Transgender Q & A

[Not Matt]

first of all. i admire you, not many people have the guts to come out with something like that and there are even fewer with the bravery to go "any questions?" afterwards. you deserve a big cake. or sugary treat of your choice.

1. how young were you when you figured out you were not like other boys or girls?
2. in a relationship. which gender do you prefer? or are you bisexual?
3. me and a friend have this theory that in about 50 to 100 years, being transgender will be as average as being a male or female. do you see that happening?
4. any plans involving your sexuality for the future?[footnote]that sounded like an extremely posh perv hitting on someone[/footnote] family for example?
5. what do your parents think about it?
6. can you give a little sumary of your relationships (i am sorry for asking so much about your lovelife)
7. i have no idea how to say this but.....uhmmmm, was it hard to learn, uhmm. how to use your ehhhh "new tools"?

EDIT (sorry about that, these came to my mind a little later):
8. if you are in a relationship. do your significant other know and how did he/she react when you told him/her?

9: if you have siblings, hat do the think?

10: have you noticed any personalty changes after the operation? anything really from liking a food you didn't like to having completely new interests.

11: is it weird looking back? to spending childhood as a boy and adulthood as a women is still sort of surreal to me.

 

[Jenvas1306]

Dude, where was this thread a few days ago? I could have saved, well, annoying an annoyed writer with my curiosity! I've really only got one question topic at the moment, assuming any of you are in a position to answer currently;

Does the surgically constructed vagina feel pleasure? Is it capable of orgasm? Multiple?

Just as a hint, for someone with male anatomy, achiving an anal orgasm is easier, also due to the prostate being very sensitive.

Woah. My mind is blown, seeing as I didn't even really consider anal capable of acheving a full blown orgasm - just pleasure. Thats... worth knowing.

Well, the more you know. Transwomen can have vaginal oragsms and clitoral orgasms, just like non-transwomen, but a well done surgery is naturally a must for that. People often think of a 'constructed' vulva and vagina as way less than it actually is.

sadly, for transmen it is more difficult.

 

[Cry Wolf]

Dude, where was this thread a few days ago? I could have saved, well, annoying an annoyed writer with my curiosity! I've really only got one question topic at the moment, assuming any of you are in a position to answer currently;

Does the surgically constructed vagina feel pleasure? Is it capable of orgasm? Multiple?

Just as a hint, for someone with male anatomy, achiving an anal orgasm is easier, also due to the prostate being very sensitive.

Woah. My mind is blown, seeing as I didn't even really consider anal capable of acheving a full blown orgasm - just pleasure. Thats... worth knowing.

Well, the more you know. Transwomen can have vaginal oragsms and clitoral orgasms, just like non-transwomen, but a well done surgery is naturally a must for that. People often think of a 'constructed' vulva and vagina as way less than it actually is.

sadly, for transmen it is more difficult.

Spoiler

The quality of the surgery seems pretty damned amazing, all in all. Also, I'm so damned tempted to make a 'dick smith' joke right now. Fuck I'm immature. >.>

 

[Jenvas1306]

first of all. i admire you, not many people have the guts to come out with something like that and there are even fewer with the bravery to go "any questions?" afterwards. you deserve a big cake. or sugary treat of your choice.

1. how young were you when you figured out you were not like other boys or girls?
2. in a relationship. which gender do you prefer? or are you bisexual?
3. me and a friend have this theory that in about 50 to 100 years, being transgender will be as average as being a male or female. do you see that happening?
4. any plans involving your sexuality for the future?[footnote]that sounded like an extremely posh perv hitting on someone[/footnote] family for example?
5. what do your parents think about it?
6. can you give a little sumary of your relationships (i am sorry for asking so much about your lovelife)
7. i have no idea how to say this but.....uhmmmm, was it hard to learn, uhmm. how to use your ehhhh "new tools"?

1. I have allways felt different, but when I go to puberty it got more and more clear, so its a bit hard to say exactly, but 12 can be taken as my answer.
2. I am straight, thats for certain. I dated women in the past, but real romantic feelings, thats something I ever only had with men.
3. I hope that the treatment and society has evolved so far that transsexuality is fully cureable (hormones, fertility, tube grown organs, such stuff) and if you are male or female doesnt matter as much as it does today.
4. what plans? having sex with my bf? that sure. right now I am not sure if I will adopt or not, ask me in 10years.
5. my parents see that I am happy. for my mother its evident that she has a daughter now and my father atleast accepts it.
6. eh... I had dates in the past, with women i liked, but nothing came of that. I had crushes on guys, but was too afraid to go for it. Now I have my first bf and I am planning on keeping him.
7. You would think it needs some getting used too, but my mind allways had those plans and it was kinda just natural for me after a while, as healing takes a bit and in that time you get used to it anyways, as you need to take care and stuff. Using the toilett is weird at first though...

 

[squeekenator]

first of all. i admire you, not many people have the guts to come out with something like that and there are even fewer with the bravery to go "any questions?" afterwards. you deserve a big cake. or sugary treat of your choice.

1. how young were you when you figured out you were not like other boys or girls?
2. in a relationship. which gender do you prefer? or are you bisexual?
3. me and a friend have this theory that in about 50 to 100 years, being transgender will be as average as being a male or female. do you see that happening?
4. any plans involving your sexuality for the future? family for example?
5. what do your parents think about it?
6. can you give a little sumary of your relationships (i am sorry for asking so much about your lovelife)
7. i have no idea how to say this but.....uhmmmm, was it hard to learn, uhmm. how to use your ehhhh "new tools"?

1. Ha, interesting choice of words there. I was almost 18 when I finally figured it out, but there were clear signs going back as far as 8-9 or so. There may well have been other signs from earlier than that, but my memory of my younger years isn't very good.
2. I'm MtF, and into women.
3. Highly doubt it. Well, actually, that depends on exactly what you mean. If you're talking about transgender in general, including people who don't conform to societal gender roles, then you may be right. If you're specifically talking transsexual, then no. You don't choose the trans life, the trans life chooses you, and it only chooses a very small number of people. If some random dude decided that he wanted to become a chick because fuck yeah boobs (or for some seemingly legitimate reason) he would very quickly come to regret that decision.
4. Gosh, the 'family for example' bit could be read the wrong way. Assuming you mean making a family, NOPE. Can't stand kids, but more importantly I like my freedom and don't want to be shackled to a bunch of offspring for 20+ years, paying all kinds of money and spending all my spare time on them and never having sex again. As for general sexuality plans, well, I plan on having sex at some point once I have a vagina. I wouldn't be at all surprised if it never ended up happening, but it'd be nice. Until then, though, absolutely not happening, the very thought squicks me out like crazy.
5. My dad is not quite as accepting as he knows he should be; he is generally a progressive and accepting person but he gets weirded out by it and doesn't fully understand. My mother and stepmother are both totally fine. My mother's actually quite enthusiastic about the whole thing; she always wanted a daughter.
6. One brief and disastrous attempt in high school. Haven't tried again since.

 

[Cry Wolf]

I don't like the unwanted attention(read: Molotov Cocktails) that I'd get around my area.

Holy fuck, maybe I should jump to another forum again. I've been using this image ay too much recentlly.

Such is the unfortunate consequence of being a transgirl in a hick town in the middle of nowhere, my friend. It's not pretty. Hell, it's one of the reasons I've trained in firearm use and operation. To those who think I'm wrong about that: when people want you dead and are willing to dirty their hands by spilling your guts on the floor, I think that responding in kind is necessary, if unfortunate.

Sigh. I shouldn't be so suprised, considering I've been attacked in the middle of a city for being suspected of being homosexual, but I like believing the world is a much more accepting place than it really is. >.>

 

[Jenvas1306]

hey, I have a question too.
Trans groups are rare here, so I rarely have to do with other transsexuals or even transgender in person. The few times that happened, didnt leave a too positive impression. (most here are older than me and maybe they just act the stereotypical way of acting a bit mean towards a girl who is prettier?)

So the question is, how are your experiances with others?

 

[SonOfVoorhees]

Im a straight male. An i want to know why is it that i cant state on one hand i accept and am happy that a person can change gender, make them selves happy and content and live life the way they want to. But on the other hand cant say that i would love you as friends, but still see you as the gender you were? Now i will admit the only trans woman i saw did look like a man in a dress. An also, like all attractions, just because im a straight male, doesnt mean im attracted to every straight female that walks down the road...and this can also be the case for a trangen woman i meet. We all have preference based on age, weight, sexual preferences and race. I wouldnt think someones a racist if they didnt want to date a black people, or ageist if they didnt want to date someone 30 years older than they are. An you wouldnt be called homophobic if you didnt date a gay person. Now i know its similiar but not the same to those comparisons. But, like many people, i havnt interacted with many transwoman at all and thats probably a situation that will get better when transpeople gain more acceptance and people can interact with them more on a day to day level, which creates better understanding. Also i am open to the fact that one day i will meet a woman who knocks me head over heels, by her looks and personality etc and the knowledge that she was once a man will change to "this woman is amazing, i need her in my life....i cant imagine a future without her in it." Im sure there are many gay people reading this that grew up thinking "im not gay" and then one day they just meet someone thats same sex and it just blows them away how attracted they are to this person? A life changing situation.

So until that time why is it deemed a major insult for a person to say they would not date a transgen person due to the fact they used to be a man/woman when there its just there personal opinion, when there is no malice or hate behind it? An if you were turned down by a straight man/woman due to telling them you were transgender, do you consider them horrible people for that, would you judge them harshly on it? Would this stop you having a friendship with them if they offered this in return?

Thanks for making this thread, its very informative even though half the questions seem to be about sex. ;-)

 

[Rawne1980]

Such is the unfortunate consequence of being a transgirl in a hick town in the middle of nowhere, my friend. It's not pretty. Hell, it's one of the reasons I've trained in firearm use and operation. To those who think I'm wrong about that: when people want you dead and are willing to dirty their hands by spilling your guts on the floor, I think that responding in kind is necessary, if unfortunate.

Sorry for quoting you again, i'm not thread stalking you ... honest.

Just have to ask, is shit really that bad?

I know some people react violently to some things but I didn't think it was as bad as people openly wanting to kill you.

I admit I like to think I have a small amount of knowledge on a few subjects but bullying and the like I know nothing about. It baffles me that people want to go that far with things in order to make someones life a living hell.

I'll tell you why it baffles me (pull up a seat, I tend to ramble)....

I used to be quite a violent person, from my childhood up until I was around 27-28. More or less raised by by granparents 1920's style (the belt buckle was especially fun) and then hanging out with the wrong crowd and joining an overly aggressive part of the British Army.

I fought ..... a lot.

But I wanted to actually fight not "dominate" (if that makes sense). I only went at it with people who wanted to or I knew could fight.

I've just never been able to get my head around the whole bullying thing and the mindset behind it.

Sorry to go off topic a bit I just never realised things were that bad. Guess I don't know as much as I thought I did.

 

[SonOfVoorhees]

Ok and this last question may be stupid, but i guess there is a more emotional issue behind the idea behind it. Ok so your a woman that likes men, but inside you feel your the wrong gender. So you have the operation to become a trans man. But also as you still like men you would be a gay trans man. Would that be correct? So some would say, will if your attracted to men, why not just stay as a woman? Im sure you would agree that it would be easier to find a partner as a woman than as a gay trans man. Now the question is, putting your self in that situation. Is that feeling to change gender, and be who you feel you should be that strong knowing the trouble you face? Is it a difficult choice to make? Or an easy choice but difficult consequences to face after?

I really cant imagine how difficult it must be to make these choices, knowing you will be a happier person for it but also knowing how society is. An maybe considering my last comment, i may be part of that society to a small degree. But isnt that why this thread exists, to educate, to interact and make others more understanding?

 

[an annoyed writer]

Im a straight male. An i want to know why is it that i cant state on one hand i accept and am happy that a person can change gender, make them selves happy and content and live life the way they want to. But on the other hand cant say that i would love you as friends, but still see you as the gender you were? Now i will admit the only trans woman i saw did look like a man in a dress. An also, like all attractions, just because im a straight male, doesnt mean im attracted to every straight female that walks down the road...and this can also be the case for a trangen woman i meet. We all have preference based on age, weight, sexual preferences and race. I wouldnt think someones a racist if they didnt want to date a black people, or ageist if they didnt want to date someone 30 years older than they are. An you wouldnt be called homophobic if you didnt date a gay person. Now i know its similiar but not the same to those comparisons. But, like many people, i havnt interacted with many transwoman at all and thats probably a situation that will get better when transpeople gain more acceptance and people can interact with them more on a day to day level, which creates better understanding. Also i am open to the fact that one day i will meet a woman who knocks me head over heels, by her looks and personality etc and the knowledge that she was once a man will change to "this woman is amazing, i need her in my life....i cant imagine a future without her in it." Im sure there are many gay people reading this that grew up thinking "im not gay" and then one day they just meet someone thats same sex and it just blows them away how attracted they are to this person? A life changing situation.

So until that time why is it deemed a major insult for a person to say they would not date a transgen person due to the fact they used to be a man/woman when there its just there personal opinion, when there is no malice or hate behind it? An if you were turned down by a straight man/woman due to telling them you were transgender, do you consider them horrible people for that, would you judge them harshly on it? Would this stop you having a friendship with them if they offered this in return?

Thanks for making this thread, its very informative even though half the questions seem to be about sex. ;-)

Honestly most of us don't mind that you wouldn't want to date us in our current state, and we're fine with that: It's telling us that you still see us as our birth gender that really lights the fuse. It's an insult that is so great and powerful that it can completely destroy the more fragile ones' psyches and lives. It's like telling a radical Muslim that Allah is nonexistent: to them you might as well have signed your death warrant. As long as the break-up doesn't result in that we're normally cool with the former partner's sexual preference.

 

[squeekenator]

I know some people react violently to some things but I didn't think it was as bad as people openly wanting to kill you.

People have been murdered for being trans, yes. Often it involves sex - straight man discovers that the woman he slept with was trans and decides that he has to kill her, or some variation thereupon. Then there are totally random attacks, the one that I heard most about was CeCe McDonald, who was assaulted with a bottle by some random stranger yelling homophobic slurs at her. So yeah, basicall, some people suck.

 

[squeekenator]

Ok and this last question may be stupid, but i guess there is a more emotional issue behind the idea behind it. Ok so your a woman that likes men, but inside you feel your the wrong gender. So you have the operation to become a trans man. But also as you still like men you would be a gay trans man. Would that be correct? So some would say, will if your attracted to men, why not just stay as a woman? Im sure you would agree that it would be easier to find a partner as a woman than as a gay trans man. Now the question is, putting your self in that situation. Is that feeling to change gender, and be who you feel you should be that strong knowing the trouble you face? Is it a difficult choice to make? Or an easy choice but difficult consequences to face after?

I really cant imagine how difficult it must be to make these choices, knowing you will be a happier person for it but also knowing how society is. An maybe considering my last comment, i may be part of that society to a small degree. But isnt that why this thread exists, to educate, to interact and make others more understanding?

In that case, remaining a woman would indeed make it easier to date, but gender dysphoria is orders of magnitude worse than not having a boyfriend. Refusing to transition because it makes dating harder is just... no freaking way. Besides, relationships would also be a lot less fulfilling. Personally, and I believe I speak for quite a number of trans people, there is no effing way I would have sex pre-transition. And it's not just sex, any kind of physical intimacy becomes a horrible reminder of what my body looks and feels like. Even non-physical things, like someone looking at me lovingly. I know what she would be seeing, she would be looking at a man, loving him because he's a man and she likes men, and that idea is absolutely unbearable. I would gain an awful lot of advantages by remaining a man, but none of them could possibly be worth it.

EDIT: Whoops, double post. Sorry.

 

[Rawne1980]

I know some people react violently to some things but I didn't think it was as bad as people openly wanting to kill you.

People have been murdered for being trans, yes. Often it involves sex - straight man discovers that the woman he slept with was trans and decides that he has to kill her, or some variation thereupon. Then there are totally random attacks, the one that I heard most about was CeCe McDonald, who was assaulted with a bottle by some random stranger yelling homophobic slurs at her. So yeah, basicall, some people suck.

See it's crap like that I just don't get.

Only reason I mentioned my "bad side" is that some people tend to think with how I was raised and the amount of testosterone I wallow in that i'll be like that to certain groups of individuals.

But i've never understood it.

To be fair it pisses me off a little bit that people can be like that for something that, in all honesty, has fuck all to do with them.

I don't take much seriously (as is evident by my post history) but some things I find hard to see a light side to.

However....

Just to lighten the mood a little and randomly change the subject ... One of our Hamsters managed to get out of it's cage last night. We spent 2 hours this morning looking for her and eventually found her asleep in the Hamster food bag.

Hamsters are greedy bastards.

 

[an annoyed writer]

Such is the unfortunate consequence of being a transgirl in a hick town in the middle of nowhere, my friend. It's not pretty. Hell, it's one of the reasons I've trained in firearm use and operation. To those who think I'm wrong about that: when people want you dead and are willing to dirty their hands by spilling your guts on the floor, I think that responding in kind is necessary, if unfortunate.

Sorry for quoting you again, i'm not thread stalking you ... honest.

Just have to ask, is shit really that bad?

I know some people react violently to some things but I didn't think it was as bad as people openly wanting to kill you.

I admit I like to think I have a small amount of knowledge on a few subjects but bullying and the like I know nothing about. It baffles me that people want to go that far with things in order to make someones life a living hell.

I'll tell you why it baffles me (pull up a seat, I tend to ramble)....

I used to be quite a violent person, from my childhood up until I was around 27-28. More or less raised by by granparents 1920's style (the belt buckle was especially fun) and then hanging out with the wrong crowd and joining an overly aggressive part of the British Army.

I fought ..... a lot.

But I wanted to actually fight not "dominate" (if that makes sense). I only went at it with people who wanted to or I knew could fight.

I've just never been able to get my head around the whole bullying thing and the mindset behind it.

Sorry to go off topic a bit I just never realised things were that bad. Guess I don't know as much as I thought I did.

The unfortunate part about it is that yes, many of us get killed for simply existing. The worst part is when the killer sees it as justified because of some asinine idea of vengeance: For example, look up the case of Agnes Torres Sulca: she was bound, tortured, immolated, had her throat slit, and was dumped in a shallow grave on the side of the road outside her hometown. She was 28 years old. The murderers'(there were four) motivations? That apparently she was a rapist, murderer, and pedophile, even though there was no evidence of the sort. None. Nada. Zip. FUCKING NOTHING, to support that ass-backwards claims. This happened last year, in Mexico. The US isn't much friendlier. It's cold, hard truth, and I hate it. I just want to live my life without worrying about this kind of thing happening to me.

 

[an annoyed writer]

Just to lighten the mood a little and randomly change the subject ... One of our Hamsters managed to get out of it's cage last night. We spent 2 hours this morning looking for her and eventually found her asleep in the Hamster food bag.

Hamsters are greedy bastards.

I had a bunch of Chinese dwarf hamsters once. They definitely were greedy, but at least they were cute about it. Trying to find them after they've gotten out of their cage is a real pain in the ass though.

 

[cahtush]

As a trans, can you have children? And if so, how does it work with the X/Y chromosomes?

 

[squeekenator]

As a trans, can you have children? And if so, how does it work with the X/Y chromosomes?

Yes, but only as your birth sex. And after a while on hormones even that can sometimes become impossible (for MtF at least, I haven't researched as much about trans men).
Nitpick: Trans is an adjective, not a noun.

 

[Rawne1980]

The unfortunate part about it is that yes, many of us get killed for simply existing. The worst part is when the killer sees it as justified because of some asinine idea of vengeance: For example, look up the case of Agnes Torres Sulca: she was bound, tortured, immolated, had her throat slit, and was dumped in a shallow grave on the side of the road outside her hometown. She was 28 years old. The murderers'(there were four) motivations? That apparently she was a rapist, murderer, and pedophile, even though there was no evidence of the sort. None. Nada. Zip. FUCKING NOTHING, to support that ass-backwards claims. This happened last year, in Mexico. The US isn't much friendlier. It's cold, hard truth, and I hate it. I just want to live my life without worrying about this kind of thing happening to me.

I honestly have no words.

That is all kinds of fucking wrong. I could imagine it many moons ago when people got beheaded for farting in the wrong direction but it isn't something you expect to hear about. I tend to avoid news though, they never report on nice things like giant pink bunnies.

It's also no way to live.

I had a bunch of Chinese dwarf hamsters once. They definitely were greedy, but at least they were cute about it. Trying to find them after they've gotten out of their cage is a real pain in the ass though.

The pet shop where we buy our animal food has a cage with about 10 Russian Dwarf Hamsters in. They sleep in a little pile in the corner it looks hilarious.

I was going to buy them one day and the lass working there said they can't really be kept together because they eat each other.....

Never looked at them the same.

Tiny cannibals.

I've seen Monty Python and the search for the holy grail. If that Rabbit can kill knights then i'm pretty sure i'd wake up one morning to see a tiny fur ball eating my face.

They won't get me ..... NEVER.

 

[SonOfVoorhees]

Honestly most of us don't mind that you wouldn't want to date us in our current state, and we're fine with that: It's telling us that you still see us as our birth gender that really lights the fuse. It's an insult that is so great and powerful that it can completely destroy the more fragile ones' psyches and lives. It's like telling a radical Muslim that Allah is nonexistent: to them you might as well have signed your death warrant. As long as the break-up doesn't result in that we're normally cool with the former partner's sexual preference.

Thanks for answering. I would never voice that as a reason as it would be cruel and insulting. I would politely say no. It would never stop me continuing a friendship....and you never know if opinions change down the line.