Wanting another guy's girl

[Cowabungaa]

Yup, been in the same boat a few times. But then again I don't really mind the friendzone all that much, it's pretty comfortable...

It is when you're with someone already, it ain't when you're awfully lonely and want someone to love and love you back.

Anyway, I luckily haven't been in this situation. There is this one girl I know that I could technically feel something for, but she's indeed taken and lives in Britain as well, so I luckily ain't feeling anything for her. I wish I could help, but my love-senses seem to deactivate automatically when the girl's taken.

 

[Lord_Nemesis]

Keep the fuck away. Dunno how deep you are in with this guy but it happened to me. He was one of my best buds back in the day. i knew his family, he knew mine, they knew each other. He had this girl, Jemma, and I liked her, not to the extent you're talking about. One night, the magic happened and the fallout was nigh unbearable. Family arguments, my other mates were mis-trustful of me, other girls wouldn't even talk to me. All for one night of sex and shit sex at that.

Do yourself a favour and back off.

 

[mortalsatsuma]

Yeah, happened to me. Fancied my best mates girlfriend, then I was at a party with her just after they broke up. We both drunk a lil bit so were "in the mood" Ended up kissing, a lot then she pulled me down onto a bed, at which point, unbelievably, I came to my senses and realised how stupid I was for doing what I was about to let myself do. We are now just really close friends, although annoying starting to get feelings for her, plus I think her new boyfriend is a drug addicted twat.

 

[SofaEater]

yeah, but the other guy is a tool.

oh ho ho ho. I know what you mean, there are 2 gals I'd give my left nut to date. Boyfriends are tools and dicks in general.

Just the way of life mate, hold on to the actual relationships in you have.

"friends come and go, but enemies accumulate" -Murphy's Law(i think)

 

[astrav1]

Of course. All you have to do is not let it drive you to action and be happy that she is with a good guy.

 

[Stasisesque]

I've been the girl, the one in the relationship whilst an outsider has had "feelings" for me. From this point of view I say: Stop it, stop it now, do whatever you can to quash these emotions and move on. Absolutely do not tell her, under any circumstances. Relationships require effort on both sides, and if your girl is happy with her significant other there is very, very little chance she will be flattered to know about your infatuation.

 

[Iron Mal]

Well look at what could happen potentially, if you try going for her anyway (which would mean trying to break them up) then for the possible chance of getting with her (which may not even succeed) you risk losing good friends and making things bitter between you.

You chose to 'swallow your pride', so to speak, and it'll continue to bother you for a while and you'll be suffering from the phrase 'nothing ventured, nothing gained'.

Which one seems more worth it?

 

[SofaEater]

yeah, but the other guy is a tool.

Hey man, I know exactly what you mean. Their this girl who I would give my left nut to date and her boyfriend is a frat boy, dick. But I can't cause that ain't right. If she's happy then let it be. If you are the better man she'll come to you.

Besides that the way of the world. And keep hold of your friends.

"friends come and go, but enemies accumulate"-Murphy's Law(I think)

 

[OutcastBOS]

*insert Rick Springfield song here*

But yeah, I've been there...too many times.

 

[Nimcha]

Yeah, happened to me. Fancied my best mates girlfriend, then I was at a party with her just after they broke up. We both drunk a lil bit so were "in the mood" Ended up kissing, a lot then she pulled me down onto a bed, at which point, unbelievably, I came to my senses and realised how stupid I was for doing what I was about to let myself do. We are now just really close friends, although annoying starting to get feelings for her, plus I think her new boyfriend is a drug addicted twat.

Why did you stop, they were broken up right? I don't see the problem...

 

[biGBum333]

i usually get turned off the moment i find out a nice girl is dating another guy. even so i still feel for ya dude!

 

[8-Bit Grin]

I wait for them to show interest in me.

If they don't, oh well.

If they do... Oh well, bro.

 

[Laminator5]

Yer this is pretty much exactly the same situation I am in with one of my house mates. Also it turned out that she actually knew how I felt for a while, I didn't tell her but I must have been less subtle than I thought, massively embarrassing. FML

 

[JUMBO PALACE]

If she has feelings for you she'll come to you naturally. It complicates things that you're friends with her boyfriend, because if you steal her, he'll hate you, and if she breaks up with him for you, he'll still hate you. Regardless, don't try to break them up. That's just scummy.

 

[Sandytimeman]

I'm on that boat now but this is how I see it.

The other guy won or got their first, so its time for me to move on.

I have a responsibility to myself and their are plenty of women out in the sea, its just up to you to stop fishing for the one an go out exploring.

 

[Griffolion]

I guess I'm stuck on her for now as there's no'one else I actually like. But I'll never do anything to break them up at all, it's just horrible having this feeling now, as most of you seem to know too.

 

[MassiveGeek]

I'm one of those guys you're talking about. I've been with my fiancee since I was 15 (now 23), and not once has any of my friends let on that they feel the way you do (if they do at all). If you truly care for your friend and his happiness then you will leave well alone. You'll be a better man for it.

What this guy and other people have said.

Don't be a dick, it'll only end badly.

 

[MakerOfRoads]

This subject enrages me.

I suspect none of the people who say "Go for it", or, "Yeah I've done it before, fuck the other guy" have actually had a woman cheat on them.

Happened to me once, and I swear by the life in me it will never happen again.

I'm lucky I got away with what I did.

He was in the hospital for quite a while.

I informed my then wife that it was over, and I inform every subsequent girlfriend of what will happen if she cheats on me. She is taking another person's life into her own hands when she contemplates it.


Long story short, don't do it people.

You may think her boyfriend is just a tool, drug addicted scumbag, whatever...

Doesn't mean he wont kick the shit out of you when he finds out.

 

[trooper6]

I guess I'm stuck on her for now as there's no'one else I actually like. But I'll never do anything to break them up at all, it's just horrible having this feeling now, as most of you seem to know too.

Here's the thing. Pining after someone who is not available is often a way to avoid rejection. While you fixate on her, with "no one else you actually like," you get to have an emotional charge without any risk. You don't have to deal with a) the uncertainty and risk of asking out someone and b) the uncertainty and risk of having an actual relationship.

If you actually want to be in a relationship, you need to stop using this girl as a crutch and go out and find someone who is available.

 

[Griffolion]

I guess I'm stuck on her for now as there's no'one else I actually like. But I'll never do anything to break them up at all, it's just horrible having this feeling now, as most of you seem to know too.

Here's the thing. Pining after someone who is not available is often a way to avoid rejection. While you fixate on her, with "no one else you actually like," you get to have an emotional charge without any risk. You don't have to deal with a) the uncertainty and risk of asking out someone and b) the uncertainty and risk of having an actual relationship.

If you actually want to be in a relationship, you need to stop using this girl as a crutch and go out and find someone who is available.

It's easier said than done when you're like me! I can't say I'm the best catch. D: