"Undateable"

SadisticFire

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Oct 1, 2012
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shootthebandit said:
I can offer you some magic elixir which boosts your stats as follows

+50 charisma
-20 intelligence
-40 dexterity

N.b The effects are temporary and it may take between a few hours and a day to recharge your mana after consumption

fortunately you are in luck my friend, as my magic elixir can be obtained from most inns, taverns or ye olde shops

Please don't try and use alcohol to overcome any 'flaw' you might have. That's the way you start your path onto alcoholism. Don't rely on alcohol, it's a shitty thing to do for a multitude of reasons.

And so what if you're undatable? Friends are fine, don't have any? Online peeps are still friends. Maybe it's because I've already had a shitty time with other people, but it's not really that bad being alone. You don't have to worry about some one else, you will never seriously let down some one. Then you get the benefits of cheaper living and stuffs, or you aren't dependent on some one else for your money. It's a no lose situation. It's what I've figured and going to live my life as.
 

Sigmund Av Volsung

Hella noided
Dec 11, 2009
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You're too self-deprecating and self-conscious.

I've heard many people say that people like confidence; both women and men(I am in that category where I prefer an outgoing woman instead of a quiet, shy girl, but that's just me :p). If you're too fixated on why a person might not like you, then you are digging yourself into a hole.

Don't do that. It can lead to problems, and trust me, I know. Everyone has faults, but it's moving past them, and turning them into strengths that completes a person.

If you find it difficult to move past any limitations that you might have... then I leave you with this quote from a man who oozes confidence, and does the impossible because he never gives up.


I apply that mentality to every challenge that comes my way!
 

Andysweden

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May 21, 2014
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Paragon Fury said:
No, not radio carbon dating.

I was having a discussion with a friend the other day about how I've only ever gone on one date. He kept arguing that "Of course you'll meet women and go out" and that "everyone goes on dates on has a girlfriend at some time or another". I said that no, even I were to get lucky and get a first date, a second wouldn't happen. I told him that someone like me would be undateable not because of creepiness or being BAD; rather someone like me is just so bland and not interesting that people would rather go out with literally anyone else. He thought it was a silly idea.

I'm not sure it is. So I wonder; setting OBVIOUS things that would make a person undateable like being mean etc. Could someone be just so bland, average (or below average) and uninteresting that no one would want to go out with them? Or, to up the requirement, no one would want to go out with them that THEY would also want to have anything to do with?
With that attitude you are defeated before you even start.
Getting dates is 90% confidence and you don't seem to have any.
 

SuperScrub

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May 3, 2012
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Unless your name is Christian Weston Chandler you're not undateable. There's rarely ever nobody for somebody, you'll just have to look for it. Sure some get second dates before the first one is even over and others have to search every single women in a 10 mile radius to even find one date but you'll find one. Chill out.
 

V4Viewtiful

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Feb 12, 2014
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shootthebandit said:
I can offer you some magic elixir which boosts your stats as follows

+50 charisma
-20 intelligence
-40 dexterity
I only have half of any of them.

Anyway...
Paragon Fury said:
No, not radio carbon dating.

I was having a discussion with a friend the other day about how I've only ever gone on one date. He kept arguing that "Of course you'll meet women and go out" and that "everyone goes on dates on has a girlfriend at some time or another". I said that no, even I were to get lucky and get a first date, a second wouldn't happen. I told him that someone like me would be undateable not because of creepiness or being BAD; rather someone like me is just so bland and not interesting that people would rather go out with literally anyone else. He thought it was a silly idea.

I'm not sure it is. So I wonder; setting OBVIOUS things that would make a person undateable like being mean etc. Could someone be just so bland, average (or below average) and uninteresting that no one would want to go out with them? Or, to up the requirement, no one would want to go out with them that THEY would also want to have anything to do with?
Yeah, I usually listen to the same thing but from family members it's annoying because they tell me all these things on how either there other half did to get them or how to attract other people and to me it sounds like they're telling me how to turn iron into gold, like it's easy.

Well, there's always alcohol.
 

hazabaza1

Want Skyrim. Want. Do want.
Nov 26, 2008
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Just want to say that while most people are taking a slightly more positive approach, if you're still not convinced I think I understand what you're feeling and have a bit of it myself.

I'm in that wonderful state of being where I'm a bit smart and not too ugly, but not incredibly smart of incredibly beautiful. Also fairly not social and self deprecating so even if someone genuinely did find me to be the most attractive amazing person ever I can't logically make sense of that in my head and would immediately assume some kind of fibbing.

I think that's kind of close to what you're feeling? I dunno. Basically, long story short, I'm sure a lot of other people have felt the same way over the years but give it time and broaden your horizons or something and you might find yourself in a different state of mind.
But hey what do I know.
 

Vault101

I'm in your mind fuzz
Sep 26, 2010
18,863
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Netrigan said:
The mistake I see so many guys (myself included) make is we tend to focus in on the popular girls, the ones who are spoiled for options. The less you bring to the table, the less likely they are to choose you.

Now, by all means, don't think of "she's out of my league" as an absolute barrier. There's no harm in asking, but be on the look out for the lonely girls, the ones who don't have a lot of options, because they're not very outgoing or don't have all the qualities the superficial male enjoys. There's a lot of great women who are being over-looked and if you're not very exciting, they'll probably have more in common with you than the flashier girls.
.
so erm..."average" girls are fated to be with boring people?

ok I get thats not what your saying, its just I couldn't imagine being with somone who I didn't find interesting/stimulating on some level, thats not to say I'd expect (or am entitled too) some super hot perfect person definitely not

it also depends on who you get a long with more, some hot football player for example would probably not gel with me at all [sub/](I'd never rule anyone out of coarse)[/sub]

of coarse I'm only speaking in abstract terms, I've very little actual experience and would liek to think people are a little more multifaceted than the "types" we assign them
 

Netrigan

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Sep 29, 2010
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Vault101 said:
Netrigan said:
The mistake I see so many guys (myself included) make is we tend to focus in on the popular girls, the ones who are spoiled for options. The less you bring to the table, the less likely they are to choose you.

Now, by all means, don't think of "she's out of my league" as an absolute barrier. There's no harm in asking, but be on the look out for the lonely girls, the ones who don't have a lot of options, because they're not very outgoing or don't have all the qualities the superficial male enjoys. There's a lot of great women who are being over-looked and if you're not very exciting, they'll probably have more in common with you than the flashier girls.
.
so erm..."average" girls are fated to be with boring people?

ok I get thats not what your saying, its just I couldn't imagine being with somone who I didn't find interesting/stimulating on some level, thats not to say I'd expect (or am entitled too) some super hot perfect person definitely not

it also depends on who you get a long with more, some hot football player for example would probably not gel with me at all [sub/](I'd never rule anyone out of coarse)[/sub]

of coarse I'm only speaking in abstract terms, I've very little actual experience and would liek to think people are a little more multifaceted than the "types" we assign them
More like boring is in the eye of the beholder. To many people the perfect evening is curling up with someone and watching Castle together, not going out clubbing or other "exciting" things.

There's all kinds of women I find interesting, but really aren't for me because I'm a homebody with a rich interior life. I'd rather spend an evening discussing a really good TV show and for that you need someone with those attributes.


The whole point is to look beyond the obvious choices. I see too many guys get hung up on why the superficially attractive girl doesn't like them that they don't realize they don't particularly like them either. They just like how they look.
 

shootthebandit

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May 20, 2009
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SadisticFire said:
shootthebandit said:
I can offer you some magic elixir which boosts your stats as follows

+50 charisma
-20 intelligence
-40 dexterity

N.b The effects are temporary and it may take between a few hours and a day to recharge your mana after consumption

fortunately you are in luck my friend, as my magic elixir can be obtained from most inns, taverns or ye olde shops

Please don't try and use alcohol to overcome any 'flaw' you might have. That's the way you start your path onto alcoholism. Don't rely on alcohol, it's a shitty thing to do for a multitude of reasons
My comment was intended to be a bit tongue and cheek and of course I dont advocate alcohol as a solution to your problems. However at the same time you cannot deny that in a lot of cases alcohol can help you turn the charm on. Im not lacking in confidence when talking to women but when ive had a few drinks I get a real gift of the gab (if having too much is a different story). Certainly in the UK the main way to meet women is to go to bars/clubs (yes I know our society is fucked) and at a bar you are probably going to be consuming alcohol
 

Paragon Fury

The Loud Shadow
Jan 23, 2009
5,161
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NOTE: I've made the "Part 2" to this thread in the Advice Forum, found here: http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/538.865940-Undateable-Pt-2

I wanted to reply to this one for a while, but I thought it would be better suited to Advice. Though if you want to continue the original topic I suppose thats fine.
 

Jesterscup

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Sep 9, 2014
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Caiphus said:
I mean, if you're making jokes about carbon dating, you're probably at least reasonably clever? Maybe don't use it as a pick up line, but eh.
I dunno, I've never really 'dated' in a traditional sense, though the first night I went out with my wife ( clearly she was not my wife at this point), we talked black holes and cosmology all night, I'd assume she found that rather attractive as we've been together 16 years and have 2 children.
 

PsychicTaco115

I've Been Having These Weird Dreams Lately...
Legacy
Mar 17, 2012
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"Everybody's somebody's everything
...
Nobody's nothing"

The song says it so it's true gotdang it!
 

Dizchu

...brutal
Sep 23, 2014
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The way I see it, to enter a relationship there has to be a mutual feeling of desire.

Try to regard yourself from a third-person perspective. Would you like to hang out with yourself? I personally see relationships as an enhanced form of friendship, many of the same rules apply (if people didn't like you, nobody would hang out with you).

Wear your interests and hobbies proudly (well, if they are SFW), people will relate to you because of shared interests. Maybe one of those people will be interested in dating you.

But to be honest I'm not the best person to give advice. I have never been on a date, been in a relationship, done anything more than affectionately cuddle and kiss a few girls. Due to extreme insecurities I doubt I'll ever allow myself to be in a relationship, but that's my choice. I have not been rejected I just don't want to be involved. If you want to be involved then eventually something will happen. Just try keeping social.
 

Mikeybb

Nunc est Durandum
Aug 19, 2014
862
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Paragon Fury said:
No, not radio carbon dating.

I was having a discussion with a friend the other day about how I've only ever gone on one date. He kept arguing that "Of course you'll meet women and go out" and that "everyone goes on dates on has a girlfriend at some time or another". I said that no, even I were to get lucky and get a first date, a second wouldn't happen. I told him that someone like me would be undateable not because of creepiness or being BAD; rather someone like me is just so bland and not interesting that people would rather go out with literally anyone else. He thought it was a silly idea.

I'm not sure it is. So I wonder; setting OBVIOUS things that would make a person undateable like being mean etc. Could someone be just so bland, average (or below average) and uninteresting that no one would want to go out with them? Or, to up the requirement, no one would want to go out with them that THEY would also want to have anything to do with?
I remember a saying.

"Still waters run deep."

For as many people who look only for that surface impression, there are just as many aware that there is always more to a person than that.
Some are even attracted specifically to that kind of person.
Perhaps because of an element of mystery involved in it.

Oh.
If you do go ahead and use shootthebandit's magic elixir, be careful.
A full bottle can have the side effect of public humiliation and/or nudity.