"Unavoidable" Global Bacon Shortage Expected Next Year

[MetalGenocide]

Spreading rumors.

If it's good enough to use by international bankers to destroy the economy of an entire country, it's good enough for some bacon price jump stimulation!

Also, FUCK BACON! I don't really eat it more than once a year. It's the other stuff that's important.

And what about the corn? WILL SOMEBODY THINK OF THE CORN?!?!?

 

[Owyn_Merrilin]

Well, fark. There's supposed to be a beef shortage in the near future for the same reasons (apparently half ton poop factories eat a lot, who knew?). I have a feeling there will be a lot of chicken in my future, and chicken gets really boring after a while...

 

[Felgy76]

Well, I guess there's only one thing left to do.

 

[Albino Boo]

Hah, I eat soy bacon bitches. Let's get some fuckin' synthetic poultry UP IN THIS

shit yeah

Sorry pal but there is a soy shortage too. This is an extinction level event, there is no escape from the bacocalypse.

 

[weirdee]

I admire the US spirit to buy things, but China houses the most pork eating people per capita and has crazy deep pockets. I fear for our lives in the oncoming conflict.

 

[Meight08]

*puts down a chicken sandwich*

Wot?

Well Chicken is better than bacon anyway
*runs into armoured flame bunker*

 

[Hazy992]

And so it begins, the end times are upon us. The Mayans were right! May God have mercy on us all

 

[Boris Goodenough]

Well Chicken is better than bacon anyway
*runs into armoured flame bunker*

Healhtier, yes, better? BWA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA, I did not think it was possible to be soooooo wrong about something.

Solve media: marry me
But we hardly know each other!

 

[Daystar Clarion]

Are we talking about real bacon or American bacon?

Because there's a huge difference.

 

[Blazing Steel]

Hopefully the myans were right...

 

[ckam]

We brought this upon ourselves. WE just ignored the warnings... How unfortunate.

 

[tokae]

My reaction to this topic:

I just.. I.. I don't want this anymore...
Just, WHY!?
At this rate I might as well go vegetarian.

 

[Spaghetti]

Are we talking about real bacon or American bacon?

Because there's a huge difference.

I second this question. What problem are Yanks gonna have? Their shrivelled strips of fat with a sliver of meat attached is barely 0.5% of a pig.

Spoiler: These Glorious Porky Strips are true Bacon!

Without our Bacon Butties, the UK will collapse in less than a week

 

[Vanbael]

*inhales* NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
*hyperventalates*ooooooooooo...

*catches breath*

Looks like I'll have to resort to alternates. Turkey bacon should suffice for now.

 

[TheRightToArmBears]

This is a fucking disgrace! What the fuck am I meant to do with my fucking cakes when I don't fucking have any more fucking bacon fucking icing left? How the fuck was this allowed to fucking happen? I won't fucking even have any fucking bacon flavoured toothfuckingpaste! I want my fucking bacon!

 

[Sixties Spidey]

Oh man, so many people must be fucking pissed at Epic Meal Time. Expect a Jack Daniels shortage in the same year.

 

[Somethingfake]

N...No...NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!
[HEADING=2]I'm outta here![/HEADING]

THERES NOTHING LEFT FOR ME IN THIS WORLD!!!

Could you tell me where that gif is from?

 

[Elemorea]

Hang on, I thought pigs could eat almost any food type. Meat, grains, veg, I've even heard of them eating human remains. I fail to see how they could not have been fed with a substitute.

 

[BiscuitWheels]

Thank god. So maybe now all the hipster douches who rant about bacon and put bacon on everything including fucking ice-cream can find some other food to love ironically.

 

[The Pumpkin Witch]

*Puts on Ultra-Conservative Republican hat*

"This is nothing more than typical liberal trash. Science is wrong. Mankind--not humanity--MANkind is commanded by God to dominate the world and all its animals.

Liberals are the real swine--obstructing the wholesome production of divinely blessed porkage with their vile EPA standards.

Global Warming is a hoax. The complete melting of the polar ice caps happen all the time. Just thirty years ago liberal paid scientists were falsifying their data to prove that we were entering an ice age.

Science doesn't belong in schools. The Department of Education should be eradicated. All teachers who pass on these lies about Global Warming should be fired and replaced with supporters of Intelligent Design.

There is no bacon shortage. There will never be a bacon shortage. If a bacon shortage occurred it would solely be a result of God punishing Americans for not supporting an American theocracy."

***cough---choke---cough***

Sorry, everybody. I couldn't keep the Dunce Hat on any longer.

OT: I don't eat that much bacon, but my roommate lives on the stuff. Bacon sandwiches two or three times a week. Bacon on his salads, etc. This won't go over well with him.