to those women out there

[Realitycrash]

One day I'm gonna write a self-help book to all the guys on the Escapist that feels the need to ask for advice on how to approach women.
It's gonna consist of one sentence.
"Confidence is sexy, being full of yourself is not".

 

[SecretSmoke]

[quote="EeveeElectro" Just talk to us, that's all we want![/quote]

Yeah, see that? xD Just be confident bro! If you're not confident, make it up! Think of yourself like an athlete, you're not just gonna' be able to throw a perfect 3 point shot without a lot of practice and failure. Just remember, you've got nothing to lose, and everything to gain! (and, if you fake confidence long enough, eventually you'll find something to be confident about.) Also, work out! It's mainly for you, not for them. Trust me on this one, if you're in good shape *everything* feels better.

*Edit* Oh lawd I butchered that quote. >.>

*edit edit* Well okay not *FAKE* it but like... just be confident lol. Surely you've got *something* others don't. I mean working out will help a lot. When you look in the mirror and see abs where a belly once was, you'll be confident.

 

[Rawne1980]

It's nothing to do with how a woman percieves a bloke to be more how he makes her feel.

You can be a self pitying wreck and still make a woman feel good and happy if you stop worrying about yourself long enough to think about her.

I can't answer for woman (mainly because i'm a bloke and have no understanding at all of the female train of thought .... nor would I want to .... woman are complex and i'm a simple man) but I have, through the years, dated enough of them to know they don't specifically go for 1 single type.

They all look for different things but for a few women it simply boils down to "will this man make me happy" (thats my wifes input, I just asked her ... even if she just said "but I married you because I felt pity" .... I used to like her).

A bloke thats happy is more likely to be able to make someone else feel happy, a bloke thats a misserable git isn't.

My advice?

You really want it?

Didn't think so but i'll give it anyway..

Cheer up, it may not be that simple but try improving your life. Skip when you go the shops, run through fields of corn on a summers day while listening to Sting and think "well it could be worse, I could be as boring as this wailing pillock" (sorry Sting fans, just find his music incredibly depressing .... aswell as for stalkers .... i'll be watching you indeed Sting ya nutter).

 

[damselgaming]

Beause they are (in the majority) good to have in the bedroom department.

... Also hot.

 

[DarkRyter]

I like my romantic partners like I like everything else.

Made of Chocolate.

 

[Sizzle Montyjing]

Because women don't know whats good for them!
*crys deeply*
Curse you pale face, lazy body and mouth that won't shut up!

You've foiled my attempts at happiness AGAIN!

 

[Woodsey]

Its funny because I think you're actually not joking.

 

[Cephei Mordred]

As for confidence and bravado being attained, here's the problem.

If I am exuding those things, it's because I'm method acting the role of a hyperconfident anime antihero or something. In other words, I'm doing it for my own benefit, and the last thing I want is some girl who suddenly wants me because I'm so awesome.

Imagine if the ugly duckling who was scorned by men becomes a supermodel, then they all want her, would she not be right to feel ill used?

 

[Rienimportant]

I'm willing to bet...wait for it...they like confident guys...because they're confident.

 

[MassiveGeek]

To those guys out there...
why do you usually like the prettier girls?
or the ones who are more willing to come up and chat to you?...
or the pleasant girls?...
I know it's not like this for all guys but why is it for most?

Seriously, men and women pick the traits of their desired sexual partners on evolutionary and societal pressures that have existed since time immemorial: healthy appearance, fecund appearance and conformity to cultural norms. Some things are also plainly about practicality, as with confidence; a guy who's willing to go up to girls and ask them out is obviously going to have greater success with girls than a guy who sits at the back of the room starting enviously at him. No-one likes the fear of rejection and thus those who ask are likelier to get simply because of the lack of competition.

What BGH122 said.

I do understand that one would question the second thing with the recklessness, but I suppose that some have issues seeing the line between adventurous and moronic people sometimes. However, why would one NOT like confidence? I personally think it's a very attractive trait, partly because it shows they can care for themselves, they're not helpless and won't be overly clingy. For the athletic, it shows they care for their bodies in part and that they're active physically. Also people find muscle attractive, I don't really find it that attractive but meh.

 

[Sexual Harassment Panda]

To those women out there...
why do you usually like the more confident guys?
or the reckless ones who talk out of place thinking there cool?...
or the athletic guys?...
I know it's not like this for all girls but why is it for most?
so if there is any women on the escapist ..Why?

The antithesis being a painfully shy and boring overweight fellow?

 

[Bugerion]

This looks like a thinly veiled 'loads of gurlz go 4 jerkz!!11!' thread, which are stupid.

What's so sexy about a guy with no confidence or backbone? My ex was a spineless twat and just did whatever his mummy told him, even if it put a strain on our relationship. If we had made plans, he'd do whatever his mummy told him to do instead and happily handed over my number so she could ring me and scream down the phone to me. We don't want someone as pathetic as that as a boyfriend, being miserable and depressing is so un-sexy.

Uh...then why did you date him in the first place?

It's like the woman I know who dated a guy and then when they broke up, she only had horrible things to say about him. I asked her why she dated him in the first place, and she said 'Well, I hated him so much that he was always on my mind. So I asked him out.'

Answer to this thread: Bitches be crazy. Go gay today!

She had horrible things to say about him because she used a defense mechanism not because she hated him she just made that part up I know I learned that from psychology.

I won't say anything on topic because everyone explained it I myself can talk to girls but asking them out is another thing,and for my body well I have good genes so I am buffed without doing anything although I started playing drums of lately just to keep my weigth from going above 80 KG

 

[Esotera]

Evolutionary 'babble' is perfectly valid. Evolution drives all organisms without exception. I've never heard a 'female brain' comment though, those sound pretty hilarious.

The evolutionary babble is exactly that, babble.

Read up on epigenetics and learn that we're not nearly as static as we sometimes believe we are.
Read up on human history and learn that what's considered attractive has greatly varied and changed in the course of history.

Evolution isn't nearly so simple as to be able to be explained in a single forum post. It's not a finished theory. We're still learning new things every day about how exactly it works and what the subtleties are.

The evolutionary theory you hear in popular media is several years outdated and highly misinterpreted and because of that it's babble.

How has the theory of evolution has notably changed in the last few decades at all? Evolution doesn't require a single forum post to be explained, just one sentence:

"Evolution is the process of change in a biological population caused by only well-adapted organisms in a species surviving and reproducing, thus passing on their favourable characteristics to their offspring."

This is exactly the same theory postulated by Darwin over 150 years ago. All that has changed is that we now know how information is inherited, and sometimes mess up our interpretation of the data. The results of evolution couldn't be explained in a single post, or probably an entire lifetime, but the process definitely can.

The idea of science having a finished theory is a bit anathema, but evolution is one of the few things that should be considered a law of biology, simply because there is such overwhelming evidence, and there's been plenty of time to test it adequately.

OP: Humour is actually the most important ingredient, I've been told & read, but the others you've listed probably help. Athletic has an obvious evolutionary explanation, but can't say I know enough about the others to be of any help.

 

[Rockchimp69]

*Insert misogynistic explanation involving insecure and immature spoiled females here*

*Insert evolutionary babble involving strong offspring and good genes here*

*Insert pop-psychology talk involving the 'female brain' here*

That should about cover 95% of the replies coming after this. You can now safely skip this thread. And no, no thanks is required for all the time I just saved you.

Evolutionary babble?

Babble?

 

[Dogstile]

Depends, who are you going to go to. The guy who actually asks you out or the guy who can't look at you.

 

[Rockchimp69]

*Insert misogynistic explanation involving insecure and immature spoiled females here*

*Insert evolutionary babble involving strong offspring and good genes here*

*Insert pop-psychology talk involving the 'female brain' here*

That should about cover 95% of the replies coming after this. You can now safely skip this thread. And no, no thanks is required for all the time I just saved you.

Evolutionary babble?

Babble?

Yeah. Most of it is mindless conjecture. Taking a hypothesis and convincing yourself that it's a valid theory without any sort of hard numbers.

Well obviously a lot of people don't bother to actually think about it's validity themselves but I don't think that automatically makes what they're saying babble. It just means they're offering theories about the OP's question based on their understanding of evolution.