"Unavoidable" Global Bacon Shortage Expected Next Year

Storm Dragon

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NNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...
 

teh_Canape

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Secret world leader (shhh) said:
This is...this is...we have to act. We must save the bacon! Now! BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE!
we must... we must...
I KNOW
WE SHOULD SPLICE PORK AND PLANT DNA AND MAKE BACON THAT GROWS ON TREES!
 

Storm Dragon

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...OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!
 

Valanthe

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This is how it began, it seemed so innocent, so innocuous. But we ignored the warnings, didn't consider the bigger picture until it was too late. The lack of bacon led to rioting in Washington, London, and Paris. Nations unable to supply their people with the delicious fatty substance quickly fell to anarchy.

China had seen the signs, and began, in an alliance with North Korea, to stockpile their bacon while implementing harsh rationing programs on their population. Able to weather the storm, they came out ahead of all the other nations, with their economic superiority they began to pass laws that affected billions, with the threat of embargoes from the last remaining bacon supplier, the other countries fell into line swiftly, or so it seemed.

The American people, having spent so long as the top dogs in the world, refused to bow down to their new Chinese masters, and struck out, mobilizing their navy to break the blockades. And so began the Great Bacon War.
 

Pharsalus

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Jun 16, 2011
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Sweet jeesus, what about all the Waffle Houses?! The South will have to secede again and invade the north for bacon.
 

Imp_Emissary

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The Rascal King said:
Hah, I eat soy bacon bitches. Let's get some fuckin' synthetic poultry UP IN THIS



shit yeah
Sorry to bum you out, but the reason we are going to have a bacon shortage is because we are having a soy shortage.

More people eat bacon than soy, so..... All soy will be going to feed the bac-, I mean pigs. ;p

Edit: Ah, I have been ninja'd. First time.
 

Paradoxrifts

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Trilligan said:
"Bacon is for sycophants and the products of incest."

That is all
So you're some sort of Vegan, or Vegetarian?

I am not at all surprised to tell you the truth. Now go back to your novelty collection of fondue pots, knave, and leave us in our misery.
 

Alcamonic

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As long as the soy production holds up, I will be fine.

Also, what is this about soy bacon? WHY DOES MY LOCAL STORE NOT HAVE THIS!?
 

RipRoaringWaterfowl

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Jun 20, 2011
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Wait...

It all makes sense now.

When Aku wanted to send me to a dystopian future, at first I thought he failed. But now I realize: he wanted me to become acclimated to a good, if flawed, world, then slowly eat away at it until we are all in a world of shit. He wanted to truly break me, as well as the world.

I need to stop him.

I must go back in time and defeat him.

I must... save the bacon.

<youtube=gMAgQf4ZJXY>
 

Paradoxrifts

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Trilligan said:
Paradoxrifts said:
Trilligan said:
"Bacon is for sycophants and the products of incest."

That is all
So you're some sort of Vegan, or Vegetarian?

I am not at all surprised to tell you the truth. Now go back to your novelty collection of fondue pots, knave, and leave us in our misery.


I still think your fridge is full of tofu, and crisp vegetables, and whole grains, and fresh fruit.

You absolute monster.
 

Xanadu84

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Elemorea said:
Hang on, I thought pigs could eat almost any food type. Meat, grains, veg, I've even heard of them eating human remains. I fail to see how they could not have been fed with a substitute.
The problem is that crops like Corn are already optimized extremely well for giving calories per acre of land. For a small number of pigs, it's plenty easy to just throw scraps and forage locally. But for pigs on that industrial scale, you need massive quantities of cultivated crops, and alternatives would barely be a drop in the bucket.

Also, in case anyone is ACTUALLY freaking out, don't worry. You're not looking at store shelves devoid of delicious bacon. You're looking at paying an extra couple bucks for a pack. Supply goes down, then prices will increase so demand drops to match. Either you will spend the extra money, or you won't care enough to spend the extra money. You will be fine either way. Not that freaking out and expressing a love for bacon isn't harmless amusement, because it is, and Bacon is delicious.
 

Xanadu84

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Imp Emissary said:
The Rascal King said:
Hah, I eat soy bacon bitches. Let's get some fuckin' synthetic poultry UP IN THIS



shit yeah
Sorry to bum you out, but the reason we are going to have a bacon shortage is because we are having a soy shortage.

More people eat bacon than soy, so..... All soy will be going to feed the bac-, I mean pigs. ;p

Edit: Ah, I have been ninja'd. First time.
Probably not. It takes a lot of soy to get some amount of bacon. Especially since most of that soy will be turned into other various types of pork. It would make sense to double down on Soy sales, hopefully benefiting from a price increase, then to try to eek out a little bacon.
 

OldNewNewOld

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Mar 2, 2011
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You people don't realize that this was the plan of AlKaida all along.
Muslims and Jews don't eat pork. They made an alliance in order to change the world order. Bin Laden was just a distraction, a small fish.

>.>
<.<
*puts on tinfoil hat*
Finally safe. -,-'
 

Souleks

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Jan 17, 2009
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I think in these dire circumstances sacrifices must be made so if bacon supplies must go down so must the population we can't feed all of you so I think some of you must be sacrificed.After all desperate times call for desperate measures.

not it.