"Undateable"

Paragon Fury

The Loud Shadow
Jan 23, 2009
5,161
0
0
No, not radio carbon dating.

I was having a discussion with a friend the other day about how I've only ever gone on one date. He kept arguing that "Of course you'll meet women and go out" and that "everyone goes on dates on has a girlfriend at some time or another". I said that no, even I were to get lucky and get a first date, a second wouldn't happen. I told him that someone like me would be undateable not because of creepiness or being BAD; rather someone like me is just so bland and not interesting that people would rather go out with literally anyone else. He thought it was a silly idea.

I'm not sure it is. So I wonder; setting OBVIOUS things that would make a person undateable like being mean etc. Could someone be just so bland, average (or below average) and uninteresting that no one would want to go out with them? Or, to up the requirement, no one would want to go out with them that THEY would also want to have anything to do with?
 

The Rogue Wolf

Stealthy Carnivore
Legacy
Nov 25, 2007
16,302
8,778
118
Stalking the Digital Tundra
Gender
✅
Everyone is someone's fetish.

The human species has too wide a range of tastes, desires and inclinations for any one reasonably-healthy, reasonably-stable member to be completely unappealing to the entire subset of preferred romantic targets. The hard part is just finding one of them and making a connection.

I mean, hell, I have not one but two women in my life who have no qualms about driving a couple hundred miles to spend time with me when they get the chance. And in my own estimation I'm about as appealing as an appendectomy performed with a rabid porcupine.
 

Caiphus

Social Office Corridor
Mar 31, 2010
1,181
0
0
There's nothing wrong with being average, OP. It depends on what you mean by bland; I'd date someone who was average, but not someone who was totally boring.

So what do you mean? Do you come home from a day at the cardboard factory to stare at your favourite patch of dry wall? Because, if you do. I dunno, get some hobbies. But don't feel down about yourself because you fall close to the middle of a few bell curves.

I mean, if you're making jokes about carbon dating, you're probably at least reasonably clever? Maybe don't use it as a pick up line, but eh.
 

manic_depressive13

New member
Dec 28, 2008
2,617
0
0
Even if you happen to be the most stupid, ugly, unlikeable person in the world (which I doubt you are), there will always be someone desperate enough to date you. My mum, for example, as evidenced by my dad.

So chin up, buddy.
 

Vault101

I'm in your mind fuzz
Sep 26, 2010
18,863
15
43
manic_depressive13 said:
Even if you happen to be the most stupid, ugly, unlikeable person in the world (which I doubt you are), there will always be someone desperate enough to date you. My mum, for example, as evidenced by my dad.
.
can't tell if that's uplifting or depressing.....

OT: I hate to sound cliché OP but it IS kind of a self fulfilling prophecy...that and why not branch out and try new thing? theres that famous cracked article by David Wong and while I'm not the biggest fan of him most of the time he does make the point that you can't just wait around to "happen" as a person, you gotta make it happenyou gotta DO something....

anyway if someone is that bland/average/whatever I'm sure there is someone just as bland/average/whatever

me? I don't know....I don't think I could go out with someone who was "bland" but then I don't know who the hell I want, maybe they'd find ME boring and/or bland...
 

Colour Scientist

Troll the Respawn, Jeremy!
Jul 15, 2009
4,722
0
0
Bland is subjective.

One person's bland could be another person's interesting and sexy. It can take a bit longer for some people to find their lobster but it does happen.

If you don't fancy the waiting game and really think you're that uninteresting and undateable, maybe try to do something about it.
Try out some new hobbies, get a haircut, go to the gym, start Internet dating, I don't know.

I think if something is really getting you down that much, you have to start thinking about doing something about it.
 
Oct 12, 2011
561
0
0
A rather bizarre friend of mine once said "The only type of person who is never going to be able to get a date is someone who is already dead. And that's mostly because they make lousy conversationalists."

Yeah, I have some interesting friends.
 

Johnny Novgorod

Bebop Man
Legacy
Feb 9, 2012
18,465
3,005
118
Well, it's true not every person in the history of people has found their significant other. Just try not to throw off those vibes OP, confidence is a big part of getting a date.
 

Smooth Operator

New member
Oct 5, 2010
8,162
0
0
There is absolutely such a thing as undateable, and I don't mean people never being approached as if some horrible monstrosity... that is fiction, I mean people who go on dates and immediately put everyone off.
Novices should consider dating much like any game or sport, if you have no intention of playing you are never going to win anything, plain and simply if you are unwilling/too scared to ride a bicycle you aren't going to win any bike races.

Which makes ye olde "just be yourself" or the even worse "there is someone for everyone" shit so damning for newcomers. Yes being yourself is good when your shit works, is absolutely not fucking good when your shit drives people away. So how do the rules of dating go then? Quite simply you need to entertain, otherwise what reason would the other party have to stick around.
"But I am unwilling to entertain others!" Well then we are back to square one, you don't ride the bike you don't get the prize.
"But I'm no good at entertaining others!" Did you expect to win the bike race without trying? Ya this shit takes a whole lot of hard work and you aren't the only one competing.
"But everyone else is a natural and I'm not!" Everyone who looks like a natural has been doing it for years, everything takes time to get good at.
"But I would much rather an easy way in!" Tough shit because there is none, sure you can get some with a fat wallet but that creates a relationship with the wallet and not you.
 

Dimitriov

The end is nigh.
May 24, 2010
1,215
0
0
I feel this thread requires this:


And always remember, no matter how bland/stupid/ugly/boring/ or unpleasant smelling you are, there is some else out there who's just as bad! :D

Wait that was meant to sound reassuring... ok back to the above clip: there's always alcohol.
 

Thaluikhain

Elite Member
Legacy
Jan 16, 2010
18,576
3,532
118
Well...does it count if they avoid going on dates? Cause that would make them undateable.

Otherwise, not really. In any case, I don't think this is as big a deal as it is made out to be. Very few people have ever died from not going on enough dates.
 

Imperioratorex Caprae

Henchgoat Emperor
May 15, 2010
5,499
0
0
Having a low opinion of yourself is a surefire way of never getting a date or girlfriend or whatever. Stop worrying about it, get out and meet people not to date them but just to meet more people. Either you'll meet someone and hit it off or have new friends to hang out, chat with, whatever. And maybe look for ways to boost your self confidence. BTW self confidence doesn't come from having a significant other on your arm, that demeans both the idea of a relationship and anyone you potentially see as a companion. Girlfriends/boyfriends/wives/husbands don't exist to make you feel better about yourself by being with you. Though they can help you out of depressive funks now and again, thats not their function. Just to let you know.
I don't know you personally so I can't give advice on your personality or lack thereof. All I can say is get out there and meet folks, and don't give up on things. Law of averages says you can't fail every time, but you will always fail the shots you never take.
 

Lil devils x_v1legacy

More Lego Goats Please!
May 17, 2011
2,728
0
0
thaluikhain said:
Well...does it count if they avoid going on dates? Cause that would make them undateable.

Otherwise, not really. In any case, I don't think this is as big a deal as it is made out to be. Very few people have ever died from not going on enough dates.
Well yea though they could be "undateable" if they go on a date and are totally off putting by not talking, shrugging, and having a "meh" attitude about the date or person they are on the date with. You can go out on a date and then not talk, or do anything, which of course could make someone pretty undateable. There are plenty of personality and social issues that can cause someone to be undatable. If you go on a date and then are off putting or rude and unable to have a good rapport on your dates, you could be seen as undatable as well.
 

BeerTent

Resident Furry Pimp
May 8, 2011
1,167
0
0
Colour Scientist said:
Bland is subjective.

One person's bland could be another person's interesting and sexy. It can take a bit longer for some people to find their lobster but it does happen.[...]

Apparently he was right next to a wolf cub. Who knew?!
(I love your terminology.)

Paragon Fury said:
No, not radio carbon dating.[...]
Don't think you're undateable. That's silly. Here's what I do. I have a few friends of the opposite gender whom I deeply trust and care for. Also, keep in mind that you've already shown you're a bit silly. People like comedians.

Don't think about dating. Just try to meet new people. Male, female... who gives a shit? Break down that shyness.

Do what you love doing. Go out, enjoy it with friends. Find groups of people who like doing that thing too.

Be nice, be kind. Nobody likes an angry stomping person.

Be passionate about what you really care about. I could talk people's ears off when it comes to computer technology.

Also: Be confident. Don't go around thinking your "Broken" or "Defective." You're not. We all have our strange quirks and weirdness. This is exactly why I tell you to care about what you love. It makes you confident, and our emotions are infectious. If you're mopey, angry, you'll bring everyone down. But if you're as happy as a corgi, then other people will sense that, and it's very easy to uplift most people that way too.

Seriously, this is why Dogs are always so happy to see you. Because they know that if they put you in a good mood, they'll get more treats.

If you really, REALLY are that bland... Like, you have nothing to be passionate about... Go and find something to do! Go somewhere you haven't gone before! Talk to professionals... You'll find something. Tent promises! And I never, EVER fall back on MY promises!
 

Adam Jensen_v1legacy

I never asked for this
Sep 8, 2011
6,651
0
0
Sure, undateable people exist. But you sound insecure. Insecure people tend to see themselves in a negative light. It's not unnatural to think that you're bland and boring. You can't look at yourself objectively, it's literally impossible. So thinking about yourself as boring serves no purpose and it's just as justified as thinking that you're god's gift to women. You can't know if it's true or not, and your way is only making you feel more insecure. Besides, only narcissists think that they're awesome.

Try this. Write down 10 things that you like about yourself. And take your time with this. It's a worthwhile exercise.
Then write down 10 things you don't like about yourself and rate their level of importance, then think about how to solve those 10 things. 8 years ago obesity was on the top of my list. And now I'm ripped like Chris Evans in Captain America. It's all in your head.