Violent women.
- Thread starter IrisEver
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long story short, i'd rather deal with a pacifist than someone who is so opinionated to the point that i am fearful for my own thoughts in that they will stab me in my sleep because i said something wrong that day.
that's how my mom is, and that's how some people i know are, and i fucking HATE being around them for more than a few hours at a time, it drives me absolutely up the wall.
why do i prefer this? idk, i'm pretty passive myself, and i don't mind having a good argument/exchange of ideas often enough, but if you are anything like the few friends or my mom, then you probably take it too far and hold grudges like a ************.
now i'm not saying you are this way, it's just alot of "dominant" women come across this way, and it's quite scary to be honest, and i tend to completely shut out any possibility of thinking of you more than the scary perosn you are to even consider dating you (not saying you you, just saying if you are like the person i was describing)
basically, in the long run, it causes much less stress, much less bullshit to deal with, and i just prefer passiveness to assertiveness
that's how my mom is, and that's how some people i know are, and i fucking HATE being around them for more than a few hours at a time, it drives me absolutely up the wall.
why do i prefer this? idk, i'm pretty passive myself, and i don't mind having a good argument/exchange of ideas often enough, but if you are anything like the few friends or my mom, then you probably take it too far and hold grudges like a ************.
now i'm not saying you are this way, it's just alot of "dominant" women come across this way, and it's quite scary to be honest, and i tend to completely shut out any possibility of thinking of you more than the scary perosn you are to even consider dating you (not saying you you, just saying if you are like the person i was describing)
basically, in the long run, it causes much less stress, much less bullshit to deal with, and i just prefer passiveness to assertiveness
The way I see it, women are beautiful however they are(unless they have a nasty, ugly attitude, then they, in turn, because nasty and ugly, to me. Physical attractiveness is directly related to attitude, to me). The only thing I want from a woman is to be treated kindly and fairly. If I upset you, then I do and I deserve the ire. But I can't stand when I get treated poorly simply because she's angry. Will not tolerate that. However, play fighting or just having fun doing things like wrestling, for example, or just horsing around is always fun to me. And honestly I find it kinda sexy when a girl can kick my ass, so + for her. : I don't care if women are assertive or aggressive, I just don't like when they're downright mean.
Examples?RhombusHatesYou said:
I don't hold much truck with extreme outliers like insanity. They're outliers.
Well the college I got to almost everywhere I hear about is people beating little guys up for the most petty reasons. I've worked in a hospital treating so many cases of men being sadistically violent without reasons.
I have seen a continuous and unbroken trend of this kind of sadistic violence in males, appeased and supported by other males that makes me lose faith in all mankind. I wonder if humanity were able to sustain with just females would the better part of humanity be saved than if all females went extinct? If I had to chose to save all males or all females I know which one I'd chose and it has nothing to do with chivalry. It's sheer practicality.
Well I for one like "violent" women, if they are subtle as you say it, I get extreamly annoyed.
...Hope that answers your question somewhat
...Hope that answers your question somewhat
Personally, I'm more interested in people who'll fight me, be it physically or mentally. I don't need the company of yes-men and kitchen bound maids. Violent depends, I suppose; are we talking aggressive and sadistic, or unafraid of your own physical power? If the second, welcome; I can't find enough people who are that comfortable with themselves.IrisEver said:
As for my choice in partner, it's the psychological version that matters; I want to be challenged. You need to be not only willing but able to keep me on my guard the whole time.
Violence is bad no metter who you are. Will and strength? Those are things everyone should strive for.
I dont find muscles that physically attractive. Sadface. But I suppose that's second to finding a man I can have a real connection with.ccdohl said:
I also dislike those sorts of sports. I like video games. That's just a hobby I'd like to share with a partner, but obviously unrelated to this thread.
I am now also amused by the realistion that I "like" all the wrong things and "dislike" all the wrong things for what I want. And that made no sense. Oh well. Forever alone.
Uh, I don't like to think of people as one dimensional like, pacifist and violent people, there are various facets to everyone's personality.
That being said, my general experience of people who say they're fiery and dominant is that they're arseholes who aren't respectful of others. Not saying that's what you are OP, I'm just saying that's my experience.
That being said, my general experience of people who say they're fiery and dominant is that they're arseholes who aren't respectful of others. Not saying that's what you are OP, I'm just saying that's my experience.
Personally, I think this is probably the sexiest way I've ever seen a woman describe herself. Aggressive, angry women are extremely attractive to me(like, it's a serious fetish), and I support the concept philosophically because I think it's bizarre that binary gender roles still exist. These are modern times. This isn't 1955 when women were property. Even now, women are flying airplanes, and deciding when to execute people. It's pretty sweet.IrisEver said:
I'm an angry lesbian, though, so I guess a niche opinion doesn't count for much.
I'm a guy and I've always had a thing for being the subdominant one, or at least equal. I've also always liked girls/women older than me. Maybe I'm unusual in the grand scheme of things but that's me.
Its probably not really men having a problem with women demonstrating more than "one ounce of strength or conviction in who they are"
Its people dealing with people they feel are arrogant.
If your confident, it's GOING to rub some people the wrong way. It happens, it's really easy to walk the line between arrogance and confidence tho, and alot of people have trouble telling the difference. Some get defensive towards people they feel are arrogant, its a matter of trust/respect I guess.
Be you, but know that being you will step on some people's toes, you don't need to care of course, but you could.
Its people dealing with people they feel are arrogant.
If your confident, it's GOING to rub some people the wrong way. It happens, it's really easy to walk the line between arrogance and confidence tho, and alot of people have trouble telling the difference. Some get defensive towards people they feel are arrogant, its a matter of trust/respect I guess.
Be you, but know that being you will step on some people's toes, you don't need to care of course, but you could.
As long as it doesn't cross into physical abuse (that's what you've got to be really careful of when you self-identify as aggressive, no matter your gender) you should be fine, and there probably is someone out there for you. I also find that a lot of people confuse being strong-headed or strong-willed with being disrespectful or unaware of someone else's comfort zone. No matter how you self identify, you're not going to build a lasting relationship with someone you feel is inferior to you, or, really, with someone to whom you come off as thinking little of.
Otherwise I can't really give any advice, I'm pretty submissive in my relationship.
Otherwise I can't really give any advice, I'm pretty submissive in my relationship.
IrisEver said:
I don't think anything about this. I would gladly accept a woman who was aggressive, argumentative or outgoing. Fiery, sure, hot-headed, sure. So long that she wasn't batshit insane, which some of those who market themselves as "aggressive" genuinely are (know that I am merely noting my experience, not accusing you in particular). Some things in life require a thoughtful and reasonable approach. I have no time to waste on people who have no self-restraint.IrisEver said:
Another thing to say is that I enjoy women who are as submissive as it gets, and then some. That is simply a personal preference. I don't relate it to masculinity, or to natural drives, or to "free spirit", or to other gender-based notions that some indulge in with pleasure. I am not to claim that it is wrong to be dominant woman; I just cannot have a romantic relationship with one. I treat my romantic interests as children, or as property. (Before this sets somebody off, let me note that I ensure that this is consensual. I would leave the relationship if it wasn't.) For me it is about a personal role, not gender roles.IrisEver said:
That is not to say that I want my women to lack personality. I can appreciate an aggressive, passionate, fiery character. But I am the one to have control.
I don't need, that is the thing. With need there is dependency. I think that a woman makes a nice addition to my life, like a painting to the wall.IrisEver said:
To some men, maybe. In childhood I never associated myself with boys. When I entered school, while the rest of the male part of my class was competing for female attention, I was sitting down quietly and doing something else. I can imagine how growing up in a group of guys can inspire fear of becoming a submissive male, especially now that in society, males who are submissive of their own volition are being put in the same group as males who are submissive because they dropped the ball.IrisEver said:
I'm never really going to be the more assertive person in any relationship I'm in, as I'm rather timid in nature so I think this sort of thing would keep a balanced dynamic in the relationship. In fact, I do find intimidating/aggressive women to be a turn on for me, so I'd be right one board for a relationship with one. To be honest, it would be good for me, I kind of need somebody to really give me a kick up the ass every now and then to motivate me a bit more. I'm reasonably accomadating and don't complain to much but that's not to say I'd be totally obsequious. If we're having a discussion about something and she's talking absolute bollocks, then I'll call her out on it, as we should be able to respectfully disagree on certain issues without making a big thing of it. I'm not really much of a violent person myself, but I don't mind if she gets rough with me, I guess is what I'm saying. As for your situation, maybe the guys you encounter think that aggressive women are more uptight and they're looking for someone they percieve to be more laidback and playful. There's a difference between being fiery and being a *****, perhaps there are times where you mean to be facetious but it just comes off as insulting. I don't know what your conduct around guy's is like though, so this is just guesswork.
I don't especially have a problem with violent women any more than I have a problem with violent men.
I dated a girl who was pretty violent, like, she left marks that were there for a month or more, and after that, it's very simple for me, no more. But that's my personal taste, and I do like women who are more aggressive than passive (partially because it lets me be passive.)
I think a lot of it has to do with personal taste, and people growing up expecting women to be more passive and such in the relationship, but also, some people like myself have no problem with aggression, even a little fun play violence, but when it gets serious and leaves really bad marks, from either one in a relationship, I think it's time to think about it. Unless you're both good with it. In which case, good on ya.
I dated a girl who was pretty violent, like, she left marks that were there for a month or more, and after that, it's very simple for me, no more. But that's my personal taste, and I do like women who are more aggressive than passive (partially because it lets me be passive.)
I think a lot of it has to do with personal taste, and people growing up expecting women to be more passive and such in the relationship, but also, some people like myself have no problem with aggression, even a little fun play violence, but when it gets serious and leaves really bad marks, from either one in a relationship, I think it's time to think about it. Unless you're both good with it. In which case, good on ya.