Useless Superpower

[Viral_Lola]

The ability to shapeshift into a bucket of water.

Really, what were those twins called from that one TV show? There was a girl and a guy, and when they shapeshifted the guy was always a bucket of water and the girl was always slightly more useful, but not that much more. I can't think of their names nor the name of the show, but those two characters sucked. They were completely useless.

Also, I would love the ability to teleport like in Jumper. I would never actually draw attention to myself, but I would save tons of money on gas. Teleport into a store, buy what I want, and then teleport out right in front of everyone. Awesome. Who needs secrecy?

It was a Cartoon network skit/short about the Wondertwins.

I guess the power to grow your hair super fast?

 

[Hydro Imp]

Time travel, but only to go back and use a witty comeback for an argument.

 

[Ajna]

InB4SomeoneSaysHeart.

I have no intention of reading through five pages of replies to ensure no one has said this yet, but:

Heart was an awesome superpower in the context of that show, if you actually think about it. The guy/girl (I forget) who had that power basically had the power of mind control. But since s/he was a goody two-shoes, s/he would never use it on innocents, and the villains were always immune because "YOU'RE HEARTLESS!" (As the Planeteers would shout). But if Joe Shmo had that power, it'd kick ass.

My useless super power: A photographic memory. But only for print ads.

 

[Fledge]

The power to see one second into the future.

That could actually be really useful if your job involved lots of martial arts or GUNS

 

[smithy_2045]

The power of Heart. What the fuck can you do with heart?

Bleed on people?

 

[irrelevant83]

The power to see one second into the future.

That's not completely useless. You'd be allowed to tailgate with impunity!

 

[munx13]

The ability to turn invisible while nobody is looking.

 

[irrelevant83]

The power to not believe in the world around him, but only if I suffer from leprosy.

 

[irrelevant83]

The ability to write a groundbreaking original novel that has already been written.

 

[Cipher1]

A super sense of decorum that or a super sense of taste what the hell could you do with that.

 

[Biosophilogical]

To Sing!!! in space....

To create a single skittle once a day ... in space ... three million light years away in a random direction.

Though I guess if there are aliens, and one of them happens to be exactly three million light years away conducting a schrodinger's cat experiment and I accidentally make a skittle in his box ... well that could seirously throw off his civilisation's entire understanding of quantum mechanics

EDIT:

The ability to change the color of your piss.

OMG!

The ability to change the color of your piss.

That sounds like fun! I actually want rainbow piss now.

Me too! Also, if someone stands next to you at a urinal (how rude!), freak tehm out with glowing green piss.

 

[Kud]

The power to see one second into the future.

That could be the one second that saves you from being shot. You'd be like Neo.

 

[Tourmeta]

The ability to spot the longest straw of grass in any field.

 

[TheHappySquid]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r2NP4WZJ-mI This. It's more of a curse than a power, though.

 

[HotPocket]

The power to not change the channel when ads are playing.

 

[John the Gamer]

Communicating with you lowly humans. Pretty useless....

I mean... Look! A monkey:

 

[BlackStar42]

To be able to play any instrument masterfully just by picking it up.
Somewhat of a lame Mutant Ability.

No, that's bloody useful! I'd definitely take that one.

 

[Emilox The Great]

X-ray vision, but only when i look at unattractive people. OH THE HORROR!

 

[mcattack92]

The ability to create unique 'x many people are something related to video' comments on youtube.
The reason behind why people do this still eludes me.

 

[ToastiestZombie]

Having the most advanced hindsight IN THE UNIVERSE. You could be called Captain Hindsight and come to disasters after they've happened then tell people how they could of prevented it.

[sub]South Park Reference FTW[/sub]