MS: Please tell me you?re going to appeal to my humanity.
Me: Uh, actually. I?m planning on threatening you.
MS: Heh. You should have kept your last gen system for that.
Me: Yeah?It?s seen a bit of mileage, and you?ve the?uh?*points at Xbox One* system of destiny. Would you like a drink?
MS: Stalling me won?t change anything.
Me: No no no. Threatening. No drink? You sure? I?m having one.
MS: The new generation is coming. Nothing will change that. What have I to fear?
Me: The Gaming Community.
MS: *looks puzzled*
Me: It?s what we call ourselves. Sort of like a team. Earth?s purchasers of game stuff type thing.
MS: Yes. I?ve met them.
Me: Yeah. Takes us awhile to get any traction, I?ll give you that one, but let?s do a head count here. Your fanboys, slavering as they are. (MS turns their back in disgust. I grab Steam, PS4, WiiU, GoG and other alternatives) The core audience, who lives up to the name. The hardcore with breathtaking anger management issues. The casuals. And ?you-, big fella, you?ve managed to piss off every single one of them.
MS: That was the plan.
Me: Not a great plan. When they come, and they will, they?ll just pass you by.
MS: I have control over used game sales.
Me: We have a Steam.
MS: I thought the beast didn't allow used-game sales, either.
Me: You?re missing the point. There?s no throne. There is no version of this where you come out on top. Maybe your anti-consumer practices come, and maybe they?re too much for us, but it?s all on you. Because if we can?t protect the gaming market, you can be damn well sure we?ll avenge it.
MS: How will your friends have time for that, when they?ll be so busy fighting you? (Sticks me with the Cloud Computing spear. Nothing happens. Tries again, nothing happens). This usually works.
Me: Well, performance issues...not uncommon. I mean, look at SimCity and Diablo 3?(MS grabs me by the throat and throws me to the ground)?deploy?
MS: (Grabs me again) YOU WILL ALL. FALL. BEFORE ME.
Me: deploy?deploy!(MS Tosses me out the window, promptly gets uppercutted by all the alternatives to it, which fly down and save my ass)
Me: ?and there?s one other person you pissed off. His name is Jim. (Blasts MS)