Uwe Boll Making Movie About Nazi-Fighting, Overweight Swordswoman

[captaincabbage]

Oh yeah, I have one niggling question. Who the FUCK keeps blowing all this money on such a ball-crushingly bad director!?!??
It's kind of understandable for a producer to hand out cheques to people like M. Night Shayamalamadingdong, since he has had at least two or three great movies, but Uwe Boll? I bet you can't name a single actually decent film by him. EVER.

Apparently, Rampage was pretty decent, but I haven't seen it, so I couldn't tell you. As for the money-making bit, he takes advantage of loopholes in German law to make a profit on his films, regardless of how hard they bomb, or so I'm told (I'm not familiar with the specifics).

As for this film, the poster alone looks hysterical. I may have to purchase this exclusively on principle.

Ih you poor misguided child, how wrong you are. Goddamn Rampage was bad. Not as bad as his other films, but it was still unbearable to watch. I saw it when I was still a rosy-cheeked young kid like yourself and in the hour of pain that that movie produced it rended me as a shrivelled, black hearted bastard.
Well, it's good to know that he's not actually making a 'real' profit off his movies. Maybe we can find a loophole in the german laws that leads him to being lynched or something. I'm sure we can do it since he's apparently making a fucking fortune off the worst movies ever.

 

[manaman]

I'm going to watch this on principle. There is no way I'm going to let something as silly as this pass by me!

His movies tend to be rooted firmly in so bad they are unwatchable territory. I don't know if he is going for so bad it's good, but they never quite hit the mark, or even anywhere close to the target.

 

[BlumiereBleck]

I'm frightened. I really am.

As am I, asssss ammmmm IIIII.

 

[Madara XIII]

.... this is a joke. Right? It has to be a joke.

[sub]Please... please tell me this is a joke... *huddles into a corner, sobbing*[/sub]

Hehehe Nope....This is Uwe Bolle we're talking about. Nothing is a joke to this guy even when his films prove to be....Shoot I'm just glad Hideo Kojima told his ass off when he suggested doing Metal Gear Movie.

 

[Madara XIII]

I'm going to watch this on principle. There is no way I'm going to let something as silly as this pass by me!

.......If it wasn't made by Uwe Bolle...(The bane of all of humanities Existence) I'd consider watching this, but honestly it's like how you don't find the Last Exorcist scary anymore because you found out Eli Roth Directed it...srsly that just made the movie boring finding that out.

 

[Madara XIII]

alright, putting on the anti flames suit

*zzzzzzzzziiip*

I'm looking forward to this, ever since Uwe Boll's Rampage

he's not a bad director, he's just stupid.... beyond belief

Mwahahaha Nothing will save you from the Black Flames of Amaterasu!!!

Seriously though...Just by looking at this, it may turn into something of a Kung Fu Hustle Type movie. Basically forgetting it's supposed to be a joke and be completely serious with some whacked moral of the story.

But that's my first judgement, either way the few movies I seen by this dude just made me want to commit suicide...MULTIPLE TIMES!!!

 

[Kije]

What is this I dont even

 

[Lord Beautiful]

Oh yeah, I have one niggling question. Who the FUCK keeps blowing all this money on such a ball-crushingly bad director!?!??
It's kind of understandable for a producer to hand out cheques to people like M. Night Shayamalamadingdong, since he has had at least two or three great movies, but Uwe Boll? I bet you can't name a single actually decent film by him. EVER.

Apparently, Rampage was pretty decent, but I haven't seen it, so I couldn't tell you. As for the money-making bit, he takes advantage of loopholes in German law to make a profit on his films, regardless of how hard they bomb, or so I'm told (I'm not familiar with the specifics).

As for this film, the poster alone looks hysterical. I may have to purchase this exclusively on principle.

Ih you poor misguided child, how wrong you are. Goddamn Rampage was bad. Not as bad as his other films, but it was still unbearable to watch. I saw it when I was still a rosy-cheeked young kid like yourself and in the hour of pain that that movie produced it rended me as a shrivelled, black hearted bastard.
Well, it's good to know that he's not actually making a 'real' profit off his movies. Maybe we can find a loophole in the german laws that leads him to being lynched or something. I'm sure we can do it since he's apparently making a fucking fortune off the worst movies ever.

I didn't say it was good, or that I saw it, just that I heard it was decent. From someone else. Someone who saw the movie. Who isn't me.

Also, the "rosy-cheeked young kid" comment amused me. Not only am I a cold, calculating, and delightfully cynical asshole, I'm technically older than you, albeit by a few months. Yes, I realize the irony of refuting your comment with the latter part of the previous sentence, and no, I don't care. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to read a phenominally boring tome ("book" doesn't do justice to the size of this hunk of tree matter) for class. Toodles.

 

[K_Dub]

Jesus Christ. *Begins banging head on desk*

*Abrubtly stops banging head*

You know what? Fine. I tend to agree with most people that Uwe Boll is just a terrible, terrible director. But! All his movies are EXTREMELY loose adaptations of other source materials. Now, I'm not defending the guy (anyone who does needs to start smacking themselves), but this sounds like a fairly original idea. So, my theory is that he can't totally botch up soemthing that hasn't already been done before. Then again, I have yet to see a good Uwe Boll film, so my theory is a bit flawed. None the less, I will give this movie a chance solely on the fact that this sounds like an interesting, and hilarious (if executed well), film. And if the movie does blow I'll just go back to doing what I normally do when I hear this guy's name.

*Goes back to banging head on desk*

 

[captaincabbage]

Oh yeah, I have one niggling question. Who the FUCK keeps blowing all this money on such a ball-crushingly bad director!?!??
It's kind of understandable for a producer to hand out cheques to people like M. Night Shayamalamadingdong, since he has had at least two or three great movies, but Uwe Boll? I bet you can't name a single actually decent film by him. EVER.

Apparently, Rampage was pretty decent, but I haven't seen it, so I couldn't tell you. As for the money-making bit, he takes advantage of loopholes in German law to make a profit on his films, regardless of how hard they bomb, or so I'm told (I'm not familiar with the specifics).

As for this film, the poster alone looks hysterical. I may have to purchase this exclusively on principle.

Ih you poor misguided child, how wrong you are. Goddamn Rampage was bad. Not as bad as his other films, but it was still unbearable to watch. I saw it when I was still a rosy-cheeked young kid like yourself and in the hour of pain that that movie produced it rended me as a shrivelled, black hearted bastard.
Well, it's good to know that he's not actually making a 'real' profit off his movies. Maybe we can find a loophole in the german laws that leads him to being lynched or something. I'm sure we can do it since he's apparently making a fucking fortune off the worst movies ever.

I didn't say it was good, or that I saw it, just that I heard it was decent. From someone else. Someone who saw the movie. Who isn't me.

Also, the "rosy-cheeked young kid" comment amused me. Not only am I a cold, calculating, and delightfully cynical asshole, I'm technically older than you, albeit by a few months. Yes, I realize the irony of refuting your comment with the latter part of the previous sentence, and no, I don't care. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to read a phenominally boring tome ("book" doesn't do justice to the size of this hunk of tree matter) for class. Toodles.

Yeah, my joke hinged on you not look up my age on my profile ^^

 

[teh_Canape]

Mwahahaha Nothing will save you from the Black Flames of Amaterasu!!!

Seriously though...Just by looking at this, it may turn into something of a Kung Fu Hustle Type movie. Basically forgetting it's supposed to be a joke and be completely serious with some whacked moral of the story.

But that's my first judgement, either way the few movies I seen by this dude just made me want to commit suicide...MULTIPLE TIMES!!!

idk, but I've been giving it some thought, and I'll go a bit game overthinker about this:

I noticed that so far (as far as I know), this is the most mature 'fatsplotation' movie I've known of

I mean, think about it, it may sound shitty enough to make Disaster Movie feel unclean, but it's the only movie I've known of that features a fat woman that isnt about how hard life is for them because they're fat and the world and skinny women look down upon them because they're fat and there's no clothes fitting them, this one, even though it may be the biggest shit ever, at least shows that fat women (or fat people, in general, myself included T-T) can be badass and star something not about how difficult life is with over weight

 

[Lord Honk]

This is one instance of me going "Meh, do what you want. Your attempts amuse me." Because, well, who here hasn't gotten just a bit of a good time from Uwe's films, if only to rip it to shreds with a select few friends over a couple o' drinks?

 

[Madara XIII]

Mwahahaha Nothing will save you from the Black Flames of Amaterasu!!!

Seriously though...Just by looking at this, it may turn into something of a Kung Fu Hustle Type movie. Basically forgetting it's supposed to be a joke and be completely serious with some whacked moral of the story.

But that's my first judgement, either way the few movies I seen by this dude just made me want to commit suicide...MULTIPLE TIMES!!!

idk, but I've been giving it some thought, and I'll go a bit game overthinker about this:

I noticed that so far (as far as I know), this is the most mature 'fatsplotation' movie I've known of

I mean, think about it, it may sound shitty enough to make Disaster Movie feel unclean, but it's the only movie I've known of that features a fat woman that isnt about how hard life is for them because they're fat and the world and skinny women look down upon them because they're fat and there's no clothes fitting them, this one, even though it may be the biggest shit ever, at least shows that fat women (or fat people, in general, myself included T-T) can be badass and star something not about how difficult life is with over weight

You know you raise a valid point. You really do. So in other words you're hoping they go family guy a bit with this and show that fat people kick ass? Hahaha ok now That might be a good excuse to go see it......Sadly Uwe Bolle has rubbed me teh wrong way for the last time!!

 

[teh_Canape]

You know you raise a valid point. You really do. So in other words you're hoping they go family guy a bit with this and show that fat people kick ass? Hahaha ok now That might be a good excuse to go see it......Sadly Uwe Bolle has rubbed me teh wrong way for the last time!!

I do? holy shit I'm useful!

anyways, he rubbed you wrong way last time? go watch Rampage

do it

NOW

it will make you go Sigmund Freud on society (yes, it's that psychologically smart)

 

[Programmed_For_Damage]

At least he's not mutilating some poor defenseless video game.

 

[Ldude893]

It's going to be panned by critics. PANNED

 

[Raziel_Likes_Souls]

"Fatsploitation?"
I have to see this; it could be the best bad movie since The Room!

YOU'RE TEARIN' ME APART HERE!

But, my gut says this is a bad idea, but my head says go for it. I dunno.

 

[Moonloo1]

She wasn't the wife in Postal, she played another small part. Wrong fat chick, dude.

 

[Moonloo1]

So, he got the rights to the movie version of Fat Princess?

Scarily, I recognise her as the wife of 'Postal Dude' in Postal the movie.

All she seemed to do was get shagged throughout the entire movie and complain about the Dude, so there's not much to go on in terms of carrying a movie as lead.

She wasn't the wife in Postal, she played another small role. Wrong fat chick, dude.