Trying to convince my friend he's not a paedophile

[ph0b0s123]

The only reason he thinks so is because that's what society screams that he is.

They do? I kinda thought it was the general consensus amount the common people=young children, not teens.

I am impressed with how mature the thread is being. Good for you internet. And I can sympathize with the guy's confusion.

How can you not be confused when you have the laws we do. Like if someone has any dodgy pictures or drawings of anyone who looks under the age of 18, in most Western Countries (no matter the age of consent) they are charged with being in possession of child pornography. And they are reported in the media to be the P word. Of course stuff like that is going to lead to confusion.

Don't get me wrong I don't support having dodgy pictures of young people on your computer, but at least call it what it is rather than straight away going for the P word. It diminishes the awful crimes that real pedophiles commit.

To the OP. No matter what the media says, easily not a pedophile. But that does not mean your friend get to act on it.....

 

[Gamblerjoe]

When you're attracted to someone you know you cant have, it stirs up certain emotions, and i doubt any human being hasnt felt it. The reasons for this are countless. even alpha males might have a situational reason for not being able to attract a certain person.

These emotions tend to taint all the other more logical things your brain is doing, and can reall mess up the way you think. Not getting the love interest turns into sour grapes. "Well, i probably would have gone to jail anyway." As that marinates in your brain, it turns into "Id have to tell my cellmates that im in for pedophilia." (even though this thread has allready pointed out the proper definition of pedophile.) then its "what kind of unethical pervert am i?"

Because of this, some important aspects dont get weighted properly. Most of them have been disgussed allready, but one that leaps out at me is this: As a 19 year old, do you really feel that much pressure to represent the moral and ethical high ground? If so, good for you (speaking indirectly of corse), but dont be so hard on yourself. Whether the magic age is 16 or 18, dont fall into the trap of thinking that you are on one side of the fense, and they are on the other. Just familiarise yourself with the laws, and factor that information into your decision.

 

[sievr]

The correct term is pederast. Problem solved.

 

[TheWwwizard]

This thread title is priceless, just tell your friend he's not a pedophile, he just likes dudes. Oh and he shouldn't become a priest.

 

[Casimir_Effect]

Well this seems fucking simple:
The country you are in, does it consider a sexual relationship between a 15 years old and a 19 year old to be paedophilia? If yes then I'm afraid the guy is a paedo.

From my point of view, a 19 y/o guy after a 15y/o one is just damn creepy. Find someone closer to your own age. The old rule of (YOUR AGE)/2 + 7 is always a good one (rounded up). Anything less is like targeting the vulnerable in the herd, ie. Predator (and not in the cool, thermal-vision/shoulder-cannon way).

 

[Turing]

Well this seems fucking simple:
The country you are in, does it consider a sexual relationship between a 15 years old and a 19 year old to be paedophilia? If yes then I'm afraid the guy is a paedo.

From my point of view, a 19 y/o guy after a 15y/o one is just damn creepy. Find someone closer to your own age. The old rule of (YOUR AGE)/2 + 7 is always a good one (rounded up). Anything less is like targeting the vulnerable in the herd, ie. Predator (and not in the cool, thermal-vision/shoulder-cannon way).

Is that rounded up or down, cause 19/2 + 7 is 16,5 and there's really not a big step from 16 to 15...

 

[AnonymouZero]

I think it's closer to "jailbait" rather than actual pedophilia.

Still jailbait though, so tell him to keep it in his pants.

so all those posts above yours were easily summed up by this.

damn jailbait... being all developed... and stuff.

OT: read quote above xD

 

[TheRealCJ]

fThe 15 year old may not even like guys though. That is something he should probably be more worried about, in my opinion.

That's just plain old "it's complicated'

 

[Technocrat]

Also point to the fact that according to a British survey in the 50's or 60's something like 70-90% (I'm recalling this factoid from a documentry watched many many years ago)quote]

Despite what the Daily Mail says, Brass Eye [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brass_Eye] does not count as a documentary!

 

[Casimir_Effect]

Well this seems fucking simple:
The country you are in, does it consider a sexual relationship between a 15 years old and a 19 year old to be paedophilia? If yes then I'm afraid the guy is a paedo.

From my point of view, a 19 y/o guy after a 15y/o one is just damn creepy. Find someone closer to your own age. The old rule of (YOUR AGE)/2 + 7 is always a good one (rounded up). Anything less is like targeting the vulnerable in the herd, ie. Predator (and not in the cool, thermal-vision/shoulder-cannon way).

Is that rounded up or down, cause 19/2 + 7 is 16,5 and there's really not a big step from 16 to 15...

Rounded up, so 17.

And to be honest, I personally implemented a rule whereby I wouldn't go for someone more than 1 year younger than I was until I reached 21. Then more years are allowed for until I hit 26 and the main rule kicks in properly, ie. minimum age of 20. To clarify, I have no issue with dating 18 or 19 year old girls, I just tend not to as people are incredibly fucking immature at that age and I'm not too keen on dating undergrads anyway.

 

[MelasZepheos_v1legacy]

He's an ephebophile, let's use the correct terminology here.

And yes, he is an ephebophile, because he has an attraction to someone aged 15

BUT (and this is important)

As long as he doesn't act on his attraction then he's not doing anything illegal. That's the key here. It's fine (to a point) to have this attraction, but it's when you actually do something about it that you get into dangerous territory.

Tell him not to worry, the 'jailbait wait' is a well known phenomenon. And he'll probably be over it in a few months anyway.

 

[ninetails593]

He can feel free to go after him, just no sex. A four year age difference isn't that much.

 

[Unesh52]

My girlfriend is 16 and I'm 18. I think that if the age difference is less than 5 years, then who cares? There may be some gray area in the early teens, but at 15 and 19? Really, what's so bad?

 

[fundayz]

My girlfriend is 16 and I'm 18. I think that if the age difference is less than 5 years, then who cares? There may be some gray area in the early teens, but at 15 and 19? Really, what's so bad?

Sex with a minor that is more than 2 years younger than you is considered a crime in many places. In other's its 3 or 4 years, in others it doesn't matter if it's consentual.

Either way, I have no sympathy for thew OP's friend. I don't care if he's gay or not, but if you're 19 you should not be messing with 15 year olds.

He's an adult and likes minors. Sounds like a pedophile to me, or at least a pedophile in the making; specially considering a lot of 15 year old boys look like they haven't even hit puberty.

 

[fundayz]

He's not. His attraction is...odd going by the current standards, but I don't see anything wrong with it.

Though considering my boyfriend is about 10 years older than I am (putting him at 26, if you can't do math), I'm a little biased. >.>

Odd but sort of related question (and I'm asking out of curiosity, not to insult): Why do so many homosexuals get in relationships with significantly older people?

 

[xXDeMoNiCXx]

As long as he doesn't actually do anything that involves that 15 year old, he's technically not a pedophile.