Wanting another guy's girl
- Thread starter Griffolion
- Start date
Recommended Videos
It doesn't happen to me often, because being single is one of my criterion for attractiveness. I dont find girls who are already in a relationship to be nearly as attractive because the only two places I could see it going, nowhere, or to leaving.cheating on her original partner, are two places that would make me find her heavily unattractive to anyway.
This makes your crush on the unattainable girl even more of a crutch. So here's what I have to say:Griffolion said:
1) You are probably more of a catch than you think you are. There are options for romance for everyone.
2) Take a self-assessment and decide what things under your control will make you a better catch, and do those things.
3) Confidence is attractive. Get more confident.
Here's a story. I was in the Army this one time and buddy of mine came to me and complained about how women would never date him because a) they only liked jerks and b) they only liked rich guys with great bodies.
I looked at him as asked, "When you go out to bars to hit on women are you dressed like you are right now?"
He said, "Yeah."
I said, "That's your problem."
Guy would to out to the bar in a ratty metal T-shirt and baseball cap, shorts and sneakers, scruffy. Just looking like a dude hanging out on a Sunday. I pointed out that the girls in the bar would get dressed up and put on make-up and try to look attractive, and they do like the same. So I said, "Shave, don't wear the hat, put on a button down shirt and a belt, wear shoes not sneakers." He got a girlfriend shortly afterwards.
If you don't think you are the best catch, make yourself the best catch.
If you aren't good with yourself other people aren't going to be either...well, except those people who like dating insecure people. And you don't want to date those people.
I'm in a similar situation myself except that my friend's boyfriend isn't really a friend of mine. I still don't want to break them up though. They might break up on their own though. They were very close about a month ago. I'll just wait and see like I've always have. I've fancied her for a long time but she's always had a boyfriend in one form or another. So I've never really been able to get my foot in the door so to speak.
You are correct sir. I am trying to morally guide people.bringer of illumination said:
And in no way am I gloating.
I didn't enjoy doing any of it. I didn't enjoy the outcome. I in fact hated the entire fucking situation, and the woman who put me in it.
The situation caught me off guard, and a normally calm, relaxed person did something that was wrong. I'm sorry I did it, and I'm doing my best to reign this sort of thing in, but judging by my past, who am I to say that it won't happen again if presented with the same situation?
I'm just giving fair warning.
And here, I'm trying to help people who seem to not be taking the full situation into account.
Haha well i can't say i dress like your friend! I think my sense of style tends to be very good, i think my confidence in who i am tends to be the downfall. It seems all girls go for are musicians, photographers, models or graphic designers these days and i'm none of those...trooper6 said:
well, in all fairness this happened to me, and it actually worked well. except the relationship she was in was awful, i mean like, dire. so went out with her a couple of times (knew her for a couple of years from work, but just as friends) and then we got talking, and i helped convince her that she should finally put an end to her relationship.
move forward another week, i sleep over and finally ask her out. still going strong 4 months later, haven't been happier ^^
my advice, don't force her into anything, let her make up her mind. but let her know that you are rather keen on her, so she can make a fully informed decision xD
move forward another week, i sleep over and finally ask her out. still going strong 4 months later, haven't been happier ^^
my advice, don't force her into anything, let her make up her mind. but let her know that you are rather keen on her, so she can make a fully informed decision xD
You don't have to be a musician, photographer, or whatever. You have to be an interesting guy with hygiene and very basic social skills--and who has the confidence to put themselves out there and talk to and ask out people.Griffolion said:
If you've ever seen the questionable reality show "The Pick-Up Artist"--the main thing these guys who can never get a date had to learn? Confidence and the ability to walk up to a woman, say hello, and make small talk.
Other guys are NOT better than you, they are just more confident. Work on that.
Oh trooper6, you and your adequate social adjustment, LMAO, i keed i keed. But thanks for the advicetrooper6 said:
.
There's a hundred different people here telling you to shut up and take it like a man.Griffolion said:
Sadly, you wont do that. Why? Because men are genetically programmed to try to get with girls no matter how low the odds of success are. It makes it more likely that we'll breed and spread our genes.
On the reverse side, women are programmed to be pickier so that they find a suitable father for their brood of babies.
This is just how we are. Even if we have no intention of having children it's still part of our make up. That's why, no matter how liberated women get our how safe sex gets women will never, as a whole, want to run around sexing as much as guys do.
Sure you may resist it at first but eventually you'll give in, it'll ruin your relationship with both your friend and his girl, and you'll find yourself sitting in your bathtub rocking back and forth wondering why you were such an idiot.
Welcome to being a male.
Yup.Griffolion said:
Even went out on a limb and told her how I felt, and tried to get her to be with me instead.
Didn't work.
You learn quick that no matter how much you like someone, they may not reciprocate those feelings, or even if they DO like you back (As in my case), that doesn't mean they don't like their current boyfriend more. So that's how it went.
They are still together, as far as I know, and I'm now married to my amazing wife. So, frankly, I'm glad that didn't work. And I'm glad I got over it, too. I was able to meet and fall in love with someone who is a better person in every way. Can't complain about that, can I?
So my advice? Just tell her. She digs the idea? Away you go.
If not? Respect that, and respect her and back off. You don't get everything you want even when you really really want it.
If your trying to justify sleeping with someone else's mate, then yes you are a scumbag.bringer of illumination said:
And the reason for the fair warning isn't to feel justified when the assault happens, it's there as a reminder. I don't just say to a woman, "Baby, if you cheat on me, I'm going to kill the guy.", its more in depth than that. I would rather be dumped at the first inkling that she may be unfaithful, and that is the idea I would like to give to my mate. The punishment for which is something soo absurd, that it makes an impression.
Does this make me a psycho?
Possibly.
Does it mean I'm not actively seeking professional help?
Certainly not.
But the reality of the situation is, everyone who your girlfriend sleeps with besides you while your dating may or may not share the same personal flaws as me, or possibly be more far gone than I.
Food for thought.
