"Wait, how is that offensive?!"

[sir.rutthed]

There are certain things that are just flat out rude. Sadly, some of us didn't get the memo and don't quite get the "why" of it. This is a thread for those situations. What is something people say is extremely offensive and you just don't get why? I'll start off with homosexuality as a choice. I never got why some people are so offended by it, who the hell cares about WHY you're gay?

So, what don't you get? Feel free to help clarify it for your fellow man too, but let's try to keep it civil, mkay?

TL;DR: Screw you, I just watched Big Picture

EDIT: Thanks to the folks who replied to this post. I guess what I really don't get is why it's offensive to say someone has a choice in the matter rather than saying they're a slave to genetics/upbringing/whatever. Using the 'choice' argument as an excuse for persecution is disgusting, but it's also bullshit. At the same time, I think it's fair to say there are certain people who just like being gay better than being straight, so I think we can all agree that everyone should just mind their own damn business.

 

[Generalissimo]

i don't understand why people feel the need to make fun of my name. milner, derived from miliner. miliners made hats. see where i'm going with this?

 

[TitanAtlas]

Well... to me is when i'm telling a joke or talking to someone and say black people. But my friends sush me up like i'm saying a racist word or something. Never understood why. Some people are black other white, i think it's a normal thing.

When i was a kid i kinda thinked people would be offended when i said the term "Black" to refer to a person, but a friend of mine, wich was black, saied he would feel more offended if i didn't use the word, considering there would be a racist connection by not using a common and normal word.

So yeah...

 

[Palademon]

I dared to say that me hitting people depends on how I feel, not their gender...

 

[Shoggoth2588]

Well... to me is when i'm telling a joke or talking to someone and say black people. But my friends sush me up like i'm saying a racist word or something. Never understood why. Some people are black other white, i think it's a normal thing.

When i was a kid i kinda thinked people would be offended when i said the term "Black" to refer to a person, but a friend of mine, wich was black, saied he would feel more offended if i didn't use the word, considering there would be a racist connection by not using a common and normal word.

So yeah...

I don't get why the word "black" is considered offensive especially compared to the far less sensitive "African American" which I consider to be extremely presumptive. Of all the black people who live in the U.S. I know they aren't all originally from Africa and yet the term 'African American' implies just that. While it's true that their family may have originated from the continent, many people who are referred to as such weren't just born in the U.S, their parents, grandparents and, further generations back were also born American.

Other than that...I haven't really got anything. Well, other than PETA being upset by the Tanooki Suit but not giving a flip before now such as when Mario donned the Frog or Penguin suit...or how he's been stomping on turtles and using their hallowed out shells as weapons since the mid/late 80's...or how he's mistreated/abused Donkey Kong since the early 80's

 

[Whateveralot]

I'm Dutch and met some crazy-religious people that find the Dutch word for "thunder" amazingly offensive.

It doesn't make sense to me, I never sought harm behind the word, but apparently they don't want you to mention smiting-tools of their God.

 

[kayisking]

I'm Dutch and met some crazy-religious people that find the Dutch word for "thunder" amazingly offensive.

It doesn't make sense to me, I never sought harm behind the word, but apparently they don't want you to mention smiting-tools of their God.

Yes, because atheist are often struck by bliksem.

OT: Meh, never really been in such a situation.

 

[Nimzabaat]

I've used the term "monkey" to refer to people that act in a way that could use some... refinement. I have heard that some people only refer to a specific "racial" type and therefore consider it to be a racist term. I suppose I do use it in a racist manner, but against the human race as a whole, not singling out any specific ethnicity.

 

[kortin]

Well, not something that is said, but rather what one does:

Wearing Hats inside. I know why it used to be offensive, but it STILL being offensive is just absolutely stupid.

 

[Scrustle]

I think the reason someone might think that it's offensive to be told that homosexuality is a choice is because of the connotations behind it. The person who is saying it could be doing so because they have been taught that as part of their religious beliefs, which would mean the person is basically calling the gay person immoral and that it's their own fault. Also I think that it could be offensive in that it's pretty obviously not true. People often have huge problems coming to terms with their sexuality and how people will react to it once they come out. If sexuality was a choice then why does that happen? If someone doesn't want to be gay, then why can't they choose to just not be? Why do they have to go through years of angst and feeling confused and uncertain if they could just stop it if they wanted? Because they can't.

 

[Saulkar]

Inquiring about people's real life disabilities and being told that there is nothing wrong with them and that by saying that there is being bigoted. Jesus!

 

[gazumped]

Once or twice I've had people say "that's out of line!" and I ask "wh...what did I do?" and they'll say "I SHOULDN'T EVEN HAVE TO SAY." So... I don't even know what I did. Maybe they were just pulling my leg? Or are crazy?

I'll start off with homosexuality as a choice. I never got why some people are so offended by it, who the hell cares about WHY you're gay?

The choice thing is because it suggests that gay people can avoid prejudice, verbal and physical attacks, sometimes even murder, if they just stopped with their alternative lifestyle. Suggesting that they chose to live that life trivialises the hardships they have to deal with because, hey, THEY chose it!

 

[LITE992]

I'm not sure why people find curse words offensive, because haven't we been taught as kids that "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me."?

 

[FirmartheTrilby]

Well, not something that is said, but rather what one does:

Wearing Hats inside. I know why it used to be offensive, but it STILL being offensive is just absolutely stupid.

This! Oh god this! I still don't understand it and it makes me rage (literally) so much...I am so putting my Trilby hat and going to a restraurant or something.

 

[DonMartin]

Most of Frankie Boyle's "jokes". Notice that the audience mostly react with "ooooh" instead of a laugh. I personally don't find them offensive, I just think it's odd that people find shock "humor" to be funny.

"If there were a late-night comedy show completely run by comedy writers, without any interference from a host, producer, or network, that show would probably be called The Darkest and Most Impossibly Horrible Things You Can Imagine, Presented as Comedy. Every sketch would end with a gunshot or an infant?s stroller engulfed in flames, and the show would be canceled halfway through its opening titles. That?s because most comedy writers are so inured by humor that only the most shockingly toxic ideas can achieve the proper velocity to penetrate their indifference. " -Todd Levin

I dont know, I sort of think this has something to do with it. Now personally I dont find Frankie Boyle's jokes funny either, I just think this is something interesting, sort of relevant to what you said and very true. Your post just made me remember this and made me want to share it.

Wow, this has nothing to do with the OP.

 

[Something Amyss]

I'll start off with homosexuality as a choice. I never got why some people are so offended by it, who the hell cares about WHY you're gay?

Aside from it being false, and the perpetuation of that falsehood being a long-standing method of marginalising homosexuals and barring them rights?

Can't think of a reason people might find it offensive.

I don't think a memo is needed here, just common sense and empathy.

I have a feeling that will be a recurring thing in this thread.

 

[krazykidd]

Well... to me is when i'm telling a joke or talking to someone and say black people. But my friends sush me up like i'm saying a racist word or something. Never understood why. Some people are black other white, i think it's a normal thing.

When i was a kid i kinda thinked people would be offended when i said the term "Black" to refer to a person, but a friend of mine, wich was black, saied he would feel more offended if i didn't use the word, considering there would be a racist connection by not using a common and normal word.

So yeah...

Question , when you are talking about something do you ever say "white people" ? Or when talking about another thing and say yellow or orange or brown people( for asian , indonesian and indian )?

I do find that Offensive a bit , like i am being judged for being black , but it's not direct rascime perse , unless you follow up woth something racist.

Also rememer something , just because something doesn't offend on person ( usually a friend ) it doesn't mean it doesn't offend others . Something people tend to forget . Oh and having a close relationship to a person that is black ( or any race imo) doesn't make saying racist things less racist .

Example: a month ago me and a couple of friends were at a bar . We were four , me( black), my gf ( white ), a close friend of mine ( asian ) and another close friend ( white ). At the end of the night, my two friends were leaving , i said something to my asian friend like , you better not drive , since you know asians tend to be bad drivers sober ( as a joke) , then she turn , and says later , shit! *stutters* face. I replied hey thats racist ( now this didn't really offend me since she didn't mean it in a racist way ). The my other friend which was white says , bye ****** . At this point i told my asian friend to get he out of here , and the my white friend was like , remember my dad is black ( her dad was black , and she was white as snow ,but it still really offended me ). And i have yet to speak to her again to this day , and don't intend to.

TLR having a black friend , lover or parent doesn't excuse saying racist things

 

[Highlandheadbanger]

I'll start off with homosexuality as a choice. I never got why some people are so offended by it, who the hell cares about WHY you're gay?

The claim that homosexuality is a choice is offensive because it is only really brought up in discussions of morality, and in this regards it implies a sort of wickedness and willingly evil action on the part of the individual. It implies that people who are attracted to the same gender are commmiting a crime against nature or against God, that the person is not dealing with internal feelings which he/she cannot understand or control (similar to race, gender, ethnicity , etc.), but rather willfully choosing to do something they know is wrong or vile.

As the boyfriend of a straight LGBT rights advocate, I've been introduced to people who have had to struggle to rationalize in their own minds their feelings for other people. I spoke to one man who'd been raised in a repressive evangelical household and failed in several attempts to commit suicide as a teenager. Despite all of his efforts to be straight, he couldn't force himself to like women instead of men. He thought himself an abomination, and tried to send himself to Hell because that was the only thing he felt he deserved.

 

[otakon17]

This only happened to me once, but it still perplexes me so. I used to work at a DD/BR and I was making a woman a couple of sundaes. I had just gotten one done and I started to ask her "What would you like the other one as?". I didn't get past "What", she gave me a look like I'd said "Go fuck yourself whore!" and stormed off muttering about "How dare you talk to me like that!". I have no idea what happened, I asked the other employee's I even asked a customer. Though, the customer said I cursed out loud within earshot of her daughter earlier and she wasn't even perturbed by it(I said damn when I burnt myself on some hot metal).

 

[Deathmageddon]

I got called out for saying "Jew" once. If you're Jewish and you practice Judaism, then you are a Jew. Just because you conjugate a word a certain way does not make it offensive, especially if you're using it correctly. Also, what should we say if not "black?"