Snip-

Ah yes, Daystar maybe the "First Brovenger", but I am clearly the "Best".

Suck it Daystar!

Shows what you know.

The woman who he is marrying... is me!

*Looks at Caramel's user profile*

Well shit, when did you get all that work done!? You don't even look Asian anymore! >

 

[Daystar Clarion]

-Snip-

Ah yes, Daystar maybe the "First Brovenger", but I am clearly the "Best".

Suck it Daystar!

Shows what you know.

The woman who he is marrying... is me!

*Looks at Caramel's user profile*

Well shit, when did you get all that work done!? You don't even look Asian anymore! >

I'm a cunning master of disguise.

I'm your mother too.

 

[Fappy]

-Snip-

Ah yes, Daystar maybe the "First Brovenger", but I am clearly the "Best".

Suck it Daystar!

Shows what you know.

The woman who he is marrying... is me!

*Looks at Caramel's user profile*

Well shit, when did you get all that work done!? You don't even look Asian anymore! >

I'm a cunning master of disguise.

I'm your mother too.

That makes all of your comments about doing things to my mom rather... confusing.

 

[Daystar Clarion]

-Snip-

Ah yes, Daystar maybe the "First Brovenger", but I am clearly the "Best".

Suck it Daystar!

Shows what you know.

The woman who he is marrying... is me!

*Looks at Caramel's user profile*

Well shit, when did you get all that work done!? You don't even look Asian anymore! >

I'm a cunning master of disguise.

I'm your mother too.

That makes all of your comments about doing things to my mom rather... confusing.

Yes.

Yes it does.

You're welcome for the mental image.

 

[Casual Shinji]

I'd marry any one of you with a Berserk avatar.

 

[Bleidd Whitefalcon]

Well, I think of only one Escapist I'd actually marry. That one [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/profiles/view]. Because they are just incredible like that. Yeah, I love you, I do. Keep being awesome!

I can't wait for someone to fall for this. I hope it's a lurker.

I did fall for it lol. And yes, I'm a lurker. Hope fulfilled, Fappy!

 

[NinjaDeathSlap]

I'll never be the groom to an Escapist wedding. I'm already married to my duty as the psychopathic father of the bride, who's gone a whole year without shanking anyone in order to be let out of prison in time for my daughter's wedding.

[Ray Winston voice]So all you Escapist grooms better watch aaat, because if you ever make my Princess shed so much as one tear, I'll stuff your balls so far daaan your throat that they can 'ave a game of Charades with your Adams Apple! That clear you shlaaag?[/Ray Winston voice]

 

[PsychicTaco115]

I think I'd be too busy helping other people out with their own wedding

Plus, being single flat out rules! There's....

FINE, I'LL CHOOSE SOMEONE!

Since I'm pretty anti-romantic relations, I will consider this an evolution of platonic friendship!

For my groom, I shall choose two, cos' fuck the system.
[user]PsychicTaco115[/user] and [user]Secret World Leader (shhh)[/user] cos if you gotta marry someone might as well be to great guys with powerful connections.

Or I'll be chosen...