Violent women.
- Thread starter IrisEver
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Well, it is seen as sort of immature and anti-social to be violent. So that's naturally where a "childish" label will come in.
Of course, there are stupid times when men will get an excuse for acting childishly violent because it's "masculine". Luckily, or hopefully that mentality is on the decline, though.
On the other hand, I'm childish enough to find a bit of immature violence fun sometimes. Especially from women. I don't care whether they're positive or negative traits, I just don't like them being associated with men.
Of course, there are stupid times when men will get an excuse for acting childishly violent because it's "masculine". Luckily, or hopefully that mentality is on the decline, though.
On the other hand, I'm childish enough to find a bit of immature violence fun sometimes. Especially from women. I don't care whether they're positive or negative traits, I just don't like them being associated with men.
I actually said violent because I meant violent. I was simply refuting people thinking that all it can mean is that I'm a sociopath. If I were a sociopath, I'd admit it. People are so adversed to violence, and jump on the 'Ooohh that's always bad' train so readily.General Vagueness said:
I didn't refute it well because I didn't have much to refute. All I did was put it in more easy to understand terms with the 'playfighting' reference. People seemed of the thought that I wanted a partner that I didnt respect, and could bash around at will. Not so. Infact, quite the opposite. I want a partner who I can absolutely respect and can take whatever will I 'throw'.
Some one earlier put it better. Unstoppable Force meets Unmovable Object. A lack of delicacy, so the relationship itself isn't so delicate.
A man knowing the difference between me being hot tempered, and me not respecting him. Realising there is a difference. A man who isn't phased by what I say. Not simply deals with it, but isn't phased. Someone not so sensitive.
I never claimed to be socially intelligent. I don't think I am. So I'm not surprised if I'm portraying myself as a sociopath. Heck, maybe I am. So, if you really think I am, there's that admission.
Why would you even want to label yourself as "violent woman"? An hot headed? If you dont get your own way do you lash out? How violent are you? Your thread reads like you are trying hard to be against the supposed norms of a woman....even though those norms are unreal and have been unless you lived in the 40's where woman were meek housewives only. Just sounds like your bragging and going out of your way to say how different you are even though this will just alienate you from others. As if that makes you unique. But many woman like play fighting and will stand up for themselves and not be meek. Most woman are like this. Ive date woman that are very feminine and love a good play fight in the bedroom and also wont take crap and will stand up for themselves when needed.
Me, i want a woman to be a woman. To be confident and be herself. Not a woman that acts bossy, who gets angry and violent just because someone disagrees with her or if she cant get her own way. No guy wants that. Would you prefer to date a weak man that you can dominate? Or would you prefer a hot headed male and spend your relationship arguing about everything because both of you wont back down? Also you wont find a guy that will just put up with whatever you dish out. Only a weak man will, and you said you dont want that.
Me, i want a woman to be a woman. To be confident and be herself. Not a woman that acts bossy, who gets angry and violent just because someone disagrees with her or if she cant get her own way. No guy wants that. Would you prefer to date a weak man that you can dominate? Or would you prefer a hot headed male and spend your relationship arguing about everything because both of you wont back down? Also you wont find a guy that will just put up with whatever you dish out. Only a weak man will, and you said you dont want that.
I'm not quite sure what you're getting at OP, but I'll contribute my piece anyways.
I don't have anything against violent, hot-tempered girls as such, but I would say that I wouldn't be compatible with one, as I'm a bit of a loose cannon myself, and I would be scared to hell what would happen if we happened to unleash on each other. At the moment, I try to keep my off-the-chain rages to: controlling completely to dissipation, or just screaming like a psycho and walking out before anything happens. These are like, less than yearly affairs though.
HOWEVER. What I'm also getting from you is you like playfighting, now I like wrestling with my wife every now and then but that's about it. I wouldn't mind even having a partner who I could slip gloves on and have a good bit of sparring, (wife has some crazy flexible kicks that catch me off guard), but to have someone that is actually violent, with extremes that I couldn't tell where, is just plain scary. If you understand what I'm getting at. I see myself as pretty scary and untrustworthy in my younger days as to what I'd do, now I've grown out of it, but I don't know if I could handle someone like that.
Oh, and I try to establish a balance. I don't like mothering, and I don't like a submissive girl either that just says 'yes' and agrees to everything and puts me completely on a pedestal.
I don't have anything against violent, hot-tempered girls as such, but I would say that I wouldn't be compatible with one, as I'm a bit of a loose cannon myself, and I would be scared to hell what would happen if we happened to unleash on each other. At the moment, I try to keep my off-the-chain rages to: controlling completely to dissipation, or just screaming like a psycho and walking out before anything happens. These are like, less than yearly affairs though.
HOWEVER. What I'm also getting from you is you like playfighting, now I like wrestling with my wife every now and then but that's about it. I wouldn't mind even having a partner who I could slip gloves on and have a good bit of sparring, (wife has some crazy flexible kicks that catch me off guard), but to have someone that is actually violent, with extremes that I couldn't tell where, is just plain scary. If you understand what I'm getting at. I see myself as pretty scary and untrustworthy in my younger days as to what I'd do, now I've grown out of it, but I don't know if I could handle someone like that.
Oh, and I try to establish a balance. I don't like mothering, and I don't like a submissive girl either that just says 'yes' and agrees to everything and puts me completely on a pedestal.
I want to label myself as what I am. If you think I'm bragging, fine. I simply wanted to start a discussion, so I did. If this alienates me from others, fine.SonOfVoorhees said:
Odds are I'm not unique with how many people there are in the world, and I never implied that I was.
I want the opposite of a weak man.
I like you.RhombusHatesYou said:'Sorry' is something that happens to other people.
I'll reverse the question: Do women want "violent, short tempered" men? I don't think a lot of people in general like hot headed personalities. Agressiveness comes across as boorish, or arrogant, or controlling, or unwilling to compromise. All of those are bad qualities. Being strong in the face of adverse conditions, that is a desirable quality. Being submissive is not necesarily a bad quality, and you won't get far in life by refusing to submit to a boss or people you want to cooperate with. As long as their requests are reasonable, just compromise a litte and go along. It has nothing to do with showing weaknesses of the gender.
You haven't found the right person, I think.. I'm not quite the same way - I'm probably overly polite and cold to people I don't know well - but when I do know you, I am perfectly willing to be more enthusiastic in anger and happiness. My best friend in college had balloon fights with me all the time (still have a scar from that xD) and my fiancee and I just marathoned Bruce Lee movies and had faux kung fu fights during the slow scenes.IrisEver said:
I think it's just considered immature more often than violent, but I don't mind playing like that. It's fun, and I have confidence in my own intelligence and levelheadedness. If I took it too seriously, did it all the time or had an honestly short temper with people I'm sure it would bother them more.
Everyone likes me, I'm a lovable larrikin.IrisEver said:I like you.RhombusHatesYou said:'Sorry' is something that happens to other people.
First thing out my mouth would probably be "WEEEEE!" Followed by a huge *THUD*. I hope you didn't actually have someone cry because of that.IrisEver said:
As for why women deal with a more subservient type of women, all I can guess is that it's left over ideals from the 40's where Man = breadwinner, Woman = home maker though some do still enjoy that type of relationship.
Also, it could be that most people are simply shocked by your actions, since you seem to be quite a rarity compared to most of the women they've met so far. Or they simply take the first impression as "Well she must be like this all the time then" which can be worrying.
One thing that's good to do is introduce them to you in stages. I don't mean start out pretending to be innocent right off the bat then turn into your normal self, I mean start out with small samples. If a guy your talking to says something you don't agree with, say so. Don't jump out with the whole thousands list of why you think it's a dumb idea. Same with the play fighting, give em a small shove now and again, don't start it off with a smash to the skull.
Personally? It's fine if you can hold your own intellectually and physically as it means that I don't have to tip-toe around your feelings or feel like I have to be the one who always has to carry the heavy shit. However, that doesn't mean I'd like that all the time, common sense is enough to say that nobody would want someone to be aggressive to them constantly as it would just get annoying after a while.IrisEver said:
So, I guess my reasons against it are that some people would like a break from that crap and, if they're going through something that makes them emotionally vulnerable, like the death of a loved one or even if they've just had a hard day and are feeling a little down, then obviously they don't want to have to come home to someone who's only going to make them feel worse.
As long as you aren't being an abusive girl friend its all good. Confidence is something I look for in a women, it pulls me out of rut and gets me to take some action rather than just sulk. Its good to have someone who isn't afraid to push me. I'm generally passive which is a turn off to most women, but I don't want to be any thing else, so I understand where you are coming from. But If you act out side of a perceived gender role its harder to find a relationship, that doesn't mean its over it just means its harder. Since my issue is passive+passive=nothing gets gone, it works the same way with two aggressive people, if neither is willing to back down from an argument. My idea would be to possibly lower expectations of the other person rather than changing who you are.
Being aggressive or strong isn't a problem, the reason some men don't like that in a woman is they feel that aggressiveness is not a traditionally feminine quality. Some guys just prefer girls that are conventionally feminine and passive. On the other hand there are some men who may find that attractive. You were right to break up with that guy, you shouldn't have to change yourself to fit into a relationship. I'm sure you'll find someone who's right for you.
Personally I would have no problems dating a strong woman. I don't know how I'd feel about an aggressive woman though, mostly because I'm a fairly non-confrontational type, so my personality and hers might not mesh so well, but maybe it would, I don't really know.
On the other hand, the way you described yourself doesn't sound particularly violent, but I don't think violence is a desirable personality trait. In men or women. Again some men might find violence attractive in a relationship, I think there's a fetish for that actually, so you'd probably find a man who is attracted to that in a woman if you looked. It really depends on how violent you are and in what ways.
But I do not think I would date a "violent" woman though.
Don't despair though, I'm sure that someday you'll find the right guy for you, who will accept you for who you are. And if a guy doesn't like your aggressive personality, than he probably wasn't the guy for you.
Personally I would have no problems dating a strong woman. I don't know how I'd feel about an aggressive woman though, mostly because I'm a fairly non-confrontational type, so my personality and hers might not mesh so well, but maybe it would, I don't really know.
On the other hand, the way you described yourself doesn't sound particularly violent, but I don't think violence is a desirable personality trait. In men or women. Again some men might find violence attractive in a relationship, I think there's a fetish for that actually, so you'd probably find a man who is attracted to that in a woman if you looked. It really depends on how violent you are and in what ways.
But I do not think I would date a "violent" woman though.
Don't despair though, I'm sure that someday you'll find the right guy for you, who will accept you for who you are. And if a guy doesn't like your aggressive personality, than he probably wasn't the guy for you.
Bah! One of the best girlfriends I ever had smacked me in the face with a beer bottle when we met.Qitz said: